The Vampire Guardian
by obsessiveness
Summary: Under the constant pressure of having to appear as a perfect image of feminine delicacy, Ruka eventually cracks. Every girl should get the chance to have a little fun. But when things go terribly wrong, will Kain be able to protect her? KainxRuka
1. Established Expectations

**Now that I've written over 20 chapters, here are a few things you might care to know before you begin.**

**1.) No, there is no AidouxRuka in this story. I stick to treating their relationship as more of siblings than anything else.**

**2.) Yes, there are lemons, but they happen in good time, after some character and plot development. (and yes, they're RukaxKain)**

**3.) There is a reason this story is rated M. As stated above, it contains lemons as well as angst, some violence, and language (sparingly). Although, I do try to lighten it up with a little comedy wherever I can. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of it's characters.**

* * *

The active ballroom of evening socialites seemed to extend endlessly in the extravagantly decorated mansion. Ruka's teeth ground against each other as she forced her features to relax in order to portray a perfect picture of calm sophistication. Appearances were everything, after all, and nobody would suspect the eldest Souen daughter to be anything but calm and sophisticated.

She drew in a deep breath in an attempt to relax, then remembered that her tight fitting gown did not allow for such a leisurely posture. Dutifully, she straightened her shoulders and raised her chin as she made her way past swishing skirts and vampires in tuxedos. Her parents stood across the room, and were most likely expecting a report on Kaname's latest political movements with the Vampire Hunter Society.

Her father stood, tall and elegant in a dark suit, holding a wine glass of dark red liquid, fresh blood and liquer. Beside him stood the lady Souen, wearing beige silk and appearing fashionably disinterested. Ruka definitely took after her mother. It was where she had attained soft brown hair, a petite nose, and gently curved lips. Maybe it was something she should be more appreciative of, but Ruka only thought of it as yet another expectation. Poise and beauty were a means to an end. If only the end would come sooner rather than later.

Her mother was the first to notice her as she approached. "Ruka dear, it is so nice to see you. She looks a little pale don't you think so darling?" She said as she turned to her husband.

Ruka remained quiet as her father looked down at her over the rim of his glass. Almost subconcsiously she lifted her shoulders as she gave him what she hoped was a confident yet appropriately meek smile.

After a quick dismissive glance he gave the impression of a shrug. "I suppose."

"Ruka, honestly, would it kill you to apply a touch of rouge here and there?" Her mother chided as she reached out to painfully pinch Ruka's cheeks with cold, bony fingers.

Ruka allowed the treatment without a single wince, despite the sharp pains that shot from her cheek to her jawbone. "I'll remember next time."

"You do that." Her mother continued as she stepped back and assessed her dress. "I think violet may not be the right color for you, and have you gained some weight?"

Ruka took the ongoing chastisations in stride. "I don't think so mother, but I will be sure to watch what I eat for awhile."

Her father let out a sigh. "That's enough honey. She has more important things to tell us. What of Kaname's progress with the Vampire Hunter Society. Does he honestly plan to treaty with those barbarians?"

Ruka paused before she began. It was important that she only reveal the barest of facts. Too much information and the aristocratic society of vampires would go into shock, and knowing her mother's tendency towards gossip, the entire society would know of anything she said very quickly.

"So far he has only had a few meetings with them. He is continuing with his attempts to attain peace with humans but is taking it at a careful pace."

"Well thank heavens for that!" Her mother huffed. "At this rate, we will have to start inviting _humans_ to our gatherings."

Her father didn't look quite as convinced by her display. "Maybe there's more that you'd like to tell us, Ruka."

_More? _This was what she had been worried about. She needed to evade these questions without making it appear that she was anything but open and forthcoming with information. Uncertainty made her palms sweat. There had to be some way to talk her way out of this.

"My my, if it isn't the charming lady Souen." A male voice spoke from behind her.

Ruka turned just in time to catch Aidou stepping past her. He dashingly brushed blond strands of hair away from his eyes as he bent down to kiss her mother's hand. "Are you quite certain you're not Ruka's sister? She tells me you're her mother but I swear this has to be a lie."

Ruka barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes as her mother beamed at Aidou. You'd think he would eventually grow up and stop using those lines. And you'd think that they wouldn't work on every single female of any age, shape and species. But, of course, they always did.

"Oh, you have just grown up to be every bit as handsome as your father." Her mother flushed from the young vampire noble's flirtations.

Aidou simply winked down at her as if he was used to these sorts of compliments. He probably heard women tell him he was handsome all the time.

"Actually, I was going to ask you for a dance, but I'm too worried that Souen-san wouldn't be too happy about our liasons. Maybe you wouldn't mind if I stole your daughter for a bit?"

As usual, her mother flushed from his attention. "You have such a wonderful sense of humor. Please, take her. She looks as if some activity would do her good. She could certainly use to burn a few calories."

It was just so like them to all talk about her as if she wasn't there. Ruka was always the meek and silent beauty, an expensive decoration that no dedicated hostess could do without. She was there to be discussed and admired, not to be asked for opinions.

Ruka came out of her thoughts as she realized Aidou had grabbed her by the wrist and was dragging her across the dance floor. She looked over her shoulder to see her father engaged in conversation with another Vampire noble and her mother gazing back at her and Aidou with large hopeful eyes.

Of course, a member of the Aidou family would be the perfect catch for a Souen daughter. The Souen family status wasn't high enough to hope that a Souen girl could be married to a pureblood. But the Aidous were among the most powerful and established nobles of vampire society.

The thought made her sick to her stomach.

"Just what do you think you're doing, Hanabusa. This isn't helping anything." She said through gritted teeth as she tried to hide her frustration from any possible onlookers.

"First, you should relax and enjoy yourself. And second you should be thanking me." Aidou said as he put a hand at the small of her back and spun her across the room in a graceful waltz.

"You're not stopping them from asking questions. Just prolonging the inevitable."

"Ruka, you need to take a break. Cut yourself some slack, go out, get some drinks, and get some girls...errr guys, I mean."

This time, Ruka did allow herself to roll her eyes. "I'm nothing like you and you know that I can't do anything like that. Sure it's easy for you to say. There's nothing any Aidou could possibly do to ruin such a powerful reputation. Speaking of which, didn't your parents succeed in marrying off your sister to one of the purebloods from out of the country?"

Aidou's face slightly reddened as his features deepened into a scowl. Ruka knew this was a sensitive subject for him and took sadistic pleasure at jabbing back at him. One point for him and one point for her, they were even now.

"Careful or I just might decide to step on your toes. You wouldn't hear any mumbled apologies from me." He retorted.

Ruka smiled as he brought back the childhood memory. When they had been children their parents had decided they all needed to start dancing lessons. It had been her, Akatsuki, Hanabusa and then the maid's daughter, who every body suspected was the bastard child of Hanabusa's father but nobody spoke about.

Poor Akatsuki, he was tall and patient, but when it came to dancing he couldn't even compare to his dashing cousin. Hanabusa had no problem spinning the girls around with an elegant grace that he picked up with seemingly natural born instincts.

Akatsuki, on the other hand, had frequently stepped on her toes. His palm had sweat when he held her hand and she remembered his other hand slightly shaking at the small of her back. Not only that, but his face had been bright red the entire time as he mumbled apologies each time he stepped on her toes. Ruka never gave it much thought that this didn't seem to happen when he danced with the maid's daughter. Instead she assumed it must have been her own clumsiness and, unfortunately, her mother agreed. Ruka had taken extra evening classes alone for weeks after that.

As her mind wandered she found herself gazing around the room to locate the tall vampire noble. When she caught sight of him she frowned. He was leaning against a pillar on the side of the ballroom, looking directly at her, and he was not smiling. His bright reddish blond hair contrasted sharply with chocolate brown eyes. He seemed to be deep in thought and incredibly unhappy about something. Their eyes met breifly, before he looked away and then moved out of her vision.

Aidou noticed her distraction. "Don't worry about him, he's just pissed that I broke the two minute rule."

"Two minute rule?"

Aidou laughed nervously and stepped away from her scratching the back of his head. "Ah, nothing just a silly guy thing. Hey, weren't we talking about getting you to loosen up? You should come to the after party."

"After party?" Ruka was starting to feel like a mimic.

"Yeah c'mon. I think we're actually leaving pretty soon. We should be heading to meet them at the back door."

Aidou grabbed her by the wrist and started dragging her towards the back. "Hanabusa! Stop this right now. You know I can't leave with you! What would people think?"

Aidou paused and raised an eyebrow. "I dare you not to care. Besides, your mother looks like she is in matchmaker's heaven."

Ruka turned to look back at her parents. Sure enough, her mother was beaming back at her. Oh god this didn't help at all. Now if she stayed at the party, her mother would blame her for not encouraging the rich vampire noble's attentions. Ruka wasn't sure how many lectures she could handle in one night.

"Fine, but I'm only leaving with you for an hour. Then I'm coming back immediately."

"Awe Ruka!" Aidou whined. "One hour is going to completely ruin my reputation! You have to be gone for at least three."

"Three hours?" Ruka gasped. "Just what is it you do for so long that it takes..."

Aidou gave her a devilish grin and winked.

"Oh nevermind. We'll compromise at one and a half. And not a minute longer."

"You drive a hard bargain." He stopped and seemed to mull over this as if it was a life-altering decision. Then he nodded tersely. "Fine. Lets go."

Ruka couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement as she followed Aidou to the back door. For the first time in her life, she, Ruka Souen, was going to break the rules.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think so far, whether it be good or bad. I'm not particular. Any feedback makes me happy.**


	2. Burning Silence

**Thank you for the review. ---notice singular form. It would be nice to get more and it makes me write faster. I swear! ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I don't own vampire knight or any of it's characters, and I'm certainly not getting paid for this.**

* * *

He never stopped watching her. Tonight, her skin seemed to outline with an ethereal glow making her seem even farther away and completely untouchable. Her hair rested high in an up-do that managed to look messy yet still appropriate and proper. Tousled strands of light brown hair flowed over high cheek bones, framing profoundly sad eyes. He had always admired her wavy hair that contrasted so elegantly with a never ending calmness, like the still water of a pond being brushed by a soft breeze.

But with her hair up, it accentuated her long thin neck. He had spent most of the night unable to look away from it. The necklace was the killer. The thin gold chain hung at the base of her neck, settling gently over her collar bone. He pictured running his fingers along her vein to move it aside, just enough to make room for his mouth...

Kain forced himself to look away.

Instead he watched the purebloods. He was, after all, there to keep an eye on the new pureblood princess. Those had been Kaname's orders and Kain had no intention of disobeying them. Ruka was talking to her parents anyways.

He inwardly winced with compassion for her. Ruka's parents had always weighted her with persistent pressure. She was never good enough in their eyes and they were utter fools for thinking this way. Somehow, two seemingly intelligent people were entirely oblivious to the strength in her personality hiding under a perfect feminine exterior. As delicate as she appeared, Ruka could still withstand any emotional beating. The way she tolerated Kaname's feelings for Yuuki was proof enough.

His eyes wandered back to her despite his mind's commands. She seemed to be holding up fairly well under what was no doubt a full course of corrections and constant berating from her mother. Kain doubted anybody noticed the slight tension in her spine that she disguised with a demure smile.

"You should go save her." Aidou appeared beside him. "Look, her parents are interrogating her again."

Aidou was the only other person who knew about Kain's feelings for Ruka. It wasn't because they ever spoke about it. It was just because they had known each other for so long that sometimes they didn't need to speak to come to an understanding.

"She doesn't need to be saved, Hanabusa."

Aidou grinned, "That right there, cousin, is your problem with women. It's not whether they _need _to be saved. It's whether they _want _to."

Kain didn't bother to respond to this. Aidou's ongoing obsession with girls was a force that could never be stopped. Maybe that was part of the reason they had managed to stay so close throughout their lives, because they were complete opposites. Aidou was impulsive and outgoing while Kain was, well, patient and devoted, if nothing else.

Aidou began tapping his foot impatiently.

"Don't you have some place to be?" Kain asked. "I thought by now I would be making excuses for your disappearance."

"As a matter of fact, I do, but then I saw you standing over here sulking and staring at her like a puppy dog."

Kain scowled, "I don't stare at her like a puppy dog, and I would never treat her like some type of conquest."

"Hrmph whatever."

They both watched as Ruka's mother reached over and began pinching her cheeks.

Aidou checked his watch. "Well if you're just going to stand there, then I suppose I'll go save her myself."

And with that he walked away, sidestepping women who tried to stop him in hopes of attention.

Kain watched his cousin closely as he unabashedly flirted with Ruka's mother before grabbing Ruka by the wrist and dragging her to the dance floor. The two swung into a waltz that they had all learned as children.

Kain felt the heat of jealousy begin to steam inside him. It wasn't like it was the first time he had stood idly while Ruka dance with another vampire, but he could never trust a person like his cousin with her. There were unwritten rules between them. Ruka was off limits. Aidou knew that, but Kain was never sure if Aidou could resist the prospect of stirring up trouble.

Kain's eyes narrowed as he stared at Aidou's hand at the small of her back. At that moment he deeply wished he could burn off his cousin's fingers. Aidou was coming dangerously close to breaking the agreement they had made ages ago.

When they had been children, Aidou had come up with what he had announced was a great game in which they practiced kissing with Ruka. Aidou, of course, got to go first. Their faces had been barely an inch away before Kain had roughly grabbed Aidou by the collar and punched him in the nose.

Fortunately, vampire nobles didn't develop their special powers until puberty, because if the cousins had been able to use fire and ice, Kain probably would have scorched Aidou into ash. Instead, they had tussled on the ground until little Ruka dumped a bucket of water on them.

Even at such a young age, Kain had been shocked by the rage he had felt boiling in his chest at the mere thought of Aidou kissing Ruka.

This was something very few people knew about him. Yes, Kain was calm and patient, but when he did get angry, he exploded like a spark on dynamite.

The cousins didn't speak for a week after that, until another day in the sandbox when they decided it was time to have a serious discussion. Kain agreed not to ever tell on Aidou any time he got into trouble, and Aidou agreed to never touch Ruka. Like two little experienced diplomats debating a treaty, they determined that Aidou would have to be able to touch Ruka every once in awhile. So came to be the "two minute rule." He couldn't touch her for longer than two minutes.

Such a silly childish rule, but Kain had never gone back on their pact, and it prevented Ruka from ever coming between them.

The two dancing figures turned and Kain glared at his cousin's back. What game was this? Some ridiculous attempt to get a rise out of him? If so, it was working.

He began to count down from ten. If Aidou didn't separate from her in ten seconds he was going to go over there and remove him.

Some time between three and two, Kain caught sight of Ruka's face over his cousin's shoulder. She was smiling. Not the forced smile that she displayed to her parents and other guests, but a genuine curve of her mouth that lit up her eyes and made her impossibly more beautiful. Then she looked directly at him and their eyes met.

At that moment, all he wanted to do was walk over there and take her in his arms. He wanted to brush strands of hair away from her cheek and pull her body up against his. He wanted to bend his head down until their lips met and let is hand wander down her back. He wanted to part those soft lips with his tongue and explore the taste of her.

Kain barely contained a groan and leaned back against a pillar, grinding his head into the marble. He swallowed thickly in an attempt to force down an overpowering desire that caused a heavy thickening in his groin.

God, what was wrong with him? She was across the room, and he still felt like he could barely control himself.

With legs that felt like lead, he somehow managed to turn and walk away, just in time to catch Kaname lift a hand and motion for him to come to where he was standing with Yuuki.

Aidou was only dancing with her. _Only dancing._ He repeated it to himself as he went to hear Kaname's orders.

He had to practically push other vampires aside as he weaved through people to get to the pureblood couple. The vampire nobles were like vultures, each fighting for a piece of the new pureblood princess. It had been difficult for Yuuki to settle into this new life, but she held herself sturdy throughout the onslaught of imposing questions by the other guests.

It wasn't until he was standing next to the couple, that Kain noticed the way she was clinging onto Kaname's hand.

Kaname bent his head to speak into Kain's ear. "I have to go speak with the new elders. Stay with Yuuki until I return."

The new elders consisted of the most established and respected vampire's who had not been part of the council, including Aidou's father. No doubt, some would be difficult to convince that peace with the vampire hunters was a worthwhile goal.

Kain understood why Kaname didn't want Yuuki to be there to hear the atrocious comments they would make about humans. But his heart wasn't in it as he stood with Yuuki, making sure that none of the nearby guests had ulterior motives.

Instead his gaze wandered over the sea of noble guests, trying to catch another glimpse of the only vampire that was truly important to him. She wasn't where she had been dancing with Aidou. Where had she disappeared to?

"Kain-sempai," Yuuki's fingers wrapped around his sleeve as she smiled up at him innocently. "Thank you for staying with me."

The poor girl looked incredibly nervous, and he would never be forgiven if he left Kaname's most precious possession alone and surrounded by bloodthirsty nobles.

"Of course, Yuuki-sama." He nodded and stood confidently even though inwardly he felt defeated. Ruka was an independent woman and could easily take care of herself. For now he would follow orders and stay with the pureblood princess.

Later he would find her again. Later he would have to suppress his never ending desires.

* * *

**I don't usually go back in time and retell from other perspectives, but I felt like I had to get into Kain's head a bit before I could move forward. The next chapters have more plot, I promise. **

**Anyways, hopefully this chapter didn't bore you? Let me know your thoughts.**


	3. The Coccoon

**Thank you for so many wonderful reviews! Please keep them coming. They make my day!**

**There is a character in this chapter that is shamelessly based off a character in Nana. This isn't a crossover fic and you don't need to have watched Nana to read this. It's just a little cameo. Plus I always thought he would make a good vampire.**

**Disclaimer: If you're paying for this, then you don't know how to internet.**

* * *

The music shook the car with driving bass beats that caused vibrations even through the dark leather upholstery.

Ruka sat stiffly in the back of the limo and sucked in her stomach so she wouldn't rip her dress. Despite her better judgment, she had followed Aidou out the back door of the ballroom. It wasn't until she found herself sitting in the back of this limousine with a very suspicious crew, that she really began to worry.

There were four other vampires sitting in the car including Aidou, who had a blond vampire in a little black cocktail dress hanging onto his arm. Despite her young appearance, her green eyes gave away an age that could only come with very adult experience. Those green eyes were looking Ruka up and down, from the bottom of her purple silk gown to her white gloved hands folded tightly in her lap.

"Aidou, I don't understand why you brought _her _along." The girl's voice revealed an obvious distaste at Ruka's presence.

Ruka gave a practiced look of boredom and uninterest, but felt herself trying to sink farther into her seat.

Aidou looked up from where he had been fishing out a bottle of champaign from an ice bucket. He glanced at the blond next to him and then to Ruka. "You don't have to worry about her. She's practically my sister."

The blond pouted prettily and held out a glass so Aidou could fill it with champaign.

Ruka recognized the other girl sitting across from her, a daughter of one of the less established families named Chihiro. They were roughly the same age and had both attended social gatherings as children. Chihiro was a member of one of the vampire families Ruka's mother referred to as "commoners." According to her mother, she was unfit company for a member of the Souen family, and therefore an unacceptable playmate for little Ruka.

Now, Ruka was the one who felt unacceptable. Chihiro looked like a fun loving party-girl. She fit into the setting perfectly in tight jeans and a sparkly shirt that displayed a flat midriff. The boy sitting next to her looked equally stylish even though he appeared to be very young. He had spiky white hair and his lower lip was pierced with a silver loop. Ruka's eyes widened as she noticed the loop had a silver chain going through it and connected to another loop pierced through the top of his ear.

In order to stop herself from staring, Ruka looked down and absentmindedly straightened the layers of violet silk that covered her legs. She felt incredibly out of place and made sure to cover the vulnerable feeling with a haughty air. Why hadn't Aidou told her she should change clothes? She was obviously far too dressed up for wherever they were going. At least the other two vampires were polite enough not to comment about her being there.

"Ruka, here take this."

Surprised that somebody was speaking to her, she glanced up to notice Aidou holding out a glass of champaign expectantly.

She gave him her best admonishing look. "You know I don't drink, Hanabusa."

The boy with the lip piercing folded his arms. "She's not gonna say anything about where we're going is she?"

Everyone in the car stopped what they were doing and stared at her, all concerned that she would ruin their night of fun.

"Nah, Shinichi, she's cool." Aidou said as he downed the glass of champaign in his hand. "She can keep a secret. Can't you, Ruka?"

"Of course I can." Even though this was not her normal setting, Ruka wasn't about to let Aidou show her up. If nothing else, she was determined to save face, no matter how uncomfortable or shocked she felt.

The vampire, who she now knew was named Shinichi, shrugged nonchalantly and bent his head to nuzzle Chihiro's neck.

"Aidou," Ruka leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "How old is he? He looks like he's no more than fourteen."

Aidou gave a suspiciously nervous laugh. "Yeah he does doesn't he? Ya know, Ruka, you should really have a drink, you look pretty tense."

"I'm quite fine, thank you."

Ruka didn't want to draw any more unwanted attention to herself, so she sat back and looked out the dark window, wishing she could disappear. People like this could never understand her. She simply hadn't been raised like them. While other children had been playing in playgrounds, she had been inside studying French. While other girls had been going to school dances with boyfriends, she had been attending social dinners, practicing etiquette and taking lessons in politics from her father.

Ruka became a woman before she ever had the chance to become a child. It was possibly why she had been immediately attracted to Kaname. The sad look of a life without a childhood reflected in his dark eyes as well. Not even Aidou and Kain had seemed to understand. Their parents had at least given them more freedom to do as they pleased.

Ruka looked at her reflection on the glass of the dark car window. Pale cheeks and tired eyes set over a bored face. Her mother was right, she should be wearing more make-up than this. She should really try to make her parents happy since they were obviously so disappointed in her. She made a mental note to follow her mother's advice and watch what she ate for the next few weeks.

The sound of the car door opening, abruptly brought her out of her thoughts. Ruka picked her purse up off the seat next to her and lifted her skirt so it wouldn't get dirty as she stepped out of the car. Chihiro and Shinichi walked arm in arm. Aidou and the blond walked not far behind them. Ruka followed them all alone.

They were in the middle of town, yet the streets looked deserted, with only soft street lights to reveal the empty road. It had rained earlier that night and Ruka took special care to watch for mud puddles as she followed the vampire couples.

When they turned down a dark alley she hesitated. "Where is it exactly that we're going?"

Aidou paused. "It's just around the corner."

Ruka stood perfectly still, unsure of what to do. This didn't seem like a very good idea.

They all stopped and and turned to look back at her. The blond looked at her with disgust, Shinichi with disinterest, and Chihiro had a look of none other than pity.

Aidou took off his suit jacket and swung it over his shoulder. "Hey guys, why don't you go ahead of me? We'll catch up in a minute."

"But Aidou," the blond let out a high pitched whine. "You promised we'd have fun tonight."

Aidou whispered something in her ear. The girl giggled and then winked at him before turning to walk away with a swing in her hips that was obviously practiced to show off her well rounded behind.

Aidou stood staring after her lecherously as if he had forgotten Ruka was there.

Ruka couldn't take it anymore. She punched him in the arm as hard as she could.

"Ouch! What was that for?"

"Your disgusting."

"Yeah, well at least I'm not a prude."

"Oh," Ruka dramatically gasped at the insult. "I'm not a prude and I don't have anything to prove to you. I'm leaving."

She turned swiftly and began walking away. Ignoring Aidou as he ran after her trying to cut her off.

"C'mon Ruka, you promised you'd come out for an hour and a half. It hasn't even been twenty minutes yet."

She kept walking.

"What are you going to do? Walk home?" he persisted.

Still, she ignored him.

"I know. You're scared aren't you?"

That stopped her. "I may be disgusted and disappointed in you. But I am certainly _not _scared."

"Yes you are. You're scared that nobody will like you."

"I am not."

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm..." She stopped before she repeated herself then let out a sigh. "This is childish, isn't it?"

Aidou smiled a bit. "Yeah, but we haven't fought since we were kids. I kinda like getting the old Ruka back."

"Yes, but we're too old for this now." Somebody had to be the adult here.

"Absolutely, so are you coming with me or not?"

Ruka sighed in defeat, his taunts worked and now she had to prove to him that nothing so ridiculous could scare her. "Yes, but only for a little while."

"Yeah I got it, an hour and a half. Just like you promised." He seemed determined to remind her.

As she reluctantly walked with him towards the back alley, Ruka started to worry about what would happen once they got wherever it was they were going.

"When we get there you're going to ditch me to go do whatever it is you plan to do with that other girl, aren't you."

"No, I'm going to keep an eye on you because if I don't, my cousin will kill me."

Ruka couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah right, Akatsuki is always so calm. He would never lose his temper."

Aidou lifted an eyebrow. "You may not know him as well as you think you do."

As they walked down the darkened alley, Ruka was distracted by Aidou's statement. She thought she knew Kain fairly well considering they grew up together. Was there something Aidou knew about him that she didn't? Even though the two cousins were inseparable, Ruka doubted it.

Kain was just always...there. He was a nice guy, somebody she could always depend on. She knew he looked after her, but it was like the way a big brother would look after his little sister. It didn't mean anything...right?

For a reason that was somehow beyond her grasp, these thoughts bothered her. Kain was somebody who was steady and dependable in a world that could spontaneously turn upside down. She couldn't picture him being angry or sad, or being very emotional at all really. His level-headed attitude was something she had always admired and she liked to think that they both respected each other.

Ruka paused when they reached their destination. It wasn't through the dark alley, it was _in_ the dark alley. They stood in front of what appeared to be an abandoned door, except there was loud music coming from behind it and a large angry bouncer smoking a cigarette in front of it.

Aidou spoke to the bouncer as if he'd known him for years, he motioned back towards Ruka announcing that she was with him. Apparently this was all it took to get them inside, because before she could react, Ruka found herself standing inside the most lively, crowded, and somewhat sweaty, dance club she had ever seen.

The high ceilings and wooden floors gave off the impression that this was an abandoned warehouse. There was a large dance floor with so many people dancing she could hardly make out their moves. Techno music blared so loud it practically shook the floor. There was a bar that went all the way across the room. Behind it, display shelves of liquor covered the walls almost to the ceiling while bartenders and dishwashers busied themselves with serving drinks to customers.

Most people were wearing black or dark clothes. It must have been what was in fashion for people like this. The club was lit with black light, making every light colored piece of cloth stand out in contrast to the dark surroundings. She ignored the people who stared at her, knowing that her long violet dress stood out like a sore thumb.

Ruka instinctively breathed in to try to catch a questionable scent in the air. Humans and vampires were here and the place reeked of freshly spilled blood.

"C'mon we're headed through this way." Aidou had to yell over the crowds and the music.

"Hanabusa, what is this place?" She called back at him, as he took her by the wrist and weaved through the sea of people. "There are humans here and..." She trailed off, surprised at what she had been about to say while out in the open.

"They know." Aidou said over his shoulder.

"What?"

They had cleared through the most crowded area and walking towards several booths in the back. It was a little quieter back here and Ruka was thankful she wouldn't have to scream in order to be heard.

Aidou stopped to look at her. "I said they know." Then he grinned. "And they like it."

Ruka stood in shock, and it was then that she noticed that many of the booths had dark curtains so that people could have privacy behind them. It was from those booths that the distracting scent of blood was coming from.

Ruka's mind raced as the sweet scent flooded her nostrils. Nobody knew this about her, but she had never drank straight from a warm body, human or vampire. Her parents had told her that this was no longer acceptable according to the modern rules of vampire propriety. They wanted her to be virginal to whichever established vampire she acquired as a husband, preferably a pureblood. She had never told them about what had happened with Kaname, but she didn't doubt they would have been happy about it if they had learned of it.

Unfortunately, Ruka had been raised on tablets, and was completely unequipped to defend herself against such an onslaught of desirable sensations. Her mouth began to water as her fangs lengthened. As the room began to cover with a red haze she realized bloodlust was settling in, and she was completely unprepared for it.

Embarrassed at her display of lack of control. She quickly looked down to the floor.

"Yeah I know, It's hard to resist isn't it?" Aidou said with gentle understanding.

"I'm fine." Ruka insisted.

"Mmmhmm, okay well, just so you know, they have it by the glass here."

At this, Ruka couldn't help but give him an inquisitive look. The only places she had seen blood in a glass was at exclusive vampire gatherings. "They have that _here_?"

"Yeah" Aidou gestured to a booth several feet away. "See?"

Ruka glanced at the booth. It was apparently where they were heading, because there sat Chihiro, Shinichi, and the blond who was as yet unnamed. They seemed to be relaxed and enjoying the atmosphere and they each had a glass filled with red liquid.

Drinking blood from a glass was not something new to her, but Ruka had still very rarely drank the blood mixed with liquor that was served at the social gatherings of nobles. After all, she made a point to stay away from alcohol so as not to lose control.

But this time the temptation was irresistible. She watched as Shinichi lifted the red liquid to his moth, pressed the glass up against his pierced lip, and swallowed it down. Her throat dried and she tried to swallow as if she could somehow accomplish the same sensation from a distance.

She wanted it. Badly.

Aidou must have noticed the way she was staring, because he smiled at her and said, "I'll order you one as soon as we sit down."

She followed him as he began walking towards the booth, still mesmerized by the blood in the glass like a fly attracted to a bright light. Chihiro was tapping her finger against the rim of her glass and it wasn't until she stepped closer that Ruka noticed that the girl was watching her with another look of pity.

"Wait!" She stopped Aidou.

"Ruka, I thought you said you would stay for awhile." He pouted.

"No, I mean...yes. I'll stay. Just...where's the ladies room?"

"Oh, there's the dirty public one on the other side of the room. Or there's the private VIP one around the corner there."

Ruka walked in the direction Aidou had pointed towards the VIP restroom. When she rounded the corner, another bouncer stood in front of the bathroom door. Ruka gave him a look that said 'I dare you to try and stop me.'

He must have gotten the message, because he opened the door for her and she quickly stepped in and closed the latch, locking herself inside. The comforting silence engulfed her and the breeze from a small window cooled her heated skin.

This was crazy. Absolutely insane. She couldn't believe she found herself here, pondering drinking blood, from a glass..or from a person. She lifted her hand to cover her face in utter confusion. Why was it that everyone here could be so carefree? How could they enjoy themselves so frivolously? Why was she the only one trapped in a suffocating cage of backwards morality?

Her mind asked a million more questions as she stepped in front of a full length mirror. She looked ridiculous in her violet gown, like a little girl playing dress up for a costume party. No wonder people had stared and Chihiro had given her those looks of pity. Normally, Ruka was used to being admired for her feminine delicacy, but here she just looked pathetic.

Enough! She wasn't the type to mope and feel sorry for herself. No matter how much pressure her parents applied or how many times her heart was broken, she always kept her feet on the ground and pressed onward. If she wanted to have fun and wanted people to like her, then, by God, she was going to accomplish it.

Without a second thought, she ripped off her white gloves and reached into her purse, digging for any usable tool. When her hand closed around a nail file, she couldn't help but smile. Trust her well-bread feminine preparation to come in handy now.

With one quick strike, she stuck the file clear through the skirt of her dress and began slicing it through the silk fabric. It wasn't exactly the best tool for the job, but a little vampire strength could really be quite convenient at times.

Within seconds, she had cut along a seem, ruining a two-thousand dollar ball gown, just to transform it into a short cocktail dress. All it took was a few carefully removed extra strands of thread, and she was sure nobody would notice that this wasn't the dress's original purpose.

With an experienced eye, she assessed herself in the mirror. It was much better but something was still wrong. The hair dresser had spent two hours putting her hair into a perfect up-do, but it only took Ruka a few seconds to take it down. Light brown hair fell to her waist. Because of the curls that had been pressed created with hot rollers, her hair had extra waves and buoyancy, as if she had styled it this way on purpose. Then, as an afterthought, she took off her necklace and wrapped it around her ankle.

Now, she was prepared to have fun.

* * *

**Hehe, I had fun with this chapter even though I feel guilty for stereotyping the blonde chick...especially since my hair is blonde too...**

**Anyways, please tell me what you think! I LOVE your comments!**


	4. Vulnerable Butterfly

**Hehe, I thought this would be 3-4 chapters. Who am I kidding?**

**For those that are wondering, YES, this is a story about Ruka and Kain and they do end up getting together. Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later because I can't stand the wait either.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of its characters.**

**

* * *

  
**

The vampire noble party was dragging on and on and it seemed that some guests simply refused to leave. Kain hated these social gatherings, but he tolerated them none the less. It was simply part of his duty to attend, to obey Kaname's commands, to watch Yuuki, to protectively keep an eye on Ruka.

The guests were dwindling to a mere dozen. Some of the lights were turned off in the extra rooms and the hired staff had already begun to clear the refreshments. Where was Ruka? Sometime after he had seen her dancing with Aidou and before he was ordered to watch over Yuuki, he had lost track of her.

While still appearing to be completely relaxed and complying with Kaname's demands, he secretly turned his eyes to each corner of the room.

She wasn't there.

He told himself not to worry, that he was being ridiculous. She was almost always a mature and responsible person. Ruka could look after herself.

Still, there was a nagging sense of doubt in his mind. It was often triggered by disturbing memories, times when Ruka had not quite seemed herself.

The first time, of course, was when she had generously sacrificed her blood to Kaname, as if the pureblood was the only one who had to practice restraint when introduced to the vein of a loved one.

Kain's jaw still clenched and his heart still lurched when he remembered standing outside and listening to her moan as the pureblood sunk his fangs into her neck. He could still hear the sounds of her sighs as Kaname took down gluttonous gulps. That night she was used for a blood transfusion, as if she was merely a necessary food that could be so easily replaced.

It wasn't until that moment that Kain began to worry that, while she was attempting to be both generous and caring, she really did not have enough respect for herself. Still, what could he do? If he had stopped her, she would have fought him. If he had interrupted, she might have even hated him. Ruka had revealed her deep feelings for Kaname since they were children. It was what she had wanted that night and it wasn't his place to stop her.

After all, he understood the deep need to see happiness in the eyes of someone he held dear. He had thought it was something they had in common, that they were both fools, waiting with unrequited love.

He thought this until her later actions disturbed him yet again.

They had just finished eating with the rest of the night class, or at least everyone else ate. Ruka had refused. He remembered finding her sitting alone in a darkened room of the moon dorms. She was gazing out the window, staring at something nobody else could see.

He remembered it clearly because, although she had appeared to be relaxed on the outset, her hands had been tightened into fists, grasping the fabric of her skirt. The moonlight had reflected on the flawless lightly tanned skin of her cheek, and the rose color of her eyes had been grieved with an even deeper shade. He knew she had been hurt by Kaname's declaration that Yuuki was his lover, and the urge to hold her had never been so strong.

"Ruka, is something wrong?" he remembered asking softly.

She looked up at him, surprised to see him there, and it was then he immediately noticed that her eyes were not darker with grief. They were blood red from thirst.

She quickly looked back out the window, realizing instantly that he had caught it. Still she attempted to brush it off. "No. I'm fine. Just a little tired I guess."

Catching Ruka in a moment of vulnerability was so rare he could count the number of times he had seen it on one hand. He knew her so well, he sometimes wondered if he knew her better than she did herself.

Knowing that someone had caught her while her guard was down would deeply upset and embarrass her. So, he made sure to be casual about it as he reached into his pocket to open a tin and hand her a couple tablets.

"Here, take some of these."

She took the tablets from him, but didn't swallow them down. Instead she held them in her lap and gave a stiff but polite, "Thank you."

At that point, Kain didn't know if she was too proud to swallow the tablets and thereby admit that her bloodlust was out of control, or if she was suffering through the thirst as a form of punishing herself. Either way, he didn't like it.

He had casually leaned against the wall to gaze out the window with her. The two of them had known each other for so long, they could easily spend time together in blessed silence. And often, if he was patient, she would eventually reveal her inner feelings. So he had stood quietly, waiting for her to decide if there was something she wanted to say, and listening to the comforting sound of her soft heart beats and gentle breaths.

Finally, after standing there for what seemed like hours, he realized that she was not going to speak and the sound of her heart beating became a temptation rather than a lullaby. When he found himself wanting to reach out a hand to brush his fingers along her cheek, he stepped away from the wall and proceeded to walk out of the room.

"Akatsuki," she interrupted before he could step through the door.

He turned to find her looking at him with haunted red eyes, "Yes?"

"Do you think there's something more to life... than this?"

The question made his heart double in speed. What sort of question was this? He knew she was upset about Kaname's lack of attention and that she was blaming herself for it, but questions like these could have much deeper meanings. He tried to prevent the worry from showing on his face, but he didn't know how to respond.

"Ruka, I..."

"Oh never mind." she interrupted as she stood up from the window. "It was a ridiculous question. I really must be tired. I should just take these and go to bed."

He stared after her as she left the room and walked down the empty hallway, wondering if she was really as "fine" as she liked to appear to be. He had thought she was strong enough to withstand the heartbreak, but she had the high standards of a perfectionist and undoubtedly believed there was something wrong with herself.

Later he had heard the heart-wrenching sobs that came from behind her closed bedroom door, but he didn't go inside.

Now, Kain stood with Yuuki as she said her required farewells to the last of the guests. He stared at the closed door that Kaname had disappeared behind to go speak with the new elders.

He had warned the pureblood that if he ever made her unhappy, he would never forgive him, but he couldn't stop her from doing things she chose to do herself.

He sighed as he realized Kaname wouldn't be coming out any time soon. She was probably already in bed anyways. He would check on her later.

* * *

Ruka kicked the discarded purple fabric to a corner of the bathroom. Let somebody else try to figure out why there were hair pins and pieces of cloth scattered across the floor.

With a newfound sense of empowerment, she strode out the bathroom door and back into the crowded club. The bouncer, who guarded the VIP restroom with a sense of profound duty, looked at her twice then peeked into the restroom, as if wondering how one girl had gone in and another had come out.

Ruka laughed to herself. She certainly looked like a different woman. While previously the black lights in the club had made her gown look fake and ridiculous, the light now made her newly designed cocktail dress look like a sheen satin. The violet dress and little silver stilettos gave her an entirely new ethereal glow.

Aidou's jaw dropped as she walked back towards the crew and slid into the booth. "What happened to your dress?"

Ruka lifted an eyebrow and gave him a challenging look. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"Ummmm," he shifted uncomfortably, "It's just that...I mean...Aren't you showing a lot of leg?"

At this, Ruka couldn't help but laugh. "Why Aidou, I do believe you like this dress."

His face reddened and he mumbled something that sounded like 'my cousin is going to kill me,' but Ruka ignored him. She had finally decided she could be free for at least one night, and she wasn't about to let him spoil it for her. He was being ridiculous anyways. Akatsuki wouldn't care.

"I think it looks cool, Ruka-chan." Chihiro smiled at her. "I like what you did with your hair."

Despite her normal self-deprecation, Ruka felt herself warm at the compliment. "Thanks, I think yours looks cute too." And it did, Chihiro was sporting her black hair in a pair of adorable pigtails that gave her an endearingly childish look.

A cocktail waitress, dressed head to toe in black leather, brought them a round of drinks. Ruka eyed the red liquid in her glass and hesitated for a mere millisecond before recklessly taking down a large gulp.

The thick liquid sank down her throat, leaving an after-burn that could only come with a heavy dose of strong alcohol. Ruka tried not to look like a fool, but she couldn't help but let out a cough.

When the others looked at her she asked, "Whats in this?" Then took another large swallow. The alcohol was strong, but the blood in the drink was impossible for her vampire nature to resist.

"Uhhh, Ruka." Aidou seemed to be getting more uncomfortable by the minute. "Maybe you should go easy on that stuff."

Ruka glared back at him and defiantly took another drink.

"Jeez lay off, Aidou!" Chihiro immediately came to her defense. "It's obvious that you and your boring cousin suffocate her with over-protectiveness. Just let the girl have fun for once!"

Ruka smiled at her newfound friend. "Thanks, Chihiro-chan."

The night proceeded with more drinks and Ruka found herself having more fun than she had ever had in her entire life, and that wasn't saying much, since she couldn't even remember the last time she had really let loose.

She spent most of the night getting to know Chihiro, while Shinichi sat with his arms folded, obviously annoyed that he wasn't getting any attention from his girlfriend. The blond continued to glare at her with jealous green eyes from across the table, but Ruka didn't let it bother her. In fact, she started to find herself being amused by the obvious jealousy more than anything else.

A couple more drinks, and she hardly noticed that she was speaking louder, laughing more, or possibly even slurring her speech. Nobody else seemed to notice either, as they were all under the same euphoric effects of alcohol. Eventually, her foggy brain took in the fact that Aidou was practically making out with the blond across the table.

Chihiro was leaning on her shoulder, emotionally revealing that she had always thought Ruka was the coolest vampire at all of the noble gatherings.

When Ruka finally stood up to announce she was going to use the ladies room again, the club seemed to spin and the floor swayed underneath her feet. She quickly placed a steadying hand on the table and was glad nobody seemed to notice her brief faux pas.

But, as she made her way back towards the restroom, her worry began to grow. Maybe Aidou was right. She probably should have taken it easy on those drinks. After all, she really didn't have any experience with alcohol, but the blood mixed in definitely made it a dangerous temptation.

The small restroom closed in around her as she stepped inside. It seemed to spin in circles but she was sure she was standing still. She turned on the faucet and used her hands to bring water to her mouth and gulp it down. A few more sips and the room steadied.

She was surprised to notice that despite all the blood she had drank from the glass, her eyes were still red. Maybe the mixture of blood with alcohol diluted it to the point that it was less effective. Or maybe the fact that the entire club smelled richly of blood made thirst impossible to suppress. Whatever it was, her fangs were still elongated behind her lips and her throat felt impossibly dry.

She brushed it off. It was nothing a few blood tablets couldn't cure, and she wasn't about to let this embarrassing bloodlust ruin her night.

Despite the way she had regained her composure in the restroom, she stumbled as she walked back out into the club, bumping into a man who had been leaning against a wall nearby.

He reached out with strong hands that wrapped around her upper arms. "Hey, watch your step. Are you okay?"

Ruka straightened with embarrassment. What kind of powerful noble vampire was she, that she could almost fall on her face after only a few drinks?

"I'm fine. Sorry."

"Hey, its no problem. It's not everyday that a guy like me has a pretty girl like yourself falling at his feet."

Ruka smiled with self amused relief and assessed the human in front of her. He seemed like a regular guy. There was nothing particularly unusual or suspicious about him. He was wearing a white shirt and black slacks and he had dark brown hair that slightly covered his ears. If there was anything different about his features, it was his pitch black eyes that very nearly portrayed ulterior motives.

But she was surely being paranoid, there was nothing a human could do that would hurt a noble vampire.

"Mind if I buy you a drink?" he asked.

"Hmmmm, no thanks." Ruka replied, then added. "Maybe later, but I should meet back up with my friends now." She didn't want to be rude.

He pointed across the room. "Are those your friends?"

Ruka noticed he was pointing at where Aidou and the others were sitting. Apparently, leaving the table had been a bad idea because now Aidou was not the only one engaged in public displays of affection, Chihiro and Shinichi were practically making out as well.

Ruka blushed, "Unfortunately, they are."

"C'mon there's no one sitting at that booth over there, sit down, I'll go to the bar and grab us a couple drinks."

He then disappeared in the crowd, heading towards the bar.

Ruka eyed the empty booth. Should she really do this? What else was she going to do? Sit with the other two couples while they would obviously rather be with each other? That didn't sound very appealing. Besides, this guy was a human. A _human_. She reminded herself. No matter how much larger he was, she could easily out maneuver him, and she was most certainly stronger than him. Also, he seemed to just genuinely want to have a drink with her. What harm could possibly come from it?

Without another thought, she sat down at the booth and only had to wait a few minutes before he returned with two glasses filled with red liquid.

She reached out for the glass in his right hand.

"Ah, ah ,ah," he pulled the drink away, then held out the glass in his left. "This one's yours."

Ruka raised an eyebrow. What difference did it make?

"Mine has tomato juice." He said in explanation to her inquisitive look.

"Of course." She felt stupid for worrying.

Time flew by, as she sat back, sipping her drink and getting to know this very ordinary human. He said he was a photographer from out of town and was here for a photo-shoot for some new magazine. She even found herself talking about her parents a little bit, something she almost never did, revealing that sometimes she just couldn't stand her mother.

When he put a hand on her thigh, she crossed her legs so it slipped away and pretended not to notice. It couldn't be _that_ difficult to get the hint.

About half way through her drink, the walls around her seemed somewhat darker than before and it was a little harder to concentrate on the words he was saying. Surely that was just another effect of the alcohol.

As her vision began to blur and her muscles became more and more sedated, it became more difficult to keep her eyelids from closing.

When she took a final swallow and no longer had the strength to lift her glass, through her cloudy mind she wondered when he had closed the curtains so nobody could see inside.

* * *

**Okay, this could get a little angsty, but it's probably not what you're thinking! I don't want to spoil anything, so I guess you will just have to trust me.**

**Also, I had a little trouble with this chapter so please let me know what you think. I'd really appreciate it.**


	5. Suspension

**When I read the last few chapters I feel like this is moving along to slowly. If I were to go back and edit I would probably do something drastic like delete an entire chapter...Oh well, I guess I'll leave it as it is.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of its characters.**

* * *

Feeling like some sort of obsessive stalker, Kain couldn't help but check to see if Ruka was in her room. It wasn't like he had to see her every minute of every day, but disappearances like this were rare for her. Ruka maintained a regimented schedule and very rarely broke away from her habitual daily activities.

When he found her room to be dark and empty, he told himself that nagging sense of worry was just him being over protective. But as he continued to search the empty rooms, the bad feeling worsened.

Upon turning the corner in the direction of the library, he came upon the two purebloods, walking towards him with a grace that could have come with royalty.

"Kain," Kaname stopped him as he had been about to pass. "Thank you for watching Yuuki in my absence."

Kain simply nodded in reply, then looked down to Yuuki. "Did Ruka's parents leave?"

"Yes, I said goodbye to them over an hour ago." She replied.

Kain frowned. He had begun considering that she might have left with them, even though he was sure she would have said goodbye before she left.

"Is there something bothering you?" Yuuki asked with innocent concern.

He tried to appear casual as he told them that Ruka had disappeared.

"I noticed that Aidou seems to have disappeared as well." Kaname said with dark all-knowing eyes. "Perhaps you know where he went?"

Kain didn't fall for it. He was well aware that Kaname knew exactly which places Aidou frequented during later hours. The pureblood always seemed to find sadistic amusement out of putting his subjects on the spot. Kain supposed that was the least harm he could do, considering the pureblood had the power to use mind control on them the way he had done to the council.

But right now, it was damn annoying.

Kain's jaw twitched. "Yes, I could probably figure it out." he evaded. Kaname knew Kain wouldn't rat out his cousin and he definitely was not going to have this conversation in front of Yuuki.

"You don't suppose they left together?" Kaname suggested.

"No, she wouldn't leave with him." Yes, Kain had considered the possibility, but he had immediately brushed it off. Doing something like that would be too uncharacteristic of her.

"Hmmm," Kaname looked him directly in the eye, with a silent communication. "I wonder if that's true."

Fucking hell. She _did_ leave with him. It was hard to believe, but Kaname was all but spelling it out for him, and the pureblood seemed to have a way of knowing everything.

Kain's mind raced. Whenever his cousin had gotten into mischief, he had stood by and allowed it to happen, and whenever somebody asked, he never revealed anything Aidou had ever done, but this was taking it too far.

That impulsive, reckless idiot!

He didn't have time to stand around and be angry. As he all but ran out the door, he swore to himself that if anybody had so much as laid a finger on her, his cousin would deeply regret it.

* * *

His breath had the repulsive scent of chewing tobacco, and each time he breathed heavily against her ear moist condensation stuck to her skin. Through her blackened mind she had the sense that each bone in her body weighed a hundred pounds, yet somehow she was impossibly floating, vaguely aware, yet uncomfortably detached from her body's sensations.

Ruka tried to get her bearings, some reality in a dream world that was not responding. The room she was in was pitch black.

No, that wasn't right. Her eyes were closed.

Sharp pain shot through her forehead as she struggled to lift her eyelids, revealing slits of blinding light. There was someone with her, suffocating her, touching her. A large sweaty palm was squeezing her inner thigh and the sound of a crowd was somewhere off in the distance, while music pounded from the ground.

He was speaking to her and she desperately latched onto the words. "C'mon, baby, I bought you that drink, now its time for you to pay me back."

She squinted and furrowed her brow. The figure in front of her was dark and unfamiliar, merely a blurry vision of dark hair and black eyes. Confusion mixed with traces of anxiety made her insides shake. He was somebody she met, the ordinary human who had seemed so harmless.

As if looking upon herself from a distance, her mind registered that he was putting his hands underneath the short skirt of her dress, pinching and pulling at her exposed flesh.

"My, my, You deserve whats coming to you for wearing this slutty little number."

The words from that unfamiliar voice made no sense and the sound mixed distractingly with the sound of the crowd. Pieces of conversations and laughter filtered through in distorted waves. There were so many people that were so close by, yet they were all oblivious to what was happening in the enclosed booth nearby.

He roughly grabbed a handful of her hair and jerked her head so her nose was inches from his face. "That's right babe, I want you right here with me. That's the wonderful thing about you vampires. Such a heavy sedative but you're still awake and watching everything I'm doing to you." He bellowed a laugh as if he had told a hilarious joke.

Reality snapped as she seemed to fall forcefully back into herself. He had _drugged_ her. It must have been something in the drink.

"Bastard." Her sluggish tongue struggled with the word and it came out in a barely audible slur.

This only made him laugh more and she struggled to fight him off, but her attempts were nothing but pathetic as the drug made her reaction time delayed to the point of being completely ineffective. She had finally realized the predicament she was in, but to her terror, that realization had come far too late.

* * *

Kaname had ordered a car and driver to escort Kain to bring back the escaped nobles, but Kain wasn't about to sit in the back while somebody else drove at a snail's pace. When the driver had tried to insist it was his job, Kain simply grabbed him by the collar and removed him, before sliding into the driver's seat.

The black sedan sped down the drive that was shaded by a forest of dark trees disguising the location of the hidden mansion. He cursed when he pulled out onto the street as orange rays filled the car with the light of dawn. What the hell was Aidou thinking keeping her out this late!

Unfortunately, from a thousand observations of his cousin, he knew that Aidou simply hadn't been thinking at all. Since they had left the academy, Kain had been thankful that watching his cousin's every move was no longer one of Kaname's requirements. The playboy was no longer a threat to wandering day class girls, but that didn't mean he could move on to corrupting vampires.

And the places he went to at night! Kain's foot stepped harder on the gas at the thought of Ruka in that dark and dangerous club.

Yeah, he had gone there once or twice. A couple of times after he had spent hours staring at Ruka's neck fighting persistent bloodlust and arousal. Hell, he was a vampire and he was a male. The pureblood wasn't the only one who sought a replacement when the urge became too strong to resist. And the club was littered with ready and willing blood donors.

But _she_ did not belong there. She was too innocent, too sweet, too delicate. In a place like that, even as a vampire, a girl like Ruka could still be in danger.

His heart sank to his stomach with the thought, and rather than parking at the end of the alley, he made a sharp turn and sped right through it, ignoring garbage and debris that the car trampled and left scattered across the street in its wake.

The wheels screeched as he slammed on the breaks, stopping just feet away from the shady club door.

The bouncer immediately moved in front of him as Kain stepped out of the car and slammed the door. "Sir! You can't park there!"

Kain ignored him, shoving the heavy bouncer aside as if he weighed no more than a few pounds. The man spouted obscenities at his back as Kain entered the club.

Dark black lights strongly contrasted with the glaring sun outside, but in a black tuxedo he easily blended in. The scent of blood that normally caused the swift onset of bloodlust now only seemed putrid and filled him with both fear and disgust.

He shouldered people aside, both humans and vampires alike, as he purposefully advanced to the back of the club. At one of the booths, he caught the site of his cousin's blond head buried in the neck of one of the other vampires who had been at the mansion.

Kain didn't hesitate. He grabbed Aidou by the shoulder, yanking his fangs out of the girl's neck and slamming his back against the leather booth. "Where is she?"

Aidou's blue eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Akatsuki! What are you doing here?" He stalled as used his sleeve to remove a drop of blood from his chin.

At that moment, Kain wanted nothing more than to throw a punch that knocked Aidou's teeth to the back of his skull, but his concern for Ruka was too prominent. First, he needed to find her.

"Don't fuck with me, Hanabusa." His voice was calm but he knew his eyes were glowing with bright red anger.

Aidou nervously glanced at the empty seat across from him. "She was just here a second ago."

Kain covered his face with his hand struggling to keep himself from exploding. _Find her first._ He told himself. _Then you can burn this place to the ground._

His hand fell to his chin as he took in the large open club and swarming crowds. He breathed in the scents in the air, attempting to isolate them one by one.

It was impossible. The stench of blood overwhelmed everything else.

Exuding a patience on the outside that was completely different from his inner tumult, his eyes searched efficiently over every dark corner of the bar.

"Help me find her." He commanded to his cousin before turning to proceed with a thorough search.

**

* * *

**

**oooo, I am evil! Muahahaha**

**but I'm probably totally leading you in the wrong direction...I promise I will try to update within the next 24hrs.**

* * *


	6. Failed Disassociation

**I think this chapter just might be my favorite so far. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of its characters.**

* * *

Ruka was in a living nightmare that had somehow come of her own creation. Here she was, a powerful noble vampire, lying helpless and drugged as a sweating man laid on top of her. His hand was still in her hair, straining her neck and forcing her head back and she could feel his hand between their pressed bodies, fumbling with the fastenings at the front of his pants.

God, was this really happening? Was she really this weak vampire becoming the victimized prey of a perverted human?

Her eyes closed as the lurking drug effects offered the temptation of disassociation. She could let her mind drift away, back to that distant dream world, floating just beyond the painful present. She could wander in delirium, allow herself to become comfortably numb to the inflicted torture. The consequences could come later...

His groping hand tugged at the fabric of her underwear and reality slapped her in the face.

No! She couldn't let this happen! To fight and lose would be better than not to fight at all. Her body laid pliantly but her mind panicked as her eyes widened. She strained against the hand pulling her hair, struggling to look around her for any possible weapon.

Out of the corner of her eye she caught site of her small violet purse, lying partially open. Some of the contents had fallen out during her useless physical struggles.

But the handle of her nail file was just a few inches from her right hand.

Ruka forced herself to lie still and let him move her knees apart as if she was helplessly unaware of what was happening. Meanwhile, her hand slowly moved those few inches and her fingers closed around the file's plastic handle.

Her muscles felt like jello, but inside, icy adrenaline rushed through her veins. If she could focus her mind and all of her energy into one swift jab, maybe she could at least stall him for time.

She took a deep focusing breath, while moist air from his panting brushed her cheek as he excitedly positioned himself between her legs.

Ruka screamed as she used every ounce of vampire strength to create one powerful thrust, slicing the metal file through the supple skin of his throat.

* * *

Kain stopped dead in his tracks when he heard that blood-curdling scream. There was no time for fear, only reaction and with inhuman speed, he was instantly there, yanking open the certain of the enclosed booth.

The thick scent of blood permeated the air and his breath left him in a rush before his brain analyzed that the blood was not Ruka's. Instead, it was coming from the male human body lying next to her. The tiny makeshift room was almost entirely red with wet, freshly spilt blood. The thick red substance poured in currents over pink cartilage at the human's jugular. In a flash, Kain noted the bloody metal file lying next to the man's head as gurgling sounds bubbled from the ripped opening in his throat. The man's pants lay at his feet while his partially flaccid penis laid disgustingly exposed on his thigh.

"Christ." The word escaped under Kain's breath as the human body jerked in short spasms, then stilled.

Ruka was a statue on the other end of the booth She was half-way sitting, her face was stark white, and her breath was wheezing in unnaturally short, quick pants. Her violet dress was specked with blood and her rose colored eyes were staring in utter horror at the bloody figure next to her.

Kain's mind seemed to click and he went into automated action. Her hand was entirely red but the blood wasn't her own and the dark purple bruises on her thighs were already healing. Physically, she appeared to be uninjured. Emotionally, she seemed eerily unstable.

He quickly grabbed a napkin off the table, using it to pick up the bloody file and put it in Ruka's purse, then snatched the feminine underwear laying on the booth next to her stuffing that in as well. There was just enough time for one quick glance under the table to make sure he had all of her things. He needed to get her out of there before others caught sight of what had just happened.

Ruka sat still the entire time, with her rose colored eyes still vacant and staring. She hadn't seemed to register that he was even there.

He moved slowly so as not to startle her, bending down to slide a hand behind her tiny waist. Strands of her long brown hair were damp with sweat against her cheeks and she felt cold through the thin silk material of her dress.

"Ruka." He spoke her name softly in an attempt to get her attention.

She finally took in his presence and looked up at him, with widened innocent eyes that darkly contrasted against her pale skin. "Akatsuki?" Her voice sounded in a childish whisper.

If the situation hadn't been so dire, he could have kneeled and wept for her, but there was no time for him to indulge his breaking heart. Instead he continued to speak to her softly, trying to keep her calm.

"Put your arms around my neck. We have to leave."

He didn't need her to put her arms around his neck to carry her out of there, but he wanted her to show that she knew he was about to lift her. In her current state, he was worried that he could accidentally induce a complete breakdown. The last thing he wanted to do was frighten her even further.

"Oh," she frowned in confusion. "I should get my things."

His chest tightened painfully as Ruka spoke as if they were about to leave a dinner party. It was too much. She was innocently confused and in a state of total shock, completely displacing herself from reality and he could no longer stand the thought of her spending another second near the grotesque scene of assault and death.

"Time to go," he said to himself as he slid his other arm under her knees and effortlessly lifted her out of the booth.

He was grateful that she didn't panic, and simply lied limply in his arms as he carried her toward the exit. There wasn't time to look for Aidou. A few stragglers had stopped, alerted at the sound of Ruka's original scream. It was only a matter of time before somebody would curiously pull the curtain aside to peak into the darkened booth.

Kain moved quickly, making it to the exit door just as he heard someone yell at him from behind. He stepped outside into the now blaring sunlight, holding her frail body tightly in his arms. The car was still there, and at the sound of commotion coming from within the club, the bouncer hurried back inside.

Jesus, he had to get them away from here, before anybody found them out. He ran around the hood to the passengers side and gently slid her to her feet. With one arm he held her against the car as she swayed back and forth, with the other he reached into his pocket for the keys.

"Akatsuki, I'm going to..."

He caught her just in time as she fell over his forearm and retched in the alley. With required efficiency, he supported her through each spasm as he slid the key into the lock, and just as she finished a last dry heave, he opened the door, picked her up and put her in the seat.

The door to the club opened just as he got in the driver's seat but he didn't look back as he put the key in the ignition then stepped on the gas. Ruka whimpered softly as the car swerved and sped along the streets. The sound tore at his insides, but at the moment, there was nothing he could do.

Minutes passed, and their distance from the club lengthened with each passing second. Kain kept one eye on Ruka and one eye on the road at all times. She was leaning weakly against the passenger door, with her forehead pressed against the glass of the car window. Wavy hair draped over her cheek, hiding her face from his vision.

What the hell had happened to her dress? It looked entirely different, yet he recognized it instantly. What had once been a long formal gown, was now an incredibly short skirt. He felt disgusted with himself for noticing that it was hiked up clear to her waist, revealing her long slim thighs.

He used his knee to guide the steering wheel so he could lean forward from the driver's seat and remove his tuxedo jacket.

"Here, cover yourself with this." He held it out for her.

She turned to look at him, but he kept his eyes on the road as she silently took the jacket and draped it across her shoulders.

As they made it farther and farther away, the adrenaline rush of their escape eventually subsided. The car was engulfed with pressing silence, and the scene in the club began to sink in. His hands tightened on the steering wheel as the image of the half naked man flashed in his mind. What the hell had just happened to her? How could a human get so close to hurting her that she had to resort to violence? Did she want to at first? Did he use something to coerce her?

Did he succeed?

The question burned in his mind but he had to admit that it probably didn't matter. The damage was done, and sweet, innocent Ruka would be entirely different from before. His heart ached for her and his mind fueled with rage, but right now, he helplessly realized, there was nothing he could do.

God, what was he supposed to say at a time like this? She seemed so frail, more delicate than she had ever appeared before, yet he felt that if he offered kind words she wouldn't want to hear them. Plus, any words offered in condolence would merely seem superficial, and there were no words he could think of to express how deeply tormented he felt.

She shivered slightly before leaning forward to cover her face with her hands.

"Are you going to be sick again?" He didn't want to stop, but he could pull over if he had to.

"No..just..could you open a window?"

He pushed a button between them, and the automated passenger window slid down all the way.

"Thank you." She said politely, and leaned back to let the breeze brush her face.

Out of the corner of his eye, he continued to watch her. After all, he had become quite skilled at it in the passing years. The breeze from the window lifted her hair away from her face and with her eyes closed she seemed almost peaceful despite the night's traumatic events. He took in her long dark lashes resting on soft pale cheeks. Her lips looked full and pliant in a slight pout, and he imagined what they would feel like, pressed against his mouth.

When he realized the direction his mind was headed, he called himself every offensive name he could think of. What kind of sick bastard was he to think of her that way at a time like this?

With a skill that only came from stringent practice, he focused on driving and forced his mind on the road in front of him for the rest of the short trip.

The car slowed as he steered down the driveway and into the underground garage. At least they had this hideout. If it was effective at hiding Yuuki, it would be effective at hiding Ruka as well. Only other nobles were aware of it, and if the vampire hunters learned of what had just happened, they wouldn't be able to find her.

With a turn of the key the engine died, and the resulting silence surrounded them like a dense cloud.

She wasn't crying and she hadn't gone into hysterics. She just sat there still looking out the window even though there was nothing there but the inside of the garage. Somehow here breath was even and his sensitive ears picked up her steady heartbeat.

"Ruka..."

"Don't" she interrupted. "Don't say anything, please."

Kain let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, still uncomfortable but slightly grateful that she didn't want to speak. His mind went blank as he continued to simply perform actions that were required. _Stay calm. Get her to bed. _He commanded himself as he got out of the car and walked around to open her door.

When he offered his hand to help her out, she took it but clumsily fell against his chest when she stood. The jacket he had given her fell off her shoulders and she stumbled as if she couldn't even control her own movements.

"How much did you have to drink?"

He completely supported her weight as she leaned her head against him and spoke into the white fabric of his shirt. "He drugged me."

Kain isolated her muffled words one by one. That at least explained how the human had gotten so close, but he was surprised to learn that a drug had worked on a vampire. The bastard must have given her a lot. It was the only explanation.

"Okay, hang on to me." He told her as he lifted her again into his arms.

This time she wasn't quite as limp as before, and she covered her face with her hands as she turned her head towards his chest. It was as if she was trying to hide, but he didn't know who from. And all he could do was hold her tightly against him, as he carried her up the stairs, down the hall and to her bedroom door.

He stopped in front of it. "I'm going to put you down so I can open the door, okay?"

She nodded with her face still turned into his shirt, and he gently set her on her feet. She swayed for a second then leaned against the wall as he opened the door.

When he turned to pick her up again, she lifted a hand to stop him. "I can walk."

But it didn't look like she was capable of walking at all. Her body was propped up against the wall and her head was leaning back. With long hair flowing down her shoulders and her eyes closed, she looked as if she might fall asleep standing up.

But Kain knew this was killing her pride, and if she wanted to walk, then he was going to help her do it.

"Put your arm around my shoulders then." He told her.

She obeyed, wrapping her arm around him so she could lean against his side.

He flipped the light switch as they stumbled through the doorway. Her bedroom was the very essence of femininity. A full sized bed covered with a violet canopy set on top of the plush carpet. Next to it stood an antique vanity table and mirror with make up, brushes and hairpins organized into efficient compartments. The scent of lilac that she always carried with her filled the room. Normally he found the fragrance to be provocative, but now nothing could distract him from his ever-growing concern.

With slow progress they finally made it to the bed and she let go of him to grab the bedpost, propping herself up against it.

Ruka turned her back to him, and was gazing at the floor, while Kain stood awkwardly behind her at a complete loss for what to do. Her silhouette was framed by sunlight peeking out from the heavy drapes over a large bedroom window and everything about her seemed frail and small, from her loosely flowing hair down to the little silver stilettos on her feet.

"Thanks, I'll be fine now." She said in an attempt to dismiss him.

Still, he stood there. She wanted to be alone, but he couldn't simply leave. Something wasn't right. Hell, everything wasn't right, and he didn't know what he could possibly do to help her. But the one thing he felt to his very core, was that he couldn't leave her alone.

So, he stood in awkward silence, not moving and not speaking.

Ruka let out a sigh. "Fine, stay. I'm going to use the restroom."

Something about the way she spoke let him know that she didn't want him to help her and he watched , feeling utterly powerless as she stumbled on her own towards her private bathroom door, using the walls and furniture to help her walk on shaky legs.

Kain ran a frustrated hand through his hair as she stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. It was obvious that she wanted him to leave, but there was no way he could leave her alone like this! It was amazing that she was somehow managing to keep it together. Heck it was almost unnatural. If only she would show some kind of reaction. He wasn't sure what he wanted from her, but anything would be better than that vacant, empty stare.

The sound of running water came from the bathroom sink and was then closely followed by the sound of the shower. Kain continued to wait, using practiced restraint in order to remain patient. But as minutes passed and steam started to rise from under the bathroom door, his patience only held on by a thread.

He stepped in front of the door and gave a loud knock. "Ruka. Are you okay in there?"

No response, just the eerie sound of the running water.

Unexplainably, his heart doubled in speed as visions of his worst nightmare flashed behind his eyes. He rattled the door knob, finding it locked from the inside. Kain didn't hesitate, he rammed his shoulder into the door, using his weight to force it open. Pieces of wood splintered and frayed as the latch smashed through the door frame. Inside, the air was thick with hot steam rising from the shower, and he didn't think twice before roughly pulling the plastic curtain aside.

Relief rushed from his body as he noticed she was all in one piece, sitting on the floor of the bath tub with hot water running down her back. Her feet were bare but she hadn't even removed her dress and the water was so hot that it must have been scalding her skin.

He pushed the white sleeves of his shirt up his forearms so he could reach in and turn the drain to stop the flow of water. With the shower no longer running, her dry sobs filled the room, each one tearing at the insides of his chest.

"C'mon sweetheart, I know its hard." He spoke to her gently as he draped a towel over her shoulders and lifted her out of the tub.

He ignored the dripping water as it drenched the front of his shirt. All of his attention was focused on Ruka, trembling in his arms as he set her upright near the bed and rubbed the towel over her soaking hair.

"God, I'm so sorry this happened to you." he said almost to himself as heart-wrenching tears streamed down her face.

He left her standing there and shivering for a brief moment, so he could quickly open the closet and grab a robe from her neatly hung clothes. When he returned to her she didn't react to him, but wrapped her arms protectively around her middle while staring at nothing in front of her. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her forehead and make the haunted look on her face disappear. But the nagging sense that she would never want someone like him to touch her stopped him. Besides, he had to take this one step at a time.

"I'm going to help you take off your dress, okay?" He was afraid something like this would instigate her fear, and he felt it was important to tell her of what he was about to do.

A brief nod of her head was the only thing that let him know she had heard him.

Kain took a deep steadying breath, "Okay" he said again to himself in an attempt to slow his racing heart. He was on his own here. Ruka seemed lost in a world of despair and only vaguely aware that he was standing with her. With slightly shaking hands, he reached behind her to grab the zipper of her soaking dress.

Dutifully, he kept his eyes straight above her head as his fingers found the fastening at the back of her neck. His ears clung to the sound of the metal zipper as he slowly dragged it down, all the way to the small of her waist. Despite his best intentions to remain indifferent, his heart pounded as he put his hands at the straps on her shoulders and pulled them down her forearms. The sound of the thin silk fabric wetly falling to the carpet at her feet echoed around the room.

He knew this was the worst time for his thoughts to head in lustful directions, but it was impossible for his body to ignore the fact that the woman he had desired for years was standing completely nude in front of him. Although he was staring above her head at the wall on the opposite side of the room, in his mind's eye he saw flawless skin, lush curves, and full breasts...

Quickly he snatched the robe from where he had set it on the bed and draped it over her shoulders, keeping his head turned as he closed it around her.

She had stopped crying, and he could hear the swish of satin fabric as she put her arms through each sleeve. When she was completely covered they stood again in silence. He looked down at the top of her head that barely came up to his collar bone. She was quiet, staring in front of her, with her light breaths brushing against the skin at the front of his neck. After her trip to the bathroom, she smelled of minty mouthwash that mixed in alluringly with the scent sweet lilac soap.

"I don't want to leave." He said uncomfortably, worried that she would try to push him away again.

"I don't want you to either."

Her voice was hoarse, yet steady and calm, but he didn't stop to wonder what was going through her head and only felt relief that she was going to let him stay. Somehow, he had to get her to go to sleep.

"Akatsuki..." she spoke before he could think of something to say. And he glanced down surprised to hear her speak. "I'm thirsty."

"I'll get you a glass of water." He was glad at having something to do, to occupy his mind and keep it off of the provocative image she created in nothing but the satin robe.

"No." Her fingers wrapped around his arm to stop him from walking away. He looked down at the slender hand on his bicep then to her face. Her eyes were lowered, long lashes resting on pale cheeks.

"You don't understand." She said.

In slow motion, her eyelids raised, revealing the bright red depths of eyes tormented by what must have been unbearable bloodlust.

"I'm thirsty."

He hissed in a breath. Her thirst was obviously intense. How had he not caught it earlier?

It only made sense that after such a traumatic and frightening experience, her body sought some way to acknowledge life. Not only that, but with the after effects of heavy sedatives still flowing through her system, a thirst for blood would be an instinctive reaction to renew her strength. At first he thought she was asking for tablets, but the way she stared intently at his neck told him an entirely different story.

All of the blood in his body rushed in response to her vampiric, yet feminine request. The instant flood of arousal almost floored him in its intensity. The sharing of blood between two vampires was something incredibly intimate, almost more so than sex. How many nights had he dreamt of it? Imagined the taste of her sweet essence on his tongue or the thrill of what her bite would feel like, piercing his neck.

Now, the offer was laid out in front of him, a temptation that was almost impossible to resist. He had always thought of her as beautiful, but with blood red eyes and pure white skin, she took on a new haunting and ethereal appeal. Could he actually do this? Once his vein opened, she would have access not only to his blood but to his private inner thoughts. There was no way she would be able to mistake how he truly felt about her.

As if she could hear his indecision, she placed a hand on his chest and moved closer to him with one small step. His hands seemed to have a mind of their own, as they wrapped around her shoulders then slowly slid down her back.

Kain closed his eyes and slightly bent his head in absolute defeat. When it came to Ruka, he was utterly hopeless. He wanted this, more than anything, and there was no way he could stop himself from giving in to anything she wished.

"Take as much as you need." He heard himself whisper as she placed her hands on his shoulders and lifted herself onto her toes so her mouth could reach the side of his neck.

All he could hear was the heavy, relentless pounding of his heartbeat as she delicately placed her dainty lips against his skin. And as her sharp teeth sunk into his flesh, he was unable to stop himself from gripping her tightly around the waist, steadying himself against the indescribable pleasure.

She seemed to come alive in his arms as she latched on like a hungry kitten with her pinprick fangs hooked into his vein. Yet, it surprised him that the feeling was not even close to pain, instead , it was a fierce persistent pleasure that intensified with each draw of blood.

Oh what delicious torment, what erotic torture! Despite his intentions to remain distant, he heard a low grown emanate from his chest as she snuggled closer to him, pressing her pliant curves against him and wrapping small arms around his shoulders. While before she had been stagnant with despair, she now seemed on fire and her body melted into his. With each passing second, his control slipped farther and farther from his grasp and his hands moved lower, kneading supple skin and pulling her soft slender hips up against the hard thickness between his legs that was impossible to disguise.

He squeezed her harder than he meant to, but she continued sucking against his skin, undulating her hips as he went dizzy with sexual pleasure. He was far beyond controlling his own actions and relentless desire heated him from within. As another groan tore from his throat he ground his hips against her and she let out a sexy breathless sigh. The sweet scent of her desire filled his senses and his head started to spin.

"Jesus, Ruka." He grated. "We should stop this."

She whimpered in protest as she gripped him tightly and continued to draw blood from his neck.

He hardly had the power to stop her, but he was getting very dizzy, very fast.

"Ruka, that's enough." The words came out too softly and his actions betrayed him as he pressed their bodies impossibly closer, his skin on fire at every place they touched.

A few more pulls and she finally stopped, relaxing her head against his chest. She seemed tired and sated, but the full force sexual desire was raging through his veins. His hands rubbed up and down her back as she let out a satisfied sigh and even though he was dizzy from the swift blood loss, he somehow managed to hold them both upright.

"I should put you to bed." His voice sounded hoarse and unnatural but she didn't seem to hear him anyways.

It took a few minutes for him to get his bearings after such a strong emotional storm. He took long steadying breaths in order to calm himself down, while Ruka slowly went slack in his arms.

The poor girl was still not beyond the drug's effects and he couldn't help but feel that he had somehow taken advantage of her in her current physically and emotionally weak state. But in reality it was him who had given more to her than he had ever imagined he would.

With a final sigh, he bent down and laid her on the bed, resting her head on the pillow. She sighed softly then turned her head to rest on her side. When he bent down to lift her bare feet onto the bed he noticed the gold necklace wrapped around her slender ankle. At first he started to unfasten it, but then realized he was just using it as another excuse to touch her skin.

Disgusted with himself, he stood up from the bed and forced himself to leave the room.

_Tomorrow. _He told himself. He would deal with this tomorrow.

* * *

**I stayed up until 3am working on this so I could update this morning, so hopefully it isn't a complete editing disaster. Please let me know what you think!**

**I'm going back to bed now. ^_^**


	7. Shattered Friendship

**Sorry I didn't get a chance to reply to everyone's reviews this time around. I promise I'll get to it next time though because I do love them so.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of these characters, but can I just borrow Kain for one night pretty please?**

**

* * *

  
**

There were hammers pounding at the inside of her head. At least thats the way it felt as Ruka forced her eyelids open. Sleeping in probably would have been more conducive to a quick recovery from a hangover, but unfortunately her inner clock was set to six pm.

Normally, she enjoyed this time of night, when the house was quiet and there was plenty of time to herself. It was usually calming to watch the sun set as the comforting darkness of night sank in.

This night, however, the soft light peeking out from under the drapes streaked her pillow and created daggers of pain that seemed to shoot straight to the retinas of her eyes. No wonder Aidou couldn't stand the setting sunlight. The way he spent most nights, he probably woke up feeling like this all the time.

The thought of Hanabusa triggered the memory of the previous night.

_Oh god._

At a sudden wave of nausea, she rolled onto her side and curled up around her stomach, squeezing her eyes shut tight against the invasive graphic images that played like a horror film in her mind's eye. That man's hands had been violating and groping her skin and then there had been so much blood.

Ruka covered her face with her hands, as if she could somehow hide or possibly even disappear. She had killed the human. Shock no longer prevented her from coming to this realization and the knowledge sunk in like a heavy weight pressing her into the bed. This had to be some kind of nightmare. This couldn't possibly be real. She had always done everything that she was supposed to, behaved like a lady, obeyed her parents' orders, followed Kaname despite how much it had broken her heart. Things like this simply didn't happen to people like her.

But apparently they did.

Oh how she wished she could go back in time and ignore Aidou's request. She should have never gone with him, should have never had anything to drink. The whole night she had been so thoughtless and so incredibly stupid. How was she supposed to live with herself after something like this?

But living with herself was something she would somehow have to accomplish, no matter how impossible it seemed. If she could manage to suppress this and keep it hidden within herself, then maybe on the outside it could appear that everything was normal. Still, some people would have to know and she would surely receive some form of punishment.

For only a few minutes, Ruka simply lay in bed, letting pathetic tears soak the pillow beneath her cheek. It was all the time she allowed herself before groggily picking herself up. What was done, was done. There was no turning back. She had been raised with rules and regulations that were far too stringent to allow herself to simply stay in bed.

Like some kind of mechanical apparition, she went through the motions of her dusk routine. She showered, she brushed her teeth, fifty strokes of a brush through her hair, a light coat of carefully applied make up. From her dresser, a neatly folded white blouse and from her closet an ironed and pleated navy skirt. _Ignore the thoughts of those sweaty groping hands. Ignore the blood, the sluggish sedatives, the fear. _

In a temporary moment of insanity, she thought about burning what was left of the violet dress. Somehow it was on the floor next to her bed, although she had no memory of taking it off. It was simply there, wrinkled and slightly wet. She steeled herself against the urge to fall to her knees and rip it to threads with her bare hands and teeth. How ridiculous. It was just a tattered piece of cloth, yet she stood there staring at it, as if it were a black hole in the center of the floor. She brushed aside the idea of leaving it there on the carpet. It would only still be there waiting for her when she returned.

Quickly, she grabbed it in a fist and marched out of the room. Pure resilience kept her from shattering as she carried it down the hall, into the laundry room and threw it in the trash bin. Then, as if it would magically chase her, she all but ran out of the tiny dank room and slammed the door behind her.

Tiredly, she leaned her back against the door. This was ridiculous. Why was she acting like this? It was only a dress. Nothing about it should make her feel these cold pinpricks of inner terror, even though it was covered in tiny red specks of splattered blood.

At another wave of nausea, she lifted a hand to press against her stomach. If she hadn't felt so sickly ashamed she would have laughed at herself, but there was nothing funny about the situation. Instead of acting like a fool, she needed to organize her thoughts. She needed to think this through.

Her memory was more than fuzzy. Some detailed images had left an imprint in her mind, yet the order of events was unclear. She placed a hand over her eyes as if it would stop intruding memories even as she tried to concentrate and place them into a time line.

There was the man at the bar, the drinks, the hands groping her, the nail file and then the blood. Then what had happened? Somebody had taken her home...

Akatsuki.

How had he known she was there? Vaguely she remembered being in a car. He must have driven her home. The shooting pain in her temples increased as she tried to remember anything else.

It didn't matter. She needed to talk to Kaname. No, she needed to talk to Akatsuki first and then to Kaname. Kain was always cool and collected. If nothing else, he could help her put the pieces together.

With a slight relief at having a plan, she walked down the hall to his room. No matter what, Kain had always been there for her, a big brother who always lent a listening ear. Somehow she would have to get through this, but she wouldn't have to get through it alone.

Kain's room was only a few doors down from hers and she didn't hesitate before giving it a few soft knocks. Her ears picked up the rustle of cloth and the sound of footsteps before the door opened.

Any words she had been about to say suddenly left her as she became totally speechless. Kain stood there with one hand still on the door, in black jeans and no shirt. Instantly, she was confronted with his bare chest. Lightly tanned skin stretched over muscles that were chiseled and defined. He must have just gotten out of the shower, because his reddish hair was dark and wet and her eyes glued to a bead of water that slowly dripped down his stomach along thin line of light colored hair beneath his navel. Her mouth went dry as that little drop hit the cloth of his jeans where the first button was still unfastened.

"I...ummm." she stuttered as her mind went blank. What was it she had been about to say?

"Come in. We have to talk." He stepped aside still holding the door.

Ruka swallowed, feeling surprisingly uncomfortable but forced herself to step inside. Why was she all of a sudden feeling this way? It wasn't like she had never seen him with his shirt off. An evening of near rape and murder must certainly put a person on edge. But still, when had he become so...masculine?

He looked tired as he shut the door behind her and she noticed that his bed was still made. At first she wondered if he hadn't slept but then she remembered that, unlike his cousin, he had always kept his space neat. Nervously, she glanced around the room from the open bathroom door that was still slightly steamy from a recent shower to the shelves of thick history books that he for some reason found so interesting.

Even though he had said they needed to talk, he was silent and stood there simply gazing down at her with a penetrating chocolate brown stare. It was then that her eyes caught the sight of a tempting blue vein at the side of his neck and it instantly hit her.

She bit him last night! Her senses flooded with the memory of his thick sweet blood filling her mouth and sliding down her throat. Heat flushed her skin as she remembered clinging to him with her breasts pressed up against his hard muscled chest. She was completely unprepared for the melting of her insides as heated desire pooled at the bottom of her stomach from the memory of the way he had held her with strong hands kneading her flesh. Then she remembered what she had seen in the private images in his mind.

"Oh!" she gasped as she covered her mouth with her hand.

Akatsuki wanted to have sex with her.

At least that was the only way she could make sense of his thoughts.

He winced as he took in her expression. "I'm sorry I wasn't there earlier last night."

"Oh no..." she hastily corrected him. "Its not that...its just that...I've never done anything like that before and I had forgotten until just now."

He put a warm hand on her shoulder. "Ruka, you only did what you had to in order to protect yourself. If I had been there earlier I would have done the same."

"No..I mean, I've never done that either but the other thing..." she trailed off. Oh why was she babbling like an idiot?

Neither one of them spoke. They had always been so comfortable together in silence, but now Ruka felt so awkward she almost wanted to run out of the room. While standing here only feet away from him, the brief silence of a few seconds seemed to stretch forever and she couldn't even look him in the face as her cheeks grew hot with an embarrassed flush.

"Ah," his hand fell back down to his side. "the other thing..."

Her discomfort grew to an almost intolerable level and her feet backed towards the door even as her hands itched to touch his bare skin. Her breasts ached as her body practically begged her to wrap her arms around his shoulders, press herself against him and sink her fangs into his neck.

"I..I'm s-sorry for intruding." She stuttered as her back hit the door and her hand fumbled with the knob. "I'll let you get dressed."

And with that last barely audible sentence, she was out the door.

* * *

Kain's hand tightened into a fist as he listened to her light footsteps quickly running down the hall. She was afraid of him. Afraid of him and possibly even disgusted. She hadn't said so but the look on her face had spoken for itself. The way her eyes had widened and the way she had covered her mouth with her hand made it seem like she was worried he was going to jump her bones right then and there.

All he had ever wanted was her. Her gentle smile, her soft skin, her intelligent eyes. These were things he wanted to see every day. Of course he wanted more than friendship but he had managed to allow himself to be content with at least the close relationship of a best friend. Now, he had even managed to ruin that.

He closed his eyes as the image of her standing in the doorway etched itself into his mind. It was obvious that she was trying to keep it together, and to others she would most likely appear to be her usual self, but he could see the differences. After so many days watching her, he picked up on them with a natural intuition.

There were dark circles under her eyes and her lips had been stretched thin, as if she was trying to keep her emotions held inside. No doubt, she was blaming herself for everything. It was in her nature to do so. She always felt the need to take responsibility for things, even if they weren't her fault.

He hadn't lied. They needed to talk. Not about what she had seen while drinking his blood, because it was obvious she wanted to avoid that. They needed to talk about what they were going to do about the fact that there had been two vampires and one human in an enclosed booth, and only the two vampires had come out alive.

Maybe because of the way it had happened, with a weapon instead of fangs, it wouldn't be expected it had been a vampire who killed the human. In the long run, it wouldn't matter, but it could at least help them stall for time. Under Kaname's rules, a vampire killing a human was the worst taboo. She had done it in self defense and the bastard deserved it, but the vampire hunters wouldn't see it that way.

He walked to his closet and threw on a shirt. If he knew Ruka, and he most certainly did, the first thing she was going to do would be confess to Kaname and ask for some type of ridiculous punishment that she didn't deserve. It was reckless, it was unnecessary and he had to stop her before she decided to make that move.

She might hate him and she might never want to see him again, but he was going to protect her whether she liked it or not.

* * *

**Meh this chapter didn't quite come out the way I wanted it to, but there should be more thoughts from Ruka and some Aidou coming up.**

**Please, tell me what you think so far! Love it? Hate it? I want to hear your thoughts. ^_^**


	8. From Lady to Fugitive

**I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I got kind of discouraged and felt that this story wasn't moving in the direction I wanted it to. So, I took a change of course in an effort to keep the plot moving and set up chapters with more opportunities for romance and lemons. :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of its characters, but I think they all deserve to get laid.**

* * *

Recently, appearances of Kaname in the mansion hideout had become more and more rare, but it was fortunate to have him home on this night so that Kain could follow through with his objective.

_Objective. _He inwardly smirked at himself at the word. More like a reckless strategy to bring him faster to his own demise. Of course he had calculated the benefits and consequences of every possible action, but one day without sleep had hardly been enough time to consider them all and, unfortunately, consequences far outweighed benefits in each carefully thought out scene.

It wouldn't take long to find the pureblood. When Kaname was at home, he inevitably retreated to the under levels where Yuuki resided. To others, it would look as though the pureblood simply wanted to stay close to his fiance, but Kain had always suspected that it was more because of the secret underground entrance that few supposedly knew about. Their supreme gang leader no doubt had contacts and spies using some underground method to transport intelligence. It was one of the few explanations Kain had derived for the pureblood's ability to have eyes everywhere at all times.

The dark winding staircase that lead to the lower levels seemed to have an endless depth and the air was filled with a heavy mist threatening to drown those who sank below. Anxiety or even fear would have both been appropriate feelings, but Kain descended with the calm mind of a criminal who's fate had been decided. He would walk this plank for her. No matter how Ruka had managed to become vulnerable to that human's attempt to violate her, she was still an innocent victim. The thought of Ruka being fed alive to vampire hunter sharks was just too much to bear.

Light peeked out from a slightly open door to one of the sitting rooms that Kaname so often occupied. Silently, Kain approached and looked inside.

The pureblood lay on a sofa reading a book and showed no reaction as Kain stepped into the doorway. As always, Kaname's powerful aura seemed to thicken the air. Whenever a lesser vampire was in the presence of a pureblood it was impossible not to feel a slight apprehension. Kain's senses heightened instinctively as he stepped into the vicinity of a being so deadly and calm.

"I assume you're standing there because you have something to tell me." Kaname spoke without looking away from his book, but Kain didn't doubt that he was being watched closely.

"You were right, Ruka left with Aidou last night. I found her at one of the places he frequents."

"Is there something else you wanted to inform me of?"

Kain's jaw gave an imperceptible twitch. "I'm not going to stand here and pretend like I don't already realize that you know what happened last night. That's not why I came."

At this Kaname finally showed some form of reaction, even if it was only a slight raise of an eyebrow. "Of course, Kain. I'm aware of the incident. It is unfortunate that Ruka was put in a position that required such a violent defense."

_Unfortunate? _That was the word he chose for her being brutally violated and then emotionally devastated? Despite his decision to remain unaffected, Kain found himself becoming increasingly frustrated at Kaname's total tranquility. If the pureblood knew anything of what had happened then surely he would show some form of anger or at least concern for Ruka, who had followed him so devotedly. Even when Kaname had coldly ignored her obvious affection and broken her heart without so much as a word, she had stayed by his side. The pureblood should show more gratitude for someone with such undying love.

Kain forced himself to suppress his anger and went on. "I want you to know that if something should happen and the Vampire Hunter Association finds out about this. I intend to take the fall for it. Ruka was only protecting herself and has already been hurt enough."

Kaname set down his book and gracefully rose from the sofa. At first Kain stiffened in preparation for an oncoming blow, but Kaname simply walked to the side of the room to retrieve a single paper off of a small mahogany desk, then held it out for Kain to read.

Kain carefully approached and took the offered sheet of paper. It was a formal letter from the vampire hunter association. He quickly scanned it.

_As protectors of humanity, it is our duty to inform you that it has come to our attention that one of the vampires in your faction has committed the ultimate crime. Any vampires that propose a threat to human society must be brought to justice. However, because of our ongoing negotiations with the proposed peace treaty, we are amenable to keeping this discreet. We request that you produce the following fugitives before we are forced to take further action:_

_Ruka Souen, Akatsuki Kain._

So, they already knew. It was a surprise that information could travel quickly, but Kain didn't waste time dwelling on the fact that they had the upper hand. "I'll go. I can explain that it was all my doing. As long as Ruka stays out of this, they can do whatever they want to me."

Kaname sighed. "Surely you know that I cannot lose someone as valuable as yourself. You are a relative of the Aidou family, and Hanabusa's father is key in these negotiations."

"Kaname-sama, the vampire hunters will want blood for this. I don't see how it can be resolved otherwise."

"Yes, and sacrifices will have to be made." The pureblood set the full force of his unwaivering dark gaze on his subject. "As someone who has an intelligent grasp on our politics, you should understand that the Souens carry very little political weight."

Every muscle in Kain's body tensed. "You better not be suggesting that you will feed her to these animals." His voice lowered and resembled a growl. "If I really am that important to your peace treaty, you would not make such a rash move."

Kaname's eyes revealed a brief flicker of anger before darkening to a deeper shade of black. "I did not expect you to come here issuing threats, Kain."

For the first time, Kain found himself on the receiving end of Kaname's deadly stare. The warning caused him to hold his breath. "Kaname-sama, I do not mean to issue threats, but I still won't allow Ruka to get hurt. You must know that she doesn't deserve this."

Kaname gave a long drawn out sigh, "Yes I am aware of that, Kain. But you are right that this won't be something easily resolved in a peaceful manner and between the two of you, Ruka is more...expendable._"_

The letter crumpled in his hand as Kain's fingers tightened into a fist. "So, you are just going to abandon her? This is how you repay those who follow you with such loyalty and respect? If you do this, I won't hesitate to take her to a place where she will be safe from your cold hearted politics. I'm sure those left of the council would be much more concerned with her safety."

To even bring up the council was an act of betrayal, but Kain was beyond caring about the pureblood's political strategizing. Because of his sense of loyalty, Kain had followed Kaname, admiring the pureblood's attempts to create a peaceful coexistence with humans. But if being a part of Kaname's faction involved Ruka getting hurt, he wanted no part of it.

"Do not be so hasty as to assume my intentions." Kaname's voice lowered dangerously. "But since you bring up the council, it makes me question: Akatsuki Kain, are you my friend or my enemy?"

_Christ_, he didn't come down here so he could recklessly waltz to his death. But this conversation had quickly taken a dangerous turn and the room that was once an inviting social sitting room, became a locked cell that reeked of a trap. With a level headed intellect that few could maintain in the presence of a pureblood, Kain quickly analyzed the situation. This was clearly a test.

Kain chose his words carefully. "I would like to be your friend Kaname-sama, but I still have loyalties elsewhere. If you were to contradict those, my decision to remain your ally could change."

Apparently, he had succeeded mollifying the tension, because Kaname visibly relaxed. "I have no intention of giving Ruka to the vampire hunters. That is not how I repay those who follow me."

Kain's breath came easier with the knowledge, but he still didn't understand what the pureblood was getting at. "I don't see how you could possibly resolve this without one of us being sacrificed."

"The purpose of this treaty is peace and equality between both humans and vampires, yet the Vampire Hunter Association is trying to get the upper hand. I agree with them that humans should be safe from unwarranted vampire attacks, but this was not a situation where the human was innocent." As if deep in thought, Kaname lithely paced to a bookcase on the side of the room, casually perusing the titles. "If this treaty means that vampires cannot defend themselves when necessary then these negotiations are pointless."

Kain took this in. "Yes it would be unfair for Ruka to be persecuted for this, but I doubt they will be able to see it that way. Humans can only see vampires as predators, not victims."

The pureblood gave a small nod. "It will be difficult to prove, but she was in residence at the academy for a number of years and assisted in protecting the day class students during Rido's attack. This will help us show that she has good moral character and would not kill a human unless it was in self defense."

Kain quickly developed an utmost appreciation for the pureblood's willingness to defend Ruka even though he preferred to take the blame himself. "She will be very grateful that you are going to help her, Kaname-sama."

Kaname held up a hand. "I'm not quite finished yet, Kain. You must understand that there is still the matter of how the vampire society will see this. Ruka is part of the Kuran faction and is one of my closest followers, yet the nobles will see that she has gone against one of my orders. I cannot be perceived as a weak leader and for this peace treaty to work, a large and obedient following is needed."

Kain didn't like the sound of this, but allowed the pureblood to continue with his speech.

"I've scheduled a conference with many powerful nobles tomorrow, I will be announcing that Ruka Souen is no longer part of the Kuran faction. You may stay if you like, Kain, but Ruka has to leave."

Air rushed out of Kain's lungs as if he had been punched in the stomach. "Kaname-sama you can't possibly be serious. This will destroy her reputation! If you abandon her, she will be crushed!"

"Relax, Kain" The pureblood ordered. "This may only be temporary. If we can resolve the situation peacefully I will graciously accept her back into my home."

Kain ran a hand through his hair, not caring that it turned it into a tousled reddish blond mess. The pureblood did not seem to grasp just how much this would devastate Ruka. "Do you realize her parents will disown her for this? If you throw her out on the street, she will have no place to go."

A slight bow of Kaname's head was the only hint of remorse. "I know this will be difficult for her, but there is no other possible course of action that will mend the damage to our delicate peace treaty."

In an effort to hold back his anger, Kain ground his teeth. "Don't think that I will stay here while you abandon her. The vampire hunters are not going to let this rest so quickly and without your protection she will be exposed. They might act peaceful in your meetings, but they will send out assassins behind your back. We're not simply talking about a change in social status. You're putting her life in danger, Kaname!"

Even though Kain had rudely not used the honorific, Kaname didn't take offense. Instead he returned to his perusal of the novels on the book case, retrieving a large dark leather-bound volume. "Do not be so presumptuous as to assume that I am not aware of this, Kain. There are still ways to protect her."

Kain watched the pureblood intently, as he opened the large book in his hands, flipping to a page in the middle where a folded document was tucked inside.

"During our stay at the academy, I had carefully prepared several locations that would serve as shelters in which I could hide Yuuki in the possible event that Rido would not be defeated. Fortunately, his assassination went as planned and these locations became unnecessary for her protection, but this is a situation in which we can put them to use."

Kaname, unfolded the document and placed it on the coffee table in front of Kain. Although the document was almost totally unmarked, there were neatly drawn lines and numbers that could indicate it was a map.

As Kaname straightened from the table he slightly raised his voice. "You may enter, Seiren."

Kain was taken off guard by Kaname's command. He had been so caught up in their conversation, that he hadn't even noticed Seiren's presence in the doorway behind him.

The stoic white haired vampire entered and kneeled at Kaname's feet. Dressed in tight fitting black clothing, she gave off the appearance of a devoted soldier. "I am at your service, Kaname-sama."

Kaname accepted her submission with the ease of one who had been accustomed to giving orders his entire life. He motioned towards the map on the table. "Go over this with Kain as we discussed, I have other business to attend to."

Kain spoke quickly, before the pureblood could leave the room. "Kaname-sama, there is only one other thing I have to ask."

The pureblood stopped before leaving, and with his back to the room he gave a slight turn of his head only revealing his profile. "Then ask it, Kain."

Kain's put his hands in his pockets and looked to the floor to hide a painful emotion that was impossible to disguise. "Please say something to Ruka before you do this. She will be emotionally devastated, and a kind word from you would mean the world to her."

"It is commendable that you seek her happiness above your own, but I am not the one who should be offering her kind words of consolation." As Kaname walked out the door, he spoke over his shoulder. "Either you or your cousin may accompany her, I care not which one of you serves as her protector while she is away."

With that final statement, Kaname left the room, taking his ominous presence with him and leaving only a coldly stale atmosphere. Kain was left with only a bitter taste in his mouth, as he inwardly cursed the pureblood for his lack of compassion. If Kaname had been the one to find Ruka in that bloody booth, where she had been so vulnerable had shocked into a pale childlike state, would the pureblood have had the decency to console her as Kain had asked? He doubted it. No matter how much Ruka devoted herself to him, the pureblood only returned a cold-hearted gaze.

It was true that the three nobles living here followed Kaname as loyal subjects, but Kain was the only one who watched the pureblood with an objective eye. Aidou and Ruka weren't necessarily fools for unabashedly loving their leader, but they could both be foolishly blind. Aidou, at least had a tendency to bend the rules, but Ruka looked at Kaname with an adoration that was undeserved.

Kain would kill for one of those looks from her loving rose colored eyes. He would beg, murder and steal if it meant he could be the recipient of such an undying love, even if it was only for a brief moment. This unemotional pureblood that was a pathetic excuse for a compassionate being, did nothing to deserve her affection, yet she gave all of herself to him without asking anything in return.

Kain ignored Seiren's silent presence and took the time to cover his face with his hand as a sharp pain squeezed his heart. Even though Ruka now knew that he loved her, when he had seen her earlier that night she had only looked at him with shock and disgust. The last thing she would want would be being forced into some locked underground shelter with him, but damn it to hell, he was not going to send his idiot cousin to watch over her.

With great effort, Kain forced down the emotional hurt until it was only a dull pain that buried deep in his chest. Somehow he would convince her that this was all his doing, because he couldn't stand the thought of her tears that would surely come when she realized Kaname was disowning her, even if it was only temporarily. She was currently more emotionally fragile than Kain had ever seen her before and he wasn't about to let the pureblood's calculated maneuverings devastate her further. It didn't matter how much it was going to hurt when she hated him. If it meant she would be happy, he would silently bear his own heartbreak.

After taking another brief moment to compose himself, Kain turned to face Seiren. "Show me where this place is. We'll be leaving tonight."

* * *

**Bleh, a lot of boring plot in this chapter, but hopefully it was at least a little bit entertaining?**

**I promise you more juicy scenes in the following chapters. In the meantime, please review! I really want to know what you think.**


	9. Kidnapped by Gentlemen

**So much thanks goes out to you dedicated reviewers. If it weren't for you, I probably would have gotten too down on myself to keep working on this story. I'm really glad I've stuck with it, because it's become an absolute joy to write for you! :)**

**Disclaimer: This fanfiction is free.**

* * *

When Kain returned to the upper levels of the mansion hideout, he found none other than Hanabusa Aidou himself, leaning tiredly against the wall next to his bedroom door. The blond vampire looked unusually disheveled and exhausted, still in the same tuxedo he had worn the night before.

Kain didn't take the time to analyze his cousin's wrinkled clothing and bloodshot eyes, and before Aidou could say a word, he swung open his bedroom door, grabbed his cousin by the collar and threw him inside.

"I could kill you for what happened to her!" He threatened, slamming the door behind him.

Aidou startled at the loud thud as the door slammed shut and hastily went into explanations, "Listen, Akatsuki, I didn't mean for anything to happen, I swear!"

All of the suppressed rage that Kain had held down boiled to the surface. He deliberately advanced on his cousin, one step at a time, wanting nothing more than to inflict pain on the person who had caused this to happen, even if it was indirectly.

Aidou's blue eyes widened as he took in his cousin's murderous stare. Nervously, he took a step back, attempting to stay at a safe distance away. "I went there with every intention of keeping an eye on her." His words strung together in an effort to get them out before Kain followed through with his threat. "She got up to go to the bathroom, and she was only gone for twenty minutes, and then you showed up. I honestly didn't think anything of it. You know how girls are."

A few more steps and Aidou's back hit the wall, wide eyes glued to his cousin's hand as it formed into a fist filled with fire. He attempted a more placating tone. "Okay, Akatsuki, I know I probably deserve this, but I can't be the one you're this pissed off at. It's not like I would ever purposely do anything to put her in danger."

Kain was instantly disgusted by his cousin's total ignorance. He stopped his advance, carefully controlling himself before he burnt his own cousin into a crisp. "You have no idea what happened, do you?"

"Of course I have no idea what happened!" Aidou's voice heightened with anxiety. "One second you were there, and the next second there's one bloody dead human and all hell breaks loose. Vampire hunters were there instantly! I barely made it out of that mess alive!"

The only thing that gave Kain reason to pause, was the pure fear causing Aidou's voice to rise. It was then that he really took in his cousin's appearance. There were dark circles under his eyes, dirt in his hair and a slight coat of sweaty grime on his skin. He looked as if he had just crawled out of an open grave.

Kain couldn't help but ask, "Where the hell have you been?"

Frustratingly, Aidou ran a hand through his hair to shake out a coating of dust and debris. "You see all those trees out there?" He pointed towards the window. "I hid out in the bushes several miles from here all freaking day! Do you have any idea how hot it is staying in sunlight for twelve fucking hours?"

At this, Kain gave a satisfied smirk. Maybe the image of his pampered cousin having to hide in dirt and bushes under bright rays of sunlight was gratifying enough to not require any further punishment. Still, something about what Aidou was saying bothered him. "How could vampire hunters have gotten there so quickly?"

Aidou stepped away from the wall and began to pace, leaving tracks of dirt on the carpet. "That's what I've been wondering. The only thing I can think of is they were already there, waiting for something like this to happen. There were so many of them, more than I could keep track of. They were armed for a full out raid. I swear to god, the Vampire Hunter Association must be trying to start a war."

Kain stiffened. "That's not normal behavior for them."

Abruptly, Aidou stopped pacing and looked at his cousin seriously. "No, you have it wrong. It was the vampires that attacked first."

Any idiots that recklessly attacked vampire hunters, deserved what was coming to them. "Have you talked to Kaname about this?"

Aidou shook his head. "No, I've been avoiding him. But, Akatsuki, have you thought about the possibility that Kaname may not actually be able to control vampire society? He needs us now more than ever if he plans to bring order to this madness. I sure as hell don't want to have to fear for my life every time I go out."

Things began to fall into place as Kain put the pieces together. Despite, Kaname's calm appearance, he was worried about being able to keep a mob of vampires under control. Consequently, he intended to point the finger at Ruka, and ostracize her in order to set an example. It was despicable and it was smart, and Kain couldn't help but hate the pureblood for it.

Despite his desire to inflict pain on his cousin, he would probably need Aidou's help. Kain lowered his voice and spoke seriously. "Ruka killed him."

"What?" Aidou's head shot up at his cousin's remark.

"The dead human at the club last night, Ruka was the one that killed him."

"You've got to be kidding me." Aidou said with disbelief.

"During those twenty minutes when you weren't watching her she was drugged and possibly...raped." The word tore out of him like a dagger through his chest.

Aidou took a step back, and fell onto the chair at Kain's desk, in total shock. His voice came out strained. "He hurt our Ruka?"

Kain closed his eyes, unable to look at his own torment that was reflected in his cousin's expression. "She slit his throat, with a nail file. I got there right after it happened."

As swiftly as Aidou had become shocked his gaze darkened with rage. "That human is fucking lucky he's dead."

"My thoughts exactly."

In a manner that could only come from a person who called himself a genius, Aidou immediately attempted to develop a plan. "She'll be safe here for now. I'll speak to my father, tell him to set up a meeting with the new elders. We can protect her from this until..."

"It's too late, Hanabusa" Kain interrupted his cousin's plotting. "Kaname has already made his decision."

"Okay," Aidou took this in stride. "What's his plan then?"

Kain leveled his eyes on his cousin and maintained an even tone of voice. "He's kicking her out of his faction."

"What?!"

Kain winced as Aidou's voice reached an impossibly high pitch.

"He can't do that! It would completely destroy her!"

Kain spoke with his jaw clenched. "You don't think I know that? I just finished speaking with him about this."

Aidou brought his hand to cover his face. "What are we going to do?"

It was a rare occasion when Kain gave his cousin orders, but this time he took charge. "I'm going to tell you where we're going, and then you're going to help me get her out of here." then he wrinkled his nose, "after you shower."

* * *

Like a scared fugitive, Ruka spent most of the night in her room. It was imperative that she speak with Kaname, but all of the shattering events that had occurred within the past twenty-four hours were each chipping away at her inner core. The accumulation of each crushing emotion left her with only a mere fragment of what her inner strength had once been. Desperately, she struggled to pull herself together. She needed to focus, isolate each problem, and deal with one thing at a time.

Soon, she would confess to Kaname, fall on her knees and beg him for his forgiveness. Even though what she had done was atrocious, she didn't doubt that he would help her. Yuuki may be his only true love, but after the years she had spent soothing his grief, he surely had some feelings for her deep down. It would have been better if she could ask Kain for help, but evidently she was incapable of even being around him without succumbing to bloodlust and strange sexual urges.

Ruka fell on her bed and covered her face with her hands as the silky sweet texture of Kain's blood taunted her taste buds. What on earth had she been thinking? Even though it had just happened last night, she simply couldn't remember the thoughts that had lead up to that crazy decision. And now, as her body remembered the delicious sensations, she grudgingly admitted to herself that deep down she wanted to bite him again.

But the things she had seen in his mind! Yes they were jumbled and some were difficult to recall, but she distinctly remembered feeling his tormented yet incredibly powerful desire. His thoughts included detailed illustrations of her naked underneath him, their bare skin pressed together, legs intertwined and tangled in the sheets with his fangs buried deep into her neck...

She turned onto her side as a swift wave of hot desire flushed her with the thought. It was so wrong that she had seen his private thoughts but what was worse was the way she was reacting to them. He had always been her best friend, the one person she could confide in. Now, when she thought of him, she was only filled with lust and the memory of his finely toned body, intimately pressed against hers.

This feeling must have come from drinking his blood. Vampires had always spoken of how it was difficult not to become emotionally attached during blood exchange. When she had given her blood to Kaname it hadn't felt this way, but maybe it was different for the person drinking. Still, even after Kaname had drank her blood, his actions towards her hadn't changed.

Ruka didn't allow herself to ponder the meaning behind that thought. Enough time had been spent dwelling on that event during her years at the academy. She had already concluded that Kaname didn't change simply because she wasn't good enough for a pureblood like him. In order for Kaname to pursue his goals he needed a more powerful vampire like Yuuki standing by his side. Ruka was lucky enough to be able to stay and help him in any way she could, even if it was in the background.

An authoritative knock on the door quickly brought her out of her thoughts. Frantically, she sat up and tried to straighten the tangled mess her hair had become then rubbed the wetness off of her cheeks from tears that she hadn't realized were falling.

She tried to keep her voice steady, "Who is it?"

"It's me." Aidou's voice came through the door.

Some of the tension released from her shoulders as she moved to sit on the edge of her bed. Aidou could be annoying at times, but he was generally harmless. As she straightened her navy blue skirt she called back, "You can come in."

The door opened and Aidou stepped in. Hands in his pockets, he strolled to stand in front of her, blue eyes filled with concern. "Ruka-chan, how are you feeling?"

She took in his caring expression and couldn't help but wince. "I see you found out what happened."

Aidou nodded solemnly. "I can't help but worry. Your like my other kid sister." He moved to sit next to her on the bed. "Really, I want to make sure you're okay."

Ruka took in a shaky breath, the last thing she needed right now was pity, even it was from a childhood friend. "I'm fine, Hanabusa. Please don't look at me like that."

"You look like a mess," Aidou said, then grimaced at his lack of tact. "I'm so sorry, I know this is all my fault."

Ruka shook her head, "It's not your fault, Hanabusa. I was stupid last night. I should have never put myself in a position where someone could..." Her voice trailed off. There was no way she could finish that sentence without breaking down.

From the corner of her eye, she sensed Aidou's movement, and immediately stood up before he could embrace her in a brotherly hug. Ruka straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. "I understand that you're worried, but there's really no need. I was just about to go speak to Kaname. He'll know what to do."

"Wait, Ruka..." Aidou tried to stop her as she resolutely walked to the already open door.

With only a few more paces to the doorway, Kain stepped into her vision. Dressed in jeans and a black leather jacket, he folded his arms and leaned against the door-jam, blocking her path with his large frame. Ruka sucked in a breath, unable to hide her stunned reaction to his authoritative presence and determined expression. While before he had always been quiet and somewhat transparent, now his mere presence seemed to take up the entire room.

In an effort to avoid another wave of erotic images, she averted her eyes before they could drink him in. "Excuse me, Akatsuki, I was just leaving."

"No," He stated gruffly. "You'll be coming with me."

Stunned by his rude command, Ruka glanced up to find his brown eyes darkly looking down at her. Never had he appeared quite so intimidating. "I have to go speak with Kaname. I'm sorry, but whatever you have to say to me will have to wait."

"Ruka-chan, listen," Aidou stood up and spoke from behind her. "He's going to take you to a place where you'll be safe."

"I place where I'll be..." She cut herself off. "What are you two talking about? This place is already a hideout. I'm perfectly safe where I am." She took another step towards the exit. "Now, if you'll excuse me..."

Kain stood perfectly still, appearing relaxed yet using his large size to prevent her escape. "I told you this wouldn't be easy." He said to his cousin.

"Well, if you would just tell her that..."

"No." Kain interrupted him tersely, "Just stick to the plan."

Ruka found herself becoming more and more frustrated with their apparently planned intervention. "Will you two stop talking as if I'm not standing right here! I'm not going anywhere. You're both being paranoid."

"We just want to help you." Aidou's voice came out gently. "I think you may not realize how much danger you're in. You need to be protected."

Kain took a step in the room, forcing her to take a step back. "Start packing her things."

To Ruka's horror and astonishment, Aidou proceeded to do as he was told. Opening her closet to take out a suitcase while mumbling something about his "stupid cousin."

After putting some some distance between herself and Kain, Ruka placed her hands on her hips and tried for her best admonishing tone. "Just what do you two think you're doing? I understand you have some caveman instincts that say you have to protect me, but you're being a little ridiculous."

"Don't make this difficult, Ruka." Kain's voice lowered. "I've already made my decision."

Despite her attempts to keep herself in control, Ruka's eye lit up in anger as she swung to face Kain. "Since when do you get to decide where I go?" She didn't wait for a response. "You can't just waltz in here and bark orders at me! Does Kaname even know about this?"

Kain's eyes flashed briefly with some small measure of torment before returning to a flat brown glare. "Hanabusa will talk to him after we leave."

Quickly realizing that trying to get through to Kain was pointless, Ruka immediately turned to Aidou, who had finished with her closet and was transporting clothes from her dresser to the open suitcase. "Hanabusa! Why are you going along with this? Don't just take orders from your cousin. He's obviously lost his sense of reason."

Briefly, Aidou stopped packing her things and looked at her with compassion. "I know it seems like we're being insensitive but we're really just trying to do what's best for you."

"Neither of you have any right to decide what's best for me!" Ruka lost herself and yelled in frustration.

"You don't have a choice."

Ruka startled as Kain's deep voice came from directly behind her. Quickly, she turned to find him standing barely a foot away. With only a small distance between them, she could almost feel the heat from his body traveling to brush her skin. He towered over her, with broad shoulders and bright red hair, but even though she was intimidated, she stood her ground.

"What are you going to do? Carry me out of here?" She bravely challenged him,

He gave a definitive nod, "If it comes to that."

Shocked into silence, Ruka's mouth opened but she was left without words.

"Are you finished?" Kain turned his head to look at his cousin.

Ruka didn't hesitate, she took the one opportunity to catch him off-guard, making a break for the door with inhuman speed. She had no intention of leaving and was determined to find Kaname before they could force her out of her home.

She made it halfway down the hallway before Kain was on her. One strong arm grabbed her around the waste, knocking the wind out of her as inertia continued to pull her forward. Before she could even retaliate, he had her turned so that her nose was an inch away from the wall. The hard muscles of his chest pressed against her back, and he held her firmly against the length of his body as he placed one hand on the wall blocking her escape.

Ruka froze, stunned by the position she found herself in. _My god he's fast! _ She couldn't believe he had caught her so quickly, effectively subduing her within a mere fraction of a second. Her muscles tensed in preparation to fight, but his arm tightened around her, locking her arms to her sides. He was like a brick wall and she could hardly move, let alone try to break through.

"Don't fight me, Ruka. You may be strong but I'm stronger." The heat of his breath brushed against her ear with each word.

Hot tears of frustration pressed at the corners of her eyes as the full gravity of her situation began to set in. As her muscles went slack she rested her forehead against the wall. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because, somebody has to protect you and I'm the only person I trust to do that job."

His chest seemed to vibrate along her back as he spoke, and despite how much she resented him at the moment, Ruka couldn't help but feel her breath hitch at his close proximity. With his body pressed against hers, she could feel his heart pounding from exertion and each breath he took seemed to softly caress her neck. God, what was wrong with her that her body could react like this when she was so angry at him?

His hold slightly relaxed and his voice became gentler. "I'm sorry, but you have to come with me." His hand lightly trailed down her forearm, causing her hairs to stand on end. "You know I would never do anything to hurt you."

At the sound of a low whistle, Kain guiltily stepped away from her.

"Why don't you two save that for when you get there." Aidou teased as he carried Ruka's packed suitcase down the hallway.

"Shut up, Hanabusa." Kain uncharacteristically snapped at his cousin.

As Aidou approached, Ruka turned to look at her two closest childhood friends. Aidou still seemed to be his usual care-free self, but Kain seemed like an entirely different person, overbearing, stubborn yet undeniably attractive.

She stiffened as he took a step towards her, taking her by the elbow to pull her along. Angrily, she jerked her arm from his hold. "Alright, I'm going. You don't have to manhandle me."

Ruka used her last thread of dignity, to lift her chin and proceed in front of them, as if she was a princess being escorted, rather than a victim being kidnapped by two idiotically overprotective male vampires.

As they walked towards the garage, Aidou chattered away in a failed attempt to lighten the mood. "Ya know this is a good chance for you to take a break for awhile, Ruka-chan. Just think of it as a vacation. You'll have all this time to yourself. Just relax, take long baths, relieve some stress. You're really too tense all the time."

Ruka purposely ignored him, but as he threw her suitcase in the trunk of the black sedan and Kain opened the passenger door, her worry returned. "Just how long do you expect me to be gone for?"

Aidou shifted uncomfortably and avoided her gaze, while Kain just stood there, calmly holding the door. "Until this all blows over." He stated. "Now, quit stalling. Let's go."

Ruka gave Kain an incredulous look. "Until this blows over? How long do you expect that to take? It could be weeks, months, even years!"

Kain's jaw clenched with a look of forbearance. "Get in the car, Ruka." He ordered sternly.

"I'll never forgive you for this, Akatsuki. Do you _want _me to hate you?"

Ruka swallowed as a pained look crossed over his features, but then his face hardened and returned to an expression of infallible determination. "I can live with that if I have to."

"Come on, Ruka-chan. Don't be like that." Aidou took a step towards her, as if worried she would make another attempt to flee. "Just go with him. He's only trying to keep you safe."

Ruka gave each of them one final glance, as if taking them in for the first time. She had never asked for two older brothers, but it appeared as if they were going to act that way whether she liked it or not. With her shoulders slumped in defeat, she took that final step to the car and got into the passenger's seat. The door shut with a deep sound of finality before Kain got behind the wheel and started the engine.

As her ears latched on to the sound of his heartbeat, all she could do was pray that if she directed her frustration at him, this overpowering lust for his blood would soon go away.

* * *

**Please feel free to review and tell me what you think! I struggled a bit with this chapter in trying to keep everybody in character. I know Kain may seem a little mean but hopefully he's still sexy. :p**


	10. The Hunted

**Gyaaa, it took me almost a week to update. I'm sorry! This chapter made me feel like ramming my head into a wall. It's also very long, which I'm not sure is a good thing. **

**Also, I know I missed replying to some reviews and I just wanted to say thank you! I'll try to be better about replying next time. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of it's characters. **

* * *

The highway seemed to extend endlessly as Kain steered the sedan through a mountainous terrain of winding curves and steep cliffs. If he hadn't been a vampire, he probably would have appreciated the way the sun reflected off the bright red and orange leaves of fall trees. Instead, it only made the journey more strenuous and he had to squint his eyes behind shades of dark sunglasses.

With only a slight feeling of envy, Kain glanced over at Ruka, who had curled up in the passenger's seat and eventually fallen asleep. He had pulled down the visor in front of her to shield her face from the sun, but the bright rays of light still reflected on the long tresses of her hair, making it glint with colors of copper and bronze.

Before falling asleep, she had taken off her shoes and tucked her feat up beside her with her navy blue skirt coming just to her knees. Kain gripped the steering wheel, as his mind taunted him with visions of his fingers running along the milky white skin of her calves. It took every effort to focus on the road rather than gaze over at her like a besotted fool.

Watching her sleep had always been his guilty indulgence. It seemed to be the only time she was truly at peace, no longer holding the weight of the world on her shoulders. And now, with her hair down and her feet bare, she looked so young and free, like an innocent girl without a care in the world.

She had hardly even spoken a word since they left, just a curt "no thank you" when he had asked if she wanted to stop for anything. During the first several hours, her entire body had been uncomfortably tense. She had sat pressed up against the passenger door, as if she couldn't put enough distance between them. Maybe if she had at least vented her anger at him, this would have been easier.

Kain tried not to let his mind wander. A besotted fool was exactly what he was, an idiot in love with a girl who would never return his feelings. He had known she would hate him for this. That had practically been his goal, to play the part and prevent her from getting hurt by Kaname's cold-hearted decision. Mentally, he had tried to prepare himself, so why did it still have to hurt so much?

Tiredly, Kain lifted a hand off the wheel to rub his bloodshot eyes. He was pushing forty-eight hours with no sleep and fatigue had begun to wear on his senses. The only thing keeping him moving was a nagging sense that they were in danger. Even though they had moved quickly, he didn't like the fact that they were now exposed.

The faster they made it to their destination the better, but unfortunately, they needed to make a stop. If it had just been because of his exhaustion Kain would have pushed through, but the gas needle was falling to empty and a cup of coffee wouldn't hurt anything either.

They were in the middle of nowhere, and even though they came upon an exit surprisingly quickly, the gas station was a good ten miles off the main road. It was the tiniest station that he'd ever seen, one pump and a small building the size of a shack. The place was deserted, surrounded by nothing but uncivilized wilderness. Even though Kain took some small comfort in the fact that there wouldn't be people around to spot them, he still wanted to get in and get out quickly.

Gravel crunched under the wheels of the sedan, as he pulled in and slowed to a stop, but even as he cut the engine, Ruka stayed in a peaceful slumber. If she was even half as exhausted as he was, she probably could have slept for the rest of the drive, but they had been driving for almost five hours and this would be the last time she would get the chance to be outside for what could be a very long time.

Deciding that it would be best to just wake her up, Kain got out of the car and walked around to open her door. He bent down intending to give her shoulder a gentle shake, but as he closed that short distance between them, his hand seemed to have a mind of it's own. Instead, he found his fingers brushing the smooth skin of her cheek, as he moved chestnut strands of hair aside from her face.

"Ruka," He spoke her name softly. "We've stopped for a bit. Do you want to wake up?"

"Hmmm?" She sleepily sighed, turning slightly so her cheek pressed into his palm.

He should have moved, said something to wake her up or at least let her know it was him, but instead he just held his breath as she slowly reached up a hand to thread her fingers through his. As if in a dream, she turned her head slightly to nuzzle the palm of his hand. Such an innocent touch, yet the sweet gesture caused his heart to double in speed. Rather than pulling away like he should have, he relished in the feel of her warm breath on his skin as delicate tresses of hair tangled in his fingers.

But when her soft lips began to trail to the vein in his wrist, he instantly realized that this dream of hers did not have innocent intentions.

Reluctantly, he pulled his hand out from under hers. If this had been any other time or place, he would have easily indulged her subconscious urges. Unfortunately, he couldn't let her do that here and rather than allowing himself to touch her again, he simply moved the visor, letting the sun's rays fall on her face.

Ruka stirred, then grumpily rubbed her eyes. "What time is it?"

"Half past noon. I just stopped for gas."

She sat up, taking a minute to comprehend her surroundings, then glanced up at him with glazed eyes only half-way open.

"I thought you might want to get out of the car for a bit." He explained, removing his sunglasses and setting them over her eyes. "Sorry for waking you up like that."

The sunglasses were too big for her, barely resting on the tip of her nose, but she didn't say anything as she reached up to adjust them, pulling her hair out of the way. To stop himself from staring down at her, Kain busied himself with the gas pump, but as he removed the cap and placed in the nozzle, he watched her out of the corner of his eye.

Ruka got out of the car, running her hands over her sleeveless white blouse in a feeble attempt to flatten the wrinkles. Then she shivered and rubbed her bare arms.

"It gets cold up here in the mountains." Kain told her. "I'm sure Hanabusa packed you something warmer if you want me to open the trunk."

"No thank you. I'll just go inside for a minute." She dismissed the offer as she shut the passenger door and turned away.

Kain watched her as she went into the small building, wondering if she would ever say more than a few words to him at a time. He would have offered the leather jacket he'd left in the car, but she wouldn't have accepted it. Sometimes he got away with doing little things like that for her, but only if he remained silent. She was loyal but independent, not wanting to take anything she viewed as charity.

Kain let out a tired sigh as the tank finished filling, wanting nothing more than to get to this place and go to sleep. When they got there, she would have plenty of time to get over her anger. Despite the way Ruka always put up a hard front, he knew that deep down she was too forgiving to hold a grudge for long. It was a consoling thought, and he let it relax him as he replaced the nozzle and went in to pay.

A bell on the door jingled as he went inside. The space was cramped and dark, with the only light coming in from a dusty front window. He passed a small shelf of candy bars and junk food, moving towards where Ruka was standing in front of the counter. She had some fashion magazine in her hands and was talking to the cashier.

"Oh wow, I can't believe this!" The boy was saying, "You're a...I mean, I'm sorry, it's just that I hardly ever see other vampires 'round these parts."

Kain stilled, isolating each scent in the air. Sure enough this pimply faced kid was a vampire. Judging from his quite human appearance he was obviously not very high ranking, but still, what were the odds?

"Gosh, are you a noble?" He continued excitedly. "You must be. You sure are the prettiest vampire I've ever seen."

Kain inwardly grimaced, waiting for Ruka to tell the poor kid off.

Instead, he was shocked when she just smiled and said, "Thank you. How much do I owe you?"

Under a mop of greasy brown hair, the teenager blushed from ear to ear, obviously completely taken by her gorgeous smile. "Oh, I can't charge you for that. So, what brings you to the area? Are you going to be staying nearby? We should hang out some time."

Okay, so normally this didn't bother him. Kain was used to seeing human males and vampires alike fall all over themselves in the hopes of getting her to notice them. Sometimes he'd even teased her about it, telling her she should go out with them while knowing that she never would. But hell, he hadn't seen her give a genuine smile in weeks, and now she gave it to this pathetic excuse for a vampire. Maybe it was stupid, but it kind of pissed him off.

The kid's eyes widened as Kain stepped up behind her and looked the scrawny vampire up and down from his tattered jeans to his black Nine Inch Nails t-shirt.

Like a self-appointed bodyguard, Kain folded his arms and glared at him. "We're just passing through."

"Oh, of course you are." he laughed nervously, "I didn't mean anything by it, sir. It's just that it's lonely out here being the only vampire and all. So, uh can I get you anything else? Free of charge for you two of course."

"That's very kind of you." Ruka said to him sweetly, "Is there a restroom I could use?"

"Yeah, you have to go in from outside. It's just out the back door and around the corner. If you wait a few minutes, I could go clean it for you."

Kain brought is palm to his face. After they left, the kid would probably worship the ground she had walked on. Heck, he was surprised the idiot hadn't offered to mop the path from here to the bathroom.

"Oh you don't have to do that." Ruka said as she headed out the back door. "I'll just be a minute."

As Kain stepped up to the counter and insisted on paying, he heard crunching gravel as another car pulled into the station. The dark Crown Victoria parked on the other side of the gas pump and two men got out. They looked like FBI agents, both tall and wearing black trench coats. The wind blew, causing one of their jackets to blow at the sides revealing a holstered silver pistol.

Kain froze. That was no ordinary weapon. Even through the dirty glass window, his enhanced vision picked up the markings on the side of the handle. After having the bloody rose pointed at his face a few times too many, there was no way he could mistake it.

_Shit,_ How had they followed him? If there would have been time he would have cursed his own weakness. Trying to stay awake and staring at Ruka had become a dangerous combination, and now they would be forced to either fight or run.

He didn't even bother to say anything to the cashier as he instantly moved out the back door. Ruka was about to walk around the building, but he caught her just in time, grabbing her around the waste and covering her mouth with his hand. He didn't give her time to react, as he turned her so her back was to the wall with him standing in front of her.

At first she looked at him angrily but then he mouthed two words to her.

_Vampire Hunters. _

As the knowledge sunk in, her eyes widened in fear. She was smart, unlike other reckless vampires who did not truly realize the threat that vampire hunters presented. They were deadly assassins who trained for a lifetime to live up to their name. If a vampire were to underestimate them, it would be his last mistake.

Kain's mind raced as he quickly assessed the situation. There were two of them. One would go inside while the other walked around back in an effort to corner them. If they ran now, they wouldn't make it. Vampires were fast, but not faster than bullets. Better to remain silent and wait for an opportunity. If necessary, he could distract them while Ruka made a break for it.

He held his breath and listened to the sound of gravel shuffling under their feet as they approached the station. It was easy to judge their distance and the jingle of the gas station door sounded far too soon.

"Why are you here?" Came the sound of the kid's voice. "I'm not letting scum like you in this store!"

Damn, he should have told the kid not to do anything stupid.

There was a pause. "Is this one on the list?" One of the men said.

"No, but it seems like he's harboring fugitives." The other responded.

"Fugitives? I don't know what you're talking about! Don't you dare come a step closer!" The kid's voice started to shake with fright. "I swear, I'll take you on!"

Kain kept his hand over Ruka's mouth and closed his eyes, as he waited for the inevitable. His ears picked up the rustling sounds of a struggle proceeded by the metal click of a gun's safety.

"I didn't do anything wrong! Why are you..."

Ruka jerked in his arms, as the deafening gunshot rang out, echoing off of the surrounding mountains and leaving only a eery silence.

Almost instinctively, Kain cleared his mind. There was no time to dwell on the fact that the world was now less one vampire and he needed to come up with a plan. To kill two vampire hunters would be to sign his own death warrant, but these two weren't going to bother with an investigation. Sacrificing himself so Ruka could get away could be an option, but if he died here, she would never make it to the hideout and they would inevitably find her again. There were so few options.

An idea occurred to him, and if they hadn't been hiding silently, Kain could have laughed at himself for not thinking of it earlier. They were at a location that was practically drenched in a wonderfully flammable substance. The hunter association obviously wasn't as informed as he'd thought, because these two had just waltzed into his very own little minefield.

His blood rushed with heated adrenaline as he couldn't help but feel a thrill at finally being able to unleash his suppressed pyromania. He'd been itching to blow something up since Ruka had left with Aidou that night. Sure it might kill these vampire hunters, but he was betting they'd run as soon as they saw the flames. The only other downfall was he'd have to get Ruka out of here instantly and wouldn't get to enjoy the satisfaction of watching the place light up.

He moved before the two hunters could split up and make their move, ducking around the corner to open his hand and set off a trail of flames aimed directly at Kaname's sedan. The wall of fire shot across the lot, surrounding the car in bright orange flames as a thick smoke raised several feet into the air. The flames spread like a deadly virus, crawling along invisible paths of scattered gasoline and oil.

It was tempting to stay and enjoy the show, but even though he was immune, it didn't mean Ruka could survive it. He turned to find her already backing away from the fire, as if waiting for some signal to flee.

"Run!" He ordered.

It was apparently all she needed to hear, because she instantly turned and took off for the trees, with him right at her heels. To humans, they would have looked like two ghostly wisps, streaking through the air as they ran through the underbrush.

Kain was amazed that he actually had to push himself to keep up with her. Maybe he was faster, but Ruka was definitely more agile. Her small feet barely made a sound as she swiftly weaved through the tall trees, lightly skipping over dead branches. Meanwhile, he felt like an overgrown bulldozer as he barely managed to avoid tree trunks and mauled down shrubs with his shoulders.

At the sound of the distant explosion, she instantly went from a full out run to a dead stop as if she had hit an invisible wall. Kain had to dig in his heals and grab a nearby tree trunk to stop himself from running her over.

They were both out of breath, and he took the time to turn and look behind them. The explosion had sounded from a distance and it was too far away to be seen from here. Even if they had been closer, the thick foliage would have prevented a clear view.

Kain glanced down at Ruka, who was staring in the same direction. Her normally elegantly styled hair was windblown and tangled, and her cheeks were red from exertion. After what had just happened it was sick that his first urge was to grab her around the waste and kiss her and his mind immediately crafted an image of her flushed face and tangled hair on a pillow underneath him.

Before he could indulge his thoughts in that twisted fantasy, he turned away from her and started walking away. It was now more important than ever that he get her underground and he wasn't about to let not having a car stop him.

* * *

Ruka's feet were moving underneath her but her mind was a sluggish mess, as if it didn't want to acknowledge what had just happened. Bizarrely, her thoughts lingered on little inconsequential things: the chill in the breeze, a scuff on her blue leather shoe, the crunch of dead leaves under her footsteps. Kain didn't say anything, he just started walking as she followed him like an empty shadow.

Sometime while running she had lost Kain's sunglasses, but the tall trees provided a shield from the sun's painful rays. She stopped herself from apologizing for losing them, not wanting to sound as senseless and disoriented as she felt.

An indeterminable amount of time passed before her mind helplessly replayed the past events like a CD skipping to the same place over and over again. God, that poor boy. He was so young. Just an innocent teenager working as a cashier. He hadn't committed a single crime, but the hunters had shot him without hesitation, like he was some kind of rabid dog. If Kain hadn't caused such an effective distraction she was convinced that she would have been next.

But if she hadn't been forced to leave by Kain's stupid plan, this would have never happened. Kaname's mansion was infinitely safer. Now she was exposed, and it was more obvious than ever that the Vampire Hunter Association only wanted her cold lifeless body.

As the danger of her situation began to sink in, fear suffocated her with an invisible vice-like grip. She rubbed away the dampness of a cold sweat off her forehead. They had traveled too far to turn back at this point. It was probably better to simply go with him to whatever safe place he had found. Unfortunately, they were stuck in the middle of nowhere with no form of transportation.

"What are we going to do?" she thought aloud.

Even though she had barely whispered, Kain still heard her. "We're going to hike there."

That got her attention. "Hike? Are we that close?"

Kain kept walking as he spoke over his shoulder. "It's about forty miles from here."

"Forty miles! You think we can walk that far through this?"

"Any reason we couldn't?"

Ruka stopped as she thought it over. She supposed there was no reason they couldn't do it. It's not like they were human, but still, she had never really tested her endurance. Plus, it wasn't like they had a sidewalk. They were in the mountain's for heaven's sake!

"Isn't there a faster way?" She asked, her voice betraying her fear. "They're probably looking for us."

After walking several feet ahead of her, Kain stopped and turned around. "We can move faster, and I'm betting they don't know which direction we're heading."

Ruka climbed over a rock and jogged over dead leaves to catch up to him. "Do you have a map?"

"No."

"Well then how do you know the way?"

"I memorized it."

"You memorized it?" Ruka couldn't help but be a little impressed. "I didn't realize you had such a good memory."

"Only when it's something important." He said matter-of-factly.

"If my safety was so important to you, then you would have let me stay with Kaname." She voiced her opinion. "It would have been much safer there."

Silence was her only response and Kain just kept walking as she trailed behind him. He was probably too proud to admit he had made a mistake.

"Even if you memorized the map, I don't see how you could find your way through this mess." Focusing on how they would get there, helped her steer her thoughts away from how close she had just been to losing her life.

"I was planning to take you there and then go dispose of the car. So I would have been walking there anyways." He explained, over his shoulder.

"How were you planning to dispose of the car?"

"Pretty much the same way I just did."

"So what is this place we're going to?" She asked to the back of his head.

"An underground shelter."

Ruka rolled her eyes. "Well obviously, but how did you find it?"

"I didn't. Somebody told me about it."

Ruka glared at the back of his maroon shirt. His constantly calm demeanor could be so frustrating at times. It's not like she was asking him personal questions.

"Don't you think I have a right to know about this place you intend to hide me in for who knows how long?"

He didn't turn around but she heard him sigh. At least he wasn't a complete robot and could show some form of reaction. "You'll have plenty of time to learn about it once we get there."

Ruka gave up. Trying to get information out of him was like trying to interrogate a rock. Even as a child, he'd been stubborn. Aidou had always been unsuccessful at taunting him into doing anything. Kain wouldn't interfere in Aidou's mischief, but he wouldn't participate either. It was one of the qualities Ruka had always secretly admired. Unfortunately, now it meant she wouldn't be getting any answers.

Hours passed and Ruka was surprised to find out that hiking through mountain's wasn't as difficult for her as she had originally thought. When they came to a twenty-foot drop, she weightlessly landed on her feet and when they reached a steep slope, she could practically skip over it. After awhile she even suggested they move faster, wanting to get as far away as possible from the scene of that young vampire's cold-blooded murder. Kain simply said that it was better to keep a steady pace since they would be traveling such a long distance.

Ruka couldn't argue with his logic. What did she know about hiking through mountains? Nothing, that's what. Most of her life had been spent holed up inside, being fed by a silver spoon. It made her feel childish and spoiled, but when it came to traveling miles through the wilderness, she was certainly no expert.

The air was chilly, but the aerobic activity kept her heart pumping as her skin became numb to the cold. Not only that, but some of the scenery took her breath away, enabling her to distract herself from the odd notion that she was being watched or possibly hunted down. Crispy leaves gave up their last hold on life and fell to the ground at their feet while stark rays of light peaked through the towering trees. As the sun set, the sky lit up with a stern pink hue, and occasionally they would pass an area where the trees were sparse enough that she could stare at it as if the sky might descend on them, trapping them out in the wilderness like small prey.

It wasn't until much later that her adrenaline abandoned her for an ominous fatigue. She should have been relieved that she had been wearing flats instead of heels that day, but her shoes still weren't made for hiking. Even the smallest pebble or twig pushed at the thin leather and eventually the soles of her feet became sore. But she remained silent, unwilling to reveal even the slightest weakness. For some reason that she didn't particularly want to analyze, it became increasingly important for her to show Kain that she wasn't some weak damsel in distress.

As darkness sank in around them, it felt like her vampire eyes could finally open. Every minute detail became clear: the lines going through bark in the trees, the small grains of gravel passing under her feet. Red leaves became a vividly dark color of blood and protruding leafless branches formed into the shape of skeletal fingers.

"We should rest for a bit." Kain said as they came to a small clearing.

By this point, Ruka's feet were sore, but she didn't want to stop. The only thing that had kept her going was the idea that soon she could feel safe and hidden. "There's no need. I can keep going."

Kain looked down at her with soft brown eyes, absent of even a slight trace of anxiety. "I know you can, but I could use a break."

Now that he was facing her, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes and pale complexion. "How long as it been since you've slept?" She asked, feeling incredibly self centered for not noticing his fatigue earlier.

He sat down on the ground and leaned back against a tree, resting his elbows on his knees. "Since the other night."

There was no need to specify which night he was talking about, and she tried to hide a shudder that was brought on by the mere thought of it. Wondering if his confidence was all just an act she gazed at his closed eyes as his features relaxed. "Do you think they'll send helicopters or something to look for us?"

"They would have done that already if they had the resources. Now that it's dark it will be much harder to find us." He dismissed her worries without even a trace of concern.

Ruka rubbed the goosebumps on her bare arms as she sat down on a flat boulder. Since night had fallen, the temperature had dropped drastically. She now wished more than ever that she had taken out something warmer to wear from the trunk, like Kain had suggested. Enviously, she watched his chest rise and fall evenly as he relaxed into a partial slumber, completely unaffected by the icy temperatures.

Still feeling distraught, Ruka bit her lip. "I can't believe they just shot that boy like that. He didn't even do anything."

His eyes opened as he seemed to take in her anxious expression. "Try not to think about it. There was nothing we could have done for him."

"I don't know how you can be so level-headed." She said as she tucked her hair behind her ears with clumsy trembling fingers.

Now that they were stopped, the exercise was no longer distracting her. Fear seemed to mix potently with the chilly night air, and she pulled her legs to her chest as she tried to cover them with the flimsy cloth of her short skirt.

"Come here." He patted the ground in front of him.

She shook her head and hugged her knees tightly, not wanting to let herself accept his invitation.

"You're freezing." He stated. "Don't even try to pretend that you're not."

"I'm perfectly fine." She insisted, turning her head away and ignoring the fact that she was doing exactly as he'd told her not to.

"I guess I'll have to give you my shirt for the time being."

Her ears picked up a rustling of cloth and her head swung around to find him unfastening the first few buttons of his shirt.

"What are you doing?" She choked.

"Giving you my shirt." He replied as if it was a completely natural thing to do. "I can't just sit here while you freeze to death."

"Akatsuki, stop that!" She had already spent most of the day trying not to stare shamelessly at his broad shoulders and narrow hips. If he took his shirt off she would probably embarrass herself again and ogle him like one of the academy fangirls.

"You really give me no choice." He was saying as he reached the third button. "Those same caveman instincts that tell me to protect you also say I have to keep you warm."

She glared at him as he threw her words from the previous night back at her. "Fine, I'm coming! You don't have to be so ridiculous."

He leaned back with a look of satisfied triumph as she walked over and stiffly sat down on the spot he had indicated. Feeling incredibly uneasy, her spine remained rigidly straight, and she startled as she felt strong hands wrap around her bare shoulders.

"Relax," He said softly. "I'm not going to try anything."

His gentle command only made her tension increase as he slowly pulled her towards him until her back reached the warmth of his chest. In a desperate attempt to maintain some semblance of sanity, her eyes analyzed each crevice in the ground at her feet. Focusing on anything other than the way his perfectly proportioned body was practically surrounding hers took all of her concentration.

His elbows moved back to his knees and her eyes traced a neatly carved vein extend over his bicep and along his forearm only to level into a thin blue line at the white underside of his wrist. She tortured herself as she listened to his heart, swearing that she could actually hear the rush of blood through that vein. Her throat went dry even as her mouth watered.

As if reading her mind, he pulled his arm back and ran his fingers through her hair, from her scalp to the tangled ends. "I'm thirsty too." He said gruffly. "We don't have much farther to go. If you can wait there should be tablets there."

Embarrassed that he had caught her watching his arm like it was her next meal, Ruka quickly looked back to the ground, grateful that he at least couldn't see her blushing cheeks.

Several seconds passed in uncomfortable silence, as his inner heat seemed to radiate off of his body. It seeped into her exhausted muscles that had become sore from so much shivering. He was so much larger than her and with his legs on her sides he was like a warm blanket. She suppressed her thirst as much as she could and eventually found herself leaning into him, with her head resting on his shoulder even as her body thrilled at being so close to him.

"You're noble ability is quite useful isn't it?" She heard herself saying.

"Hmmm"

It was barely a response, but it caused a slight vibration from his chest as his breath brushed her hair. As an entirely different kind of heat pooled in her lower stomach, she found herself babbling in an attempt to create a distraction from their intimate position.

"I'm starting to think we nobles are far too pampered." She said pointlessly.

"What makes you say that?"

Ruka shrugged. "Well if you would have told me before that I could hike forty miles through mountains, I wouldn't have believed you. But it actually hasn't been that difficult. We haven't had anything to eat or drink and I'm not even phased by it. I bet I could make it another three days without food if I had to."

He chuckled, a low musical sound that made her heart skip a beat. "Are you going to test that theory?"

"Well, no, but I bet I could do it." She mused.

His fingers continued to thread through her hair. "Make sure you let me know if you decide to try."

"Why? So you can revive me if I collapse?"

"No, so I can handcuff you to a chair and force feed you."

Ruka couldn't help but laugh at the image that put in her mind, until it occurred to her that he could actually do something like that. The way he had practically kidnapped her from her own home was proof enough. When it came to saving her neck, he was relentless, even if he did have stupid ideas of ways to protect her.

"Akatsuki." She spoke his name seriously.

"Hmmm?"

Ruka fidgeted with the grass underneath her knees. "I..about the other night..well, I just wanted to say thank you for showing up and taking me home."

His hand stilled in her hair. "Ruka, you don't have to thank me for that."

"Yes I do." She insisted as she silently wished he would go back to caressing her hair. "I don't know what made you decide to find me, but I'm really glad that you did."

She felt him tense as his hands moved to grip her upper arms, almost to the point of bruising her but not quite. So strong was his hold that she had to strain her neck to turn enough to see his face. He was frowning and his chocolate eyes were dark with worry.

"Ruka, did he..." He stopped and swallowed. "How far did he get?"

In an effort to displace herself she turned back around, absentmindedly noticing how dark his fingers looked, pressed into the pale skin of her arm. "I...stopped him before he could do what he wanted to."

She had expected the knowledge to release his tension, and maybe it did a little bit, but he wrapped his arms around her stomach, pulling her into a close embrace as he bent his head over her shoulder. "I wish I would have been there earlier. I would have enjoyed ripping him to pieces."

The self-blame was evident in his posture and a strange inclination to console him came over her. "Oh, Akatsuki, how could you have known what was going to happen?" She asked him rhetorically. "You can't be everywhere at once. It's amazing enough that you showed up when you did."

"I worried when you disappeared for so long." His warm breath brushed her shoulder as his hands rubbed over the goosebumps on her arms, warming her blood to the point that she felt like she could melt into him. "Why did you leave? It's so unlike you to do something like that."

It was difficult to think with his slightly rough hands brushing over her skin, but words flowed out of her like water. Akatsuki had always been so easy to talk to. With him she could talk about things that she couldn't even bring up with other people. It was part of the reason they had become such good friends, she could tell him her feelings, and he could patiently listen without ever judging her.

"I don't know, I just wanted to get away from my parents I guess." Ruka confessed. "I wish I could be everything they want me to be, but I always seem to mess up somehow." When he didn't respond right away she found herself revealing her thoughts. "It felt so good to let myself be free even if it was just for one night. Now, looking back on it, I know I was being incredibly stupid. Rath than feeling sorry for myself I should just try to be better for them."

"No, you weren't being stupid." He told her. "You're perfect just the way you are Ruka, don't let your parents convince you otherwise."

He sounded so confident that he was speaking an absolute truth and she turned to look at him with her shoulder against chest. Air filled her lungs in a rush as she took in his caring expression and she almost shuddered from the pleasurable sensation of his hand slowly caressed her spine only to stop with his palm pressed on the center of her back. His heavy-lidded gaze wandered away from her eyes to rest on her slightly parted lips.

She held her breath. Was he going to kiss her? Did she want him to? In a manner beyond her control, her mind fantasized about what it would feel like to have those sensuously curved lips pressed against hers. The mere thought almost caused her to moan with a yearning beyond her control. If he wanted to, she wouldn't stop him. Rather, she would kiss him back without a second thought.

As if snapping out of a trance, he turned his head and almost forcefully took her by the shoulders again to push her away and stand up. "We should keep moving." His voice was oddly hoarse as he offered a hand.

Awkwardly, she took his hand and let him lift her to her feet. Then he turned and she followed him as they continued their journey in uncomfortable silence. She couldn't help but think that his actions were strange. After seeing his mind while drinking his blood, it was obvious that he wanted her. She hadn't tried to stop him, so why didn't he following through?

His strange behavior gave her something to distract herself with as she unabashedly watched his lithe movements, realizing that he was unaware that she was drinking him in with her eyes and lusting with a thirst that had nothing to do with blood.

* * *

**Ugh, I wash my hands of this chapter! So sorry it sucks, but feel free to review. I graciously accept criticism as well as praise.**

* * *


	11. Hidden Thirst

**Thank you for your reviews. It's wonderful to hear all of your thoughts. This chapter is kind of aimless in the beginning, but gets better towards the end. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of its characters.**

* * *

Ruka paced along the beige carpet of her new bedroom. The "shelter" was actually a fairly large home with high ceilings and a large open living room. After feeling immense relief at finally being hidden from any possible vampire hunter assassins, she had quickly become impressed with the architecture of her new temporary home.

It was hidden underground with a roof consisting of grass and shrubs. The only real entrance was a long rocky tunnel that looked like a small cave from the outside. When she had first seen that it actually was an underground shelter, she had worried that she would feel incredibly closed in without windows, but upon entering the bedroom, she discovered that it had a small balcony. A glass sliding door led out to a cement platform that was hidden by a waterfall gushing from overhead. The water was clear but it didn't let very much light in, just enough to be able to tell the difference between night and day. Also, the sound of the rushing water was soothing, and since moving in, she had latched onto anything that could provide the smallest relief.

Unfortunately, the inside decorations were absolutely atrocious. Grey walls clashed with beige carpets and hung paintings displayed poorly illustrated nature scenery. The first thing she had commented on when they had arrived was that whoever hired decorators for this place had terrible taste. Kain seemed to find something amusing about her statement, probably finding it funny that she cared about interior decorating in a place where there would be no guests.

She didn't care if he thought it was silly. The first thing she'd done was take down the paintings in her room. It left the walls bare but it was better than having to stare at god-awful artwork. At least the room was fairly large, and the furniture was functional even if it was gaudy.

She would have liked to have taken Aidou's advice and used the time to relax and enjoy some much needed stress relief, but something was dreadfully wrong with her. Kain was right about there being tablets here waiting for them. There was a large jar full of them in one of the cabinets in the small kitchen. The first thing she'd done when they'd arrived was gulp two down with a tall glass of water, not caring that Kain had watched her with a curious look.

There were enough tablets to last at least a year for the both of them, and she had been taking them like she was supposed to. The problem was they weren't working. Normally, she took two a day, one when she woke up at dusk and one before going to sleep. Since arriving at this hideout she'd been more than doubling her dosage. Still, the almost suffocating thirst had not gone away.

Ruka didn't understand what this could possibly mean. The thirst was different than she had ever experienced before. It was more sinister and intense. It was true that she'd been thirsty before, wanting blood but taking tablets as necessary, but now she craved blood like some kind of savage beast. The feeling was coupled with frighteningly violent dreams. Could this simply come from drinking blood for the first time? She didn't know. Growing up on tablets had not provided her with the knowledge or experience, and the fierce hunger scared her, made her think she had become something else.

At first, she'd wondered if maybe these tablets were different than others. This thirst could simply come from taking tablets that she wasn't used to. They looked like the same small white pills with the same numbers and letters engraved on one side, but after three days of taking them with no relief, she had asked Kain if they were different somehow. He'd frowned at her, telling her they were the same as the ones they had always taken.

Not wanting to appear foolish, she'd laughed it off and casually said that they just tasted different. Maybe they were stale from being stuffed away for so long, that must have been it.

Five more days passed, and her thirst worsened. She sense that Kain thought her reason for avoiding him was due to anger, and she wanted to tell him that wasn't the case. Unfortunately, being anywhere around him was almost unbearable. Even if they were only in the same room, her head would fill with the sound of his heart beating and she swore she could smell the sweet scent of his blood without even a scratch on his skin.

Having no other options, she'd simply increased her dosage yet again. Today, she had already taken five. Two at dusk and three only a few minutes ago, maybe she just needed to give it some time for the effects to kick in.

There was only one bedroom in the underground house and she had taken it while Kain had been sleeping on a large leather sofa in the living room. The courteous thing to do would have been to offer to alternate who slept on the couch, but this bedroom had become her only place to find solace. Like an ex-human vampire in her final moments of sanity, Ruka had caged herself in. Hiding in here seemed to keep her safe from doing anything she might regret. If she could just get through this temporary illness or whatever it was, her craving would eventually recede. At least this is what she was determined to convince herself.

Like an addict going through withdrawal, she had desperately tried to find things to distract herself. There was a bookshelf full of fiction novels, but she needed something more active, something to keep both her hands and her mind busy. Thanks to Kain's quick thinking, her clothes had been blown up along with the car. Sure it had been necessary at the time, but now it was incredibly inconvenient. The good part of her situation was that there was a dresser full of feminine clothing in her room. The bad part was that all of it was slightly too small.

During the day, while Kain slept, she had gone to hunt down a sewing kit and found a large utility closet. Calling it a closet did not do it justice. It was more like a mini-garage, almost as large as her bedroom and full of various things, most of which were completely foreign to her. Stacked among extra light bulbs and cleaning supplies, she'd found a kit filled with needles and thread. Feeling inspired, she'd dug around more and came upon a large cardboard box filled with cans of white paint along with various brushes and rollers.

Good, it would take her days to paint her room. The only colors available were a few different shades of white, but anything would be better than that awful flat grey. The box was large and cumbersome, but she'd managed to lug it to her room, only stopping occasionally when Kain stirred on the couch. She had been acting ridiculous, like a teenager sneaking around in the night, but she just didn't want him to see her like this. Sleeping while lusting for blood was nearly impossible, and she'd avoided even looking in mirrors knowing that there were dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a frazzled mess, not to mention that being close to him made her fangs lengthen and her mouth water.

After finally making it to the safety of her room, her earlier excitement at finding things to keep her busy had quickly turned to frustration. Growing up in a household full of servants had provided her with no knowledge of completing menial tasks. When she'd first opened the sewing kit, she had taken all of the needles and thread and laid them out on the dresser. Then stared at them with a sense of total loss. How exactly did one go about making clothes larger?

Thinking she needed to add cloth to the waist of something, she'd attacked a black t-shirt with a pair of scissors, then rummaged through the dresser in search of something she could handle. The material of jeans was too thick, which she learned by nearly shoving a needle straight through her index finger. Then she'd destroyed a skirt made of some flimsy material that ripped apart in her hands.

Finally, after what must have been a thousand attempts, she managed to add the cloth to the waist of a pair of dark brown pants, all the while cursing herself for not watching what she ate, like her mother had always suggested. When she tried them on, the material clung to her legs, and only fell to her mid-calves. Giving up on appearances, she cut them above the knee, creating very unfashionable cut-off shorts. Oh well, it's not like she would be entertaining anytime soon. At least they fit.

Now, she gazed down at her fingers. The pinpricks had healed but there was still residual blood dried to her skin. As her vision turned red, she hastily threw back three more tablets. Had she turned into some kind of monster? This was her own blood for heaven's sake! Like every other child vampire, she'd bitten herself once and quickly discovered that the taste was awfully bitter. It was a biological necessity that vampire's couldn't drink their own blood.

Wearing her newly designed shorts and a white men's button down shirt, she continued to pace along the length of the room, pulling furniture away from the walls and trying to decide where to start first. After her disastrous attempts at sewing, she decided to start with the least complicated wall first. The one without any doorways or light switches.

She quickly found that painting was much easier than sewing. After laying down an oversized sheet on the floor to prevent spills on the carpet, it took less than an hour to get the hang of it. Something about covering that dark grey with a soft white soothed her mind allowing her to suppress her thirst, although it still lingered under the surface. She was almost unaware of time passing, as she covered the wall from one side to the other, leaving a few feet on the top that she couldn't quite reach.

Taking a step back, she assessed her work. Already it looked better, even with the jagged grey chunk along the ceiling. Needing something to stand on to reach the upper half, she pulled the small desk over to the wall. The legs were a little unstable, but they supported her well enough.

She scowled at the high ceiling as she still had to lift herself up onto the tips of her toes to reach the top. It was difficult but she managed, and felt a sense of accomplishment as she pulled the desk over so she could finish the last section.

Of course, it wasn't until she was almost finished that the desk decided to quit its job. As she reached to paint the upper corner of the wall, she heard an ominous snap. She didn't even have time to react, and cried out as it fell to the side toppling her over with it. There was a loud boom as the desk hit the ground followed by a thud as she fell on her rear, bruising her backside.

"Dammit!" She cursed for probably the third time in her life.

Instantly, the door swung open. "Ruka! Are you okay?" Kain asked urgently, looking as if he was ready to pounce on any possible predators.

Ruka glanced up at him from the floor, thinking that she should laugh at the ridiculousness of him barging in when she only fell down from her own clumsiness. Instead, she found herself taking him in with a hunger that could only come from what she now called a depraved obsession. He was wearing some of the men's clothing they'd found in the closet of her room, and although the dark blue jeans fit his height, the black t-shirt was a little tight in the shoulders, accentuating his compact form.

"Don't worry I'm not hurt or anything." She said as she tore her eyes away from him to stand up and rub her bruised back side. "But I think I've permanently damaged my pride."

He stepped into the room, gazing down at her as if he'd never seen her before. Ruka flushed as she realized she probably looked awful. She had thrown on a white men's button-down shirt that she'd found in the closet. It was too large for her, but she'd rolled the sleeves up to her forearms and tied the excess cloth in a knot over her stomach. With paint splattered on her hands and legs she probably looked like she belonged in a mental institution.

As his eyes looked over her, she uncomfortably shifted from one foot to the other, feeling as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn't. "I know I'm a mess, but really, whoever picked the color of this room has horrible taste. I think white looks better, don't you?"

It took a few seconds before he made any indication that he'd heard her. First he blinked, as if snapping out of a trance, then he turned his head away to look at her progress. "Where did you find the paint?" He asked.

"In the utility closet. There's a ton of junk in there, I don't even know what half of it's for. " His calm stance and steady heart beat made her slightly nervous and with his red hair mussed and his feet bare, he looked like he had just crawled out of bed. The thought made her want to crawl back in with him, maybe even if it was just to discover if his hair was a soft as it looked.

To hide her base thoughts, she continued to babble, stringing words together aimlessly. "I found three different colors of white, but I picked this one because it has shades of pink in it. This room really could use a softer color than grey. What do you think?" She asked as she finally managed to shut up.

Instead of commenting on the new color, Kain just frowned and scratched his head. "There are different types of white?"

The corner of her mouth lifted in amusement. He'd always been clueless when it came to style and fashion. Secretly, she had suspected that Aidou bought half of his clothes for him. She could remember overhearing Aidou give him a hard time for not buttoning his collar or tucking in his shirt, saying that girls went for guys that were clean-cut. She'd never told them that she disagreed. With apparently no effort at all, Kain always pulled off a look that was very relaxed and attractive, but now that she thought about it, he looked the most appealing when he wasn't wearing any shirt at all.

Ruka tried to force that mouth-watering image out of her mind and remembered to answer his question. "Yes there are a lot of different types of white." She listed them off on her fingers. "there's cream, eggshell, seashell, ivory, linen, light champagne..."

"Okay." He interrupted her, sounding overwhelmed. "You know a lot more about this than I do."

Forgetting that she was supposed to be worried about her bloodthirsty appetite, Ruka found herself immensely enjoying his company. After hiding in her room for so long, it was nice to finally talk to him. "Did I ever tell you about our interior decorator?" She asked him.

He lifted an eyebrow. "No, you never did."

"Well," Her voice lowered as if she was about to tell him a dirty secret. "when I was little I would pretend I was sick to get out of my lessons whenever he came over. Then I would sneak out of my room to follow him around and badger him with questions." She said looking up at him deviously.

He barked out a laugh, filling the room with that deep musical sound. Hearing Kain laugh was such a rare occurrence. It hadn't really been her intention, but she was absurdly proud of herself for bringing it out of him.

"Weren't you the little trouble-maker." He teased as his laughter subsided, amusement still flickering in his coffee brown eyes.

"Oh you know I was never very disobedient." She insisted. "Besides, my mother thought there was something majorly wrong with me since vampires never really get sick. She wouldn't let me go outside for weeks and I had to suffer through a ton of doctor's appointments. So, I took that as my punishment."

He folded his arms and tilted his head to the side, as if reassessing her. "I used to wonder why your parent's would come over to Hanabusa's without you sometimes."

"Well, now you know." She said lightly, noticing that folding his arms caused the t-shirt to pull tighter over the lean muscles in his shoulders. Even as she felt embarrassed at her feminine appreciation of him, it surprised her that she didn't feel uncomfortable. Still, knowing his secret fantasies must have made this desire contagious, because she found herself wanting to trace the edges of his bicep with the tips of her fingers.

"So, tell me what you think." She pressed, interrupting her thoughts to gesture to her unfinished work. "I would really like to know your opinion."

His eyes looked over the wall, before falling on the broken desk. "I think you need a new desk." He stated simply.

"Akatsuki!" She barely managed to keep her voice below a whine. "That's not what I asked and you know it."

His expression softened as he turned to look at her and as his eyes met hers with a seriousness that was at odds with their conversation, she started to worry that he was trying to find a way to put her down nicely. He didn't respond for what seemed like forever and as time suspended in a moment of silence, she found herself wondering what he could possibly have to say that was so important.

When he finally spoke, his eyes never trailed from hers. "I like anything that makes you happy." He said softly.

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach unexplainably and she felt like she could drown in his somber gaze. How had this conversation taken such a serious turn? Her imagination must have taken over, because the idea that he had given her some kind of confession while simply telling her that he liked whatever color she chose was completely absurd.

"Oh." She managed to whisper, wishing her suddenly blank mind could come up with a more intelligent response. If only she could stop herself from craving his blood or having such lustful thoughts. Then maybe she could talk to him without becoming so distracted.

Still, there was something about his expression that gave her reason to pause. The mirth of their previous conversation was gone leaving a deep sadness, hiding under his secretive manner. She couldn't remember if she'd ever noticed it before, but right now she saw it clearly in his darkened gaze. It made her want to run her fingers through his hair and console him, to kiss away whatever it was that made him feel such unbearable torment. Such a strange inclination. Kain was poised and confident. Who was she to think that he would ever need consoling from her?

He gave a light cough, breaking the delicate silence like shattered glass. "Need help reaching that last spot?" He asked, his voice slightly coarse.

"Reaching what?" Ruka heard herself ask, then immediately shook herself out of her trance. "Oh, ummm...I don't think you can reach it either."

He looked at her oddly. "Actually, I was offering to help you do it. I may not know about different types of white, but I think I can handle lifting you up."

She could tell he was trying to lighten the mood while probably wondering why she was acting so strangely. Feeling like an idiot, Ruka rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand. "Of course, I could use your help. Sorry I'm so out of it."

"It's no problem." He said, turning to move the broken desk.

Like a mesmerized statue, Ruka watched him easily lift the heavy desk with one hand, moving it and it's broken leg to give them some space. His movements were lithe, almost graceful, with a hidden strength that only came with a very strong, yet undeniably attractive vampire. He straightened to give her an expectant look. "Don't you need to get a brush and some paint?" He asked.

Ruka blinked. "Oh, yes. Give me a minute."

While she gathered the supplies she would need, she scolded herself for acting so idiotic and nervous. He was just going to lift her up. It wasn't like there was anything sexual involved. Even though she knew he wanted her, she also knew he wouldn't try anything. When they had been sitting so closely outside, he had been the one to pull away. Really, there was no reason for her heartbeat to to speed up or her palms to sweat.

Dutifully, she grabbed her paint brush and the flat tin she had been filling with paint, then briskly moved to stand in front of the wall with her back to him.

"Okay, I'm ready." She said resolutely.

Knowing that he was going to touch her, she told herself not to let her imagination take off, but nothing could have prepared her for the feel of his warm hands as he wrapped them around her waist and lifted her up. The shirt she had tied in the front left her midriff partially bare, and his thumbs pressed into her back as his fingers touched the sides of her stomach.

_Focus. _She commanded herself as her skin heated with burning desire. There was no way she should mistake this for a sexual touch, but her body reacted on it's own, no matter how much she tried to tell it to calm down. Yearning welled up inside her and she bit her lip as she prayed that he wouldn't notice that her slightly shaking hand was barely managing to cover the wall.

His fingers seemed to burn into her stomach completely melting her insides and she knew he could hear the way her heartbeat was pounding, but it was beyond her control. They both remained silent as she worked and it took all of her concentration to not drop the paintbrush as she repeatedly dipped it into her container, reapplying paint asneeded. She had filled just enough paint in the tin box, and it was empty by the time she finished. After dropping the brush in the tin, she quickly looked over her work.

"Alright, I think that's good." Her voice came out breathy and uneven.

Slowly, he lowered her to her feet and she tried to convince herself that she should be relieved that they would soon separate. But she couldn't deny that she wanted him with an unabashed desperation. She wanted to feel his touch, wanted to run her hands over his chest, wanted to touch his warm skin. The desire was so overwhelming that she couldn't bring herself to step away.

So, she remained still, waiting for him to be the first to break contact, no longer caring that her body derived inescapable pleasure from even the most basic touch.

His hands relaxed but he didn't pull away. Instead he slowly raised them, inch by torturing inch, slightly lifting her shirt. Breathing became nearly impossible as his fingers brushed lightly over her ribs then lowered again to her stomach. He didn't speak, but she heard his heavy breaths, as if he was trying to maintain control. Maybe he thought she would step away, but there was no way she could move. His finger tips brushed over curve of her hips and she was captured by his patient yet tentative touch.

Her knees went weak as he gently stroked the skin along the waste of her pants, drawing an invisible line below her navel. She swayed unsteadily, unable to stop the onslaught of delicious sensations. Something about this should have felt wrong. He was her best friend, yet these tender caresses had nothing to do with friendship. Their relationship had infinitely changed but she was surprised to discover that she didn't even feel a hint of regret.

His head lowered to the curve of her neck, as he buried his face in her hair and deeply breathed in her scent. "Tell me to stop." He pleaded with a whisper as his hands raised to her ribs, inching closer and closer to her aching breasts.

But she couldn't speak, she couldn't even think. All she could do was lean back, letting him support her weight as his thumbs brushed the sides of her breasts. A soft moan escaped from her lips as each light touch caused tugs of desire to pull at her lower stomach. The world fell away and nothing else mattered, just as long as he would please keep touching her like this.

There was a loud crash as the tin in her hand slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor. He stilled instantly as if coming to his senses. Ruka's heart sank. This was it. He was going to pull away just like before.

As if hearing her predictions, he tensed and she felt him begin to step back. _No! _He couldn't stop now. Not when her skin was on fire and her body was begging to be molded to his. On a sudden impulse, she quickly turned to face him, gripping the front of his shirt to stop him from leaving.

Stunned, he stopped from backing away and looked down at her face, his eyes meeting hers. There it was again. That somber expression, showing a dark inner grief in the depths of his eyes. She couldn't stand it anymore. Nothing could be worse then seeing him filled with such sadness.

She closed the distance between them, bringing her lips a mere inches from his. Their breaths mingled and she finally allowed her hands to move up over his chest and his shoulders until her palms rested on his cheeks. Nervousness made her freeze in place, and as her eyes explored his features she noticed a white spec under his eye.

"You have paint on your cheek." She whispered as her thumb brushed over the spot.

He stared down her, shocked by her actions. "Ruka, I..."

She didn't give him time to finish, maybe to stop him from telling her not to, or maybe because she was worried she might change her mind, but at this point she couldn't turn back. All she knew was that he wanted her and that she didn't want him to get away. So she closed the short distance between them and tentatively pressed her lips to his.

He was so still as she shyly explored his soft lips that she thought he might push her away. Not wanting to stop, but unsure of how to proceed, she simply moved closer, letting the tips of her breasts brush up against his chest.

The effect was like adding fuel to a flame. He let out a tortured groan as his arms wrapped around her, pulling her against the length of his body. If her brain hadn't turned to mush she would have wondered at how their bodies seemed to fit together so perfectly, instead there was only room for thoughtless sensations as his lips hungrily opened over hers.

Although she had instigated their kiss, he quickly took over. Having no idea what to do, she was willing to follow his lead and when his tongue pressed against her lips she parted them in surprise. His fingers dug into the muscles of her back as he angled his head to the side and explored her mouth with his tongue, causing her passion to rise to a fervent pitch.

She had thought her desire was powerful before, but nothing could compare to this and with an eagerness fed by an uncontrollable yearning she kissed him back, wanting to experience everything that was him. Another low groan escaped from his chest as her tongue shyly brushed against his and she was hardly aware she was moving as he turned to press her back against the dry wall.

Impossibly, the passion in their kiss escalated further and she buried her hands in his red hair in an attempt to pull him even closer. Pressed between him and the wall, she could feel every detailed edge of his lean muscled body including his hard arousal nudging her hip. His leg pushed between hers almost lifting her off the floor and she uttered a helpless whimper as his thigh pressed the sensitive heat between her legs.

Caught up in the new sexual sensations, Ruka didn't notice at first that her fangs had elongated or that some of the heated desire was stemming from a dangerously hidden yet all too powerful thirst. It wasn't until her fang nicked his bottom lip and a small drop of his blood hit the tip of her tongue that one hunger ate away at the other.

Stunned by the thirst crashing through her chest, she stiffened and moved her hands to his shoulders. He was breathing heavily but she couldn't hear it over the deep thudding of his heartbeat that covered every other sound with it's sheer volume. In an attempt to catch her bearings, she opened her eyes to find the room had gone dark with a deeply disturbing blood red.

The monster lurking inside her had come alive, tearing through her weakened defenses and ripping her insides with it's claws. It commanded her to drink, to fulfill it's ravaging hunger for blood.

"No!" She cried out in horror, pulling away from Kain so forcefully that her head hit the wall.

Kain instantly froze, and she closed her eyes, turning her head to the side so he couldn't see that they had turned red. They had stopped kissing but he was still standing too close, his blood rushing under her hands.

"God Ruka, did I hurt you?" He asked, his voice coming out strained.

She couldn't speak. The insatiable thirst was raging through her veins, burning painfully under her skin. When his hand came up to push hair away from her face, her hightened sense of smell picked up the intoxicating scent of his blood even through the thin skin at his wrist. She jerked in reaction, squeezing her eyes shut tightly, as she pushed him away as hard as she could.

With his body no longer supporting hers, she let herself collapse to the floor, as she brought her knees to her chest and covered her face with her hands. She could sense him standing over her, his eyes witnessing her decrepit state. Oh god, she didn't want him to see her like this!

"Please, just leave." She begged earnestly, as she buried her face in her knees and squeezed her hands into fists. The thirst was becoming more and more difficult to control, ordering her to violently rip into his neck with her teeth. The grotesque urge floored her in it's intensity.

"I don't understand." He said, his voice raw with pain.

She kept her face hidden as hot tears streamed down her cheeks. "Please go." She barely managed to speak.

He stood there for several seconds as if not sure what to do. The terrible bloodlust would not recede with his beating heart in the room, and she silently begged him to leave her to her own misery.

Finally, she heard his footsteps put distance between them. Then the door shut softly as he stepped out of the room. The painful thirst didn't go away, and it instead amplified from a deep emotional hurt. She hadn't consoled him or taken his sadness away. Instead she had hurt him in a way that was so unforgivable. Her throat constricted and she had to stop herself from biting into her own leg. She knew he was still standing outside the door as a sob tore from her chest.

* * *

**The ending of this chapter nearly breaks my heart. :'(**

**But please let me know what you think.**


	12. Givers and Takers

**Thanks for your nice reviews. When I read the previous chapter I want to kick myself for not taking more time in certain places (mainly the juicy bits.) Oh well, maybe I was saving some for later. :p**

**I guess you know when it takes me a long time to update, it means I'm working on a long chapter and this one is another long one. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of its characters.**

* * *

Kain silently walked through the underground tunnel leading out of the shelter. It was pitch black, but his eyes easily picked out every detail along the rocky walls and ceiling. The fact that vampire hunters had come so close to catching them, a mere forty miles away, was something he just couldn't let go. His first thought was that they had been watching the roads leaving town and that he had simply been too exhausted to notice, but that explanation just didn't sit right with him. It was too simple, too unlikely.

Coming to this shelter may not have been the safest thing after a confrontation so nearby, but it had been the closest and fastest way to hide, truly the best option at the time. During their hike here he had decided to continue with the original plan. Seiren was supposed to make contact with him. Within the first two weeks she had said. It may not have been entirely safe for them to stay here too long, but he wanted to wait until that first contact, get a message to Kaname that they might need to leave.

His eyes scanned the rocky surface of the tunnel.. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, some kind of message, perhaps a sign that somebody had been here. Seiren hadn't said how she would make contact with him, whether she would send someone else or possibly leave a note. Hopefully, she would speak to him in person.

Kain thought of this as a small test for Kaname. If he had any true concern for their well-being, he would send Seiren herself to meet with him. She was a vampire who could stealth her way past searching vampire hunters. Any other course of action could put Ruka in further danger.

_Ruka. _Just thinking of her brought on mixed feelings of anger, confusion, and worry. He hadn't even caught a glimpse of her in the past few days. The only confirmation that she was even still there was the occasional sound of movement from her room. During the day, he would lie awake on the sofa, listening to her light footsteps sneak to the bathroom followed by the sound of rushing water from the shower.

It seemed that after kissing him, she had developed such an aversion that they couldn't even be in the same room.

Kain stopped and closed his eyes, replaying that night's events in his mind. From the moment he'd stepped into her room, he had been unable to look away. Throughout the years that he'd known her, he'd seen her in everything from her lacy nightgown to her black silk evening dress that made enticing swishing sounds as she moved, but never had she looked so adorable as she did in those little shorts and men's shirt, loosely tied over her flat stomach.

From the way she had shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, he knew that she must have sensed his desire to close the distance between them and touch her in ways that far surpassed the boundaries of friendship. For so many years he had been carefully treading that fine line between friendship and intimacy, only touching her when acceptable: a hug, a pat on the back, an occasional arm around the shoulder. Subconsciously, he had probably always been searching for excuses to touch her, but she had never acted strange about it until now.

He had been eying that alluring strip of bare skin revealed by the way her shirt had been tied just above her navel, and when the opportunity came, he took it, offering to lift her while foolishly telling himself he had no ulterior motives. Then his hands had come in contact with her cool skin, and all of his control had slipped away.

_Oh Ruka. _She had no idea that she was playing with fire when she had innocently placed her lips against his. Shock had been his first reaction, followed by bliss, then resulting in an animalistic lack of control.

Hell, how was he supposed to control himself when she moved against him like that? The fact that her touches had been innocent and shy only increased their potency. Each tentative brush of her tongue had sent him falling deeper into a mindless state of arousal and adoration. It was only a matter of time before the intensity of his lust frightened her.

But he wasn't the only one who had felt it. Her reaction had been naively open, and if he hadn't sensed her quickening heartbeat he would have managed to pull away. Just the thought that she may feel even a fraction of the attraction for him that he felt for her made his heart soar with elation. Something that had always seemed so far away had finally come within his reach.

As usual, his first reaction was to blame himself for the way it had ended, but he was far too analytic to believe that. He had gone through the events over and over again in his mind, and there was no denying that she had kissed him back and with a fervency that matched his own. So, what had gone wrong?

Confusion didn't even begin to describe his state of mind. The instant transition from a passionate kiss to the horrible sound of her sobs completely baffled him. At first he had been horrified that he might have hurt her, silently standing outside her door for almost an hour and wondering if he should go back in.

Eventually, he had decided to give her some time alone. Then, each passing hour had brought on a new set of emotions. He wondered if her decision to kiss him had been some kind of experiment, an innocent girl wanting to test the waters of sexual interaction. The thought made him feel used and exposed. She had drank his blood, seen his thoughts, knew that he wouldn't refuse. Maybe he would have to explain to her that he couldn't do anything like that if it didn't have meaning, not with her.

Kain's hand trailed along the rough edge of the rocky cave wall as he headed back towards the shelter. It appeared that there would be no message from Kaname tonight. It didn't matter. There were still four more days until the two week deadline was up. In the meantime, he would have to approach her, get her to speak. Their time here would be impossible if she couldn't even see him.

The underground house was dead silent as he returned through the hidden door. There were still no signs that Ruka had ever left her room. Underlying all of his mixed emotions, he had felt worried about her spending so much time alone. Ruka was quiet and composed but never reclusive. Also, she was anything but a coward. He had fully expected her to be the one to approach him, to bravely confront whatever it was that made her react the way she did.

His worry increased and his patience wore thin. Waiting more than three days was too much to ask. He needed to see her at least once, just to know that she was okay. It would be better if she could speak to him about it, but even if she was angry or scared it would be enough to sate his anxiety.

As usual her door was closed shut. He didn't knock at first and instead listened intently for any sign that she was inside.

Nothing.

That was odd. It was the middle of the night. She shouldn't still be asleep.

He gave a few soft knocks. "Ruka, are you up?"

No response.

He raised his voice slightly attempting for a firmer tone, "You can't avoid me forever."

Still no answer. Kain held his breath so he could listen carefully without the sounds of his own breathing. If she was asleep he would be able to pick up soft even breaths and the murmur of a beating heart, but not a single sound came from behind the door. He calmed himself before his imagination got carried away. She was probably outside on the small balcony and couldn't hear him over the waterfall outside. As a vampire, that was difficult to believe but it was entirely possible.

Knowing the door didn't have a lock, he casually turned the knob and stepped inside. The room was pitch black but he could see that the sliding glass door was partially open, letting the sound of streaming water fill the room. He flipped the light switch and gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the quick change, briefly noticing that she had finished painting the walls. Thinking that she had probably just stayed in her room in order to finish painting, he let himself relax and moved towards the balcony.

When he had just stepped past the bed, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He was shocked to find her sitting next to the bed. Her legs were pulled to her chest and her head was buried in her knees. It was the exact same position she had been in that night he had left her and he was crushed with the thought that nothing had changed.

Now, he could hear the faint beating of her heart, but it seemed that she was holding her breath. "You still don't want to see me." He said, trying not to let the fact that it pained him come out in his voice.

She didn't voice a response, but nodded slightly, still hiding her face from his gaze. Seeing her so fragile and upset in nothing but a sleeping gown that only came to her knees increased his concern exponentially. If only she would talk to him, but he knew from experience that she would only speak in her own time. No matter how much he tried to force her, she wouldn't open up until she was ready to.

Still, he needed to hear some kind of confirmation that if he left she would be alright, even if it meant another three days of loneliness. "I will leave if you tell me to." He said sadly. "But at some point we'll have to get passed this."

She didn't respond, but he noticed a slight tension in her shoulders. The stiffness seemed to contrast with her exhausted posture. He got the sense that she was drained, perhaps emotionally. The idea made him feel like he was being a nuissance, here bothering her when she so obviously wanted to be alone.

But he couldn't let it go. He so desperately wanted to reforge their friendship. It was clearly apparent that she didn't want him the way he wanted her, but if he lost her in even the slightest way he felt that there was no way he could go on. As always, he felt that friendship was far better than nothing.

"Listen, Ruka." He started. "We both know what you saw that night when you drank my blood, but it doesn't have to come between us."

As she remained silent, he swallowed down a thick lump of emotion, not wanting to continue but knowing he had to. "I've felt this way for a long time. It's..not something that you have to worry about." Unable to look at her small form, his eyes fell to the floor. "I would never...do anything you didn't want me to, but the other night I got carried away."

As she remained pale and still, he felt himself become increasingly uncomfortable. Could she not even respond to him? It seemed that she was even more disgusted with him than he had anticipated.

"Ruka," his voice came out in a whisper. "At least look at me."

"I can't." Her shaky voice was broken and strained, muffled by her knees. Even though she had only uttered two words, he allowed himself to feel a small measure of relief that she was finally acknowledging his presence. As a moment of silence passed between them, her tension seemed to increase and he noticed that her knuckles were white as she tightly grasped something in her hand.

"What do you have there?" He asked, taking a step towards her.

"No." She stiffened considerably, as he moved. Her voice raising with a hint of fear. "Don't come any closer."

Despite his normal composure, he found himself becoming increasingly frustrated. "Am I so repulsive to you now?" He asked.

She shook her head, wavy strands of chestnut hair sweeping along her legs. "No, Akatsuki. That's not it."

That statement relaxed him considerably, and his voice softened. "Then, can you at least tell me what's bothering you?"

"I can't be around you right now." Her voice shook with desperation.

The right thing to do was probably to just leave her alone, but his heart went out to her. He hated seeing her like this and just couldn't let it be. "Look at me, and tell me to leave and I will go." He stated, hating the fact that if she did as he asked he would have no choice but to follow through with that promise.

Apparently, it was too much to ask, because she only became more tense, closing in on herself as if wanting to become even smaller than she already was. What the hell could be bothering her so much? Was she sick or in some kind of pain? Nothing about this made any sense, and he took a moment to study her. Again, his eyes trailed to her small hand, tiny fingers straining around something in her grasping fist.

Worry overcame him and he moved closer, taking slow silent steps as if approaching a small injured animal. "Let me see what you have in your hand." He said, trying to keep his voice steady and gentle as his approach made her breath quicken in apparent fear.

Slowly, he kneeled down next to her, picking up her sweet scent and seeing that her skin had become a sickly white color. As gently as possible, he took her small hand in his, ignoring the way his touch made her jerk in response. She may not want him anywhere near her, but there was no one else here. If somebody was going to help her, it would have to be him.

He had to pry the small tin box out of her hand, but he didn't have to use much force. It seemed that she was weaker than normal, unable to resist even the slightest amount of pressure.

The box had a lid that slid open to the side. It was filled with little white pills, at first he had a choking sense of fear, worrying that she intended to do something irreversible. But upon analyzing the pills he realized they were only blood tablets. Still, why was she clutching them like they were her lifeline? It didn't make sense.

"You have been taking these right?" He asked, almost to himself, as his mind tried to make sense of the puzzle.

"It doesn't matter whether I take them or not." She said with a hoarse laugh lacking any trace of humor.

She was speaking to him, but still hiding her face from his gaze. It was then that little things started to add up, her pale skin, her too faint heartbeat, her quickened short gasps of breath.

"Let me see your eyes, Ruka." He said it like a command, letting her know that he wouldn't take no for an answer.

Finally, she lifted her head from her knees but she kept her eyes closed and turned her face to the side. He could now see the tension in the lines of her face, her jaw clenched and her lips thinly sealed. As he tried to brush strands of hair aside from her cheek she brought her hand up in a failed attempt to roughly push his away.

"Why do you need to see? It's obvious that you've figured it out." Her voice was low, scornful and condescending.

Kain took a steadying breath. So, it was true then. She was thirsty, possibly even to the point of starving herself if her weakness was any indication.

"When was the last time you took any of these?" He asked insistently, finding himself angered that she would let herself get to this desperate state. Was she trying to starve herself to death? Not taking blood in any form was dangerous, and the thought that she would do so on purpose frustrated him.

He took a couple white tablets out of the box, grasped her by the wrist and put them on her palm. "Take them." He said curtly.

Her head drooped weakly, as thick waves of hair covered her face from his vision. The salty scent of tears permeated the air. "There's no point." Her voice came out with choked finality.

Kain went rigid, hearing confessing words that confirmed his fear. "Ruka, I am not going to let you starve yourself. If you won't take these tablets then you will drink from me."

His heart skipped a beat as she slightly swayed to the side, then went limp as she seemed to pass out from hunger. Swiftly, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, forcing her to sit upright. Her head fell back against his arm, too heavy for her neck to support. It took half a second for him to take in her features: white skin pulled tightly against her cheekbones and lips almost blue. For the first time in his life, Kain panicked. God, if he didn't do something now he would lose her forever, and all because of he had left her alone for so long.

He propped her back against the side of the bed, letting go of her just long enough so he could pull his sleeve back from his arm before having to quickly grab her around the shoulders again to stop her from falling over. As her head toppled to the side, he pulled her so her back leaned against him then pressed his wrist against her cold lips.

"Drink." He ordered urgently.

Her eyelids fluttered as if she had heard him, but she fought him, turning her head away from his arm. It was amazing that she could resist even as her conciousness slipped away, but it only made his fear worsen as the thought of losing her caused his heart to stop. How could this have gotten so far without him even noticing? He had been a complete idiot leaving her alone for so long!

Without hesitation, he bit into his own wrist not even grimacing at the bitter taste of his own blood. The thick wet substance dripped down his arm, staining his shirt as he brought his wrist back to her mouth.

If this didn't work he wasn't sure what he could do. Maybe it would be better if he tried using tablets and water, but he wasn't even sure if tablets would work fast enough. Fresh blood would revive her and he needed to find a way to make her drink. Did he have time to put some in a glass and force it down her throat? It sickened him that it had come to this, but he would do whatever was necessary.

He pressed his wrist slicked with blood against her closed lips, shaking her limp body when she didn't respond. "Drink Ruka!" He tried to get through to her.

He had to place his other hand on her clammy forehead to keep her still, pressing his wrist against her mouth with more force than was probably necessary. As the dark red liquid covered her lips, she finally responded. It was like watching someone wake from the dead. Her eyes opened wide revealing their blood red depths, and her fangs lengthened considerably. Then, her chest heaved with a deep wheezing breath before before she savagely bit into his wrist.

If he hadn't braced himself he would have cringed at the pain. He had subconsciously been prepared for this, somehow knowing that in her current state she wouldn't be able to control her instinctive vampire's bite. Finally, he let out a long breath of relief as he heard her swallow down thick gulps of his blood.

The way she drank now had nothing in common with the night he had taken her home from the club. Her hunger was too strong, her vampire nature taking over for her own survival. The pulls of blood from his wrist were rough and relentless, each one stronger than before. Her hands wrapped around his arm in a vice-like grip, holding him still with a physical strength he had never witnessed in her. He probably couldn't have pulled his arm away without hurting her, not that he wanted to anyways.

He found himself stroking her hair away from her forehead, and running his hand along her back in a comforting manner. In a gentle tone of voice he said soothing nonsensical things to her: that everything would be alright, that he would help her get through this. Seeing her fall to this level tore him apart. She should never be this thirsty, this desperate for sustainance. He wasn't sure how she could have let herself go like this but he planned to never let it happen again. If she was going to try this again then he couldn't let her out of his sight.

Her sucking became less insistent as the intensity of her thirst must have slightly subsided, but still she continued to drink. The earlier pain quickly diminished, leaving only the pleasurable feel of giving blood to the one he loved. He leaned against the side of the bed as dizzyness from blood loss mixed with pure pleasure rushing his veins overcame him. His hand that had been rubbing her back now wrapped around her stomach as he held her tightly against him. The room swayed back and forth, but he didn't pull away, knowing that she would have to stop soon but wanting to give her as much of his blood as he possibly could.

Finally, when it got to the point that his vision began to darken around the edges, he attempted to pull his arm from her grasp. She whimpered softly, as her fingers tightened around his arm. The sound filled him with regret that he would have stop her. He wished he could give her more after she had been starving for what was apparently a very long time.

He bent his head to whisper in her ear, taking a moment to breathe in her sweet lilac scent and bury his face in the softness of her hair. "That's enough for now, sweetheart. I can give you more later."

She must have heard him, because she stiffened as if surprised to discover what she had been doing and pulled her head away from his wrist. Even though he would have passed out if she would have continued to drink, he felt a distinct sense of loss as her mouth broke contact. Emotionally empty and physically drained, he tiredly rested his forehead on her shoulder letting the room slowly sway to a still.

He sensed her studying the injuries in his arm. It was true she had bitten him viciously, tearing through muscle and surely leaving bruises, but he knew she hadn't meant to. Besides, it would only take a few more moments before the wound would heal.

"I'm so sorry." She said, choking back tears. "I didn't want to do this to you."

Maybe he should have been angry at her for foolishly letting herself get to this point, but he was too exhausted, too relieved that he wasn't going to lose her. "I'll be fine." He said, lifting his head from her shoulder as he regained his internal balance. "It's you that I'm worried about."

Silently, she watched the bite wound heal, the flesh coming together and the bruises fading away. After what happened the last time he'd touched her he should have learned his lesson, but he couldn't bring himself to let go and continued to hold her, his forearm loosely touching her flat stomach, his fingers brushing her side through the soft silk of her sleeping gown. He tried not to notice that the thin fabric was almost see-through, showing curves and shadows in places that accentuated her feminine form. In nothing but a white sleeping gown she seemed young and angelic, making him want nothing more than to kiss her and show her just how much she meant to him.

It would have been nice to stay with her forever like this, in blissful silence, but he could no longer wait for her to speak in her own time.

"Ruka," he said her name softly, as he asked the question that was burning his mind. "Why are you not taking tablets?"

Her fingers lightly traced the vein in his wrist, running along the sensitive freshly healed skin. That single touch caused almost electric waves of desire to rush through him, forcing him to hold his breath in an attempt to maintain his sanity.

"I never stopped taking them." Her voice sounded distant, as she continued absentminded touch.

Kain suppressed a feeling of hurt that she would lie to him. Why even try? It was obvious that she hadn't been taking tablets, otherwise there was no way she would have come this close to dieing from thirst.

Rather than confronting her with this, he tried another question. "Then how do you explain what just happened?"

He hadn't told her his thoughts, but she figured it out on her own. "You think I'm lieing." She whispered as if talking to herself then straightened her back and let go of his arm. "What do you think? That I did this to myself on purpose?"

He could feel her becoming angry with him, and his jaw clenched with frustration. "Well what am I supposed to think? I don't see you for three days and then I come in here and find you like this."

She pulled away from him, and he had to force himself to let go. With an energy that strongly contrasted with her earlier exhaustion she stood up and walked away grabbing a robe from the closet. Unlike the thin silky robe she usually wore, this one was like a thick blue towel covering her completely. He was disgusted with himself for being disappointed and hid it by grabbing the box of tablets off the floor and taking two out.

His strength was drained, and his body required replenishment. Not caring how it looked, he threw both tablets to the back of his throat and swallowed them. After standing up and placing the box on her nightstand he turned to find her clutching the sides of her robe together and glaring at him with something that looked like... jealousy?

"You're lucky they work for you." She said coldly.

He shrugged off her anger, thinking that she was just lashing out after having her vulnerability to thirst exposed. "They'd work for you too if you'd take them like you're supposed to." He said nonchalantly as he lifted a glass of water off the table to help them go down.

"I have been taking them!" She exploded, almost causing him to choke on the water as he lowered the glass from his mouth. "I can't believe you would think so lowly of me! How can you honestly think that I would try to starve myself?"

Shocked by her sudden outburst, he found himself staring at her in confusion. "I don't..."

"They're not working." She interrupted him, uttering those three curt words between clenched teeth.

"Not working?" He repeated dumbly, forgetting about the glass of water in his hand.

"Do I need to spell it out for you?" She said condescendingly. "Ask me how many I've taken today."

He coughed uncomfortably, setting the glass of water back on the table. Dealing with emotional outbursts was not his forté. Never had he seen her this angry, and he wasn't sure how to proceed. "Ruka, it's just that this is a little hard to believe."

"Ask me!" She insisted, looking at him intently.

Kain let out a sigh, thinking he might as well play along. "Fine. How many have you taken today?"

"Twenty." She stated, "Maybe more. I lost count after fifteen."

His jaw dropped. _Twenty? _He'd never heard of anybody taking that many in one day. One was enough to subside thirst for at least six hours and the thought of taking more than a couple at a time was almost unheard of.

"Now, do you believe me?" She asked, her voice still dripping with venom.

"Okay," he said, trying to get control of the situation and keep her from becoming even more irate. "When did this start?"

She ran a hand through her hair, tucking wavy tendrils behind her ears. "I didn't notice until we got here, but I think it might have started earlier. Maybe even before all of this happened."

Kain took a minute to take this in. If this was true then she hadn't had any form of blood for almost two weeks. Not since the night she drank from him for the first time. It would explain how she had gotten to such a desperate level of hunger. Plus, hadn't he seen her take tablets the second they had arrived? Now that he thought about it, he remembered noticing the way she had quickly gulped them down with a huge glass of water. At the time he had thought her thirst was merely caused by the exertion from walking so far, but it had seemed strange that she had been so thirsty after only one day without tablets.

Still, there was a lot that didn't add up. "Why would they just stop working? It doesn't make sense."

She bit her lip and averted her eyes, "I told you before that I've never done this before. I think maybe it's from drinking blood for the first time."

Kain forced his feet to remain on the ground as the temptation to cross the distance between them and wrap his arms around her became almost too much to bear. He had known that she was raised on tablets, had cherished the thought that her first time drinking blood had been with him, but he couldn't fool himself into believing that this could somehow make her dependent on it.

"There are plenty of vampires who have drunk blood before and continue to take tablets." _Including myself. _He left that last part unsaid.

"I know." She said with defeat, lowering her gaze to the floor. "But it was the only thing I could come up with."

No longer having the strength to stop himself, he crossed the distance between them and placed a hand on her shoulder in what he hoped appeared to just be a friendly gesture. "It will be okay, Ruka. We'll figure this out."

"Maybe we should go back." She said looking up at him with large hopeful eyes. "Kaname must know something. I'm sure he could help."

Kain's hand fell to his side as she demonstrated her clear desire to be away from him and back with her beloved pureblood. It made him feel sick to his stomach and he tried not to let the hurt show in his eyes. If it would have been possible, he would have given her what she wished, even though it would have tore him apart after the things they had done together.

"I'm sorry. I can't take you back yet. You know it's too dangerous outside." He said thickly, wondering when he could possibly tell her about what Kaname had done. Not now, not when she was this upset and troubled. Later, he would find the right time.

She sighed in acknowledgment, but lines of despair creased her features. "I don't know what else to do Akatsuki."

"It will be fine." He said with more confidence than he felt. "We will go back eventually. In the meantime, I'll take tablets and you'll drink from me."

Her mouth opened with a gasp, but no words came out for several seconds. He knew she was probably disgusted at the thought of having to do this over and over again with him, but there was no other option. He gave her time to take in this information, and she eventually composed herself and raised her shoulders.

"I can't do that." She frowned, her rose eyes darkening. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Hurt me?" He almost laughed at the ridiculousness of her statement. The feeling wasn't even remotely close to pain. Besides, he had to admit that he kind of liked the idea of her getting blood only from him. It stroked his possessive tendencies towards her to know that he would be the only source of something she needed to survive. He could provide this for her, and she would depend on him for it. It was sly and selfish, but he couldn't help but enjoy the idea behind it.

"Ruka, it doesn't hurt at all." he explained. "Surely, you know that from experience."

Her face became struck with pain as if he had physically hurt her, and he could have kicked himself for being such an insensitive ass. "I'm sorry." He quickly apologized, in an attempt to cover his tracks. "I didn't mean that like it sounded."

"Didn't you?" she asked and then went on without waiting for him to answer, "You must think I felt ecstasy when I gave him my blood. Maybe I should tell you about it."

Kain inwardly cursed himself for bringing this up. Hearing about this experience was the last thing he wanted to know. He wasn't sure if he could take it. "You don't have to explain." He said quickly attempting to stop her before she told him much more than he wanted to know.

"It seems that I do." She looked up at him, lips firm with determination. "I know it hurts, because when I gave Kaname my blood it was...painful."

He had been prepared to tell her it was normal to enjoy it and instead found himself frozen with shock. He hurt her? His surprise ebbed away before pure rage overcame him. The pureblood was powerful enough, if he didn't have the heart to let her enjoy it he could have at least numbed her from the pain. Kain's hands tightened into fists as he pictured taking his rage out on Kaname. He could kill him for this, for hurting her when it was so unnecessary then treating her like some kind of stray. Actually, killing a pureblood would have been impossible but he sure as hell would enjoy trying.

The only thing that stopped him from revealing his rage at the pureblood, was the fact that Ruka was still standing in front of him, holding herself like she had revealed a dark secret and was now embarrassed that he knew. Kain suppressed the strong desire to cause pain to the one who had made her think that giving blood was some kind of physical sacrifice. She had no idea that it could mean so much more than simply replenishing one's strength. In a way, she had been violated, her only knowledge of the act itself coming from one painful experience.

He had always wondered what would have happened if he had stepped in that night, but had told himself that he couldn't stop her from doing what she wanted. Now, he wished more than ever that he could go back in time and reverse his decision. Maybe she would have despised him for it, but she would have forgiven him eventually. He could have protected her from this, prevented her from developing this unnatural aversion to vampire intimacy.

Having no idea how to explain that Kaname had done something unforgivable, he simply pulled her into his arms, wishing he could shelter her from the damage that had already been done. "It's not supposed to hurt like that." He said softly, bending his head over her shoulder.

He became more confident when she didn't pull away and found himself running his hands through her hair, unaware that he was pulling it away from her neck. With her so close to him, he could feel her soft heartbeat and he couldn't help but feel the temptation that came with being so close to her vein. He had always wanted to bite her, but never from a simple requirement for sustenance. Now, he pictured himself biting her lovingly, holding her close while he tenderly sunk his fangs into her soft skin, showing her just how much she actually meant to him.

He stilled as he realized where his thoughts were heading. His fangs had lengthened and his throat had gone dry with anticipation. He would probably never have the right to bite her, but if he did he would be sure to make it a pleasurable experience for her, nothing like the painful sacrifice she knew.

Sadly, he pulled away. Even if he was allowed to bite her, he wasn't sure he would like what he saw. She was in love with another, and seeing that in her mind would make it all too real.

"You have to tell me when you get thirsty. Okay?" He said, managing to hide his lengthened fangs behind his lips.

She nodded, but he already knew that she wouldn't do as he asked. Her ability to restrain herself had astonished him and she would most likely continue to do so. At least now he knew why she hadn't approached him earlier. From now on, it would be up to him to watch her for signs, and take the initiative when it was time for her to drink. They normally took tablets every day but if she was getting fresh blood it wouldn't have to be quite as often. Vampire couples drank from each other every nigh, but she wouldn't want to do it that much. Probably she could make it by drinking once every few days, although more often would be better for her.

He only left her room after hearing her promise that she would get dressed and come out. In such a short amount of time, so much had changed in how he thought about her. She was stronger, braver than he had originally thought and even though he should have been thinking through so many still unanswered questions, it was impossible to withhold the thrill that came with the thought that she would drink from him again.

* * *

**I always make Kaname seem like such a villain and I don't really mean to. All I will say is that there is a lot more to his role in this story than what you're seeing from Kain's perspective. And just by saying that I've probably revealed too much.**

**lol I'm going to shut up now.**

**Please let me know your thoughts! I cherish your reviews. ^_^**


	13. A Whole New Light

**lol I think I was hungry when I started writing this chapter...**p

**Disclaimer: This fanfiction is free.**

* * *

Ruka scoured through the walk in pantry, looking for anything edible. Shelves were stocked with canned foods clear to the ceiling, each labeled with names that sounded decent in theory: tomatoes, beans, peaches, cheese...

There was such a thing as canned cheese?

Ruka wrinkled her nose. For two weeks, she had been living off of nothing but crackers and vegetable soup straight out of the can. While hiding from the scent of Kain's blood, she hadn't even trusted herself to stay in the kitchen to make food, not that she knew how to cook anything anyways.

Now, she had only gone two days without blood. Now, her thirst was manageable. Ruka swallowed as she eyed the can of tomatoes, wondering if they simply sounded appealing because of their color. He'd told her to let him know when she was thirsty, and she had agreed, but actually doing so seemed impossible.

She didn't want to go back to that dark place of endless thirst. Kain may not think she understood, but she knew she had been frighteningly close to death. A repeat of that experience was the last thing she wanted, but how could she ask him to do this for her?

He'd said it didn't hurt. Obviously, that had been a lie. Even though she had been barely conscious when her instincts had taken over and forced her to drink from his wrist, she remembered sensing his fear. At first she'd thought he was afraid for himself, that she would completely drain him, but after sorting out the feelings and images she'd seen, it became apparent that he was afraid for her. Afraid enough to lie to her so that she would be willing to do it again.

This is what she had decided, although it still didn't change anything. Her choices were to either drink from him again or die. The second choice wasn't an option and the first one only made her feel guilty for wanting to do it so badly. His blood was like a sinister drug, tantalizing and delicious, but requiring pain and sacrifice.

She didn't understand how so many vampire couples could drink from each other on a daily basis. It was one thing when it became a necessity or offered to someone who was in pain, but so many did it by choice. She simply couldn't understand it.

Actually, she could understand the temptation. If euphoria came in liquid form, it would taste like Kain's blood. Never had she ever experienced being so close to someone. Seeing his deepest thoughts while taking in his essence was an indescribable sensation. It was disturbing that something that would cause pain to another would give her so much pleasure.

As Ruka continued her search for decent food, the contrasting desires to drink his blood and soothe his pain did battle within her. Her stomach growled, as if to signal a triumph. Even though she needed blood to survive, she also needed to eat. Preferably "real" food. Well, if she could learn how to sew and paint, she could certainly take on cooking as well.

Ruka glanced down at her clothing. She'd barely managed to adjust a grey skirt enough to fit her around the waist. It was still too tight and was much shorter than she would usually dare, but with her limited selection, she'd decided not to try to lengthen it for fear that she would completely destroy it. Her shirt wasn't much of an improvement. It was just an oversized white t-shirt she'd found in a bin under her bed. Another day, another fashion disaster.

Okay so, maybe she hadn't learned how to sew, but that didn't mean she couldn't give cooking a try. The food wasn't going to cook itself, that was for sure.

After searching through cans and boxes for what seemed like forever, she almost let out a very unsophisticated squeal of delight when she found a recipe book. For the first time, she would actually have some direction in how to do what was supposed to be an every day task. Carefully, she flipped the pages, looking for something to make that wasn't too complex but didn't resemble anything canned.

A recipe for biscuits came with a picture that made her mouth water. Golden brown, crispy on the outside and soft in the middle. Two weeks ago she would have dismissed them in favor for a light salad with no dressing, but to hell with diets. When she got home she could return to eating nothing but lettuce and vegetables. After what she'd been through in the past several weeks, she deserved a hot meal.

Before even starting, she came across obstacles. They had to have all of the ingredients in this overstocked pantry, but it seemed that they came in different forms: evaporated milk, dehydrated butter. She supposed all this food was intended to last forever. There was no refrigerator and everything was tightly sealed.

Having no idea what difference the names of the ingredients made she simply followed the directions as best she could. She read over the recipe several times, pondering what it meant to "cut in" butter and "sift" dry ingredients. The thought occurred to her that maybe Kain would know, but she laughed it off. Maybe his parents had given him more freedom but they'd both grown up much the same.

Eventually, she gave up and just mixed everything together, impatient to get started, and too hungry to wait. The dough stuck to the counter when she "kneaded" it according to the directions, but she didn't give up and finally managed to pat it into small shapes, set them evenly on a pan and put them in the oven.

As she set a nearby timer for fifteen minutes she idly wondered where Kain was, then smiled to herself when she heard running water from the bathroom shower. Akatsuki seemed to operate without any type of schedule. He woke up at a different time every night, sometimes before dusk, sometimes not until midnight. It seemed he did shower every day, but unlike most people who ritually bathed either first thing when they woke up or before going to bed, he did it at completely random times. Like now, when most vampires would be eating dinner.

While her empty stomach seemed to cave in on itself, Ruka passed the time by cleaning up the horrid mess she'd made of the kitchen. As small as it was, the kitchen made up for counter space with an island in the middle, which she'd somehow managed to cover with flour along with everything else. She wiped off the counters and swept the floor, thinking that at least cleaning was something she could handle. Then, she anxiously checked the timer.

Still having ten minutes to spare, she found herself wandering to the living area which had become Kain's unofficial bedroom. Even though it was anything but private, it was the largest room in the house. There was a long leather sofa with blankets and pillows folded at the corner, a brown cushioned chair that had yet to be used and a coffee table with several books scattered on top of it.

Inexplicably drawn to the cozy area, Ruka found herself curling up on the sofa. It was still warm as if he had just gotten up and it smelled like him, earthy and masculine with a hint of pine.

Reading seemed to be the way he spent most of his time here. One of the books was marked in the middle with a folded page. Curiously, she opened to the page only to discover that it was another one of his boring history books. She could never understand why he enjoyed them, but for some reason it made her happy to know that there were books here for him to read. Absentmindedly, she wondered if he'd looked through the bookshelf in her room. She made a mental note to check for him, hoping she could find something he'd like.

Ruka lost track of time as she mused about silly little things. His shoes were on the floor. They were black leather, not really dressy but not tennis shoes either. She placed her bare foot next to one and had to refrain from giggling at the difference in size. He was so tall, it wouldn't surprise her if his feet hung off the end of the sofa when he slept here. When they had been kids she remembered him being kind of awkward and clumsy. Somehow she had missed his transition from a lanky adolescent to a graceful vampire.

His watch was on a small table next to the sofa. She ran a finger along the edge of it's gold face and thick leather band. It wasn't until she found herself wondering if it would fall off her hand if she put it on that she noticed the time.

She sprang off the sofa and ran to the kitchen, but she was already too late. The air was filled with the stench of burnt food and as she opened the oven a thick cloud of smoke escaped. Coughing, she managed to grab an oven mitt and take out the pan of now seared biscuits before practically throwing the pan on top of the stove with a loud clang.

Ruka uttered a curse as she kicked the oven door closed as hard as she could. Well, maybe not as hard as she could because that would have broken it, but hard enough to jam her toe. As she yelped in pain and grabbed her foot, Kain appeared, stepping around the corner.

"What's going on in here?" He asked casually, folding his arms and leaning his shoulder against the wall.

Having just stepped out of the shower, his hair was toweled dry but still wet at the tips and a darker shade than normal. None of the clothes here fit her, but his clothes seemed like they were made especially for him. The first few buttons of his shirt were still unfastened and the royal blue color seemed to bring out warm tones in his brown eyes.

But his composed and attractive appearance only increased her frustration.

"What does it look like?" She snapped, motioning towards the oven.

Nonchalantly, Kain glanced over at the charred biscuits and failed to hide a smirk. "It looks like you were trying to start a fire."

"I was _trying_ to make something decent to eat out of the pathetic excuse for food we have here." She seethed, wanting nothing more than to wipe that amused look off his face.

Kain took one step towards the oven, and eyed the burnt food as if it might spring to life and attack them. He coughed in a way that sounded suspiciously like it's purpose was to cover up a laugh. "I wouldn't eat those if I were you."

It was too much. Here she was, practically dressed in rags that she had spent hours just to make wearable and messing up the most basic cooking recipe. She might as well put a sign on her head that said "I'm a spoiled brat." Then, the one person she for some reason wanted to impress came in looking perfectly irresistible and laughed at her. Ruka couldn't remember the last time she had ever felt so humiliated.

"I can't do this, Akatsuki!" Her voice reached a higher than normal pitch as she launched into a tantrum. "I've been eating nothing but crackers and cold soup for weeks. I don't even know what half of the stuff is in the pantry and the recipe didn't make any sense." She flung her hands up to her sides. "I spent four hours sewing these stupid clothes and look at me. It's like I can't even dress myself!" Then, as if having all of her embarrassing faults put on display wasn't enough, tears welled up in her eyes. "Oh, I'm such a mess." she choked out, using a hand to cover her face.

"Where's this coming from?" He asked with a gentle tone, all amusement leaving his features as he crossed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms.

His hands rubbed up and down her back while big sopping ridiculous tears streamed down her cheeks, dampening the front of his shirt. She felt so stupid crying like this, but it was like every little dilemma she'd faced since coming here all piled on top of each other. She couldn't remember the last time she hated herself so much. "I'm just a..." she hiccuped. "spoiled rich girl."

"Wealthy vampire noble" he corrected, as if that was any help.

She buried her face in his shirt, wishing she could disappear. "I can't do anything on my own. It's pathetic."

"Actually, I thought you were doing pretty well." He said, his deep voice resonating from his chest.

Ruka sniffed, feeling like an over-reacting child. "Liar."

"I'm serious." he insisted, then cleared his throat before lowering his voice. "and I think your clothes are kinda cute."

At that she couldn't help but feel the corner of her mouth lift as her tears began to subside. She moved back just enough so she could look up at him. "You have weird taste."

His luring eyes met hers as he lifted a hand to her cheek and gently rubbed away a tear with his thumb. "I just know what I like." He said softly.

He may have just been humoring her, but at that moment Ruka didn't care. Everything he said to her was just so sweet, making her feel special even though she knew she wasn't. With his handsome face so close to hers she was sure he was going to kiss her, and if he didn't then she was going to kiss him just for being so nice to her when he didn't have to be.

Just as she was about to take that step and close the few inches between their lips, her stomach growled obnoxiously. More embarrassed than she could ever remember being in her life, Ruka's face flushed deep red as she covered her stomach with her hand, wishing she could shut it up.

Kain laughed as he stepped away from her. "Just crackers and soup huh?"

Maybe she should have been mad that he was laughing at her again, but instead she found herself thinking that hearing him laugh was worth the embarrassment. "Well you see what happens when I try cooking something."

"Yes, I can see how that could be a problem." He understated, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Ruka gazed at her failed attempt at biscuits with despair, thinking it would be nothing but soup and crackers for the rest of her time in this hell hole. Kain seemed to be taking everything in stride, as if he didn't quite grasp the full weight of the problem. Ever so calm and collected, he casually lifted the pan of burnt food with his bare hand. She stopped herself from warning him that it was still hot, immediately realizing that it wouldn't affect him.

As if he didn't have a care in the world, he moved to the trash bin, disposing of the burnt lumps that were supposed to be biscuits. Then he stepped to the sink, setting the pan down to roll up his sleeves and began washing his hands. "What are you in the mood for?" he asked, over his shoulder.

Ruka closed her eyes, wondering why the simple task of washing his hands could somehow be erotic, making her think of how those hands had brushed against her bare stomach not so long ago. In order to keep her mind busy, she imagined what she would eat if she could have anything in the world. "Steamed lobster with melted garlic butter and asparagus on the side." She said dreamily.

"How about lasagna?" His voice sounded more distant and she opened her eyes to find him looking through the pantry.

Ruka rolled her eyes, wishing she hadn't teased herself with thoughts of real food. "Yeah right, if it doesn't come in a can, we don't have it."

He ignored her comment, grabbing a few canned goods and setting them on the counter, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. Ruka eyed him suspiciously as he went back into the pantry. Just what did he think he was up to?

He came back out holding a can in each hand. "Spinach or meat?"

Ignoring the cans in his hands, Ruka looked up at him as if he had gone off the deep end. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Hmmm," he looked from one can to the other, his face masked with calm indifference as if he couldn't even hear her. "Spinach then." He decided, replacing the can of meat on the shelf.

Folding her arms, Ruka gave up on getting through to him. Instead, she watched his every move, waiting for the punch line. As he filled a pot with water and placed it on the stove to boil, her suspicion turned into curiosity and as he placed a frying pan on the burner and opened a can of minced tomatoes, it began to dawn on her that he was being completely serious.

Who was this person? He seemed so comfortable in the kitchen, finding everything he needed without having to fervently search through the cabinets like she had been doing earlier. Relaxed and seeming to enjoy himself, he mixed ingredients in the frying pan, adding spices after a taste test with a long wooden spoon. Eventually the water in the pot came to a boil, and he dropped a few dabs of some kind of oil in before adding the square shaped pasta. Ruka had no idea how long she mutely stood there watching him, but it wasn't until the tantalizing scent of bazil and oregano wafted her senses that it sunk in.

"Akatsuki Kain!" She suddenly burst out. "When did you learn how to cook?"

As he again lifted the spoon to his mouth, for another taste of the sauce, she thought he might continue to ignore her, but instead he gave her another one of his curt and uninformative responses. "Awhile ago."

Ruka found herself looking at him as if he was somebody she had never met before. He had always been quiet, but until now she had never realized that he was also secretive. "Why did you never tell me?" She asked.

Kain's uncaring attitude was completely unaffected by her interrogation. In an almost monotone voice he stated. "You never asked."

He was expertly evading her questions, but Ruka couldn't let it go. "Seriously, I want to know." She insisted, "Who taught you? When did this start?"

Leaning against the counter, he turned to face her, as if realizing the cat was out of the bag and he could no longer keep this secret to himself. "Nobody taught me really." He shrugged as if wanting to brush off the subject, "I guess I just learned by watching my mother."

Ruka smiled to herself. She should have known. His mother was the sweet and caring type, always making food whenever Ruka and Hanabusa had come over. The woman was short,rosy cheeked and slightly plump for a vampire. Now, Kain probably towered over her. Hanabusa had always gorged himself on anything she made, saying it was better than anything he'd ever had, but Ruka had usually declined. Unlike her own mother, Kain's mom had always tried to make Ruka eat, insisting that she was far too skinny for her own good.

Then, something occurred to her. "The egg salad!" She exclaimed with no explanation for her outburst.

"The what?" He asked, pretending to have no idea what she was talking about.

"The first night we were at the academy. I was complaining because I was hungry and the servants weren't there yet." She took a step towards him, putting the pieces together. "You brought me an egg salad, remember?"

Shiftily, he avoided her penetrating gaze. "Oh, the egg salad."

Feeling like she had unveiled the criminal in a murder mystery, Ruka stepped directly in front of him. "You made it." She stated, poking his chest with her finger to emphasize each word.

"Did I?" he asked rhetorically, under the pretense of confusion. "I can't seem to remember."

Still reveling in the glory of her discovery, Ruka didn't hear him. "You said you found it in the kitchen." Then she gave a dramatic gasp. "You lied."

Uncomfortable, with her insinuation, Kain shifted from one foot to the other, and slid out from between her and the counter to check on the steaming food. "Well I did find it in the kitchen." He said evasively.

"Yeah, after you made it." Oh he so wasn't going to get away with this.

Kain turned on her, pointing the wooden spoon at her nose, his face still calm but his eyes lighting up earnestly. "Listen. Don't you dare tell Hanabusa about this. If he found out, I would never hear the end of it."

Ruka laughed with delight. Just like her, Aidou had no idea how to cook. The difference was that he had a complete lack of shame when it came to insisting others should make food for him. A hilarious image of Aidou following around Akatsuki, ordering him to cook something came to her mind. Such power she now held over him!

"My silence is going to cost you." She said deviously.

With a knowing smirk, Kain was completely unphased by her threat as he turned back to the stove. "Well, I guess I can just throw out all this food then. It seems like you're not as hungry as I thought."

"No!" She cried out in horror, grabbing his arm to stop him.

He glanced at her hand on his bicep then looked at her and raised an eyebrow. Ruka gave a slight blush and quickly pulled away. "Okay, you win." She caved. "I won't tell anybody as long as you don't stop making this delicious smelling food."

A terse nod was all he gave to acknowledge their agreement and he turned back to the stove to dip the spoon back into the bubbling sauce. He lifted the spoon to his mouth, lightly blew on it, then turned towards her. "Taste." He said simply, holding the spoon to her mouth with his hand cupped underneath it to stop any sauce that might drip to the floor.

The tantalizing scent steamed to her nostrils and she closed her eyes as the end of the spoon touched her lips. The taste was amazing. "Mmmmm," she sighed as the flavors of tomato and oregano revitalized her taste buds.

As Ruka opened her eyes, she found Kain looking down at her, his chocolate brown gaze darker with a hidden intensity. Ruka felt as if she was standing on the brink of something that could change everything she knew. The tension between them seemed to crackle with electricity, giving the impression that the tiniest spark could erupt into a full blown storm.

Caught up in the moment, Ruka didn't realize that her eyes had trailed to his neck, watching a steady pulse beat through a blue vein.

"Before or after we eat?" His throat moved as he spoke.

"Hmmm?" She barely heard him as she ran a tongue over her distended fangs.

With one hand he set the spoon on the counter and with the other he lifted her chin with his index finger, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Do you want to drink before or after we eat?"

She could have pretended she didn't understand, but his meaning was blatantly obvious. Shocked that he would just come out and ask her, Ruka's eyes widened. Her body screamed at her to do it now, the need for blood suddenly overwhelming her hunger for normal food, but a nervousness held her back.

"After." she managed to whisper.

He seemed to accept this, turning back to the oven to turn off the burner. As he laid out noodles and a spinach mixture in a baking pan, he spoke to her over his shoulder. Telling her how long it was going to take, or something of that nature.

Ruka didn't hear him. Her stomach was tying in knots as her mind tried to take in the fact that she would drink from him again. _Tonight_.

"I should go wash up or something." She quickly excused herself, needing to escape from the sight of the supple skin of his throat.

Like a deer frightened by headlights, she scurried out of the bright kitchen and all but ran to the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind her. She was acting ridiculous. There were no other options and she couldn't put it off forever. She would have to drink from him eventually.

But that didn't stop the butterflies in her stomach or the deep sense of fear that she would hurt him. Stepping to the sink, she turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on her face. Everything felt so out of control. Even though she knew she couldn't stop her thirst, she fought it, desperately trying to maintain some semblance of sanity while her mind constantly trailed back to the irresistible taste of his blood.

It took several minutes before she managed to compose herself enough to leave the bathroom, but she still couldn't bring herself to be near him. Instead of going back to the kitchen she decided to wait in her room, thinking that a little time to herself would help her relax. Stiffly, she sat on her bed watching the clock on her nightstand, as the second hand clicked one notch at a time. They were going to eat and then she was going to do _that_ to him. She needed to suck it up, accept the fact that she was only going to do it because it was absolutely necessary.

Even though each passing minute felt like an hour, she still jumped out of her skin at the knock on the door.

"Ruka," Kain spoke from the other side. "food's ready."

She didn't know how she did it, but somehow she managed to pick herself up and steadily walk out of the room. Silently, she followed him back to the kitchen where he had set out two plates with square servings of lasagna on the island. There was no dining room or table, so they simply sat on stools at the counter.

Ruka looked down at the spinach lasagna that had seemed so delicious earlier. Now she was so nervous about what they would do afterwards that she wasn't sure if she could swallow it down.

"Don't look so scared." He said, sitting down across from her. "It's not poisoned or anything."

"Oh it's not that I just..." She started to hastily correct him, then stopped herself before she revealed the true reason for her anxiety.

From across the counter, Kain's knowing eyes met hers steadily. "I know." He said simply. "Eat now, worry about that later."

_Easier said than done._ Ruka thought, dutifully slicing a corner of the lasagna and taking a bite.

With the first swallow, her stomach grumbled happily. With the second, her insides warmed and the full onslaught of her original hunger returned. Forgetting about appearances, Ruka stuffed herself.

"Akatsuki, this is amazing!" She exclaimed, reminding herself to chew and swallow before speaking.

Rather than gracefully accepting her praise he gave her a look of warning. "Just don't forget our deal."

"Oh you mean the one where you have to cook every meal for me so I won't say anything to Hanabusa?" She teased as she took another bite. "Don't worry. I won't forget your secret."

With his fork still half way to his mouth he let out a long sigh. "I've created a monster." He mumbled to himself.

They ate in silence for awhile, before another thought occurred to her. "What about the cookies?"

"What cookies?" He seemed perplexed, but by now she had caught on that he was only feigning ignorance.

Her mouth curved into a sadistic grin. "Before the academy, you used to bring cookies when you and Hanabusa came over. I think we assumed your mom made them."

He frowned, pretending to be insulted. "Do I seem like that much of a grandmother to you?"

Biting her lip, Ruka hesitated. "Well...no"

"There's your answer." He stated curtly, signaling that the subject wasn't up for discussion.

As she finished her meal, Ruka found herself curiously watching the vampire sitting across from her. The fact that he knew how to cook seemed to embarrass him, even though he obviously enjoyed it. Apparently, cooking wasn't a hobby that was "macho" enough for a guy to pursue and after the way he had reacted to her questioning, she decided that this wasn't a good time to tell him that she thought it was cute.

She had been feeling relaxed, enjoying his company while finally eating "real" food that far surpassed her expectations, but as he took her plate from her to clear the table, her nervousness returned with full force. Even as her lurking thirst came to the surface, she found herself determined to avoid her fate.

She stood up to leave, but before she could make her escape, Kain turned to face her, taking one slow predatory step towards her as if ready to catch her when she tried to flee. Ruka attempted to keep a safe distance away, taking steps back until she felt the small of her back bump into the hard island counter.

"Ruka," he said her name seriously, calmly advancing on her one step at a time.

"Maybe I should do the dishes first or something." Ruka averted her eyes, pressing a hand against her stomach as if it would somehow untie the knots.

"You can't keep putting this off." His voice came out calm and unwavering, as the wall of his chest came into her vision, just a few inches away from her nose.

Ruka tried to steady herself with a deep breath. He was right. The last time she had avoided this it had almost killed her. Going through that again was the last thing she wanted. It seemed nearly impossible, but somehow she could avoid hurting him. Maybe if she did it gently but quickly, then it could be over and done with.

Despite, her decision to be quick about it, she found herself remaining still as her eyes lifted to his neck. The first few buttons of his royal blue shirt were still unfastened, revealing lightly tanned skin at the base of his throat. The top of her head barely came to his shoulder, and she wondered how she had managed to reach the vein before.

"You seem..." She tried to swallow, as he towered over her. "taller than before."

His hands moved to her waist, and before she could react he had lifted her up and set her on the counter so she was sitting in front of him. "Better?"

From this angle her head was even with his, maybe even slightly higher. Her voice left her and she could only nod as she found herself staring at his wavy red hair in an effort to avoid his eyes. She knew what she was supposed to do but her body felt like a dead weight and she couldn't seem to make herself move.

His hands squeezed around her hips in a comforting manner. "Why so nervous? You've done this before."

With her thirst becoming more and more insistent, it was difficult to speak, but she managed. "I...I'm just sorry I have to do this to you."

"It doesn't hurt, Ruka." He said softly.

She nodded again, still not believing him.

He moved his head slightly, bringing his eyes in front of hers, forcing her to stare into their brown depths. "When you bit me the first time, what was I thinking?" He asked.

Her face instantly went from a frightened pale white to a bright red. She couldn't tell him _that!_

"Okay. You don't have to tell me." He said making her sigh with relief that she wouldn't be forced to talk about it. "But if I was in pain, wouldn't I be thinking of something else?"

Her lower lip formed into a slight pout as she mulled this over. What he said did make some sense. After all, if she was in pain she was pretty sure sex would be the last thing on her mind, but for some reason that thought didn't relieve her apprehension.

Butterflies were fluttering in her stomach, but she knew she had to do it. So, she sat up straight and nodded, signaling that she was ready.

Silently he stepped closer, slightly tilting his head to the side. His vein was bared for her, pulsing along the muscles in his neck. The sight was enough to make her breath quicken and she raised her hands to his broad shoulders to steady herself. As she leaned forward, she breathed in his familiar scent of pine and freshly used soap from the shower.

He stood patient and still, as if willing to give her all the time in the world, but when her mouth was barely an inch from his neck, she hesitated. Just how had she done this before? Both times she had drank from him previously, she hadn't exactly been in her normal state of mind. Before, instincts had controlled her actions. Now, she had all of her faculties, and although her fangs had lengthened in anticipation, she wasn't sure exactly how to proceed.

After several seconds of still silence, he moved his hands, closing them at the small of her back to bring her closer to the heat of his body. "You can find the vein by the scent." He gently advised. "Or feel for the pulse with your lips."

Too thirsty to feel embarrassed about her lack of experience, Ruka did as he suggested, placing her lips softly against the supple skin. She only had to move slightly before she felt the pulse, and couldn't stop herself from impulsively biting him as her thirst took over.

The blood was tormentingly sweet, but she only managed a taste before it suddenly stopped. Uttering a frustrated whimper, she gripped his shoulders, not understanding what she could be doing wrong.

A strong hand rubbed up and down her back as he tried to soothe her. "You have to keep your fangs under the skin." He said, his voice hoarse. "Otherwise the wound closes."

_Of course._ She felt stupid for not realizing this earlier. It was yet another form of proof that she had no idea what she was doing. But despite her embarrassment, she couldn't stop now. After just a taste her body was practically shaking with need, her breath coming in difficult gasps.

This time, she carefully slid her fangs under his skin, biting him deeply but as gently as possible. The blood didn't immediately flow into her mouth like she had imagined, instead she found that she had to pull it out on her own by sucking against his skin. After only a few draws, he let out a long, deep moan, swaying against her.

Helpless to her body's demands, she clung to him, succumbing to her need for nourishment. Her original intention to be gentle was completely forgotten as she pulled his blood into her mouth with involuntary force, eagerly swallowing it down before sucking again. Like warm honey, it coated her throat, melting her insides yet revitalizing her skin in rushing waves of ecstasy. Unprepared for the overpowering sensations, she had no choice but to surrender to them, letting her emotions be carried along for the ride as her head spun in mindless circles.

If she hadn't been doing this with him, she was sure that she would have become overwhelmed and possibly even frightened, but he remained steady and sure as her body's need for sustenance instinctively took over. Never before had she been so dependent on someone for her own survival and she leaned into him, letting him support her weight, never ceasing her sucking. Solid and dependable, he held her through each crashing sensation as she submerged herself in the taste of his blood.

Images from his mind began to freely flow into her, dominating her thoughts until she wasn't sure where hers ended and his began. To him, she was beautiful in every scene: her face sweetly smiling up at him, then flushed from exertion on a pillow underneath him. His desire was so strong it became a tangible thing, almost smothering her in its intensity. In his mind, his hands looked slightly darker against her pale skin, running over her thighs, along her stomach, covering her breasts...

As she took a final swallow, Ruka pulled away in confusion, wondering how it was that his hands were still on her back, never having moved from their original position. She had felt his incredible urge to touch her, to move his hands over her body. How had he managed to stay so still?

This control he maintained in the face of all provocation really did him no good sometimes. He was torturing himself, digging his fingers into her lower back while his mind reeled from the temptation. If she hadn't just bitten him, she would have never known of the battle raging inside him. Having this new insight made her grow bold and she wanted to end his inner torment.

"Why do you hold back so much?" She asked, whispering against the skin of his neck as the two small puncture wounds closed.

He didn't answer. It seemed that all of his attention was focused on keeping himself under strict control. Her thirst had been sated, and she felt warm and relaxed, but he was breathing heavily as if he had just run a mile.

A single drop of blood had escaped from the now closed wound on his neck, dripping along his collar bone. Without giving it much thought, Ruka captured it with her tongue, licking the red line along salty skin, wanting to savor every last drop.

"Christ," he breathed out a curse, his hands gripping her hips impossibly tighter.

Sighing with gratification, Ruka rested her cheek on his shoulder, while idly toying with the unfastened buttons of his shirt, listening to his breath catch each time her finger brushed against his skin. Such constraint, such self-denial! She was sure that if she had been in his position she would have buckled under the pressure. His ability to suppress his reaction and endure his own torture simply amazed her. Maybe she should have been grateful that he could withhold his lustful compulsions, but she only found herself becoming more and more disappointed as each second passed without any action.

Finally, when her patience wore thin, she pulled back enough to look into his heavy-lidded gaze. "Akatsuki," she started softly, running her hands along his arms until they rested over his. "I want you to touch me...like you were thinking."

At that point he stopped breathing all together, and Ruka found herself wondering if she needed to shake him before he passed out. His hands were tense under hers, each muscle straining in rigid control. With a calm collection that contrasted with her pounding heart, she lightly trailed her fingers over his in an attempt to relax them.

Gradually, his fingers lightened their grip as he seemed to understand her intentions. She looked down at her smaller hands, gently holding his, marveling at the strength held within them yet feeling no fear that he would ever use it against her. With unhurried determination, she slowly slid them under her shirt, wondering if it was him or her who was slightly shaking.

The pads of his fingers were slightly callused, but their roughness only increased her sensitivity as she moved them over her stomach. Part of her couldn't believe she was doing this, but the other part begged her to continue. Later, the shock of her brazen actions would surely set in, but right now she felt nothing but a strangely calm acceptance, knowing that she was doing this with none other than Akatsuki, someone she trusted with the deepest respect.

With a slight timidity, she raised his hands over her ribs, feeling goosebumps cross her flesh as her nerve endings heightened in response to his touch. She left him there, unable to cover those last few inches on her own and instead moved her hands over the soft hair on his forearms in a subtle invitation. The thought that he might still refuse made her heart sink, and she closed her eyes, mentally pleading with him not to stop there.

As time passed in still silence, her original confidence ebbed into nervous apprehension, but before she could think of something to say to break the tension, he moved.

Tentative and slow, his fingers grazed her ribs covering that short distance with agonizing patience. She hadn't worn a bra for weeks now, since none of the ones here fit her, and her breasts ached from the lack of support even though she thought they were too small. But her feelings of inadequacy escaped her as his warm palms held the undersides of her breasts, and she sighed with pleasure, finally being relieved of their weight.

His hands were excruciatingly gentle, as he tenderly stroked the sensitive flesh. Gently, his thumbs brushed back and forth over her nipples causing them to bead into little hard buds. A breathless moan escaped her as pulls of desire tugged inside her stomach. The intimacy with which she allowed him to touch her should have filled her with shame as she sat on the counter like a naïve adolescent exploring the world of adults, letting him fondle her breasts.

But every tentative caress, every indulgent touch, only felt perfect and right. She was not a child, but a woman, a vampire who was inexperienced but mature enough to understand the meaning behind her actions. This person in front of her, this calmly composed vampire, was the only one who had ever brought her to such a state of arousal. Consequences be damned, they both wanted this. What reason was there to hold back?

Finally, she opened her eyes, wanting to take him in. Contrary to her impression that he was always controlled and collected, he seemed to be coming apart at the seems, his chest heaving as if every breath was a struggle. Leaning forward, he pressed his forehead against hers, as if he could no longer support himself.

"God, your so soft." He whispered with a long exhale, then covered her lips with his.

She had thought that the sensation of his hands on her breasts was more delicious torment than she could handle. That was until his mouth moved over hers, in one slow, exquisite kiss.

Oh but there was something to be said for being kissed by a patient man. He took his sweet time, leisurely brushing her bottom lip with his tongue, his movements lazy but deliberate. With a few gently persistent strokes, he parted her lips. Then, as if he had all the time in the world, he indulged himself with her taste, each languid brush of his tongue causing her to fall deeper into a mindless state of delirium.

Ruka honestly tried to follow his slow and steady pace, and for awhile she managed, letting him take control and responding in kind to his subtle demands. But she was not built with this ability to hold back with infinite endurance. Wrapping her arms around his neck she pulled herself closer, wanting to feel his heat along every inch of her body. Her legs spread to accommodate him as she wantonly pressed her thighs to his hips.

Releasing a deep groan, he wrapped an arm around her waist, pressing her to him with his forearm. His other hand remained on her breast, lightly squeezing her nipple between his thumb and index finger, while his mouth never strayed from hers. As the tugging in her stomach became ever more intense, Ruka lost all sense of being and kissed him back with a passion that betrayed her greedy impatience.

At that point, any pretension of control seemed to escape the both of them. With total abandon, she tightly held onto him and and as his hard arousal rubbed against the thin fabric of her slightly damp underwear she was forced to tear her mouth from his in order to let in a sharp gasp. As if he had completely gone over the edge, he ground himself against her, groaning has he trailed kisses along her cheek, her jaw, her throat.

Suddenly, he stiffened as the soft sound of movement came from another part of the house. It was barely audible, but they both heard it. There was someone else here, stealthily invading their home.

Kain was the first to move, silently pulling away from her, withdrawing his hand from her breast, and slowly lowering her shirt.

As the soft sound of careful footsteps moved closer, Ruka felt her heart pounding for an entirely different reason, but as the unknown stalker moved into the light, her fear was quickly replaced with astonishment.

"Seiren! What are you doing here?"

* * *

**I took extra care with the citrus in this chapter because I thought the the last time I wrote one it was a complete failure. Maybe it's wordy, but hopefully it's better?**

**Feel free to let me know what your thoughts! Hearing other opinions really helps me write.**


	14. The Weight of Deception

**I read over this chapter a billion times, well maybe not that much but a lot. It still isn't quite right, but there's a lot going on and I had to make sure everything added up since I can be such a stickler when it comes to plot. This chapter still seems a little disjointed to me, but there are reasons for every word, so bear with me.**

**Disclaimer: I'm writing this for fun, not for money.**

* * *

Slowly, so as not to draw attention to the position Seiren had found them in, Kain stepped away from Ruka. Not that any slow movement helped at all. What they had been doing was already blatantly obvious. Even if there had been no other evidence, the scent of freshly spilt blood lingered in the air like a smoking gun.

Dressed head to toe in black, Seiren showed no sign of shock or embarrassment, or any emotion at all. Like an empty shadow, she stood in the brightly lit kitchen, watching them with a void stare. "Maybe you would prefer it if I came at a later time." She said flatly.

_You think? _Kain thought sardonically. He had been waiting for the arrival of Kaname's operative for days, but now that she had finally arrived, he found himself wishing she would vanish just as quickly as she had appeared.

Ruka slid off the counter to her feet with distracting grace. With a pink tint to her cheeks and her hair slightly mussed, she looked like she had just been thoroughly ravaged. Well, maybe not quite as thoroughly as he would have liked. Errant thoughts entered Kain's mind as he imagined about a thousand other things he wanted to do with her and drinking her blood just happened to be at the top of the list.

Thankfully, Ruka's voice interrupted his oversexed brain. "Seiren, it's rude to comment on others' social indiscretions" She chided.

As Ruka held her chin high and brushed off her embarrassment with a haughty air, Kain found himself struggling to withhold a smirk. She had effectively taken Seiren down a notch and mollified the discomfort in the room. Trust her unfaltering sense of etiquette come in handy at a time like this.

All business, Seiren folded her arms, not bothering to remove her black knit cap. "I am here on Kaname's request."

Any traces of lust and amusement immediately vanished from his mind as he shot Seiren a look of reproach. They had an agreement. Ruka was not to know anything of Kaname's dismissal of her from his faction, not unless the information came from Kain's lips alone. Nobody else.

With a sickening look of hope, Ruka's eyes widened. "Kaname? I didn't even realize he knew where we were."

While somehow maintaining a robotic stillness, Seiren raised an eyebrow at Kain as if to say, _You still haven't told her?_

He scowled back at her, silently warning her to keep her mouth shut.

Unfazed by his glare, Seiren turned to Ruka. "He said I should express his concern for you in this matter."

She had voiced the words like a computer repeating copied data, but Ruka reacted as if they were sweet words of affection coming straight from that damned pureblood's mouth. He tried not to look, tried not to let it get to him, but it was impossible not to notice the slight softening of her features as she all but glowed from the idea that Kaname was thinking of her.

"Well, isn't that fucking thoughtful of him." The sarcastic comment came out of his mouth before he could stop it. But hell, after what they had just been doing, how could she still react like this?

Ruka folded her arms, no doubt preparing to scold him for cursing, but Seiren spoke before she could get a word out. "I can't stay long. Kaname is spending the majority of his time in meetings with the vampire hunter association, I must be back at 0700 hours to accompany him to another function."

"0700 hours?" Ruka mocked her, "Seiren, we're not in the military."

Seiren's normally stoic violet eyes gave Ruka a look of disdain. "That shows how little you know of our master's operation."

Knowing Ruka would be put off by that comment, Kain stepped in. "What information do you have for us?"

Standing at attention, Seiren faced him. "The Vampire Hunter Association is being compliant in their meetings but we've detected movement within their organization."

"Movement..." Kain mumbled the word to himself, realizing it meant exactly what he had expected. The vampire hunters were maintaining an appearance of peace but were sending agents underground to find them.

"Yes, for the past two weeks, Kaname has been attempting to distract their agents from this location. Which brings me to the next message." She paused, looking at Kain pointedly. "Kaname said I should express his disappointment in you for setting fire to a local gas station. It has created an uproar and made it more difficult for him to resolve this matter diplomatically."

"Well that's hardly fair." Ruka said indignantly.

The room went silent as both Kain and Seiren stared openly at Ruka. This had to be the first time he had heard her disagree with one of Kaname's opinions. Ever. Was this a sign of progress? He wasn't sure about he allowed himself to feel a little more optimistic.

"What?" Ruka looked from him to Seiren and back again. "It isn't. What else was Akatsuki supposed to do? We couldn't very likely kill them, and even if we could, that would have had far worse ramifications."

Not surprisingly, Seiren was the first to recover from Ruka's unexpected opposition to their leader. "Nevertheless, he said I should repeat his request that you please not do anything else to draw attention to yourselves."

Not giving a rat's ass what the pureblood thought of him, Kain steered the conversation towards more important problems. "They were able to follow us far too easily. I took the exact path you laid out. Even if they had been watching the roads exiting town, they shouldn't have been able to see us."

Ruka turned to him, her eyebrows raised in alarm. "What are you suggesting?"

"I'm suggesting that Kaname should check the secrecy of his so-called operation and that we should move."

"That method of action is ill-advised." Seiren warned. "We would not be able to monitor you and communications would become more difficult."

"So instead we should just stay here and wait for whoever told the vampire hunters the location of Kaname's mansion to figure out this location as well?" Kain suppressed his frustration in order to make his point. "No, we're leaving. I won't put Ruka in danger like this."

"Kaname said you might attempt this." Seiren calmly informed him. "He told me to tell you that if you leave here, you leave his protection. His exact words were that he will not accept anyone in the Kuran faction running around the country as fugitives."

_will not accept anyone in the Kuran faction..._

Those were carefully chosen words. To Ruka, it would sound like Kaname would simply be upset with them for being disobedient, but Kain immediately understood Seiren's meaning. If they moved on their own, Ruka would never be able to return. The threat probably extended to him as well, but at this point, he wasn't even sure if he wanted to go back to being under the pureblood's command.

"Yes, that would not be perceived well among noble society." Ruka said, easily jumping in on the subject of socially acceptable appearances. "We don't want to act as if we're out of order and afraid. People would assume that Kaname doesn't have control over the situation."

"He _doesn't _have control over the situation" Kain stated, grinding his teeth at the way Ruka was again showing her total devotion to pureblood. The mixed signals were boggling his mind.

"Akatsuki," She began with a placating tone. "Even if it's true that someone in the faction is working as an informer for the vampire hunters, I would be surprised if Kaname didn't already have his suspicions."

Kain knew that this was also likely, but he still had his doubts. Looking at Seiren, he asked, "Has Kaname said anything about it?"

"No."

Great. This was just great. It was obvious that somebody had penetrated Kaname's stronghold and the pureblood was acting as if nothing was wrong. Meanwhile, Kain was stuck out here, unable to discuss it with him.

Advising Kaname had been his main function ever since attending the academy. The job allowed him to see a side to the pureblood that was never revealed to the others. Sure, Kaname probably suspected that somebody close to him was secretly working for the other side, but Kain didn't doubt that the pureblood had no idea who it was.

"Listen, Seiren." He began with a commanding tone. "You tell him that he needs to flush this person out and quickly, otherwise we won't stay here."

She nodded. "I will relay your message to him. Is there anything else?"

"I have something to ask." Ruka said softly before lowering her eyelids and squeezing her hands together in front of her uncomfortably. "Well...I just wanted to know, how is he?"

That question tore through Kain like a knife piercing his heart. He wanted to yell at her, wanted to shake her for worrying over someone who had treated her like dirt. The urge to tell her every detail of his conversation with Kaname before they left was so strong he could almost taste the words on the tip of his tongue.

He said nothing.

Seiren responded as if she had expected Ruka's question. "Kaname is busy. He has devoted all of his resources to getting you out of this mess you've created." Showing more animation than Kain had ever seen in the mechanical vampire, Seiren gave Ruka a look of disgust. "I can't imagine why he bothers. The quickest way to resolve the problem would have been to eliminate you."

Before Kain could come to Ruka's defense, she responded with a swift come back. "Why do that when he has such a useful tool at his beck and call?"

Something flashed in Seiren's violet eyes before they returned to a dead stare. Hatred? The show of emotion was so brief he thought it might have been his imagination.

"Yes." Her voice lowered menacingly. "I am an excellent assassin."

Ruka feigned concern as her voice practically oozed with sarcasm."Oh I'm so sorry. How difficult this must be for you, being demoted to the role of a messenger."

To his surprise, Ruka successfully goaded Seiren into reacting. The white-haired vampire practically sneered at her. "At least I haven't reduced myself to his second source of blood."

With nothing short of fascination, Kain watched Seiren glare at Ruka with a display of emotion that he had never seen in the pureblood's lackey. It was then that the realization hit him. Seiren was jealous of Ruka.

It shouldn't have been something that was so shocking. Nobody was more dedicated to following Kaname than Seiren. She had always been Kaname's shadow, an extension of his right hand. It was unusual to see her without Kaname present and very rarely had she ever expressed independent thoughts.

As if she were totally unaffected by Seiren's vindictive comment, Ruka examined her nails. "Oh I suppose you could try to offer yourself to him, Seiren, but nobody wants to drink blood from a cold-hearted bi-"

"Ruka!" Kain stopped her just in time, shocked by what he was hearing come out of her mouth.

Seiren took a step towards here, her voice lowering dangerously. "Why don't you come over here and say that to my face."

It was becoming more and more apparent that these two girls hated each other, and if somebody didn't stop them this could turn into a full out battle. Fine, he was used to acting as a mediator.

"Why don't both of you just relax." He said calmly, stepping in between them. "You're both acting like children."

Somehow Ruka maintained an aura of dignity even in an oversized t-shirt. "See yourself out, Seiren." She folded her arm and began walking out of the room. "I'm sure Kaname can't wait for his puppet to return."

Kain expected Seiren to leave it at that, but apparently she couldn't help but get the last word in. "I'll be sure to tell him that his blood donor is getting a refill."

With her back to them, Ruka stiffened. Inwardly, Kain cringed. It had been difficult for her, living amongst vampires who all knew what had happened between her and Kaname that night. Everyone had smelt her blood that night and it didn't take long before the news spread. The way she had generously given her blood to him, and the way he had completely ignored her afterwards became a popular topic for gossip.

Yet, even while hearing her name spoken in whispers and hushed voices, Ruka had maintained an air of indifference, appearing unaffected by their cruel remarks. Very few noticed how much it had actually injured her.

But as she left the room there was another thought that bothered him, the thought that she wouldn't like the pureblood knowing what they had been doing before Seiren arrived.

Seiren's voice brought him out of his thoughts. "I have something for you." She said, returning to her emotionless state and handing him an envelope.

Too furious with Seiren to care what the envelope contained, he grabbed it from her without bothering to read it. "Don't ever threaten her life again." He warned, glaring down at her. "Next time, I won't take it lightly."

Seiren nodded in compliance, showing some form of intelligence if not fear.

As she turned to leave, Kain stopped her. "Be back here in another two weeks. If he sends anybody else but you, we're leaving."

She didn't respond, but he knew she had heard him. Leaving as stealthily as she had come in, she vanished out of the room.

Finally having a moment of quiet, Kain leaned against the counter and let out a sigh. He was completely torn. Part of him wanted to be back at Kaname's mansion, advising him and maintaining a sense of control over the situation. The other part wanted to have nothing to do with the sadistic monarch.

Before, he had easily followed Kaname, obeying his orders and trusting his judgment, but now he hated being on his property, wearing his clothes, following his commands. Even though they had left the pureblood's mansion, Kaname's presence seemed unescapable. It was in the dark decorations, the antique furniture, the excessive amounts of reading material. He was sure that Kaname had never set foot in this shelter, but the place still reeked of his scent. Being under his protection like this felt more like being trapped in a cage.

But it didn't matter. They couldn't move without the pureblood's permission and he had no choice but to wait another two weeks for new information.

Deciding that there was no point in dwelling on things that were beyond his control, Kain glanced down at the envelope in his hand. It was addressed to Ruka, not to the mansion, but to one of the outside locations that had been set up for them to receive mail. Above the return address were the names of both of her parents.

This was a letter for her eyes alone, but unlike any amount of fire, the thin paper burned his hand. He didn't want to read it. He really didn't want to know the cruelties that were in store for her.

He opened it, then skimmed it as if reading it quickly would somehow lessen the affect of the words. It was written by her mother. The harsh message contrasted disgustingly with perfectly elegant and proper sentence structure. They were _so sorry _for what had happened to her, but surely she would understand that their family could not withstand this disgrace to the Souen name. With _deepest _regrets, they informed her that she could not return home. However, since her mother could not help but be the _nurturing_ parent she was, Ruka would receive an allowance for the next several months to help her settle into her new life.

Cursing, he crumpled the letter in his fist. Even though he had known what it would contain, he couldn't help but be outraged. How could they treat her like this? It was as if she was simply a prop to them, an object that they spent years tailoring into the perfect decoration to show to the aristocracy. So easily they dismissed their investment.

The longer he put off telling her the harder it was going to be for her to accept. He kept on telling himself this even while he taunted himself with the idea that he could still protect her from it.

He had always been secretive, but never a liar. No matter how much he sugar coated what he was doing, he had to admit that he was lying by omission. This was the most difficult secret he had ever held within himself but it was equally difficult to let go of.

How would he begin? _Ruka, by the way, Kaname has kicked you out of his faction and your parents have disowned you._

He didn't even want to imagine her reaction.

No. He could fix this. It wasn't impossible. The problems were mounting at a break-neck pace, but he could control them, take them down one at a time.

Looking back down at the letter he didn't have a second thought as fire spouted from his palm, but instead of the usual satisfaction that came with the light of flames, he only felt a sense of foreboding as he watched the paper burn.

* * *

**I know, I know, its so much shorter than my previous chapters, but when I wrote that last sentence it just seemed like such a good place to stop. Anyways, I've already started working on the next chapter and I promise to dedicate myself to writing it so I can bring it to you within the next few days. **

**Thank God this plot stuff is out of the way so I can go back to writing citrus. :p**


	15. The War Rages On

**This chapter could easily be twice as long, but I wanted to bring you a faster update so you wouldn't have to wait. I sure hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of it's characters, but I'm in love with each and every one of them.**

* * *

Days passed and their situation remained unchanged. The evening after Seiren left, Ruka had been furious with him. Kain had expected it. He had been prepared for her demand to know everything he hadn't told her. As a new expert in deception, he placated her with bits and pieces of his conversation with Kaname. Yes, they were on Kaname's property. Yes, all of the clothes were too small because they were intended for Yuuki. No, he didn't have a good reason for not telling her earlier.

The one thing he hadn't expected, was Ruka's total indifference to the fact that this was all a part of Kaname's plan. He had thought that she would act differently towards him, more distant with the knowledge that they were in one of Kaname's homes, but in fact it was the opposite. Maybe he was deceiving himself, but it almost seemed as if she was relieved that he wasn't the one to blame for making her leave.

That was the extent of their conversation after Seiren left. Ruka didn't ask him anything else – no accusations, no interrogations. He knew that the things Seiren had said bothered her, but she didn't mention it and seemed to brush it off surprisingly quickly.

Actually, rather than being upset, she was more relaxed and easy going than he had ever seen her before. Gone were the ironed and pleated skirts, the carefully applied make-up, the perfectly styled hair. She no longer had that forlorn look in her eyes or the ever present tension in her shoulders.

It was like she had completely transformed. Often barefoot and dressed in a mix of tight-fitting and loose clothing that somehow became endearingly provocative, she would laugh and ask him if he thought she should start a new fashion. These days, her chestnut hair flowed in an exotic mass around her shoulders, as if she would just hastily run a brush through it, before scampering off to the kitchen and promptly asking for breakfast.

Now, sitting on the sofa, a smile crossed his lips as he pictured the way she would always dive in to anything he made for her. It didn't even seem to matter what it was. As if she had never had a full meal in her life, she would practically devour her food all the while teasing him about his talent for cooking. Judging from the way her skin practically stretched across her bones he wouldn't be surprised if she hadn't.

There was another oddity. He didn't have nearly as much experience with women as his cousin but he could swear she was flirting with him. Maybe he was just fooling himself, but his body never missed the light touches on his arm, or the way she would pull him closer whenever she drank from him.

Keeping a schedule of once every three days, he had given her blood twice since Seiren's departure. Both times, he had managed to keep his hands off of her, but just barely and the exchange of blood always resulted in an almost debilitating mix of thirst and lust. It wasn't that she wasn't willing, actually quite the opposite. He could sense her disappointment whenever he pulled away.

Leaning back against the cushions of the sofa, Kain closed his eyes as he fought against a quick rush of arousal. The desire to have her in ways she could only imagine was becoming more and more difficult to ignore. Lately, his brain seemed to have fallen into the gutter, because he constantly fantasized about the different things he could do with her naked, in bed, and uninterrupted.

He felt like a fool for not pursuing her. He was here, Kaname wasn't. The opportunity presented itself like glowing neon sign right in front of him. Hell, it wasn't that he didn't want to, but something always held him back.

He had almost been able to put the pureblood out of his mind, but then the conversation with Seiren had brutally reminded him of Ruka's feelings. While she had stood up for him about the gas station fire, she had also been obviously happy to learn that Kaname was supposedly worried about her. The affectionate way she had asked how the pureblood was doing...he just couldn't let it go.

Just how much of her heart still belonged to Kaname? Was she only acting this way because her true love wasn't present? If they were to go back tomorrow, would everything return to the way it had been before?

Kain tiredly rubbed his eyes as the questions piled on top of each other. He couldn't take this much longer. He had to know what she was thinking, had to know just where she thought this was going, if anywhere at all.

The thought had occurred to him to simply ask her, but he didn't even want to bring up the pureblood's name and even if she told him what he wanted to hear, he wasn't sure if he could believe it. Besides, there was always a much easier way to find out.

He could bite her.

It seemed like a treacherous way to find out what she was thinking. Sharing blood was something that was far too intimate to be used as a method of investigation. She deserved more than that after her previous experience. It should be done out of love and trust, not self-doubt.

But even as he felt disgusted with himself for even considering it, he knew he was going to follow through. The temptation to end this awful torment was just too strong and he couldn't keep himself in the dark any longer.

Lying down on the sofa, he listened to the silent house. She needed to drink again soon, but it was late and she had probably already gone to bed. Tonight, he would sleep and set his worries aside. Tomorrow, he would delve into her mind.

* * *

He dreamt that she was sitting next to the sofa.

He opened his eyes.

Like an angel from an ethereal realm, she was kneeling on the floor, watching him sleep. Not sure if this was a sleepy hallucination, he rubbed his eyes and looked again. No, she was definitely real.

"Sorry," Ruka said. "I didn't mean to wake you."

The idea that somebody had been watching him while he was asleep and unguarded should have bothered him, but instead it only seemed natural that he should wake up to see her rose eyes. Still lethargic, he sat up and tried to get his bearings.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily.

She looked to the floor, "Late, I should get back to bed."

But she didn't move. Instead, she just sat there, not looking at him and nervously wringing her hands at the base of her lace nightgown.

The minute he let his eyes gaze down at her, he regretted it. The room was dark, but now that he was fully awake, his eyes easily distinguished every detail of her curved figure. The neckline was slightly low cut, not overtly provocative, but from this angle he could see the the upper slopes of her breasts. The rest was disappointingly covered by the loose silk.

As he caught himself trying to see more, he forced himself to look back up to her face. It was too late. Early drowsiness mixed with the unusually erotic picture she made kneeling next to him went straight to his pants. Waking up to the sight of Ruka equaled bad news.

Leaning forward to hide the evidence of what was truly on his mind he asked, "What's bothering you?"

She kept her eyes averted, "Oh, it's nothing."

"Nothing?" He examined her closely, looking for signs of thirst. "You're up at this hour, sitting there, looking like your worried the sky might fall and you say it's nothing?."

Her lips curved in self-derision, "Okay, well...it might be something."

He waited without responding. From years of knowing her, he had learned not to pry. She would eventually open up, it just took some patience. In the meantime, he let his eyes wander. Her chestnut hair was slightly mussed from sleeping, or trying to anyways. It fell in lustrous waves over her shoulders, framing her soft cheeks and drawing his attention to her full yet delicate lips. He tried not to think about how they had felt under his.

She bit her lower lip. Yep, his head was officially in the gutter, because somehow his body mistook that absentminded movement as a sexual overture.

"The thing is..." She started timidly. "I've been having these nightmares."

That got his attention. "Nightmares?"

"Oh, Akatsuki," Her features tightened in distress, "They're just awful. I know you said when I drink your blood it doesn't hurt, but in my dreams it's so much more violent. The images are so gruesome." She shuddered. "It feels like when I sleep, I turn into a monster."

Seeing her so frightened, awakened every overprotective instinct in his body as if it thought this was some outside force he could shield her from. He wanted to comfort her, but he also wanted her closer to him, where he could assuage his irrational instinct that said he could protect her from anything that scared her as long as she was near him.

"Come here." He said gruffly, patting the cushion next to him.

There was no hesitation in her movements as she climbed up onto the sofa, and curled up next to him eagerly seeking solace. Not holding her would have been impossible, and he let himself wrap his arm around her so she could lean on his shoulder.

But he almost instantly began having second thoughts. A few weeks ago he'd managed to find clothes to sleep in, just loose fitting pants and a flannel shirt, but being that Kaname was a little narrower, it didn't quite button, and as she exhaled softly, her breath brushed against his bare chest revealed by the open front. Maybe it had been a bad idea to put himself in this position.

He was bending his head over hers, inhaling her sweet lilac scent when she spoke. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Remembering that he was supposed to be comforting her, he straightened, "It's easily explainable."

She lifted her head to look up at him quizzically, "It is?"

As he gazed at her confused expression, he was struck by how it was so odd that she seemed to know nothing about vampires. He didn't exactly want her to be experienced, but her parents had done her a disservice by not educating her of things that most vampires considered common knowledge.

"You're thirsty." He said simply.

Her brows drew together in adorable confusion. "Thirst causes nightmares?"

Nodding solemnly, he explained, "If you don't drink enough, your mind tries to achieve in dreams what your body needs."

As he watched her take this in, he began reconsidering how often she should be drinking from him Apparently, once every three days wasn't enough if she was having these nightmares. Maybe he should be giving her blood every other day, maybe even every night. The thought came with a rush of excitement that he tried to suppress.

She frowned. "I guess I've always taken tablets before going to bed, so that's why it's never happened before."

As if it belonged to somebody else, he watched his hand lift and brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes . This was all so new to her, but she accepted everything he told her about it. Her trust in his knowledge was sweetly innocent, and the warm feeling in his chest grew exponentially as he thanked whatever twist in fate it was that allowed him to be the one she was learning this with.

Lost in the flawless perfection of her features, he almost didn't notice the way her lids lowered as her eyes fell to his neck in a silent request.

"Drink then." He said as he threaded his fingers through the softness of her hair, angling her head towards his neck. "It will help you sleep." As if that was the only reason he wanted to her to.

His heart sped as her pliant lips delicately moved over his skin, searching for the vein the way he had instructed her.

But she no longer needed instruction. Instincts that had been buried inside her for far too long had become her best teacher. Now, she was an expert at seducing him with her bite.

In what was becoming a familiar battle, he tried not to drown in her spell, tried not to groan as her teeth sunk into his flesh. But as was always the case, his defenses became useless and she effortlessly sucked him in along with the blood from his neck. Defeated, he leaned back, pulling her with him as he lost his determination to fight and gave into the bliss.

God, he could get addicted this. He probably already was. But unlike a drug, the euphoric rush never diminished with each passing dosage. Each time she drank from him was just as exquisite as the time before and he didn't even want to imagine the effects of withdrawal. He could easily spend the rest of his life providing this for her, nourishing her in the way only a vampire could.

She snuggled up against him as she drank, squeezing the fabric of his flannel shirt in her small fist as if worried he might make her stop. Wanting to let her know she could take as much as she needed, he held her close to him, wrapping his arm around her slender frame. There was so little of her, he realized as his hand came in contact with her flat stomach almost completely spanning her from one hip to the other. Maybe she wasn't quite as small as some other girls, but compared to him she was tiny.

It didn't escape him that he was the only one she had ever done this with. This knowledge and her slight figure became a potent mix, and in a way that he hadn't thought possible, he found himself becoming increasingly possessive, so much so that it almost scared him. With unabashed selfishness, he wanted her all to himself–mind, body, and soul.

She must have understood that he would never push her away, because the tension in her squeezing fingers relaxed as she slowly released his shirt from her grip, but the feeling of regret that came with her letting go of him quickly diminished as her hand wandered to the bare skin of his chest.

Like an adventurer discovering new territory, her fingers explored uninhibited. It was as if she had forgotten that they were two separate entities and had lost all sense of where she ended and he began. He was burning. Sweat beaded on his brow as her cool fingers trailed aimlessly from one side to the other, studying every contour as if in fascination. It took all of his concentration, or whatever he had left of it, to keep himself still, not wanting to make her aware that his body wasn't an extension of hers, wasn't hers to touch and explore and do with as she pleased.

She was slowly killing him, her delicate fingers flowing like cool water over his skin. His breathing became ragged as her hand fell to his navel, lightly circling it with the tip of her nail. As if completely unaware of what she was doing to him, her fingers lowered dangerously, playing with the hair a mere inches above the waist of his pants. Maybe if she hadn't been so busy drinking, she would have noticed the rapidly growing erection, standing proudly, to his dismay, underneath his wretchedly loose cloth pants.

Her pulls from his vein became less insistent, but he was already lost. He hadn't realized he had been using one hand to hold on to the sofa, but when her finger traced one slow line along the waist of his pants, he let go of his death-grip. Moving his hand, he cupped the underside of her breast, touching a part of her that had been on his mind practically every minute of every day for the past week.

Intense didn't even begin to describe his state of arousal as the pliant flesh filled his palm. She was so perfectly formed, so soft and round in all the right places. Enraptured, he circled his thumb around her nipple, almost losing his mind as it formed into a hardened peak. Almost involuntarily, he squeezed it between his fingers, probably harder than he meant to, but she responded, arching up to him as she moaned against his neck.

He barely felt her fangs withdraw. "Oh Akatsuki," She breathed. "I love it when you touch me like this."

The way she said his name in a sensual sigh triggered every masculine nerve in his body. It was the sexiest sound he had ever heard. He wanted to make her say it just like that, over and over and over again.

Wanting to take her in with his eyes, he looked down at where his hand was molded to her breast, watching the distended tip press against the white silk fabric.

"They do this when I'm around you." She said.

"Do what?" It was amazing that he could actually put two words together.

"They get hard like this."

"Jesus, don't tell me that."

"And then they ache..."

"Oh stop."

"And all I can think about is how much I want you to touch them."

He silenced her with his lips, trying to stop her from feeding his fantasies by illogically creating a new one. He leaned over her with his hand buried in her hair. Any previous intentions to not repeat his past uncontrolled advances were completely forgotten as her hands reached around him to dig her fingers into the muscles of his back.

Everything about her drove him crazy – her flowery sent, her uneven gasps, her delicate skin. He kissed her as if he was starving, crushing his mouth against hers as he delved his tongue between her parted lips. She tasted like heaven, sweet and wonderfully seductive. If it hadn't been for his now pulsing need to have more of her, he could have survived for years on just the feel of her tongue brushing his with an innocently feminine response.

To feed his insatiable hunger, he angled her head to the side to deepen the kiss. Leaning farther so that she was underneath him, he pressed his knee between hers, somehow maintaining enough intelligence to not crush her smaller form with his weight. Between them, his other hand ran over every inch of her perfect figure, memorizing each curve and branding it with his palm.

It wasn't enough. Her nightgown became a frustrating barrier, blocking him from the delight of her bare skin. He steeled himself against the urge to rip it off of her, and grasped handfulls of the cursed fabric as he raised it. Unable to wait until he could bring it over her waist, he gripped her thigh, pulling her leg over his as he mindlessly ground himself against her hip.

Through his sex-crazed brain, it eventually registered that she needed to breathe, and he managed to drag his lips away from hers, only to trail them along the velvet skin of her throat.

His thirst came to the forefront, as he almost subconsciously wandered to just the right spot and pressed his mouth to her racing vein. As if he could capture the taste through her skin, he stroked his tongue over it, shuddering as he tortured himself with the prospect.

The sudden desire to drink from her didn't really seem that unusual. Instead it was a natural extension of the way they were progressing. He didn't need instincts to tell him that these two things went together. To hell with religious prophecies; sex and blood with none other than Ruka would be the perfect definition of heaven.

But even though he knew this was only natural, he hadn't counted on the need to crash through him like a freight train. Struggling to regain control he forced in a harsh breath, but the air only brought in her tantalizing scent, making organized thought and logic impossible.

Any previous notions that he could use this as a method to discern her thoughts vanished as his insides shook with hunger. The thudding sound of her heartbeat flooded his ears and his fangs quickly grew to vicious lengths.

He had to bite her. As if this was a way he could claim her, his every cell commanded him to do it, to mark her, to take in her essence and make her his. Struggling with something more powerful than he had ever faced before, he went to war with himself. The thirst fought and raged, threatening to win in the end, but he managed to stop himself from clamping down as his fangs touched her skin, just barely holding himself before he drew blood.

"Akatsuki?"

This time when she said his name, her voice was shaking and it was then that he realized that she had become frightened and stiff underneath him.

God, it wasn't supposed to be like this! He was supposed to go slow, be gentle, show her that he was doing this out of love not raw hunger. Instead he was ravaging her like an animal, acting just like the blood-sucking fiend that had hurt her before.

Shuddering he tried his voice. "Ruka," he grated with an unrecognizable sound. "I need to bite you."

She was silent for what seemed like an eternity as his face remained buried in her neck. Her hesitancy scared him, not that she would say no, but that she would say no and he still wouldn't be able to stop.

She took a deep breath, then slowly relaxed. "Okay." She decided. "I trust you."

* * *

**Yeah. That's right. I stopped there! Muahahaha**

**Actually, I don't usually stop in the middle of citrus because I get worried it will break up the mood, but like I said I just wanted to get this to you sooner. I hope it doesn't ruin it.**

**Okay, going to go work on the next one now. Please read and review!**


	16. Revelation

**hmmmm, I debated on whether or not to address the issue of Kaname's "evilness." I guess all I will say is that I do have plans for him and when he does show up in the story again I promise to keep him in character to the best of my ability.**

**It's always a little difficult for me to write this kind of stuff from the female perspective, so I kind of went with more of an emotional standpoint. lol, I could go on and on but it's just nervous babbling. I should just let you read it. :p**

**Disclaimer: This fanfiction is free.**

* * *

Even though she had said that she trusted him, Ruka waited with stiff apprehension. He was on top of her, his body taught and warm. There wasn't a single place where they weren't pressed together, and while he had been leaning into her, he hadn't been crushing her, seeming to be mindful of his weight.

Through his flannel shirt, she had been digging her nails into his back, overcome with a need that burned all the way through her, but now she found herself gripping him for an entirely different reason.

She knew it wasn't supposed to hurt and that he of all people would be the one to do it gently, but she couldn't stop herself from having second thoughts.

What if something was wrong with her? Surely Kaname wouldn't have tried to hurt her. Maybe she was genetically deformed, too prudish, or such a weak noble that her body simply couldn't react correctly to something that was supposed to be natural.

These thoughts raced through her mind even as he was hovering over her pulse, straining in his efforts to subdue what was obviously an intense thirst. Her feelings of inadequacy mingled with an undeniable fear, and she braced herself for a repeat of a painful experience that had marked the end of an innocent girl.

Suddenly, he became perfectly still, as if sensing her unease. "You're scared." He said, pulling his head away just enough to look at her.

His eyes had begun to turn red with thirst, but not dauntingly so. Instead, they had morphed into a deep auburn color. To a human it could have possibly been frightening, but her inner vampire reacted to it as if she was a magnet that could be drawn in by one heated gaze. He was almost shaking from thirst but was holding back just for her, and his infinite patience and concern only made him that much more appealing.

Oh how could she have known him all of her life but never have felt this way before? What had started as a small stir had blossomed and grown into something much more powerful. Strength had been on her side in the past, but this time she wasn't sure if she would be able to endure. If she lost someone to this yet again, she would completely break in two.

He was lifting himself off of her, apparently deciding to tolerate it rather than hurt her.

"No, wait!" She said urgently, wrapping her arms around his neck to stop him from leaving.

"I can't do it like this." His voice was strained as he braced his arms on either side of her. "Not when I scare you so much."

"I'm not scared of you."

With her face buried at the base of his neck she couldn't see him, but she could almost hear his jaw clench. "Don't lie. You're practically shaking."

"I'm not lying." She insisted. "I know you wouldn't want to hurt me."

"Ruka," he rasped her name as he pressed his mouth just below her ear. "I can't handle this. You smell so..." He drew in a sharp breath. "Christ, you have to let go of me."

She knew he was struggling, but she just couldn't let him leave like this, not when she wasn't sure if he would return. Tightening her grip, she tried to pull him even closer. "I just have to ask you something."

A helpless sound came from his throat. "Hurry and ask it then, before it's too late for both of us."

"If I do this..." She squeezed her eyes shut against the vulnerable feeling that opened her chest. "will you ignore me afterwards?"

He let out a long breath, "Oh sweetheart."

Her heart fluttered at the term of endearment.

When he moved again, it wasn't in an attempt to detach himself from her grip, but to sit down and effortlessly pull her into his arms. She probably should have been stunned to find herself in his lap, but deep down she thought it was actually a nice place to be.

His thumb caressed her cheek as he held her. "No. God, no." He answered her softly. "How could you even think that?"

His gentle manner only made her chest hurt more. "After Kaname..." she stopped short before bringing up something she shouldn't. "Well, you know. He just stopped looking at me. It was like I was invisible and I thought maybe it was something I did wrong, or maybe there was something wrong...with me."

She had to say it in a rush, because his fingers were lightly trailing along the side of her neck, sending little ripples of pleasure that seemed to go clear to her toes.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with you." He was saying, his tone so serious that she felt compelled to believe him.

"Then why..." Her voice cut out when his lips followed his fingers, moving slowly over her vein. Oh how was she supposed to think when he was driving her to such distraction?

"He was a fool. A complete and utter fool." His voice was hard, almost stern, but his mouth was gentle and his moist breath brushed her skin with each word. As she wiggled to get closer to him, something hard poked her leg.

He instantly grabbed her thigh, clenching it tightly as he let out a string of curses.

"Oh," She gasped, shocked by what she heard more than what was underneath her. "Those are some very bad words."

He gave a tortured but sexy laugh. "Just be still so I can do this right."

There was a right and a wrong way to do it? She wanted to ask him, thinking that she might have done something incorrectly without even knowing it, but then she felt the warmth of his tongue as he slowly licked the spot just above her pulse and anything else she had been about to say immediately fled from her mind.

She was expecting to feel his fangs shortly afterwards, but she should have known that nothing would rush him. Just like with everything else, he took his time, kissing and stroking until she thought she would die if he didn't just do it.

Finally, when she was on the verge of grabbing him by the head and smothering him, he stopped. Threading his hand through her hair, he pressed his fingers against her scalp and held her in place. Ruka parted her lips to let in one swift inhale before settling herself in preparation.

And she waited.

He seemed deep in thought, as if planning out every detail of the act before following through. The hand against the back of her head was gentle yet firm, probably keeping her in place to protect her from injury.

So she waited.

He held his mouth just above her vein, suspended with a total stillness that no human could maintain. Moist breaths brushed her skin, but were steady and even rather than ragged.

And then she waited...

Like a statue, he sat there, as if in some form of deep meditation. What was he doing, stalling like this? Maybe she needed to give him the go-ahead.

"Akatsuki..."

"Shhhhh."

He shushed her as if she had interrupted some important process. His concentration was probably admirable, but her pulse was racing and she thought that if he didn't do something soon she might loose her nerve.

God, why was she so anxious? Was this nervousness or perhaps apprehension?

No, she was waiting with none other than excitement. Even though her mind had been filled with the notion that this was going to hurt, her body seemed to disagree, and she was shocked to find herself arching up to him, tilting her head back in what she hoped wasn't a too blatant offering.

He spoke against her skin. "Relax."

"I am relaxed." She insisted, straining to get closer to him.

"You're incredibly tense," he argued, holding her still as his lips moved over her throat.

Frustrated with how difficult it was to speak while he continued to tease and seduce her, she latched onto his shoulders. "Well, if you would stop driving me crazy I could...ahhhhh"

After taking so much time with his own preparation, he finally, for some unfathomable reason,chose that moment. Maybe he thought to distract her from that first pierce, or maybe he'd just finished planning out in his head whatever it was he needed to, and maybe it did make it different.

Because it was nothing like she had expected.

He bit her so gently, as if he hadn't just been shaking with thirst. He didn't strike her with his mouth. He didn't clamp down with a force that would leave bruises. He didn't dive in like someone gone mad with starvation.

He had tenderly glided his fangs through her skin in one slow lover's kiss, and she was unable to withhold a soft moan at the sheer intimacy. His heart was pounding against her, but he began slowly, gradually taking her in as if wanting to be sure she was ready. One pull, then two, and she was already floating – coasting on waves that matched the steady rhythm. Stunned, she held onto him, as if waiting for this dream to end and the reality of the act to kick in.

But it was not the same as before. She didn't feel like she was being invaded and drained. She wasn't paralyzed with fear. She wasn't becoming dizzy or feint. She wasn't helplessly begging him to stop.

Overwhelmed by the unexpected pleasure, her body went limp, her tension melting until she became a malleable substance that he could shape and move and bend to his will if he chose to.

But, of course, he didn't. He just held her securely against him, drinking at a pace that must have been difficult to maintain, his chest murmuring with little groans of pleasure between swallows. The transfer of blood seemed to flow in steady undercurrents. Like warm liquid, it swirled and circulated through her before willingly giving in to his gentle persuasion.

Somewhere along the course of her life she had managed to deeply misunderstand the meanings behind this behavior. This was not a simple exchange. It was not about sacrificing oneself for some foolish cause. Never had she felt such open attachment, such deep connection. With a sense of enlightenment, she opened her heart to what she could only describe as a merging of souls and became instantly humbled by it's magnificence.

She felt like sobbing. She felt like laughing. The rollercoaster that ensued was something that was so far beyond her control that she thought she might collapse into a heaping ball of emotions. Was this normal? Was it supposed to be so wonderful? If she hadn't been buzzing with pleasure she could have questioned it more, but all she could do was let herself be taken along for the ride as her heart flooded with glowing affection.

He had immersed himself in her taste, never stopping his steady draws, but his hand was stroking her side in long fluid movements as if he was still worried that she might be afraid. She wanted to tell him that she wasn't scared, but then she noticed that his tender attentions were indeed soothing.

So, she derisively admitted to herself that maybe she had been more than a little surprised at the intensity of it all, because he was effectively calming her with slow caresses. Sighing with a new relaxation, she let him support her and took the comfort that was offered. Verbal communication was apparently unnecessary. He seemed to be understanding her feelings, knowing when it had become just slightly overwhelming.

But as the racing emotions slowed to a more manageable pace, she became much more aware of him physically.

He was large, but such a gentle giant. His hand was on her side, but his thumb was rubbing over her stomach. It was kneading and massaging, then moving in small circles that made her insides delightfully quiver.

Maybe she was bi-polar or something, because her mind went straight from sweet emotions to full out lust. She wanted him to touch her, more than anything. Every square inch of her skin had become overly sensitive and each touch only increased her yearning for more.

The butterflies in her stomach seemed in the background, as he toyed with the silk above her hip. His fingers brushing and teasing her as he played with the fabric, and it took awhile before she registered that he was actually moving her nightgown, pulling it just a bit higher each time his hand opened and closed.

Eventually, her thigh was exposed to the cool air and she found herself wondering, no hoping, that his hand would wander to the bare skin.

It took him awhile and she barely managed to stop herself from moving his hand for him. She liked to think that she was learning this concept of patience. They said that good things came in time. Well, apparently, they were right, because just when she was about to give up on him, she felt the warmth of his hand.

He stroked her thigh with slightly callused fingertips. His touch was tentative, as if he was worried that he shouldn't be doing it. Although it seemed an impossible task, she tried to get enough air into her lungs but only managed to make it short and choppy. He was moving in slow trails, teasing her with incredibly light caresses. God, did he have any idea what he was doing to her? Flushes of heat were going straight to her center, and if he hadn't been holding her upright she probably would have collapsed.

He was hardly even drinking anymore, just little sips here and there, as if he couldn't yet bring himself to part with her. Then, as if he had made an important decision, he trailed his hand along her inner thigh. It started at her knee then slowly progressed higher and higher, heading purposefully towards the exact spot where all of her torment had gathered and begun to ache.

Considering how her head had turned into a mess that only seemed to acknowledge sensations, it was amazing that his request actually registered and when his fingers grazed along the seem of her cotton underwear, her eyes widened.

He wanted to touch her there?

Surprise would have been a normal reaction, but that wasn't the reason her heart had doubled in speed. She was aching, her body begging her to let him. Waiting for some kind of invitation, he grazed her through the slightly damp fabric.

His patient requests were starting to drive her insane. Not a single cell in her body wanted to refuse him.

_Yes. Yes! _Her brain screamed. _What the hell are you waiting for?_

He made a sound. A grunt? Or maybe a snicker?

Mortified, she realized that with his fangs in her neck he just might have heard her and even worse, he would discover just how wet she was there.

But any trace of embarrassment quickly fled from her mind as he inched under the fabric and touched her intimately.

One slow stroke along slick, sensitive flesh and she was already moaning, too overcome by his warm touch to be aware of the sounds she was making. Yet again, as with everything else, he went at his own pace, learning every nuance and crevice of her feminine form until she was panting in fits and starts as if her lungs had forgotten the simple concept of breathing.

It was almost unbelievable that he seemed to intuitively know just where to be gentle and just where to press down and it didn't take long before she figured it out.

He was still taking little sips from her vein, listening to her wants and desires, and showing an attentiveness that made her want to melt with gratification. When she thought about him moving a little to the left, he moved a little to the left, and when she thought about slow circles, oh god, she got slow circles.

Still gasping for air, her voice came out shaking. "Oh, whatever it is that you're doing," she barely managed. "Just don't stop."

He couldn't respond with his mouth so preoccupied, but she didn't need a confirmation that he'd heard her, just as long as he would do as she ordered.

Apparently, he decided to be both bold and amenable, because what he did next made her brain completely shut down.

With an incredible care that was probably only sightly unnecessary, he slid one finger inside her, moving slowly until he pressed a spot that made her shudder with an involuntary spasm. Too overwhelmed to be shocked, she let out a cry as her legs tightened together. Her behavior was shameless, but at this point it was way beyond her control.

He was being almost too gentle, touching places that were aching and tender. His movements became a steady yet mind reeling pattern – in then out, then a rub, then back again. Her own cries sounded distant. She was on the verge, walking a fine line between pain and pleasure. Every movement only brought her closer and closer.

But god, she needed him to go faster!

Using every mental power she could possible conceive of, she tried to order him, tried to let him know that his patience was killing her. And as his slow torture continued, she grabbed handfuls of his shirt, and pulled with all of the strength she could muster, but he was totally immovable.

He had to have heard her. There was no way he could have missed her desperate commands, but he was refusing to let her rush him. His stubbornness was driving her crazy and if her brain had been working, she would have screamed at him for not listening to something that seemed to mean the difference between life and death.

Frustrated beyond relief, she was on the brink of insanity, and only distantly heard herself speaking.

"Oh Akatsuki...please...please."

She begged mindlessly, then repeated his name like a mantra, her mushy brain unable to form a complete sentence let alone fluent thoughts.

Finally, she somehow got through to him, because he let out a long groan and held onto her tightly as he gave her what she hadn't even known to ask for. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to thank him, but all she could do was cry out in ecstasy as one wave after another brought her to a soaring release.

* * *

Kain was forcing himself to sit still, forcing himself not to jump her like some sex-starved lunatic as he used every ounce of strength he had left to wait and let her recover.

The girl he had been in love with for who knows how long was in his arms. She was still getting her breath. Her cheeks were flushed and her skin was glistening with a light coat of perspiration.

Looking at her didn't help.

Barely containing a groan, he let his head fall back and looked at the safety of the ceiling. He simply could not wrap his brain around what had just happened.

God that was...there were no words to describe it. Ruka had just had an incredibly arousing orgasm while his fangs, and his finger, were inside her. Still not quite believing it, he repeated it to himself a few times just in case this was only a very vivid fantasy.

No, it was definitely real. She was still in his arms, her head leaning against his chest. His hand was resting on her bare thigh. His fingers were still wet. He was still hard. She was still pressed against it.

He forced himself to take a deep breath.

He didn't know how long he sat there for, his body raging while his mind teased him by replaying the events over and over again even though he was intent on studying every groove and mark on the ceiling.

Just when he'd decided he either needed to have his way with her or get up and take care of it, he heard a soft snore.

His head shot down to find her eyes closed and her breathing even. Hell, she was worse than a spoiled cat. She had gotten what she wanted and now she was just going to sleep.

And that decided it. He was stuck there. He would rather cut off his right arm than wake her up.

Going back to study the fascinating intricacies of the ceiling, he tried to think about other things.

While her mind had been revealing, it wasn't exactly an organized encyclopedia. She had been very emotional but in a good way. Her heart had been weaving briefly through memories and then back to her joy of the moment. Despite his grand plan to discover her true feelings for him, he had spent most of his efforts on not losing himself in her taste like some blood-crazed animal.

And she had thought something was wrong with her. That was just crazy. If only she could see herself through his eyes. Then maybe she could understand just how far off base she was. He supposed she must see it when she drank from him and maybe the more she did it, the more she would believe him.

The thought more than pleased him. That and the fact that even through all of the things in her mind, none of them were of the pureblood. Her memories had been very internal, only showing emotions that she'd felt during that one encounter.

Involuntarily, his arms tightened around her, and he had to remind himself to loosen his grip in order to leave her sleep undisturbed. Sure he was pissed at Kaname. He realized now that he always had been. It was only recently that he had begun to acknowledge and accept the fact that deep down he had always been too jealous to really be loyal.

Mostly though, he was pissed at himself. She had been having such a frightening experience and he had been standing right there! It would have been so easy to stop it from happening. Kaname must have been ravenously thirsty, but if Kain had walked into the room, the pureblood wouldn't have done it. By passively standing in the hallway, he had basically given permission.

Too disgusted with himself to let his mind go back to that moment, Kain looked back down at the girl in his arms. She had curled up in his lap as if she'd found the perfect spot. Her hair cascaded over his arm and her lashes rested on her cheeks in peaceful slumber. There was no need to move her. She weighed almost nothing and having her so close gave his heart satisfaction.

None of his worst fears had come to life, and one thing was certain. She hadn't been thinking of Kaname. She hadn't been imagining she was with someone else. She hadn't been feeling guilt or shame, and she had definitely enjoyed everything he'd been doing.

There was no need to hold back anymore. This marked the end and the beginning. For the first time in his life, he was going to go after something he wanted, and he was going to use everything in his power to get it.

* * *

**I tried some different things here. Please feel free to let me know if you think they worked or not. **


	17. Solitary Obsessions

**Ok, so this chapter probably sucks, but I'm getting really sick of reading it over and over again. I know I've been bad. I barely responded to any reviews and it took me forever to update. Can you forgive me?**

**Disclaimer: I agonize over every sentence in this story, but I don't make any money off of it.**

* * *

In a dream world that only exists during that languid phase before consciousness, Ruka's thoughts weren't exactly coherent. Not really awake but not asleep either, she had just enough sense to decide that even though she often forced herself to wake up early, it just wasn't her cup of tea.

Plus, this had to be the most comfortable bed she had ever slept on. Firm, but not stiff. It had just enough give that she could easily nestle into it. Heat was radiating from it like an electric blanket, but it didn't have the fluff of a comforter. Apathetically, she considered the possibility that she had fallen asleep on the furnace. Then she gave up on thinking all together and snuggled closer, preferring to fall back into a peaceful doze rather than be roused by things that were so inconsequential.

"Are you going to wake up sometime tonight?" The bed spoke, interrupting her just as she had been on the brink of blissful slumber. Silly bed, it was supposed to condone sleep, not try to wake her up from it.

"Shhhhh." She shushed it and mumbled, "..sleeping."

There was a distantly familiar chuckle, followed by a deep voice. "Of course. I wouldn't dare wake you up. Forgive me for my insolence."

Sinking deeper into the speaking mattress, Ruka decided she should admonish it later for its sarcastic tone. There was no schedule, no appointments, no reason that she couldn't sleep in as long as she liked. Besides, the hand that was stroking through her hair felt so nice and the arm at her back was holding her with a secure and comforting weight.

But little by little, the dream world inevitably drifted away and it wasn't until then that two realities came into place. The bed had a heartbeat and it was breathing.

Sluggishly, she raised her eyelids, taking the time to let herself adjust to some measure of awareness. The thumping beat of a heart was just underneath her ear, and a deep breath tickled her cheek. Confused, she lifted her head just enough to find that her pillow had been a perfectly formed and very muscular chest. As if not quite sure what she would find, her eyes wandered upwards. There was lightly tanned skin, a flannel collar, and a set of rich chocolate eyes, closely watching her progress.

With a distorted and sleepy brain, she was somewhat detached as she noticed her position. They were on the sofa. Kain, who seemed to have willingly taken on the role as her mattress, was lying underneath her and she was sprawled on top of him. Their bodies were pressed together in what she quickly decided was all the right places. Hmmm, there were the things he had done, and then waking up like this...

She could have fallen right back a sleep, but his eyes held a startling intensity.

"Did you sleep?" She asked.

He gave a caustic laugh then looked away, "No."

"Why? Did I snore?"

"No."

"Am I too heavy?"

"Not even close."

"Did I make you uncomfortable?"

He gave her one of his no-nonsense looks, and she blushed. He had never let her get away with playing coy.

"You could have woken me up you know."

His hands moved to her waist, circling it tightly, and dragging her up along his chest. With her head next to his, he whispered against her ear. "You're awake now."

His husky voice held a promise then sent a shiver over her spine, but just as she had been about to turn her head so their lips could meet, her stomach growled so loudly that it probably should have been embarrassing.

He stilled. "Don't say it."

Ruka bit her lip in an attempt to hold back an immature giggle. The prospect of teasing him was just too tempting to resist. "Breakfast?"

His head fell back, and he groaned in such a tortured way that she felt a pang of regret.

He rolled her off of him and threw his legs over the edge of the sofa. "She's hungry. She's thirsty." He grumbled to himself as he ran hand through his hair. "We can't have the princess going hungry, can we."

She pouted as he stood up. Darn it. She had only been joking. But what was she supposed to say now? Come back and keep touching me? That didn't sound very ladylike.

But as he was moving to grab his wrist watch from the table and check the time, she found that he'd left a delightfully warm spot on the sofa. Burying her face in the corner she breathed in his scent, then settled comfortably into the cushions.

"I think I'll just sleep a little longer." She mumbled, reaching for covers.

He didn't even give her a second to indulge the thought. "Oh no you don't."

She yelped as a strong arm snatched her around the waste and easily lifted her off the couch. Hoisting her over his shoulder, he marched to the kitchen. "If I have to cook you breakfast, you can at least learn to make coffee."

* * *

Kain sat across the small island counter from Ruka, sulking. The way she practically checked her shoulder to make sure nobody was looking before drowning her pancakes in syrup with a childlike glee should have made him laugh, but when her pink tongue darted out to lick the sugary substance off the tip of her finger, he wondered how long she planned to continue torturing him.

Normally, he enjoyed these moments, but after lying on the sofa with her breasts pressed against him for five excruciating hours, he was more than a little edgy. Everything about her distracted him to no end – her sleepy gaze, her nearly transparent nightgown, the way she demurely crossed her legs. All he could think about was where his hands had been and what might have happened had she not fallen asleep.

He may have had more self-control than most, but he wasn't a saint. At the rate they were going, it would only be a matter of time before his body got what it wanted, but the way she was happily eating her breakfast as if nothing had happened, made it seem like she might actually succeed in killing him first.

As if to prove his point, she made an erotic sound of pleasure as she took her first bite. "These are delicious, Akatsuki."

He grunted some non-committal response. Of course they were good. Despite the way she mercilessly distracted him, he always put his heart into cooking for her.

"Are you feeling okay?" She asked between bites. "You look kind of gloomy."

No. He wasn't feeling okay. He was suffering from days of pent up arousal with no prospect of relief. What he needed was a cold shower. Then maybe he could sit here with her without trying to see through her nightgown.

But probably not.

He kept his thoughts to himself. "I'm fine."

"Okay," she said slowly while giving him a suspicious look. "If you say so."

As she returned to her breakfast, he wondered if he had somehow misjudged her. Even though he had decided he wouldn't let anything stop him from going after her, there were still a million reasons to stop and think it over.

For one thing, how many times were they going to dabble in the preliminaries to sex, without discussing where this was going? He couldn't tell what it meant to her, but somehow he needed to get the point across that for him there would be no turning back. Maybe he was supposed to drop subtle hints, or maybe he was supposed just come out and tell her what he wanted. Should he shower her with gifts? Spout off flowery words of affection?

Hanabusa would know. Like the expert playboy he was, his cousin would know exactly what to do and exactly when to do it. After watching Aidou's success with women, Kain probably should have picked up a few pointers, but instead he remained clueless when it came to this type of pursuit.

But the true reason for his hesitancy was not only from self-doubt. It wasn't that she confused him or that he didn't have the capacity to charm. Although true, those were just petty excuses. Admitting to one fault didn't nullify the other and at some point he would have to come to terms with the fact that he was the one who couldn't get the pureblood out of his mind.

Here, without Kaname around ,she was happy, laughing, playful, and abnormally relaxed. In just one short month, they'd developed their own routine. They ate breakfast together. They had light conversations. They had exchanged blood. From all appearances, they were living together as a vampire couple and it would be a lie to say that it hadn't gone to his head.

There was no point in kidding himself. He had thought that he knew her well, but now she was an enigma to him. Every time he felt that he'd figured her out, she acted in a completely different way than expected. He should have been relieved that she wasn't scared of him like before, but instead her unpredictable emotions only made him wary

"What do you plan to do after all this blows over?" He'd blurted out the question, oddly speaking his mind before really thinking it over.

A lock of light brown hair fell over her shoulder. "What do you mean?" She mumbled the words through a mouthful of pancakes, then grabbed the glass of water to take down a gulp.

Folding his arms and leaning back in his seat, he made a point to watch her closely. "I mean, if this issue gets resolved peacefully and we can walk out of here without having to worry about vampire hunters, what would you do next?"

Politely, she had swallowed her food then patted her lips with a napkin. The change was subtle, but these small gestures that would normally go unnoticed were like a red flag to Kain.

She lifted her chin. "I'll be going back to help Kaname, of course."

"Of course." He repeated under his breath, wondering how he could have been so blind as to think that she would respond differently.

"Yes, why would I do anything else?"

Why indeed. Nevermind that he hurt you. Nevermind everything we've done together. Of course, why wouldn't you want to return to someone who had acted sadistically then treated you like a stray?

He thought this. He didn't say it. Instead he tried to discern her reasoning. "You don't think anything would change?"

"Hmmm." She hummed thoughtfully, and set her elbow on the table, resting her chin on her palm. "No. I know it will be difficult. My reputation has more than likely gone to shreds. I'll have to work twice as hard to restore it to a mere fraction of what it was before."

_More than you know, _he thought, wondering if she would be equally determined if she knew the truth.

"It's strange, being here." Her sleepy eyes took on a wistful stare. "I feel like I'm living in a dream. I know I'm in danger but none of it seems real. It's like I'm on vacation or something. Since there's nothing I can do about it while I'm here, I haven't worried about it, but I suppose when I get back I'll have to deal with the reality of the situation."

Kain sat there silently, wondering if she had some premonition that there was more in store for her than appeared. She couldn't have put it better. This was exactly what would happen if she returned.

But this wasn't what bothered him. It wasn't that he felt guilty for keeping a secret and it wasn't that he was concerned for her well-being.

It was the fact that even though the pureblood had hurt her, she still had every intention to return to his side.

It didn't go unnoticed that she quickly changed the subject, and for the duration of breakfast, Ruka maintained a one-sided conversation about trivial things: whether or not she should paint another part of the house, something about a book she'd found in her room. Kain had lost the ability to focus, and barely managed curt responses when required.

Jealousy was an emotion for the insecure. It was born out of distrust and it's destruction knew no boundaries. He had never been one to fall victim to it's clutches. Yet here he was, gazing at Ruka as if he was lost in a desert, and she was a glass of water. All the while, he was thinking about how much easier his life would have been minus one pureblood.

Ruka had finished her breakfast and was transporting plates and utensils to the sink. Part of him wanted to ask her what she saw in the pureblood that would make her constantly want to return to his side, but he preferred being ignorant to whatever it was she thought made Kaname a better man. Staring off at nothing, he remained solitary in his envy, unwilling to display such an ugly emotion.

"Akatsuki."

Snapping out of his self-induced trance, his head shot up to find her standing a mere inches away. "Sorry, did you ask me something?"

Her eyes softened as she looked at him with concern. "No."

He must have seemed like he was losing it. Hell, he was losing it. Because even as she was the source of all this despair, he still couldn't let her go. No matter how much torture she put him through, he still loved her. It was a curse in the guise of a blessing or maybe it was the other way around.

Her eyes left his, trailing to where his hand was resting on the counter. "Sometimes, you just look so sad." She said softly, as she lightly covered his hand with hers. "I wish I could make that look go away."

Kain heard her, but he wasn't sure how to respond. He looked at their hands on the table, hers pale and soft, his rougher and large. Her skin felt cool, her touch intimate. He hadn't succeeded in overcoming his lust and he hadn't managed to steady his heart. From the moment she had entered his life, he had been doomed.

His eyes settled on her wrist, gazing at the interweaving blue lines that made up her veins. "Why did you offer it to him a second time?"

As if not realizing what he was saying, his voice had come out barely above a whisper.

"What?" She asked, matching his volume with a quiet tone.

He moved his hand from under hers and circled her slender wrist with his fingers. Turning her arm so that her palm faced upwards, he brushed his thumb over her vein. "If it hurt the first time you gave him blood, then why did you offer it a second time?"

Even though his eyes never left her wrist, he felt her stiffen. "I..." She stopped and started again. "I don't know."

The pad of his thumb had found that spot between a bone and a fragile tendon. Carefully, he pressed down just enough to feel her pulse.

"Yes you do." he said, closing eyes to listen to her heart beat in time with the erratic flow.

She tried to dislodge her wrist from his grasp but he didn't let go. Maybe he wouldn't like her answers, but he had to hear them.

"You were there." She said, her voice hardening with disdain. "I don't see why you would want to know something like this."

"Yes, I remember. You weren't exactly relieved that he refused."

It was such an understatement. She had been devastated, practically in tears that Kaname had only wanted her blood that one time.

Attempting another tug against his steady grip, her voice became more plaintive. "Please. Don't make me talk about this."

A familiar pain squeezed his chest and he forced his eyes to stay closed. She was small and delicate but one pleading look from her eyes would be all that was needed to make him cave.

"Talk about it just this one time, and I won't ask again."

The pulls against his grip suddenly stopped, and she slackened in defeat. "I thought that if he continued to drink my blood then eventually he would fall in love with me, but he didn't even want it to begin with. I just wasn't good enough." Her voice lowered with humiliation. "I wasn't even good enough to be a replacement until Yuuki awoke. Is that what you wanted to hear? Are you happy now?"

"Would you do it again?"

She inhaled sharply. "That's insulting. I would never do something to come between him and Yuuki. Can I have my hand back please?"

She was getting more angry by the minute, but he wasn't finished yet. "What if there was no Yuuki? What if he was still just as thirsty as before?"

"But there is Yuuki, and he isn't suffering. Your questions are ridiculous."

The more she stalled, the more he realized she wanted to hide the truth from him. What had the pureblood done to deserve this devotion from her? Couldn't she see that her love for Kaname was self-destructive?

For nearly his entire life, every minute of every hour of every miserable day, he had watched the only girl who had ever meant anything to him, openly love another man. He had despaired in what had seemed undeniable proof that she would never have eyes for him. Now, when everything he had ever dreamed of was right here in this kitchen, the prospect of obtaining his only desire brought along years of repressed feelings.

Kain had always considered himself a sensible person. As such, there were very few things that were capable of provoking him. The world could be falling apart, people around him could panic, but he consistently kept it together. While it may not have been the most impressive quality a person could have, it had gotten him through more than a few dangerous situations.

But, after this past month, he didn't have the same passive detachment. He no longer felt like he was looking in from the outside. She had drawn him in with soft touches and invitations and now, the thought of the pureblood biting her again made him seethe with a crushing rage.

"Akatsuki." Ruka's voice shook, as she frantically pulled against his grip. "You're hurting me."

He opened his eyes. On the table, he still had her wrist in his grasp. Her hand was limp and sickly pale while his was overheating, his fingers burning her flesh.

His heart stopped. He let go.

She had been putting so much of her strength into yanking her arm from his hold, that the momentum from being suddenly free made her fall back against the opposite counter. Helplessly, Kain watched her wince as she protectively cradled her wrist against her stomach.

He got out of his seat, took a step towards her, then stopped. "Ruka, I..."

"What on earth is wrong with you!" She lashed out, her skin flushing as heat seemed to rise from her body.

"I don't...I was thinking of.." Running a hand over his face, he tried to get a hold of himself and complete a sentence. "I didn't know what I was doing."

"Well, next time pay attention." She scolded and experimentally moving her hand back and forth as she watched the blemish disappear. "We may heal quickly, but if you burnt my hand off, I doubt it would grow back."

"Are you..." He swallowed. This wasn't him. He never lost control like this. "Are you okay?"

She scoffed. "What, did you forget that I'm a noble?"

"No."

Lifting her chin, she gave him a condescending look. "Just because I'm smaller than you, it doesn't mean I'm weak."

He had injured her, probably even frightened her, but she was completely unphased by it, instead responding with a fierce spirit. In her strength, she defeated him. This would probably be a bad time to tell her that she was beautiful when she was angry.

"I don't think you're weak." He said, wondering how she would react if he chose this moment to kiss her.

"Yes you do. You think you have to protect me from everything, including yourself."

Her words didn't reach him. He was too busy watching her breasts rise and fall with each ragged breaths. It seemed that the nightgown was a little on the small side, because they pressed against it, every detail outlined through the thin fabric.

There was a moment of silence, and he felt that he was probably supposed to say something.

"I'm sorry." He said lamely.

She folded her arms, the movement causing her nightgown to press impossibly tighter. "For what? Burning my wrist, or thinking that I'm a weakling?"

Not sure how he was supposed to answer that, he took a vague approach. "More the first one."

"I know exactly what this is about." She advanced on him, her eyes lighting with a challenge. "You think that since he hurt me that one time, it's now your chivalrous duty to protect me from him."

He could only stare at her blankly. What she said hadn't been wrong but it hadn't exactly been correct either.

"That is what you're thinking, isn't it?" She pressed.

He averted his eyes. "Maybe."

It was apparently all she needed to hear, because she immediately launched into a tirade. "Everybody thinks I'm incompetent and weak. Aidou, you, my parents, and all the other nobles. It's like you all rank yourselves by your powers and I'm at the bottom of the list."

"We don't do that." Her accusations were absurd, but at this point, he would say anything if it meant he could cross the distance between them.

She rolled her eyes emphatically. "Oh you're the worst of them all. You and your cousin. Neither of you seem to have noticed that I'm not a little girl anymore."

He wondered how she could say that when he was standing there trying to control his body's reactions to her. "Believe me, I've noticed."

"That's not what I meant!"

Uncomfortably distracted, he had been trying to keep his voice calm in order to win her over, but it seemed to be having the opposite effect. "I understand what you were getting at."

"If that's true then stop acting as if you have to carry me around on your shoulders. I'm not made of glass. I won't break if you drop me and besides, it's not like it's your job to take care of me!"

Words left his mouth before he could stop them. "I want it to be."

Her lips parted to snap a retort, but all that came out was a rushed exhale. His words seemed to have the effect of a swift punch to the stomach.

"I..well..." Her eyes darted away nervously. "well..."

It was too much. His heart wouldn't survive a gentle let down. Without a word, he turned and left.

* * *

In such a small space, the shower was the only place where he could really have privacy. Kain turned on the water as hot has it would go and lifted his face to the scalding stream. Maybe he should have gone with his original idea of a cold shower, because the rising steam only added more fuel to the fire. Unfortunately, there was no amount of water that could wash away her erotic image.

Before biting her, his attempts to remove himself from the situation probably would have been possible, but now he had feelings, sensations and sounds to add to the intruding fantasies. Her words, or lack of them, still burned in his memory, but his body remembered every detail of their time on the sofa. He could still feel his fingers inside her. He could still smell the tantalizing scent of her arousal. He could still hear her breathlessly cry his name as her moist flesh tightly coiled in repeating spasms

His body betrayed him, reacting this way even as she coldly dismissed him. There was only so much of her torment that he could take, and there was only one thing that would relieve it. At least these added incentives would make it a quick process.

Closing his eyes, he pressed his forehead to the cool tile wall. He wanted to hate it. He didn't want to find pleasure in false illusions, but in his mind, Ruka was there with him. She came to him, naked and vulnerable, smiling in an open invitation. Covering his throat with feverish kisses, she told him what he wanted to hear.

Her fingers gently teased the soft tip then tightly closed around his rigid flesh. Her hand knew just the right pressure, just the right speed to quickly bring him to the edge. Seductively, she whispered in his ear. She wanted only him. Her soul was his.

His lips fell to her throat. He bit his tongue, imagined the taste of her blood. He shuddered. Her name escaped from his lips in a soft moan. He came.

* * *

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!_

How could she have acted like such an idiot? One minute, she had been trying to comfort him, the next, she had been yelling at him in a selfish attempt to hide her own flaws.

Ruka fell on the bed and covered her face with her hands. Every time she sought to take his pain away, she only ended up making it worse. She was quite possibly the most awful being on the face of the earth.

Oh why couldn't she have just answered his questions? It wasn't like she would have had to lie. She could have just as easily told the truth. Silently, she cursed her pride. This was Akatsuki. She didn't need to put up a strong front with him, but she had felt so humiliated in admitting the truth of her mistakes and then her wretched temper had interfered.

There had to be a way to fix this, a way to undo the damage. Words simply weren't enough and at this point she didn't trust herself not to screw them up anyways.

She took a deep breath and made her decision. The only way to resolve this would be to give up her misguided sense of honor and show him what she wanted.

Men and women had been engaging in it for centuries. It was about time for her to be included.

* * *

**I have horrible insomnia and some of this I wrote at 5am while watching the sun rise through my window, so yeah...I'll probably come back and fix some stuff later.**

**Anyways, I should warn you that this time of year I get really stressed out and stress reeks havoc on my creative process. I pretty much hate Christmas and can't wait 'til it's over, but I've been daydreaming about the next chapter for months now so hopefully I'll have enough juice to get it out soon. **


	18. Seduction and Sabotage

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews. They really keep my muse talking!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of it's characters.**

**

* * *

**

_She didn't want him._

Kain stared at her bedroom door. It shut him out, just like she had last night. She was inside. He was standing here. There was only a few inches of wood blocking his path, but it seemed more like a fortress.

He could hear her inside. There was occasional movement: the patter of footsteps, the rustle of cloth. They were vampires; it was in their nature to notice each others' presence through doors and walls and buildings.

But did she even know he was there?

Probably not.

She claimed that she didn't need anybody to take care of her. She seemed to think that she could do everything on her own.

It was bullshit. Maybe she could have fooled someone else, but he didn't buy her proud display. Sure, she was independent and strong, but nobody could go their whole lives without seeking the help of another. And she was not above others as she so often liked to think.

Besides, he had been looking out for her for nearly their entire lives. It wasn't like she had ever noticed, but she had depended on him without even realizing it. Only now that she was forced to be in such close proximity with him, without Kaname around, had she even looked in his direction.

His mind told him to cut himself off. Giving so much and getting nothing in return was slowly tearing him apart. The odds were slim that it would change anything now, and the most likely outcome was still disaster.

But his heart wouldn't let him. Despite the logical facts, his gut instinct was that he'd come very close to breaking Kaname's unintentional hold over her. Kain didn't normally allow his instincts to guide him, but in this case, the prospect of obtaining the one thing he longed for was too much to resist.

Tiredly, he leaned against the wall next to the door. He'd spent most of the day lying awake while arguing with himself. After hours of tossing and turning, he'd eventually caved, deciding that if he was going to ignore all the obvious signs that he should let it go, he might as well put his mind into formulating a plan.

She thought she didn't need anyone to help her. She thought that once they returned, everything would go back to normal. So, the solution was simple. All he had to do was inform her differently.

He would tell her exactly what Kaname had said as well as the gist of the letter from her parents. It was a simple, if ruthless strategy, but there didn't seem to be any other options.

He would still help her. Getting her back into the Kuran faction was the easy part. Restoring her name and reputation was more difficult, but he had leverage. It was ironic that her parents' cold nature could be beneficial, but it would make them easy to bargain with. They wanted establishment and political power and he was in a position to give it to them.

His original intention had been to do all of this without her knowledge, but he was through with doing things in the background. He was going to help her and for the first time, she was going to know he was doing it.

Kain straightened, going back to the door. Telling her something that would hurt her was going to be incredibly difficult, but he'd stubbornly made up his mind.

No more stalling. He would give her blood and then tell her. No, there was no way that would work. He would tell her then give her blood, otherwise he wouldn't be able to do it.

Great, he was already second guessing himself. This had to be the only time when turning his brain off before opening his mouth would be a useful tactic.

Without giving himself a moment to reconsider, he gave the door a firm and unnecessarily loud knock.

"Come in." Ruka called from inside.

The dim lighting should have been his first warning, If not that then at least the lavender scent. But he completely missed them and had no defense ready for what his eyes took in.

The material must have been satin from the way it glimmered in the soft light. It was a robe, if one could even call it that. Robes were supposed to hide the bare skin underneath them, but this one did nothing of the sort. If it hadn't been for the fact that the beige color matched her skin, he was sure that he would have been able to see every nuance of her figure in explicit detail.

He should have been grateful that she had her back to him, but her position did nothing to soften the blow. She was facing the wall, holding a painting above her head. The satin material barely covered her hips. It mercilessly ended at the top of her thighs, and it's short length revealed long, toned, flawless legs.

"I'm glad you're here." She was saying. "I could really use your help."

He barely heard her. Warning bells were going off in his head but they seemed to be coming from a distance. His eyes had already glazed over. With nothing but pure male interest, they fell to what was quickly becoming the most alluring part of her body. The sash tied at her waist accentuated the curves underneath it and if it hadn't been for the transparency of the material, he wouldn't have been able to see that she was wearing very tiny and very sexy, black panties underneath.

"How does this look?" She asked over her shoulder.

It was impossible to drag his eyes away from the erotic figure in front of him. She was small, but her hips still managed to be voluptuous, practically begging to be grasped by his hands.

He barely heard his own voice. "Incredible."

"Really? You don't think it should be a little bit higher?" She lifted herself on her toes, stretching her legs to lift the painting.

As the robe lifted just enough to display the lush underside of her derriere, heat rushed to a part of his body that was quickly rising to attention.

His lips parted to take in much needed air. "That's good."

"Alright," she said. "Do you think you could do me a favor and mark this spot for me?"

Those words didn't match with his new agenda. "Do what?"

"Just put a mark on the wall so I know where to hang the painting."

He blinked. The painting. They were talking about the painting. He needed to get his head out of his pants if he was ever going to be able to follow through with telling her.

He tried to focus on anything other than the vision in front of him. "I came here to talk to you about something."

"That's fine but do you think you could help me out here?" she pressed. "I don't want to have to figure out where to put this again."

As she shifted to keep her balance, the robe looked like it would just take a little nudge to fall off her shoulder.

"Yeah, okay." He spoke hastily, his voice sounding shaky even to his own ears.

This was no problem. He could do this. He was just going to walk up to that alluring scent, stand next to all that lace, possibly get a much better view...

_Just do it quickly. Get it over with so you can finish what you came to do. _

It wasn't until he was almost within reaching distance that he paused. "Ummmm, do you have a pencil?"

She gave a slight nod. "It's behind my ear."

Of course. Where else would it be? Not on the bookshelf, not on the bedside table. He supposed he should have been thankful that it wasn't stuffed in her bra, but that would have been impossible since now that he was this close to her, he could see that she wasn't wearing one. Just as he didn't miss the lacy black underwear, he also didn't miss the fact that there were no straps over her back and shoulders.

Two steps closer, a breath of that sweet lavender scent, and he was already having trouble thinking clearly. She continued to face the wall, tilting her head to offer the pencil under her hair. His hand wasn't shaking as he brushed those silky chestnut tendrils aside. His heart wasn't pounding when the movement revealed the graceful angle of her neck. He wasn't going to lose his nerve. He absolutely refused.

Without touching her ear, he managed to dislodge the pencil then leaned dangerously close to put a small mark just above the wooden frame.

_Whatever you do, don't look down. _

His own warning came too late. He looked down. At least he managed to be sly about it, peeking below his arm with one eye closed. But no amount of subtlety lessened the effect. Luscious skin and the erotic yet discreet slope of her breasts burned their image into his mind.

He practically jumped away from her. "What the hell are you wearing?"

She unceremoniously set the painting on the floor and leaned it against the wall. "Oh this? I found it in the bottom drawer of the dresser." She made a full turn then faced him. "What do you think?"

He made a valiant effort to look away, then gave up hope and openly stared. He could swear that if he looked hard enough he would be able to see the dusky peaks of her breasts underneath the sheer fabric.

"I think it's a pathetic excuse for clothing." Despite the cynicism, his voice came out hoarse.

She gave a surreptitious grin. "Well, actually it isn't clothing. It's lingerie."

His hand lifted to rub his chin, and he tried not to appear as if he was assessing the way it hung on her like a second skin. "You can say that again." He said under his breath.

"There's quite an assortment of things like this in the dresser." Her eyes lit up as if she was about to tell him a delightful secret. "I guess now we know what Kaname planned to do with Yuuki here."

His eyes shot up to hers. "That doesn't bother you?"

She laughed – actually laughed at him for questioning her uncaring attitude towards the love of her life and his fiance. "No, I think it's amusing. He's not the supreme being he acts like all the time is he?" She went on without waiting for a response. "He may be a pureblood but he's still male. I swear, you all just have one thing on your mind."

That was his cue to defend his half of their species, but the images his mind was conjuring only proved her point. His eyes fell to the sash that was barely holding the front of the robe together. It looked as if it would only take one gentle tug to pull it apart. He had kissed her. He had touched her. But he hadn't been able to look. At that moment he wanted to see her without anything in the way. He wanted to look. Dear god, he didn't think he'd ever wanted anything more.

He used his hand to cover his eyes since they seemed incapable of looking away on their own. "Do you mind putting something else on? I have something important to tell you."

He heard light footsteps then her voice brushed his ears. "I have something to tell you too."

She was close enough that he could feel her shallow breaths against his shirt. Knowing that her scent would go to his head, he held his breath. He had come in here prepared to face obstacles in his self-assigned mission, but he had made a critical mistake by completely underestimating her. She wasn't just a seductive vampire; she was a freaking weapon.

He felt himself slipping. "Ruka, what I have to say is important."

"Same here." A small hand lightly pressed to his chest. "May I go first?"

"As long as you do it while you get dressed."

There was a short pause. "Fine. If you don't like what I have to say, I promise I will cover myself in so much clothing even a nun would be shamed."

"Fine." He quickly agreed, even though it gave him a nagging sense of disappointment.

"But you have to look at me while I tell you."

Apparently, this was only going to get worse, but if it meant she would stop parading around in lingerie designed to cause wet dreams then he would placate her.

With stiff resolution, he lowered his hand and looked at her, diligently keeping his eyes above her chin.

After her show of confidence, he was surprised to see her fidgeting distractingly with his shirt buttons. Removing her hands from him probably would have been a good idea, but he simply couldn't bring himself to do it. Even the smallest, most nervous touch was enough to make his head spin.

"I wanted to answer your question from the other night" She paused to take a steadying breath. "The one...about Kaname, and if I would give him blood again."

His chest seemed to cave in on itself. She had already driven a knife through his heart. Was she really this determined to twist it?

"You don't have to answer that."

"Yes I do," Her voice took on a stern edge. "I should have answered it the first time. It was an honest question and after everything that's happened I think you deserve an answer."

After skirting the issue for so long, she seemed to be having a lot of trouble getting it out. He wanted to tell her again that she didn't need to say anything, but it was what she wanted, and giving her anything she wanted had always been and always would be his greatest weakness.

She opened her mouth to speak. He took in a sharp breath and held it, preparing for the worst.

"The answer is no."

His muscles went taut. This was supposed to give him relief but his cynical nature wouldn't let him simply believe every good thing he heard. She couldn't do this to him. The brutal truth would be easier to hear. Telling him things like this without total honesty would be enough to break him in two.

He forgot his determination to keep his hands to himself and gripped her shoulders, barely remembering to keep his temperature down. "Don't tell me this just because you think it's what I want to hear."

She didn't shy away from his lack of restraint and only moved closer, her eyes meeting his imploringly. "I'm not just saying it. Even if Yuuki somehow fell off the face of the earth, which is entirely possible considering how clumsy she can be, I still wouldn't do it again."

His throat constricted. There had to be a catch. "Tell me why."

Her eyes wandered lower as she became distracted by the buttons under her fingers. They were slowly coming undone, one after another. Light fleeting touches were sweeping over his exposed skin, each one weakening his resolve. He needed to think. He needed to breath. But the long pause she took before speaking made even the most necessary of tasks impossible.

"Well, I could say that it's because it was uncomfortable, but that's not really it." She watched her hand as it playfully pulled his shirt collar aside. "I could also say that it's because he doesn't love me, but that's not really it either."

Both hopeful and petrified, he remained a statue. For so long, he'd had to learn to gracefully accept defeat. Disappointment and loneliness had become so common in his everyday life that he'd begun to think that living like this was his cruel fate. The sheer hope that his life could change was shattering.

"Why wouldn't you do it then?" He pressed her to answer him, not sure if he could take much more suspense.

"Because I can't even imagine doing this with anybody else but you. You showed me that it means too much to just carelessly give away." Her hands slowly weaved behind his neck as her voice lowered. "I don't want anyone else to drink my blood. Just you."

The warm feeling began in his chest, then coursed through every part of his body. He believed her. The absolute honesty was in her voice and her unwavering gaze. It wasn't just because it was what he wanted to hear. Ruka might have been good at hiding her emotions, but she had never been a good liar. She was speaking the truth. She was telling him what his heart needed to hear, and it was the truth.

His breath left him in a rush. There had been no confession of love, no declaration of faithfulness, but it was more than enough to make his heart swell with emotion. Maybe he was a fool for being so easily hooked and lined in, but with Ruka, this was probably as close to a promise of devotion as he was ever going to get.

His hands moved to hold her face in his palms, his thumb brushing over her bottom lip.

She pouted prettily. "Do I have to change clothes now? I'd prefer not to."

A sound escaped him -- half moan, half laugh. "You can't wear this and expect me to keep my hands to myself."

"Well, good." She said primly. "That was the point."

Unable to stop himself, he weaved his fingers through the fullness of her hair. "Are you _trying_ to kill me?"

Her brows drew together in naïve confusion. "No. I definitely don't want to do that."

If she hadn't gotten him so worked up by wearing next to nothing, he would have laughed at the way she maintained an aura of innocence even during her own reckless ventures. Unfortunately, it was taking every resource he had to hold himself together.

But instead of allowing the intensity of his sexual needs overcome him, he focused on the thought of drinking her blood. With a new relaxation, he bent his head over her shoulder, inhaling the sweet scent. Unlike all of the times before, he didn't grit his teeth in an attempt to hold back. He didn't struggle to control himself. This time, he allowed the scent to intoxicate him, enjoying the way it coated his senses, making his mouth water with anticipation.

As his lips traveled over the soft skin below her ear, she gave a delightful shiver. He loved every one of her open reactions to him. Her little gasps and choppy breaths only fed his desire for more.

"Are you..." Her attempt to speak only resulted in a hitched breath as he lasciviously tasted the spot he was planning to bite. "Are you thirsty?"

_Thirsty?_ Funny, until five seconds ago, drinking blood hadn't even been on his mind. Yes, he wanted to bite her, but it had nothing to do with thirst. Mostly, he wanted to sink his teeth into this vein that no one else would ever have the pleasure of tasting. He wanted to have this blood that was only for him.

The various reasons for wanting to drink from her were too complex to explain with words. So, he didn't bother.

He angled her head to the side, holding her still in a method that vampires had been using for ages. Running one hand along her spine, he reveled in the short ritual between predator and prey.

Adoration filled him as his fangs sunk into her smooth skin. He bit her with care, marking her in a way that gave him an incredible sense of satisfaction. His arms tightened around her, keeping her close as he wallowed in the euphoria of that first taste.

His senses heightened instinctively, his ears picking up the little sound that came from her throat. With the slightest persuasion, her blood freely flowed into his mouth, drawing a deep thirst to the forefront. It didn't take long before he was completely wrapped up in her taste, barely managing to stop himself from pushing her against the wall and smothering her with his desire for more.

She still seemed too small, a delicate creature that should be cherished rather than devoured. Ever mindful of the fact that his own lust could completely overpower her, he made sure to keep himself in check. He kept his hand at her waste despite the strong temptation to let it slide lower. He wanted to pull at the dangerously loose sash, but he didn't. Ruka, on the other hand, had apparently decided that holding anything back was unnecessary, because her hands were wandering over him as if there wasn't enough of him as it was.

Her thoughts matched her racing hands, speeding along almost faster than he could catch them. She was pulling his shirt at the shoulders, trying to dislodge his arms so she could take it off him. Normally, he would be more than happy to oblige, but he was finally able to enjoy her essence without having to dwell on second thoughts. He'd be damned before letting her rush him.

As his hands gripped her smaller frame tighter, she let out a sexy whimper of frustration. "Akatsuki, I want more than this."

So did he. He wanted a whole hell of a lot more than her blood. But with his mouth slowly taking in luxurious draws, he couldn't exactly tell her this. Besides, he knew just how impulsive she could be. She had a history of getting herself into things without knowing the possible consequences.

"Akatsuki," She tried to get a response from him again, uttering his name in a pleading tone. "I want you to make love to me."

He stopped drinking so abruptly that he almost choked. Pushing her a safe distance away from him, he sputtered and wiped his mouth with his hand.

"Tell me I'm imagining things." He managed. "Did you really just say that?"

With a strange calmness, her rose eyes gazed at him steadily. "Yes, it seems that your hearing is accurate."

The small steps she was taking towards him were almost predatorial in nature. He could see that look in her eyes. Ruka saw something she wanted, and Ruka was going to get it.

"Don't you want to?" Her voice was sweet, almost too innocent.

He answered her without thinking. "Oh yes, I definitely want to." When her lips curved into a knowing grin, he knew that he had just made a fatal error. He quickly tried to amend it. "You're a virgin."

It hadn't been a question, but she answered it anyways. "Yes, aren't you?"

He couldn't look her in the eye. Feeling unworthy, he turned his head to the side.

It was enough to make her pause. "No, I guess with all the time you've spent with Hanabusa, you wouldn't be."

It wasn't like he had ever given her any sort of oath, but he felt the need to explain. He was nothing like his cousin. She knew that, but she didn't know about his one slip.

It had been shortly after he'd listened to Ruka give blood to Kaname. At the time, he'd been crushed by the thought that Ruka would forever be lost to him. The girl had more than wanted to, and she had seemed to enjoy it, or at least he liked to think so. Still, afterwards he'd gotten no sense of fulfillment, and went home feeling as if he had acted dishonorably.

Saying any of this to Ruka now seemed petty. If he were in her position, he knew he would prefer not to know.

"Well, I guess this will make it easier." She decided after a moment's consideration. At this point, Ruka seemed like she would refuse to let anything get in her way. "In a way, it's...helpful that you know more about this than I do."

One time in no way made him an expert. He wanted to tell her this but found himself quite eager to drop the subject.

Even as he held his ground, letting her get close enough to touch him, he tried to get through to her. "Ruka, I know this is probably inevitably going to happen, but don't you think this is a little fast?"

"Fast? You think this is too fast?" Her eyes widened considerably. "What is your idea of slow?" His mouth opened to retort, but she quickly covered it with her hand. "Nevermind. I'm not sure I want to know the answer to that."

She took in his intense gaze, keeping her fingers over his mouth. "Okay, I can see that you're still thinking too much." Pausing for a second, she bit her lip as if deep in thought. "Hmmm, maybe you'd like to hear some logical arguments? You like things to be founded in logic and reason don't you?"

Frozen to stone, he only managed a nod.

Smiling as if she'd already won, she didn't wait to continue. "First, there's the fact that we've already been exchanging blood. According to rumors, sharing blood is the most intimate thing that two vampires can do and it seems to me that this might be true."

Point one for her.

"Second," She went on. "As you said earlier, this is inevitably going to happen. I really don't see the point in putting off the inevitable."

That argument stood on shaky ground, but it was something he often said to himself. It would be hypocritical to counter it. Again, point two went to Ruka.

"Third." This time she spoke with her lips dangerously close to his bare chest. "You've been able to touch me with very little obstruction on my part. It's only fair that I should get to touch you as well."

Point three..._wait._ You touched me so I can touch you? What were they? Two children playing doctor? There was no way that argument was founded by any accepted logic. His brain told him this, but as her cool lips brushed his heated skin in a light kiss, his body seemed to think it made perfect sense.

He could scarcely believe this was happening to him. She was removing his shirt, touching and kissing him as if she was hungry for more. His head fell to her ear, his hands grasping at the thin fabric that covered her. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

She spoke between kisses. "Yes."

All of the yearning that he had suppressed under a sliver of control suddenly broke to the surface. He felt his hand grab a fist full of her hair as his mouth took hers in a ravenous kiss. His lips ground against hers, his tongue delving to taste her again and again.

Maybe if she hadn't responded by eagerly meeting him with each stroke, he could have held on, but her lips made his mind reel, her tongue made his heart race. Still, he tried not to rip at her robe with desperate fingers, tried not to force her towards the bed.

In their hasty movements, the sash around her waist loosened or maybe he had pulled at it. Either way the result was the same. The satin fell off her shoulders, sliding down her back and over her hips. He'd wanted to be able to take in the sight of her, but when he felt the softness of her breasts press against him, it was all he could do not to push her onto the mattress.

Holding her tightly, he could feel every detail of her naked torso. Her breasts were both firm and supple. Her nipples had tightened into little beads that proudly pressed against his chest.

He tore his mouth from hers, only to trail fervent kisses over her neck. His voice came out in a rasp. "This is too much."

She moaned an intelligible response, digging her fingers through his hair.

Glancing over her shoulder, his eyes took in the only sight that was available without pushing her away. Below the sway of her spine, sat those lacy black panties that had driven him mad the second he'd walked in the room. Aroused to the point of shaking, he lightly ran his palm over them, feeling all of the wonderfully round flesh they contained.

"These are so damn sexy." The words came out in a groan. He wasn't even aware of what he was saying. The barrier between his thoughts and his voice had long since disappeared.

"You like them?" Her voice purred by his ear. "They're mine. The ones I was wearing when we left."

The thought of her wearing things like this under her usual clothing..._mercy._

"Christ, why did you have to tell me that?"

"I like wearing pretty things."

"That's enough."

"And I like the way the lace feels against my skin."

He groaned, moving back to capture her lips with his in a desperate attempt to keep her quiet. Quickly developing a love-hate relationship with women's lingerie, he slid his hand underneath them to grasp a handful of her pliant flesh. The movement brought her hips up against him. His erection pressed to the softness of her abdomen.

She gasped. That little sound from her throat almost completely undid him. Two clumsy steps and they fell onto the bed, his body covering hers. He tried not to smother her underneath him. Lifting his weight to rest on his elbows, he lowered his head to her breast, hungrily capturing one rosy peak between his lips.

Her feminine cry seemed to pull at his insides, drawing him to an almost painful state of arousal. Wanting to experience every aspect of her, he rolled the hardened nub with his tongue then pulled it deeper into his mouth. He sucked harder than he meant to, but she only responded by digging her fingers into his scalp, pressing him against her with surprising strength.

As his hand moved between them to move aside the last scrap of clothing that covered her, she tried to pull him upwards. "I...I want to touch you too."

He lifted enough to speak. "Can't do that." As it was, he could barely stop himself from bucking against her.

He could tell she was about to argue. He could see it in her eyes. Her lips pursed. There was that look: high and mighty Ruka always gets her way.

He cut her off by sliding one finger inside her. It worked superbly. With a sexy sigh, she dissolved underneath him, her legs falling open.

He had touched her before, but this time it was different. This time, he knew he was going to be inside her. God, she was so wet – wet and warm and incredibly tight.

Feeling both disheartened and aroused, he thought to warn her. "I think this might hurt you."

"N-no, it can't I..." She stopped to suck in a breath. "I'm a vampire."

The way she was having so much trouble speaking was incredibly erotic. A devious side of him took over, wanting vengeance for all the hell she'd put him through in the past month. Keeping his movements slow and deliberate, he moved in and out of her, watching a flush cover her cheeks. "You forgot to add noble."

"What?" She gasped as he moved deeper, her head falling back against the sheets. "Oh I mean yes, noble...that's right."

"So, you think that means you can't feel pain?"

"No I..." Her voice evaporated into a moan.

"What was that?" He whispered, brushing his thumb over the spot she had guided him to when his fangs had been inside her before.

"Oh stop."

He went still.

Her eyes shot open as her nails dug into his back. "I mean don't stop!"

Despite the way he was straining to keep this up, he managed a rough chuckle before returning to his slow torture. She was a slave to every sensation, her body melting to each of his demands. If he had maintained any traces of normal intelligence, he could have told himself that he was just making sure she would be ready, but that would have been a bold faced lie. What he really wanted was to make her sweat and moan and writhe underneath him as she had the other night. Once had not been enough – not by a long shot.

She arched against his fingers. She was so close, even with his unhurried strokes. "I-I can't take much more of this."

Her muscles trembled, her thighs squeezing his sides. It was enough to make him lose his resolve. He fell forward, pressing his arm between them. With her legs wrapped around him like this he could imagine himself inside her.

He gruffly spoke into her ear. "Come for me, Ruka."

On the verge, she squirmed underneath him, her fingers kneading the muscles over his back. Her orgasm hit seconds later, the sound of her cries filling the room with the music of feminine ecstasy. Her muscles quivered. He felt her convulse around his finger. His pants were still on. His arm was still in between them, but he had to bite his tongue – actually had to draw his own bitter blood to stop himself from coming with her.

It was the final straw. He stood, removing his pants in jerky movements before settling himself between her thighs. In his haste, she was able to catch him off-guard. One hand sneaked between them to feel his erection with curious fingers. Uninstructed and shy, her fingers brushed over the tip in tormentingly light strokes.

"Ahhhhh," he shuddered, involuntarily bucking against her palm.

Her eyes widened as her hand wrapped around him. "You're so..." She didn't finish. She didn't have to. He got the message. She was small. He wasn't. Even simple physics were against them.

Despairingly, he found himself wondering if this was even going to be possible. Thinking to test the waters before diving in, he carefully worked two fingers inside her. "Does this hurt?"

She shifted. "No, it feels...different."

"We can go as slow as you need to." He lied. Already he wasn't sure how much longer he would last.

"I don't want to wait any longer."

Her hand gripped him tighter and he was forced to pull his fingers out to quickly grab her by the wrist and pull her away. "You're going to make me lose control."

"I want you to."

"I can't. You have to..." He hissed in a breath as she shifted underneath him, the movement bringing his length in contact with soft wet flesh. "You have to try to relax."

She was breathing fast, breasts quivering, eyes heavy lidded. He wanted her so much it hurt. He didn't care what she said, this was definitely happening too fast. But he felt like he had been waiting for this for years, waiting with love and arousal and starvation.

Grasping himself, he brushed his length over her, shuddering at the intensity of just feeling that much of her. Slowly, he worked just the head in. Every muscle in his body screamed at him to sink into her. But he didn't. Even as he felt her start to get used to his size, he kept himself still.

"Akatsuki." She said his name in a moan. "Please."

He was in agony, his muscles tying in knots. He was already on the verge of ejaculating inside her.

Damn it, he had discipline. He could make this play out the way it was supposed to. His hand dug into the mattress, ripping through sheets and foam. He studied every detail in the floral patterned pillow cases, focusing on anything other than the beautifully erotic woman underneath him. Sweat beaded on his forehead. Every muscle began to ache with strain.

In his efforts not to lose himself, he forgot to hold her hips still. She began to undulate underneath him, working him in and out, taking him in a little deeper each time. He groaned, his head falling to her shoulder. "No, Ruka...."

"Yes." She whispered.

Without thought, he moved against her, his control slipping. He could feel that spot where he would have to force his way through. He knew it would hurt her, knew he was going to do it anyways.

Wanting to go slow but unable to stop once he'd started, he thrust forward, ripping through her barrier and burying himself to the hilt.

He groaned from unbearable pleasure. She yelped in pain, going instantly stiff. Her inner walls tightened around him like a clenched fist.

"No, don't tense up." He grated.

Her eyes squeezed shut. "It hurts."

He stroked her hair with a shaking hand then kissed her forehead. "God I wish it didn't."

Her eyes opened, glistening with unshed tears. This was tearing him apart. Whoever decided that this act should give her so much pain while causing him indescribable pleasure should be shot.

He needed to hold out longer. Any second now her vampire abilities would kick in, healing her and hopefully taking away the pain.

Like clockwork, he felt her relax around him. "Oh wait," She sounded surprised. "It's not so bad anymore."

The pain might have been gone for her, but he was suffering like he had never suffered before. He was on the edge, his arms braced on either side of her. His muscles trembled in an effort to hold still. There was no way he could survive this.

Gritting his teeth, he tested himself. Moving at an excruciatingly slow pace, he pulled out a little and slid back in. Taking a shuddering breath, he tried once more.

He stopped. "I can't..." He spoke between heaving breaths. "I have to..."

She traced her fingers along his back soothingly. Lifting her mouth to his ear she whispered to him in a seductive tone. "It's okay. Just let go."

He couldn't. This was not how it was supposed to be. He wanted her to peak with him. He refused to leave her with nothing more than the memory of pain.

He felt her lips trail to the side of his neck, felt her tongue delicately lick the skin over his vein.

He went totally still. "No, Ruka don't."

She ignored him and tenderly sunk her fangs into his throat, sighing as she drew blood. The mixed sensations became overwhelming, the throbbing pressure unbearable. He groaned, knowing it was over.

He grabbed her hips and held her against the mattress, then sank into her once. Grinding his teeth from need, he pulled out again and drove harder.

On his third stroke he came. A sound escaped his throat that was somewhere between a sob and a moan. Like an eruption, he surged, spilling himself inside her, unable to stop himself from rocking against her as it went on and on. He shuddered, overpowered by a pleasure that he had never imagined.

Releasing an explosive breath, he let his weight fall forward, just barely remembering not to move his neck from her mouth. His heart pounded in his ears as he tried to steady his breathing. Her pulls from his vein were unchanged. He wanted nothing more then to let her drink in peace while he recovered.

Turning them onto their sides, he held her against him. He still couldn't keep his hands off her and settled for stroking her back. "Oh Ruka." He said in a long breath. "You are everything to me."

* * *

**Hmmm maybe this lemon is a little bit short? Oh well, now that I've gotten this out there's plenty of room for more. I'll probably spend the next couple of days trying to think of the various ways I can get these two to have sex. lol**


	19. The Little Girl Inside the Woman

**I didn't get around to replying to reviews again, and I feel awful for it since I love them so much. Damn I'm like that guy that "forgets" your phone number after sex. I promise, baby, I'll call you back this time. **

**I know a lot of you are probably waiting to see what happens when Ruka finds out about everything, but I think you'll enjoy what this chapter has in store for you. ;p**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of it's characters, but I wish I had an anatomically correct Kain doll to sleep with.**

* * *

Ruka carefully withdrew her fangs from Kain's neck, her tongue coated with the sultry sweet taste of his blood. She was amazed at the vampire holding her, amazed at the way he had shaken and sweated and heaved. Even more amazed that she had been the one to cause that reaction. It would have been difficult to believe if it hadn't happened right in front of her. Calm, unemotional Akatsuki had completely come apart in her arms.

They lay on their sides. She rested her head on his arm, leaning into his shoulder. His hand was trailing down her back in slow strokes. While the storm of roaring sensations had been wonderful, the quiet was nice too, almost peaceful. She listened to the steady rhythm of his heart, let it lull her into relaxation.

"You knew I was standing in the hallway didn't you." He said against her hair, his deep voice doing funny things to her stomach.

It wasn't really a question, so she didn't give it a straight answer. "Maybe."

"How long were you standing there holding that painting?"

"Long enough that my arms started to ache."

He smirked. "You outdid yourself."

No she hadn't. She'd known him long enough to know that subtle suggestions wouldn't be enough. Odd that he was so intelligent yet clueless when it came to flirtation. Little hints went right over his head, so she'd gone with the more direct approach. He might have turned around and walked right back out the door to stop himself from "rushing" into things. It was a risk, but the rewards made it all worth it.

His hand stroked her side, causing her to shiver. He mistook it for a chill and lifted the covers over her. Strange that this didn't even feel the slightest bit awkward. Lying naked and in his arms gave her a tranquil feeling. It just felt right.

Smiling to herself, she decided she should have tried to get him in her bed ages ago. "Hmmm, I wonder if there's anything else in that dresser I could squeeze myself into." She mused aloud.

In her mind, she crossed her fingers, hoping he wouldn't suggest that this had been a bad idea from the beginning.

He pulled her closer. "Just warn me next time."

_Next time._ She liked the sound of that. "It may not be possible if I keep eating like I have been. My mother is going to have a conniption fit if I don't knock off a layer before I see her."

His hand stilled. Quite suddenly, his silence seemed different, more withdrawn. She was whining. It probably annoyed him. "I'm not complaining." She hastily tried to fix it. "I know I'm not overweight."

"Sounds to me like she's managed to convince you otherwise." He said skeptically.

She grabbed his hand, pulled it to her stomach, then lightly trailed it over her rib cage. "Without pressing, how many ribs can you count?"

He pulled back enough to look at her, a lock of red hair falling over his forehead. "What difference does it make?"

"It makes a difference." She said sternly. "Right now, none. The goal, four. That's the weight she expects, so that's what I shoot for."

He looked aghast. "That's sick."

Put off by his comment, she felt compelled to defend herself. "It's not unhealthy. I've never been feint or felt weak. It's just a requirement. A few skipped meals won't kill me."

"You don't question it. You're not disturbed by the fact that your own mother wants you to starve yourself. It's something your mother asks you to do, so you simply do it."

"When you put it like that it sounds worse than it actually is, but yes, that's the gist of it."

His jaw clenched, his face drawing into hard lines. Good lord, he seemed angry. What had she said to induce this?

"It's not a big deal, Akatsuki." She quickly tried to backtrack. "Sure I get hungry sometimes, but I'm used to it. Really. Don't let it bother you."

He moved quickly, his hand grasping the covers and yanking them off of her. The cool air brushed her bare skin. She had only been covered for a few minutes but suddenly she felt exposed, uncomfortable having him look at her naked. Using one arm to cover her breasts, she reached for the covers. "Hey! Give those back."

"No." He kicked them away. "Look at yourself and tell me it's not unhealthy for you to lose weight."

Ruka glared at him, her nakedness forgotten. "You think I don't already know what I look like?"

"Apparently, you don't, because otherwise you'd realize just how fucked up your mothers _requirements _are." The word left his mouth as if it tasted like poison.

"I already told you. I know I'm not overweight." Only by her mother's standards. "And you shouldn't curse."

"Why?" He asked flippantly. "Am I going to face the wrath of your almighty parents?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

He was quiet for a minute, those brown eyes watching her, studying her every reaction. No amount of lies and aversions would distract those eyes. _God, he sees right through me. _

An indefinite amount of time passed, before he spoke again. "Do you remember how old you were when you stopped eating?"

Ruka's discomfort increased. She tried to slither out from underneath him as if moving slowly might make it possible to sneak away.

Strong arms pulled her closer. A heavy leg settled over hers. Strange how she could feel both comforted and awkwardly exposed at the same time.

Trying to pretend he wasn't watching her, Ruka stared at his throat. "I never stopped eating."

"Eight." He stated. "You were eight."

The confidence in his voice shocked her. "You couldn't possibly know that for sure."

"I do. There was an exact moment when you changed."

"Oh there was not." Where was he getting this from? "If there was, I would remember it."

"Should I remind you?" As she tried again to move away, his hold tightened. "Stay. I think you need to hear this."

As she tried not to think about every place their skin touched, she was seized by a pang of guilt. He obviously thought he was helping her, no matter how far off the mark he was. Besides, he was speaking of a time that was so long ago there was no way he could remember it clearly. She'd just point out all the holes in his memory and he would drop it.

"Fine." She forced herself to relax. "Humor me."

Sighing, he leaned back, pulling her with him. "It was during one of the formal dinners your parents were always hosting. One of the exclusive ones. Only the richest noble families were there. Then there was Hanabusa and his sister, along with some other kids our age. Remember?"

"There were so many of those." She said smugly. "You'll have to be more specific."

"Hmmm, details." He said to himself, pulling her head to rest against the muscles of his shoulder. "The dress you were wearing was a light blue color, long and narrow, with a high neck. You had matching gloves, your ears were already pierced with little white pearls, your hair was done above your head with one strand curled over your cheek. It had only been a month since the last time I saw you, but you looked different...older."

Details. Wow. He had no problem remembering those. Even worse, she couldn't dispute them. Especially since she remembered that dress. Remembered hating it. It had been stiff and difficult to walk in, but her mother had said a little pain and discomfort was a small sacrifice to pay in the name of fashion.

"It wasn't just your clothes though. Your eyes had become darker. They were haunting, almost empty." His voice lowered to whisper. "What happened to you that month?"

"Etiquette lessons." Ruka replied simply, as if those two words did any justice to the hours and hours she'd spent with her mother slapping her hand with a ruler at the smallest slip.

He was quiet, as if waiting for her to say something else. She let the seconds draw out, listening to the tick of the clock on the nightstand, until finally he continued. "We hated those dinners. Remember? Being forced to dress up and sit for hours while our parents discussed politics, and money, and gossip. The only thing that made it bearable was that we were too young to sit with the adults. They always had a smaller table for us, far enough away from them that we wouldn't have to suffer through their conversations."

When was the last time she'd heard him talk this much? She tried to remember another time he'd told a story or given a speech. Couldn't. And gave up.

"I remember those dinners just fine. You don't need to remind me of them."

"Do you remember that this was the first one where you didn't sit with us?" He continued quietly. "Before you even made your entrance, I noticed that there weren't enough seats at our table. At first I thought maybe I had miscounted, or that the servants had made a mistake. But when you came down the steps, you even didn't glance towards our table. Your mother took you by the hand, and walked you right over to sit with the adults."

"You make it sound like that's a bad thing." Ruka interjected. "Maybe I wanted to be treated differently."

He gave her a sardonic look. "Is that why you glanced over your shoulder every five minutes to look at us?"

She averted her eyes. "My memory of that particular night is unclear."

"Mine isn't." Giving a casual shrug, he went on. "I doubt others noticed. You were very discreet about it, only looking when you thought nobody else would notice. I remember thinking it was strange though. The way you sat up with them, your back straight and your feet hanging over the edge of the chair. It looked like you didn't belong but you seemed resigned to bear through it."

"It wasn't that bad." Ruka insisted. "Mother was just trying to teach me how to behave myself for those types of things."

"Is that so?" He asked suspiciously. "From where I was sitting, it didn't look like a lesson. It looked like you were on display."

Grimacing, Ruka felt the truth of his words hit home. It was so like him to put it that way. Straight and to the point.

The memories weren't pleasant ones, but she faced them all the same. Despite the way she had been feigning ignorance, there were parts of that evening that were particularly clear. That first night she had sat with her parents for one of their social dinners had been unbearable. The other parents made comments about her to each other, saying that she was so well behaved, such a proper young lady for her age. Look at how demurely she holds her cup, how politely she smiles. _You even speak French don't you dear? And you can play piano?_

On display. Like an expensive, yet miniature, decoration.

"It was so disturbing to see you being treated that way." His deep voice softly narrated the memory. "I wanted to go over there and pull you away. Take you outside, away from their inspection."

"I would have gotten in so much trouble if you would have done something like that." It was a huge understatement.

"That wasn't the worst of it though." He continued as if she hadn't said anything. "The servants were distributing courses. And each time they came around to your side, your mother instructed them to leave you small portions. You were being so meek and proper, I doubt anybody else noticed, or if they did, they decided to look the other way."

"Well, I was only eight." Ruka cut in, wishing he would just drop it. "I would have eaten much less than everyone I was sitting with."

"You were hungry."

"I wasn't." Famished, actually.

"After the final course, when they were all just drinking and immersed in their boring conversations, you were eying a bowl of hot rolls. Don't deny it." He cut her off before she could argue. "I was watching you the entire time. You were practically drooling."

"I _never _drool."

"As I was saying," His face had a look of forbearance. "For the longest time, you never took your eyes off them. I was captivated, wondering when you would make your move."

A sick feeling began to creep in the pit of Ruka's stomach.

"The second your mother turned to talk to whoever was next to her, your hand reached out and snatched one. You almost got away with it too, but your mother was too quick. She caught you by the wrist. You dropped it."

"Well thank you very much for reminding me of how rude I was." Ruka bit out. "She's right. I should have known better than to reach across the table like that.

"Your mother scolded you."

"Of course she did!" She cried in exasperation. "I was rude. She scolded me. End of story."

Still maintaining a calmness that was driving her nuts, Kain looked at her evenly. "That's not what she scolded you for."

The room became cold, despite the heat of his body. There must have been a draft, because the chill crept over her skin. Desperately, Ruka tried to cover up her vulnerability with a haughty air. Turning her face away from him, she gave her best effort towards a look of sophistication even while in the nude. "This is pointless."

"Do you remember what she said to you?" His soft voice carried to her ear.

"No. And I don't care."

"Do you want me to repeat it?"

She wrapped her arms around herself. "Stop this. Right now."

"She whispered to you, but I heard every word."

"Don't." Her voice cracked.

Kain propped himself up on an elbow, leaning over so she was forced to meet his gaze. Dark brown eyes, concerned yet determined. God, he was going to say it.

"Young lady, you will either behave appropriately in my home or you can find yourself a new one. Eat that, and I will march you right out that door where you can stuff yourself like a pig. Just don't expect me to let you back in."

That statement, said straight and evenly, ripped open an old wound in her chest. Ruka felt as if she had teleported into the vividness of the memory. She was no longer a mature woman lying naked in the arms of a man; she was that little girl, sitting in the spotlight of a thousand old eyes, scared that her parents would abandon her.

_I want to stay here with you and Daddy. _She almost voiced the response from her childhood.

Kain weaved his fingers through her hair, kissed her temple, as if wanting to take back the pain he had caused. "Did she threaten to abandon you often?" He asked softly.

Not so often that she could have become immune to it, but enough to make it a very real fear. "You don't understand." Ruka clung to her composure. "They would have done it. Those weren't idle threats."

"I know." His thumb brushed over her cheek. "Believe me. I know."

He had said cold words to her, was now showing tenderness as if he wanted to take it back. As he pressed another kiss to her forehead her chest began to hurt, her emotions becoming overloaded. "If you know that then you should understand why I have to do what they say." She said quickly. "I can't just do whatever I want. I have to earn their approval." _Their love._

"If you could do whatever you wanted. What would you do?"

Ruka didn't think before answering. "I would stay here with you." Until voicing the words, she hadn't realized how much she truly wanted them to be possible. Just entertaining the thought, gave her a sense of despair. Like she had already lost something she would never have. "Oh Akatsuki." Her hands embedded in his soft red hair. "If I could, I would stay here like this forever."

His arms tightened around her, holding her with a strength that made it seem like nothing could get in their way. "You can, Ruka." He said gruffly, his lips brushing over her cheek. "Forget them. If they still can't see how wonderful you are they're never going to."

His lips settled over hers in a slow kiss, his tongue coaxing a response. Each stroke of his tongue, made her stomach clench, her heart pound, and her hands shake. How had they gone from talking about her eating habits to this? It seemed unreal.

He spoke against her lips. "You can stay with me. I'll protect you, take care of you. I won't ever leave you."

Her heart ached with every softly spoken word. He surrounded her in a dream, a glorious fantasy. And he made it sound so easy. All she would have to do is just not go back. Leave everything behind, live on their own like they had been here, leave all the rules and expectations of parents to that other world.

It could never happen. But she could pretend.

A strong hand slid between them, then covered her breast. He trailed hot kisses over her jaw and along her neck. His thumb rubbed her nipple in slow circles, until it ached and hardened. He gently pinched it and she broke their kiss to let out a breathless cry as liquid heat shot through her.

She was shocked that she could be resting and sated one minute, then he could have her aroused to the point of shaking seconds later. Even though he took everything in patient steps, the effect he had on her was undeniably powerful. Her body responded to every touch like it had been starving for it.

Lord, if he kept touching her like this, she just might end up following him anywhere.

Lifting himself onto his elbow, he gazed down at where his hand was caressing her breast. "God, you're so perfect." He said in a long exhale.

Glancing down, she had to admit the sight was incredibly erotic. His hand was dark against her pale skin. It was large enough to almost completely cover her breast. Strong fingers, were toying with the dusky hardened peak, causing electric sensations to course through her.

Her eyes trailed to his body, lured there by the sound of his heavy breaths. Taking in his heaving chest and stomach rippled with hard muscles, her mouth watered. This vampire had the body of a god, and he thought she was perfect? If it had been anyone else she would have called them a liar, but the way he was staring at her breasts, his eyes glazed over with piercing desire, made her feel sexy and wanted.

Her eyes continued to graze his torso then wandered lower and widened. "You're already..." She couldn't complete the sentence.

He gave a coarse laugh. "How could I not be?"

Not caring how it appeared, she openly stared at it. She had managed to sneak a touch in earlier, but she hadn't been able to look. She didn't have anything to really compare him to, but she would swear he was larger than most. It made sense considering how tall he was. And wasn't there some myth about the proportions of the male body and feet? Or maybe it was hands?

Either way, they were true in his case. Big hands, big feet, big...everything else.

Good god, no wonder it had been painful.

He must have mistaken her surprise for fear, because his hand stilled. "We don't have to do this again if you don't want to." He offered nobly, although it obviously pained him to say it.

"No – I mean, I want to, but..." She stumbled over the words. It had hurt at first but that had quickly gone away. A little relaxation and some vampire healing and she had been good as new. He had been able to touch her as much as he wanted, but then he'd stopped her before she'd even begun. It really wasn't fair.

"I want to touch you." She whispered, heat flushing her cheeks even as she said the words.

After staring openly for several moments, she finally dragged her eyes away to look at his face and was taken aback by the intensity of his gaze. Visibly swallowing, he nodded then moved to lay on his back, giving her total access.

Ruka turned to him, gazing down at his broad shoulders, muscular chest, and six-pack abs. Now that she had all this masculine perfection at her disposal, she didn't even know where to begin. But she wasn't one to hesitate when she saw something she wanted. And in her life, there were far too few opportunities to be naughty.

So without further consideration, she started at his flat stomach, running her palm over his navel and marveling at how the muscles contracted under her fingers. Biting her lip, she ran her fingers along that line of hair that lead lower and lower. His breath audibly quickened when she reached the darker hair at the base of his erection and proceeded to thread her fingers through it.

"Ruka," He spoke her name between heaving breaths. "You're killing me."

It was a good thing her hair was hiding her face, because it hid her wicked grin. _Slow torture isn't so nice when you're the recipient of it, is it Akatsuki?_

Brushing her hair over her shoulder, she gave him her best innocent pout. "Did I do something wrong?"

His face fell into a look of total helpless. He seemed torn between lust and frustration. "No just..." His head fell back to the pillow in defeat. "No, you didn't do anything wrong."

_Poor guy._ She almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

She returned her intent focus on that oddly intriguing body part and found that she actually had no clue how to go about torturing him. Besides the fact that she should definitely go slow. Slow was torture. He'd taught her that.

Carefully, she brushed the tips of her fingers along the shaft, marveling at how soft the skin was. He let out a long groan, gripping the sheets in his fists. When she reached the tip, she almost jumped out of her skin as it jerked towards her fingertips.

It seemed to have a life of it's own. How did men walk around with these things?

Lost in learning this completely new territory, she explored. As she wrapped her fingers around him she was surprised to discover she could barely touch her thumb to her middle finger. And why did that simple thought cause her to become even more wet?

"Tighter." His guttural voice caught her attention.

"What?"

"Tighter" He spoke through clenched teeth. "Grip me tighter."

She moved her hand closer to the head and squeezed. "Like this?"

"God, yes." He groaned, slightly thrusting into her hand as if trying not to.

Her breath caught, as he grew impossibly larger, the hot flesh swelling under her fingers. She was amazed at the effect she could have on him. His responses were quick and unhidden, his chest rising and falling in an uneven rhythm, his muscles rippling, his erection growing before her very eyes.

Just when she thought that she'd seen everything there was to see, a bead of moisture formed at the tip. Fascinated, she touched it with her index finger, and her vampire senses heightened in curiosity. The liquid substance was slippery and smooth, the smell musky. Without thinking, she lifted her finger to her lips and licked it, finding it curiously salty.

"Fucking Christ."

At his whispered curse her eyes shot up to his. He was watching her as if she was the last vampire on earth, and he was committing her every movement to memory.

Realizing she'd been caught, Ruka quickly dropped her hand, her cheeks reddening with embarrassment.

"Come here." Kain gave the order, but he didn't wait for her to obey. Instead he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her on top of him, then took her mouth in a hungry kiss.

Her breasts were crushed up against his chest. She could feel his heart pounding relentlessly. His erection was warm and hard against her stomach, pulsing every time their tongues met.

His knee pressed between hers, forcing her legs apart so he could roughly push his thigh between them. Uttering a small cry, she undulated her hips against him, in time with the hard pulls of her internal muscles. Her mind was lost and her body took over, seeking release no matter how shameful it would be to orgasm while rubbing herself against his thigh.

"I need to be inside you." He said gruffly. "Will you let me?"

Let him? She was going to kill him if he didn't do something. "Yes." She moaned. "Yes, please."

She expected him to roll on top of her, but instead he lifted her up, settling her so she was straddled across his waist. Stunned, she propped herself up on her hands and searched his features for an explanation. "You want me to be on top?"

His face was harsh, the muscle in his jaw jumping as he gritted his back teeth. But soft brown eyes gave away his concern. "I thought it might be easier for you if you had control."

Control? Meaning he was going to let her go as slow or as fast as she wanted? Yes, she quite liked that idea. He had far too much control anyways. It was high time he let her take some of it.

He wasn't waiting for her to respond. His hand slid from her waist to touch her between her legs, stroking soft sensitive flesh.

His fingers began moving in a languid circular motion. "God you're wet."

She pressed herself against his hand, panting in short breaths. "Yes."

He slowly slid one finger inside her, as if testing to be sure. "You're ready."

Unable to stop herself, she tried to take his finger in deeper. "Ahhh, yes."

He withdrew. And the sharp feeling of loss was quickly replaced with the thick head of his erection. She was already on the verge. Her stomach muscles knotted, her body aching for release. Filled with urgency she impulsively let her weight fall, taking in as much of him as she could all at once.

Her walls stretched unbearably. His body was unforgiving, hard as a rock, forcing her softer flesh to yield. Uttering a whimper, her breath came in sharp intakes. Would it hurt like last time? Despite her initial confidence, a slight fear took hold of her at the thought. Caught and trapped by the intrusion, she became increasingly tense, feeling the desperate need to free herself.

"Shhhh, easy there." His deep voice sounded through her panicked heartbeat. "Relax sweetheart, you're still too small to rush into this."

He had sat up enough to hold her and softly kiss her temple. Trying to steady her breathing, she focused on the soothing sound of his voice as his warm breath brushed her cheek. "I'm sorry. I should have known you would do something like that." He was saying. "Damn it. I wanted it to be good for you this time."

Relaxing in his arms, she touched his cheek. "It was good for me last time."

"No it wasn't." He pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth. "Not like I wanted it to be."

His erection was still half way inside her. The intimacy of that connection and his soft words made her chest hurt.

He brushed strands of hair aside from her forehead. "We don't have to keep going."

His heart was still thundering in his chest. His hands were gripping her hips so tightly that if she hadn't been a vampire, there would have been bruising. Sweat beaded on his forehead.

He was maintaining his sanity by a thread, but was holding back just for her. Before, his concern that he would hurt her had been frustrating, but now it made her love him all the more.

_Wait._

The pain in her chest. Her fluttering heartbeat. The way his heated gaze made her feel like she was glowing from within.

Ruka froze. Her mouth going instantly dry.

She was in love with him.

In love with Akatsuki Kain.

He took a deep yet shaky breath. Apparently taking her stillness to mean that she wanted to stop. "Am I hurting you?" He asked, his chocolate brown eyes studying her features.

She could barely speak, her voice coming out in the softest of whispers. "No."

He gave her hips a gentle squeeze. "Do you want to stop?"

Giving up on her voice, she just shook her head.

The tension in his body was still there, but his shoulders seemed to relax. "Just stay like this for a minute." He said as he loosened his grip on her hips, waiting to make sure she would be still.

When she didn't move, his hands slid up from her hips to cover her aching breasts, lifting their weight in his palms. Her heart started racing for an entirely different reason as his lips met hers in another kiss, this one tender and soft. His thumbs were moving in slow circles over her nipples, making the sensitive flesh swell. She moaned helplessly as his tongue lightly brushed her bottom lip.

One hand left her breast to touch her where they were still connected, rubbing against her clitoris in slow strokes. Warmth flooded through her, filling her with a potent mixture of emotion and arousal. She felt the heat pool between her legs, her inner walls pulsing around him, as the muscles in her stomach tightened with nearly unbearable pressure.

His other hand went back to her hip, holding her steady as she began to undulate against him. Drawing from an inner strength and control that only he could maintain, he began to lower her along his length, moving her just a little bit at a time. Her insides began to stretch to accommodate him, this time with much more ease.

"That's it." He spoke against her lips, his voice as rough as gravel. "Just take it in slowly."

Their breaths mingled. The thudding sound of their heartbeats filled the room. A few more inches and he was completely embedded inside her. Oh god, it felt so deep. With his thickness buried to the hilt and her emotions running out of control, it felt like no part of her was untouched. She was already about to fall over the edge. Unable to keep still, she tried moving her hips, but his hands had her in a firm hold.

He spoke to her as he leaned back. "Better let me do it. Next time, I'll let you have control."

She wanted to protest, to tell him that she couldn't take anymore slow torture, but when he started moving her world fell apart.

Slowly at first, almost pulling all the way out before carefully sliding back in. The muscles in her thighs pulled tight. Her hips writhed against his movements. The third stroke managed to reach some spot deep inside her, sending a lightning jolt of pleasure that caused her muscles to involuntarily contract around him.

At her breathless cry, he stilled for a mere second, his brown eyes carefully watching her every reaction.

And she knew. She knew that the purpose of his attentiveness had been to discover what buttons to push. And now that he'd found one, it would be exploited.

Strong hands held her hips still, as he began thrusting in sharp movements, each stroke hitting that spot, causing sparks of sensation that were so intense they were almost painful. Her body tipped over the edge and with a cry, she started convulsing.

He spoke to her as her orgasm took over, words of encouragement mixed with long groans. She couldn't hear anything. Her body was clenching around him in sharp electric pulses. All the while, he continued moving, each thrust prolonging her contractions.

"God, yes. Keep going." His voice grated almost to the point of a growl. His head fell back to grind against the pillow.

She couldn't have stopped even if she'd wanted to. The sensations intensified until her heart was hammering and her entire body shaking. She cried out as it became almost too much to bear.

After a final spasm, she fell over him in exhaustion, her body giving one small tremor before going limp. He was still hard inside her, his breathing deep and ragged against her ear. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he clasped her to him.

"Oh god." He started bucking against her in uncontrolled jerky movements. "Oh, fuck."

His entire body went stiff, his arms tightening around her. His head fell back to let out a guttural cry that ended with shudder.

For long moments, she lay motionless on top of him, feeling the pounding of his heartbeats underneath her as he still thrusted softly within her. They were both covered in a light sweat, their breathing still heavy. In the back of her mind, she noted that he was still inside her, but was far too exhausted to move.

Finally, when her brain started functioning again, Ruka was the first to speak. "I've never heard you curse so much."

His head tilted to the side as if he was trying to figure out what she was talking about. When the realization hit his chest rumbled with a chuckle. "What can I say? You reduce me to four letter words."

Yes, four letter words. They so effectively described the sensations.

It gave her something to think about, until minutes later, when he hardened inside her and started moving again. Then she ceased thinking all together.

* * *

**Plot. Oh yeah, there's a plot in here somewhere. It comes back in the next chapters. I do have other things in store for you besides sex. I swear!**

**Thoughts? Praise? Criticism? Ideas? Flames? What you had for dinner? Feel free to let me know whatever it is that your thinking, and leave a review. ^_^**


	20. Sex, Drugs and Bloody Roses

**So...it's been awhile huh?**

**But hey guess what, I got a job right after I finished school! **

**And now they're working me into the ground. I'm really sorry it's taken me such a long time to update but it's hard to find time to write when you're working 60 hour weeks. But I'm going to try to push through despite the ridiculously long hours I'm working. I promise to try. That's the best I can do.**

**Thanks so much to all of you that wrote reviews and sent me private messages during my long absence! You've motivated me to keep going. I picture this story having three parts and now comes part three.**

**Disclaimer: I make my own money now! So I'm not trying to make it off of this story.**

**

* * *

**

From the edge of the cliff there was a 400 foot drop. A waterfall gushed over the edge before crashing into the dense mist below. The river that followed had wedged a valley that extended for miles, creating a silver line that disappeared into the dark shadows of the mountains.

It could have been a beautiful scene, if it weren't for the disgusting scent of every dirty creature that scurried the forest. Still, jumping over the edge would be an impressive thrill.

Zero wondered if he would survive the drop.

One step forward, or a small jump. He'd turn his back to the water below and watch the sky disappear. The cold water would stop his heart, and then there would be silence.

"Boss, there's no sign of them here!"

Zero stopped himself from sneering at the man who'd had to shout over the sound of rushing water. The two following humans watched Zero tensely, as if afraid of his next move. Dressed in black, they looked more like FBI agents and were far too clean-cut for any self-respecting vampire hunter by Zero's standards.

"We've been over this place a thousand times. If there was something here we would have found it by now." The other one, who went by Slade, chimed in. He was thinner with a sweep of neatly groomed dark hair. While he may have appeared more refined, he had a few nasty habits and some seriously twisted fetishes. "When we find this bitch I'm going to teach her a lesson."

Case in point.

Zero leveled his gaze on the two of them. He didn't have to raise his voice to be heard. "If you want to go back to picking Level E's off the streets, then be good little rats and run off. I'm not going to stop you." Shit, he'd maybe even smile and wave.

It was a stupid move on the Vampire Hunter Association's part, sending these two to be his guards. And that is what they were. Sent to watch over him as if he were a misbehaving child. Zero may have been the best hunter in the ranks but the Vampire Hunter Society called him _unstable. _

Zero spit over the edge of the cliff. Carrying these two along was degrading.

"Your informant must have been off by several miles." The first one obtusely repeated an opinion he'd pointed out a hundred times already. What was his name again? Hines? He was a big man with no brains, sporting a mop of blond hair that somehow made him look like a choir boy despite his obvious attempts to act the thug. "Who did you say the informant was again?"

Zero gritted his teeth. "I didn't."

The beefy man looked like he wanted to say something else but took one look at Zero's glare and did the smartest thing he'd done in a week. He shut up.

In a brief glance, Zero took in his "assistants" appearances. Bags sagged under their eyes. Suits that had once been impeccable were now weighted down with mud and sweat. They were tired. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Zero had only allowed them one night of sleep in the past seven days.

Whatever. It wasn't his problem. Somebody should have told these humans that they wouldn't be able to keep up with a vampire, even an ex-human.

But lunkhead had a point. They hadn't been getting anywhere close. They had been given the run around for a full month now, following one false lead after another, until they ended up back here. This new information had seemed like a light at the end of the tunnel. And still, after spending a week covering a ten square mile radius around this exact spot, they had nothing.

Betrayal had a bitter taste, even if it was deserved.

With a nod, Zero signaled it was time to move on. The two vampire hunters dragged their feet in the dirt ahead of him, not waiting for Zero to take the lead. These two were newly assigned, after the last two agents had taken out a young vampire at some dumpy gas station forty miles east. The hunter society didn't look highly upon the slaying of so-called innocent vampires.

Last time, it had been a low class vampire who's death had so far gone unnoticed. This time, their orders were clear. Any more unwarranted deaths and they'd all be relieved of duty.

Hence the unwanted henchmen. Apparently, and rightly so, the hunter society thought Zero untrustworthy.

A chill wind blew. Grey clouds roamed over the skies. There was a shift in the breeze.

Zero paused to let the others move ahead. Something was off.

At a sharp pang of thirst, he grabbed a small tin out of his pocket and threw back two or twenty tablets. He chewed them methodically, his mouth near burning from their acidic taste.

He sniffed the air again.

"Stop." He gave the command, and allowed himself a moment to distinguish the inhuman scent brought on by the shifting winds. The hunters stilled simultaneously and turned to await orders.

Zero put the tin back in his ankle-length duster then took a deep breath before releasing a luxurious sigh. Humans slept deepest in the hours just before dawn. Now, Zero didn't know for sure since he'd never been one to get much sleep, but he was guessing that Vampires would be deep in their day sleep at dusk.

"Looks like you boys are moving up in the world." Zero felt the corner of his lips lift in a twisted grin. "Nobles are on the menu tonight."

* * *

The pounding of her own heart woke her up. Or at least, that's what Ruka thought at first. Even while she blinked groggily and tried to get her bearings, she felt the relentless beating against her ribs.

Something heavy had fallen on her chest, suffocating her as she tried to suck in sharp breaths. Icy seeds of panic sunk into her skin. In a rush of fear, she shoved the heavy weight off of her. The sound of a masculine grunt of pain caused a scream to lodge itself in her throat.

"What the hell." The sleepy male voice came from the edge of the bed.

In a flood of erotic images, realization hit her. She was in her room in the hide out. In bed.

With Akatsuki.

He hadn't been suffocating her. He had been holding her in her sleep, and she was a messed up psychopath who woke up shoving him off of her in a fit of panic.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, seeing that she had knocked him completely off the mattress. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was you."

Still on the floor, Akatsuki's brown eyes met hers wearily over the edge of the bed. "You thought I was someone else?"

"N-no. I mean yes. I mean..." Ruka shook off the annoying fear that must have been caused by a nightmare she couldn't remember. "I had forgotten about last night."

Mindless of his nakedness, Kain brought himself to his feet, showing off lean muscle from head to toe. He turned his head to run a hand through his hair, making it stand in a bed-ridden mess. "That's not much better."

Ruka tried to keep her eyes above the level of his shoulders and think about what he meant. She really did.

But God.

There wasn't a single inch of fat on his body. Standing before her, he could have been posing for a sculpture. The lines defining each muscle were perfect to be etched in stone. Her skin flushed as her eyes wandered lower. Ruka had heard that males often awoke in a not-so-relaxed state. Kain also wasn't...relaxed.

Licking dry lips she murmured, "Maybe you should remind me."

With heat in his gaze, he took a step towards her. Then stilled.

She heard it too. A scratching sound, not quite animal, coming from outside the sliding glass door.

"Get dressed. Now." Kain whispered the order, throwing a shirt at her from the floor. He grabbed the closest thing next to it, the jeans he had on the night before, and shoved his legs into them.

They had been discovered. In half a second they had both realized it. Her heart began its heavy pounding again, her every muscle tensing into knots. Ruka forced her shaking hands to move, and yanked the white T-Shirt over her head. Her lungs tightened and she had to force in each breath, but there was no time to panic, only action. So she moved.

She had just scrambled off the bed when the floor shook. One second she had been moving to the closet, in the next an arm had grabbed her around the waist with bruising force.

There was glass everywhere, sparkling over the messed sheets on the bed. Jagged edges had ripped into the carpet. Shock made her brain slow like thick sludge, and in a haze she realized the sliding glass doors had been shattered.

Kain had her against his chest, the heat from his body clashing against the freezing wind sweeping into the room. He was carrying her to the door leading to the hallway, probably moving faster than the human eye could see. Two dark figures emerged from outside, the dusk light framing their shadow sillhouettes. Black objects were in their hands.

Guns.

But they wouldn't be just any guns. Those would be weapons meticulously designed to slay vampires.

Kain moved at mind blowing speed, carrying her with one arm around her waist as if she weighed no more than a few pounds. Their surroundings became a blur, the momentum causing the air to fly over her skin in a vacuum. Through the hall, past the living room sofa, the sheer speed at which they were moving seemed to cause the whole house to shake.

They were at the exit to the underground tunnel. At the corner of the room, one of the vampire hunters lifted his weapon and aimed.

God, they weren't going to make it.

To Ruka's panicked mind, the order of events were unclear. The jerk in Kain's body seemed to come before the booming sound of the shot. Then there was a blood-curdling scream that must have come from her raw throat. Suddenly they were in the pitch black tunnel.

While maintaining a break-neck speed, Kain switched her to the other arm. Ruka saw the light at the end of the tunnel. It seemed to be coming at them. Closer and closer. They were almost there.

In a woosh, Kain propelled them out of the cave. Outside, a blizzard had hit the peak of it's storm. The forest was covered in a wall of pure white. Thick flakes made her hair cold and damp as harsh freezing winds stung her cheeks.

Something warm and wet was soaking the front of her shirt. The sweet scent of blood permeated the air. She should have had a feeling of elation at the thought of escape, but all Ruka could feel was sharp cutting fear at the way Kain's blood dripped into the snow. Frantically, her hands searched over his chest for the source. Her fingers ran over slippery skin, finding the hole in his shoulder. God there was so much blood!

She hardly noticed that Kain had come to a dead stop. "Akatsuki put me down! We have to stop the bleeding!" Her voice shook with panic.

"He'll live." Another deep voice came over the howling winds. "Lucky for him he's not the one we're here for. Unfortunately, Ruka Souen, I can't say the same for you."

The strength seemed to leave Kain's body and his arm loosened. Her bare feet sank into the bed of wet snow. Ruka's muscles tightened in horror as her nose picked up a scent she recognized. A choked cry escaped her lips.

The hunter society had sent Zero. She was already dead.

* * *

Everything from the harsh snow to the leafless trees had turned to deep shades of red, and Kain knew that meant that his eyes were even darker. The blood oozing out of his shoulder to the snow on the ground appeared black through his hazy vision. His body was being drained while his instincts were screaming to kill any threat to the woman in his arms.

The tall white haired figure seemed to blur and move side to side. As his eyes struggled to focus on the vampire in front of him, Kain knew something was off. Even with the loss of blood he shouldn't have been this disoriented.

He heard the sounds of boots pounding on stone before the two humans appeared from the cave opening. With his adrenaline raging and his eyesight gone feral, Kain reacted with a surge of power, attacking the man who had his weapon aimed at Ruka.

Kain hardly felt his own feet move before he had a human wrist in his hand. Bones crunched under the the strength of his fist and the gun fell into soft snow.

The human let out a falsetto scream. Out of the corner of his eye, Kain saw the other one launch himself at Ruka. She was quick, ducking from the brunt of the blow by turning on nimble feet. But the man managed to grab a handful of her hair and she let out a cry of pain as he yanked her head back.

A roar came from Kain's chest as he launched himself towards her only to have a fist deliver a powerful blow to his stomach.

His diaphram spasmed, his stomach clenching as his knees threatened to give. The trees around him began to spin, the ground seemed to tilt back and forth underneath his feet. An attack of nausea made bile rise in his throat.

He saw the dark haired human take Ruka down. She hit the snow face forward. The human's knee jammed into the small of her back as she struggled. Kain only caught their movements in slow motion while seering hot rage ran through his veins.

_Jesus, No!_

The sound of his own heart, thudding in deep slow beats, roared in his ears. His vision went black at the edges. Deep rooted vampire instincts kept him upright and fighting, refusing to let his body shut itself down.

With the clumsiness of a tranquilized beast, Kain grabbed a fistful of Zero's jacket throwing him to the side so he could reach Ruka. His limbs felt like they were moving through sludge as he pushed himself forward. The bastard managed to wrench Ruka's arm behind her back and aimed his gun at the back of her head.

Kain's heart stopped, his mind screaming in terror. "No!" His desperate denial came out in a roar.

He only made it two steps before the gunshot rang out.

Kain saw nothing. Heard nothing. Only felt the tearing despair that ripped through his chest.

Not even the sudden burning in his thigh broke through the deep inner pain. His body didn't seem to be his own as he collapsed, his legs buckling underneath his own heavy weight. His knee caps hit the ground with a crack.

Still standing, Zero's boots crunched in the snow as he approached Kain's profile. "You nobles make me sick."

At the sound of a female scream, Kain's eyes shot open in search of Ruka, only to have sharp pain shoot through his head as Zero pistol whipped him with the butt of the Bloody Rose. As throbbing pounded behind his eyes, Kain saw Ruka's figure still moving has she fought for her life.

The gun shot had been for him, not her.

_Thank God._ She was still alive.

But his hope was short lived as Zero took control of the scene. "Hines stop laying there like a pussy and grab your weapon."

Hines, who had apparently been the one who's Kain's wrist had just broken, was laying on his side and cradling his arm.

"He fucking crushed my bone!" The big man moaned, as he attempted to bring himself to his knees.

"I'm not going to tell you twice, you stupid oaf." Zero's teeth audibly ground together. "Grab your weapon, point it at his head, and don't move unless I order you to. Got it?"

Hines weakly brought himself to his feet, grabbing the weapon out of the snow. Then aimed it shakily at Kain, his eyes bloodshot and watering.

Kain hardly registered their interactions, he had his eyes on Ruka, who had managed to launch the other hunter off of her. The hunter grabbed her shirt dragging her with him, he barely managed to get on top of her as she went for his eyes, scratching marks into his face.

Kain tensed to spring to his feet, but his muscles refused. With icy cold fear, he realized the dizziness of his mind had exponentially worsened. His gut clenched as he struggled to fight it.

"Slade! This isn't a fucking gang rape! " Zero barked orders. "Get off of her and bring her over here."

As soon as the man brought Ruka to her feet, she stopped struggling, her eyes falling to Kain in horror. "Oh Akatsuki." She all but sobbed, her gaze taking in his blood soaked leg.

Wearing nothing but a large shirt that came to her mid-thigh, her body was shivering in the bitter cold, but she didn't seem to notice. Her pupils were dialated, her bare feet dragged in the snow as the hunter who had her arms behind her back brought her close enough to see Kain kneeling on the ground with a gun pointed at the back of his head, the hunter behind him ready to complete an execution.

Something was wrong with them. Ruka was struggling to support herself and the asshole who had taken her down was now the only thing stopping her from collapsing. Her slender legs wobbled underneath her.

Now that she was nearer Kain could see the syringe sticking out of her upper arm.

"You drugged us." Kain's tongue stumbled over the words. No wonder she hadn't been able to fight off the man who had her.

Ruka flinched as Zero yanked the needle out of her arm. "Just now figured that out did you?" He threw the needle into the snow, as if he wanted no part of it. "You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to create a drug strong enough to effect vampires. Took the guys in the lab three years to perfect it."

Kain didn't speak. He wasn't even sure if his lips would function. He kept his eyes glued to the man with his filthy hands on Ruka. She was half naked and freezing, her long legs exposed. Kain was on the ground, in only a pair of jeans and coated in his own blood. What they had been doing inside was obvious. Then they had been so quickly flushed out and subdued. If Zero's goal had been humiliation then he had succeeded.

"Feels like hell, doesn't it?" With a disturbingly blank expression, Zero leaned over to look at Kain's shoulder, as if inspecting the results of their surprise weapon. "I should know. They tested the shit out on me first. Hard to find vampires to experiment on, unless your willing to experiment on ex-humans until they go level-E. I'm not."

Letting his eyes trail away from Ruka, Kain narrowed in on the lethal vampire hunter's face. It swayed back and forth, going double and single and back again.

Still casually perusing Kain'swounds, Zero jerked his head towards the man barely maintaining his hold on his weapon. "Hines over here is using a prototype. Silver bullets coated in chemicals. Seems it took two shots to take a big guy like you down." His brows drew together. "Actually, you shouldn't even be conscious right now."

Apparently finished assessing Kain's condition, Zero straightened. "It has some nasty side effects by the way. Makes tablets almost completely ineffective." As if to punctuate his words, he took a tin out of his pocket, pouring out a handful before throwing them into his mouth and crunching them between his teeth like candy.

"You planned this." As Ruka swayed forward, the man holding her wrenched her arms behind her back and jerked her upright. Her voice was raw and scratchy from screaming. "Drugging me that night, getting us out of Kaname's protection. You were behind all of it."

As if insulted, Zero had the grace to grimace at her accusation. "Actually, the human who drugged you that night had been a problem for a long time. Perverts like that deserve what's coming to them." He twirled the bloody rose in his hand then pointed it towards the ground in front of him as if checking the scope. "If you hadn't finished him off, I would have. Gladly."

The bastard seemed to be enjoying his time on the soap box, but Kain had stopped listening. His unfocused gaze had jerked back to Ruka, or more specifically, the man who had her slender wrists grasped in a tight grip.

The human wrenched her arms higher against her back. Then took a good look over her shoulder at the way the shirt had pulled against her chest, outlining her breasts and making her nipples press dusky indents into the fabric. Kain's shoulders went taught, his every muscle tensing despite the way it caused more blood to ooze from his wounds. His fingers dug into his palms as his hands clenched into fists.

Ruka's head had slightly fallen forward from fatigue, but she was alert enough to grasp her vulnerability. Kain's heart sped as she lifted her gaze to his. Her lips were a thin line, her expression somber. Behind her fear there was a shattering resolve, as if she was resolved to her fate, expecting this to end in her violation.

"Want me to finish off where your vampire lover began, baby?" The man sneered in her ear.

A low growl emerged from Kain's throat. He couldn't control the sound, not while hot rage boiled through his veins. That human was going to die. Kain would kill him. He would rip his fucking head off.

"Jesus, Slade, have you even been listening to a word I've been saying?" Zero asked in disgust.

The human straightened, cleared his throat. "Yes, boss." After a wide eyed look at Kain, he took a small step back from Ruka, still holding her arms but putting some distance between their bodies. It was the only reason he still lived.

_I won't let him touch you, Ruka._ Kain tried to make promises with a look in his eyes. _God I don't know how, but I'll get you out of this._

There was a reason they weren't dead yet. Kain didn't care what it was. He'd give anything to keep Ruka breathing and untouched. He forced himself to stay conscious by focusing on the burning pain in his leg and shoulder. "She's not the one you want. It was me. I was the one who killed the human that night."

"Akatsuki what are you doing?" Ruka whispered in shock.

"Very noble of you." Zero said, almost reverently, as if it was something he could respect. "But you don't honestly think that's going to work do you?"

The world spun upside down, but Kain managed to stay upright. He wouldn't give these assholes the satisfaction of seeing him go down under their fucking bio-weapons. "Look at her." He managed a gesture towards Ruka by jerking his head, ignoring the way the movement caused another wave of dizziness to make his head pound. "She couldn't hurt a fly."

"So, you kill a human against the pureplood's moral code and Kuran decides to kick her out of his faction? Does that pretty much sum it up?" Zero let out a caustic laugh, the sharp sound causing both humans to jerk as if expecting him to lose it. "I don't think so."

Despite their situation, Ruka stood taller, becoming more confident now that she wasn't being groped and admired by the asshole who'd grabbed her. "You'll have to do better than that. I've been following Kaname-sama since childhood. He would never do something like that. Not to me."

Zero gave her a disbelieving look, then spoke under his breath. "Pathetic. She has no idea. Have they been keeping you in the dark all this time?" Still skeptical, he glanced at Kain. "If his advisor doesn't even have this much information, he'll be of little use to us."

Swallowing a lump of regret, Kain tried not to slur his speech. "I knew of it. She didn't."

"You've both lost your minds." Ruka said, stubbornly holding on to the belief that this was all a farce. "Kaname didn't kick me out of his faction. We've been...close our entire lives. You just don't want to admit that by killing either of us you'll be at fault for instigating a war."

Zero ignored her, scratching his chin as if reassessing his strategy. Kain couldn't bring himself to speak.

Ruka looked from Kain to Zero and back again. "It's an obvious lie."

Snow fell to the ground silently. The whistle of the wind was her only response.

"It isn't true." She tried again, her voice growing softer. Her eyes settled on Kain, searching for truth. "Is it?"

Kain's throat constricted, the tightness in his chest made it difficult to breath. Knowing that he had failed her, no betrayed her, by letting her find out like this, he didn't allow himself to shift his gaze. He just let his honesty reveal itself in his unchanged expression and made himself watch as the painful truth made Ruka's features twist in despair.

A silent tear slipped down her cheek. Her shoulders deflated. The hurt of betrayal in those rose colored eyes was something that he would never forget. The image would etch itself into his mind, haunt him for the rest of his short life.

_I'm sorry, Ruka._

"Why the hell are we stalling?" The one with his gun shakily aimed at Kain shifted on his feet, barely managing to keep his voice below a squeak as he spoke through the pain of his shattered bone. "We know she's the one who did it. Let's take her in."

Kain tore his eyes from Ruka as his drugged mind began to wrap around those words. If it hadn't been for the drugs he would have realized it sooner. They weren't here to simply murder. Their goal was to capture and interrogate first, then execute.

He grasped at his last chance to save her, forcing his sluggish tongue to form words. "She can't give you anything. Kaname kept her under his roof but never trusted her more than a servant."

"Your grasping at threads, vampire." Zero dismissed him.

"I've been advising him for years. You've seen it yourself. In all of our meetings, who stands at his side? Who speaks in his ear?" As he watched Zero's back stiffen, Kain became more sure of himself. Kaname had kept a tight lid on any information they had obtained about the vampire hunter's agenda, and Kain was one of the few who had access to it. "The hunter association will never believe that it took two vampires to kill one weak human. They'll know this is about your personal vendetta, not justice. Kill us both, and you can kiss your promotion to president goodbye."

Zero turned and stared at Kain with something akin to shock in his expression.

_That's right._ Kain thought, letting the meaning behind his words sink in_. I'm the one you want. Keep Ruka out of it._

Seeming to hold onto his sanity by a thread, Zero's left eye twitched. Then he exploded. "Goddamn it!"

The two lackeys jerked again. Hines shifted on his feet, appearing as if he thought he had his weapon aimed at the wrong person.

Now pacing, his boots crunching in the snow, Zero ranted. "That pureblood bastard set us up. Kicking her out of his faction – the one that doesn't know a goddamn thing. Now everyone and their mother thinks she did it. Meanwhile, we have his advisor. His fucking _personal advisor_. And I can't even shoot him!"

The soon to be dead man holding Ruka's arm watched Zero wearily. "Boss, our orders were clear."

"She's got to have something." Zero ignored his henchman, his white hair blowing wildly in the wind. "She's a Souen for Christ's sake."

"Not anymore." Kain's throat felt raw as he spoke. Closing his eyes against a surge of emotion, he made himself finish. "They disowned her."

As an awful sobbing sound came from Ruka, Zero stopped in his tracks. "Shit. He's right." Stunned, he stood still, staring at her as the wind whipped his coat around his legs. "She's completely useless."

With her head bent forward, her chestnut hair blowing over her face, Kain couldn't see her eyes – wasn't sure if he wanted to – but his heart ached with the need to go to her. At that moment, he would have given anything to be able to hold her, to tell her that he would make everything alright, that she didn't need Kaname or her parents, that he could take care of her for the rest of their lives.

But it would have been a lie, because his life expectancy had just been reduced from an eternity to mere days. And that's if he was lucky.

"Kaname lost my loyalty when he abandoned her." Kain's resolve deepened. "I've been close to him, standing next to his side since we enrolled at the Academy. Whoever's been informing you so far knows nothing compared to me. I can give you names, places, secret doors."

Despite the shock of having her entire life turned upside down in an instant, Ruka managed to lift her head. Her voice was hoarse. "Don't do this, Akatsuki."

Keeping his eyes trained on the back of Zero's head, Kain ignored the daggers that came from the look in her eyes. "I'll take the stand and say that I did it. That I killed the human while enraged by what he did to Ruka." It was what he wished had been true. "Whether or not I did it doesn't matter. I'll make them believe it was me. You'll get your information and you'll get your murderer."

With a turn, Zero leveled a cold violet stare at Kain. "You will confess and you will confess and you will confess again." Zero said, his voice going lower with each word. "Until the day you die."

Their eyes met in understanding. Kain gave a nod of assent.

Without looking, Zero tossed something in Ruka's direction. "Give her enough to knock her out."

Slade caught it from the air, and Kain's gut clenched as he realized they intended to give her more of that god-fosaken drug.

Ruka let out a sharp cry as she caught sight of the syringe and her weak struggles began anew. Pure fire shot through Kain's every pore, as the man jerked her by the arm, grabbing her violently enough to bruise. Slade tore the cap off the syringe with his teeth, digging his fingers into her soft pale skin. Kain felt his lips lift from his teeth in a snarl. His vision went red, his wounds forgotten. A soft whimpering sound came from between Ruka's lips as the needle jammed into her arm.

Kain snapped.

His muscles screamed in protest as he sprung forward, the throbbing in his head causing his ears to roar. The hunter looked up, face twisting in horror.

Flames were already flickering over Kain's skin as he took hold of the beady eyed man by the throat. Calling forth every raging fiber of his body, Kain pushed the building heat out his palm. The inferno had been storing itself in his body since the ordeal began, and it came out with enough force to explode.

The scent of burning flesh mixed with the sound of blood curdling screams in a satisfying symphony of torture until the scorched body went limp in his hand. It fell to the ground with a thud, and became nothing more than black lump of flesh in wet snow.

"Holy Christ!" Hines lost it. Fear making the pitch of his voice rise even higher. "Did you fucking see that? He just burned him alive!"

There were sounds of a scuffle as Zero brought his lackey under control, but Kain hardly noticed. Staring at the body in horror, Ruka took a step back, her whole body trembling. A sliver of blood, contrasting sharply with her white skin, dripped down the side of her arm. In shock, her eyes drooped. She swayed backwards.

Kain caught her before she collapsed, gathering her freezing body in his arms. She was so cold! His heart wrenched as she sagged against him, one cold cheek resting on his heated skin. He ran his hands over her arms and shoulders, trying to keep her blood flowing. Her skin felt like ice under his palms.

"Why?" The word came from her lips in a whisper, and Kain was shocked to discover she was still conscious. Teeth chattering, her breath blew icy chills over his skin. "You don't have to do this. I didn't ask for a hero."

How could she even ask him this? Wasn't it obvious? When it came to her life and his, there was no choice, no second thoughts. His entire life, she was all that had ever mattered. Whether or not she'd asked for it had no bearing. His undying love simply was.

"There's no other option, sweetheart." Pressing his fingers into her scalp, her hair wet and heavy with snow, he held her tightly against him, crushed that he couldn't give her more than the heat from his body. "Stay here for a few nights, wait for Seiren. If she doesn't come then go to my parents house, tell my mother I sent you. Try to get in contact with Hanabusa. He'll help you get on your feet."

"They'll kill you."

Yes. They would. There were no words of consolation. No matter how much he had withheld from her in the past month, he couldn't tell her a lie.

"Don't ever think that this is your fault." He said instead. "Promise me you'll remember that I chose this. I chose to die for you."

Her head pulled back so she could look up at him, her eyes now barely open. "I don't want you to die for me Akatsuki. I want you to _live_ for me."

_God._

She'd finally asked for something that he wasn't sure he could give. A burning sensation pressed at his eyes, a well of emotion causing wetness to form under his lids.

Her body went slack. The beating of her heart slowed to a weak but steady rhythm as she went under the effects of the drug. Kain lifted her in his arms. Her weight was next to nothing, but his body felt like a thousand tons.

With legs of lead, he trudged towards the cave opening only stopping once to give the hunters a murderous glare. Zero stood unaffected, but Hines cowered and took two steps back, eyes fixed on Kain as if he was some kind of fire-breathing monster.

Scaring the human probably wasn't the smartest move, but Kain wasn't feeling particularly amenable toward vampire hunters at the moment - especially the human variety.

He made it a few steps into the cave. The walls blocked the wind but the temperature was still below freezing. Her lips were blue, her full lashes dark against pale cheeks.

God, he couldn't leave her like this. He'd fight them here before letting her freeze to death.

There was a gentle nudge at his shoulder. Kain saw the dark jacket extended from an arm attached to Zero. The white-haired hunter was standing quietly, his eyes averted as if not wanting to acknowledge his own actions.

Fine. Let the hunter freeze in his shirt.

Kain took the jacket, set Ruka down and draped her in the heavy cloth. Her last words echoed in his mind.

_I want you to live for me._

Death would be the surest way to protect her, but Goddamn it, it was what she wanted. And he was going to try his hardest to give it to her.

* * *

**hmmmm, my interpretation of Zero may be a little off, but if you thought he was way ooc, don't worry. I won't be adding him into the story too much except to explain some motivations.**

**As with every other fanfiction author, I love reviews. So feel free to drop me a line. If you can't think of anything good to say, don't let that stop you. Tell me what you really think! **


	21. The Cover Up Disclosed

**Argh! Slowest updates evar! At this rate I'll finish this story in what, a year? God I wish I had more time to write. Maybe if I take a few days off of work and lock myself in my room...**

**Anyways, I was too lazy to reread my previous chapters, but if everything goes according to plan then the plot points should all fit in. So I apologize in advance if there's anything that doesn't add up.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. And thank you for all your reviews and for sticking with it all this time!**

* * *

When she awoke, Ruka felt nothing.

It was a strange thing. This total sense of nonexistence. There was a rocky surface at her spine and a biting cold wind on her cheeks, but neither provoked discomfort. She couldn't be dead. For surely even death would involve some type of emotion.

The howling wind was a lullaby and the cold sank into her bones making them numb. Her eyelids fluttered shut.

Drifting off, waking up, then drifting off again. By now she had become accustomed to the pattern.

Time passed.

At the sense of another presence, she opened her eyes yet again.

Soft moonlight came from the cave opening just to her side. If she turned her head just a little, she could catch the tops of leafless tree branches swaying and creaking in the wind. And if she turned her head even further, she could see where the rocky cave entrance met with flakes of snow fluttering in from outside.

And there in the snow, sat a panther.

Ah, and now she was so far gone that she had begun to have drug induced hallucinations. Because really, what other explanation could there be for a creature like that to be wandering the mountains in two feet of snow?

"Go away." Even a croaking whisper caused her throat to painfully constrict, and it really wasn't worth the effort if she was only speaking to imaginary spirits.

The cat blinked, then let out a yawn, showing off long pointy fangs. Ruka's heart did a little flip as the nimble beast rose on its haunches. Stretching long powerful limbs and extending vicious claws, its size wasn't massive, but the sheer power it restrained was frightful enough. With the unmistakable grace of a predator, it began pacing along the cave opening, prowling from one side to the other, never taking its hungry gaze off her figure.

It was what finally made her come fully awake. While her mind felt dead, some inner instinct told her to survive. Maybe this panther was only a figment of her imagination, but if it wasn't, then she was about to be its dinner.

Her muscles ached in protest as she brought herself to unsteady feet. The heavy dark cloth that had been covering her fell to the stone floor. Frigid air brushed her bare limbs and she looked down to see the long white t-shirt she was wearing, the front of it soaked with Kain's blood.

She stared at it blankly, crusty brown splotches mixed with deeper red spots that were still wet. There was so much of it...

The panther was a distraction. Still, it watched her, it's sleek black fur gliding over a honed muscular form.

"If you're going to make a move, I suggest you do it while I'm still somewhat sedated." She challenged, hoping that speech would make her feel more alive.

The panther stopped then leaned back to stretch its front limbs like a lazy kitten. After another luxurious yawn, it sat on it's haunches to observe her. It seemed just as sleepy as she felt, as if it had been laying by her side for hours.

Then again, she could relate to that display. Aloofness was a perfect mask for hiding one's emotions. Hadn't she been the one to perfect that mask of disinterest? The panther feigned boredom but its ears stayed trained towards her, its eyes averted but watching her at the same time. She could have taught this cat a few lessons in the art of pretense.

Seeing a kindred soul, Ruka stared it down. If it was a figment of her imagination, then she was a lot more creative than she gave herself credit for. Its eyes were...different. Weren't cat eyes supposed to be yellow or green? Not this panther. Its eyes were dark, almost as black as its fur, with a depth that gave her the eery feeling that there was an entity lurking inside - a soul filled with sorrow and regret.

It looked away. She took one step back. When it didn't pursue her, she took another.

"You can't come in here, can you?" She whispered.

_Yeah that's because you created it in your head. You idiot._

It sounded stupid even to her own mind, but the cat began pacing again as if testing the boundaries of its cage.

She chanced a look over her shoulder. The dark tunnel lead to the abyss that had housed a dream. It had contained everything she loved but had never known she wanted.

_Peace. Warmth. His scent. His touch. Blissful isolation._

The twisting ache in her chest was quickly covered by a feeling of absolute disgust. She should have spat since nobody was looking, but all she could do was despise herself and push down that deep pain.

This hideout had been a blasted cage. That feeling of sanctuary had been compiled of lies and betrayal.

No. She wouldn't go back in there.

_Stay here for a few nights. Wait for Seiren._

Yeah, like she was going to listen to anything _he _told her to do. The one to lead the vampire hunters here had probably been Seiren in the first place. At this point, nobody could be trusted. Not her peers. Not her friends. Not even her own parents.

Decision made, she grabbed the dark blanket that had been covering her, absently noticing that it was Zero's duster. There was probably some deeper meaning behind the cold-hearted hunter taking the jacket off his back to cover a noble, but what did it matter?

A glance towards the cave opening verified that the panther had disappeared as if it had indeed been a hallucination. Throwing the duster over her shoulders she took one hazy step out of the cave, her bare foot sinking into inches of wet snow. Confused by the sensation, she stopped to study the ground.

Shoes. They were missing. She wiggled her toes for a second, temporarily amused by the way snow flakes sparkled over her skin. Feeling light headed, she forced herself to take another step, then another and another...

It wasn't until hours later, after she had long since left the hide out, that she realized the panther had never truly left her side.

Oh but it didn't follow her like a pet. A cat of its superior stature would never reduce itself to cute antics. Still, whenever she found her eyes searching for it, the cat was simply there.

Sometimes it flickered by her side, its footprints absent from the snow. Other times it would perch up the mountain and watch her progress, its eyes hidden in the shadow of its silouette. Maybe it was pushing her to continue, or maybe it was waiting for her to collapse and become easy prey.

Ruka still wasn't certain that she hadn't created it with her mind, but its presence was strangely comforting. While a little creepy, it nevertheless gave her a sense that she wasn't alone.

The snow dampened the sounds of the forest, filling the air with silence. Her feet had gone numb some time ago. Her thighs had begun to shake. Her lungs took in frigid air with each deep breath.

But she didn't feel pain.

With no sense of direction, she had followed the panther, ignoring superstitions of paths crossed by black cats.

One foot in front of the other, for hours upon hours.

Ruka's mind eventually seemed to clear as she focused on the exertion. The rhythm of her own breaths sustained her, the pattern of her thoughts consisting of nothing more than a mantra. The searing beams of the wretched sun only made her feel alive, and when it set again she let her enhanced vision push her forward.

It wasn't until she thought her body might collapse of its own volition, that she finally saw a light at the end of the tunnel. This light came in the shape of a sporty, red and ridiculously extravagant sports car.

Ruka closed her eyes, tried to reclaim her sanity, and opened them again.

No. Not her imagination.

She had come to a clearing that lead to a narrow street. The underbrush hid her figure in shadows, but the full moon lit the clearing like a bedroom window, the red car a bright spot of blood on white sheets.

Something sleek and soft brushed her thigh and she glanced down to see the panther sitting next to her. It watched her, its soulful eyes luring hers.

Those eyes...they looked so familiar.

"Kaname?" she whispered.

Like a mere reflection on rippling water, the image of the panther flickered, then vanished before her very eyes.

"Ruka-chan!" An obnoxious holler echoed through the forest, causing her to jerk in surprise.

"I can hear you just fine, idiot." She grumbled as she emerged from the trees.

It didn't take long to cross the distance to the vehicle, and it took even less time to identify her escort. From his polished loafers to an impeccably matching white suit and tie, Aidou looked more like he was going out on a date than picking up his fugitive comrade.

"Ruka!" This time it was more of an exasperated gasp rather than a shout. "Where the hell are your shoes?"

Slightly disoriented, Ruka stepped out of the snow and onto the road's rocky surface. "There were no animals around to hunt, so I had to eat them." She said flatly.

His jaw dropped.

Ruka rolled her eyes. "I'm just kidding, Hanabusa. Is that honestly the first thing you're going to say to me after all that's happened?"

Justifiably chided, he managed a blush that she was sure made other girls swoon. "Of course not Ruka-chan. Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

Maybe she was supposed to ease his mind, let him know that she was, for the most part, uninjured. But all she could do was stare at him blankly. This seemed so surreal. Everything from being attacked by the hunters to childish banter with Aidou felt like a foggy dream.

"It happened so fast." Her voice sounded distant to her own ears. "There was no time to..."

"I know. I know." Aidou cajoled as he pressed his palms to the sides of her face. Remotely, Ruka noticed that he was studying her, searching for injuries. It would be impossible not to notice the scent of her blood-soaked shirt, but he took a step back as he must have realized that none of it was hers. "God, your hair is drenched. You must be freezing! Can you feel your toes? Are they frostbitten? Lets get you into the car. I'll turn the heat on."

Taking her by the elbow, he tried leading her, but Ruka didn't budge. Something felt wrong. She'd known Aidou all her life and for the first time, thought maybe she couldn't trust him. "Do you even know what happened?" She asked.

"Yes. We know the hunters have him." He put an arm around her back, and made her take a few small steps with him. "Akatsuki's alive though, so it's just a matter of time before we can save him. What's important now is getting you out of the cold."

"But where are we going?"

"I'm taking you back to Kaname's mansion."

That didn't seem right. "Why?"

His voice became irritated. "Because Kaname asked me to come and get you, alright?"

"Kaname?" Hadn't he discarded her from his faction?

"Yes. Kaname." Taking her by the hand, he tried to drag her along, but she dug her heels into the ground. Exasperated, he tugged at her hand as he spoke. "You know, the pureblood we've been following for most of our lives."

"But what are you going to do when we get there?"

"Jesus, Ruka!" He stopped and faced her, a crease forming between his brow. "Do I have to carry you?"

Ruka knew she was being ridiculous, but just couldn't seem to wrap her mind around everything. Meeting his eyes defiantly, she kept her feet planted. "I don't see a problem with answering a few simple questions."

Aidou took one look at her and then to the car, as if judging her weight and the distance. Then he gave a frustrated sigh. "When we get there, the first thing I'm going to do is report to Kaname that you're home, safe and sound, with all of your fingers and toes. Which, by the way, may end up being a lie if we don't get going soon." He leaned forward and glared. "You might heal quickly but you know if your toes have to be amputated they're not going to grow back right?"

His fussing had no effect. She hadn't felt the cold since long before she'd arrived. Besides, this all seemed so wrong. Why was he acting like _she _was the one that needed help? Where was his concern for his cousin?

He walked around the car and stood holding the passenger door open for her – the perfect gentleman, his expensive suit adding to his image of the extravagant fool. It was just like her mask of aloofness – like the panther's mask of boredom.

But everyone knew that Aidou was extremely intelligent.

"What do you know?" She asked out of the blue, her soft tone betraying the eagerness behind the question.

For an instant, his expression sobered before he quickly covered it with a shrug. "Just what I told you. Kaname told me to come to this spot and wait. I did as he asked, and here you are."

"What do you know about drugs?" She pushed with her interrogation. "About the ones the vampire hunters are using? How did they make them? Why do they make tablets stop working?"

This time there was no masking the widening of his blue eyes. His mouth opened as if he was about to say something and then closed as he stopped himself.

"Why are they looking for information? Are they plotting something? Why did they want Akatsuki instead of me? What does _he_ know?"

His back stiffened and his lips thinned into one hard line. "That's a lot of questions."

"And how can you be standing here like nothing's wrong?" Unable to stop now, she kept going as if he hadn't said anything. "Do you have any idea what they're probably doing to him right now?" Little by little, her voice had started to rise. "We tried getting away but they shot him. Oh God, I think they shot him twice." Taking two frantic steps, she jerked the t-shirt as if to show him. "This is his blood. I'm covered in it!"

Her heart started pounding as he jogged towards her.

"It's going to be alright. Everything's going to be alright." He soothed. "You need to calm down."

He tried to gently put a hand on her shoulder, but she shoved him forcefully away, almost knocking him off his feet. "Don't touch me! Don't you dare tell me it's all going to be fine!" For the first time, she started to feel the chill, but it came in the form of a cold sweat. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't been such a fool. If I hadn't allowed you all to keep me in the dark, they would have taken me instead of him." Adrenaline shot through her and she balled her hands into fists in an attempt to stop the shaking. "None of this is right. I should be dead right now!"

"Okay." Obviously trying to keep his voice calm, Aidou spoke to her slowly. "I think you might still be in shock. Just take a few deep breaths."

"No!" She all but screamed. The thought of Kain's betrayal hurt, but the thought of his death made her heart pound in fear. "We have to go get him. Now! I'm not going to stand around waiting while he gets tortured! If you won't take me, then I'll get there myself!"

This time, Aidou came at her with a speed that could only be used by a vampire. Grabbing her roughly by the shoulders, he gave her two hard shakes."Ruka! Would you listen to yourself? What you're suggesting is crazy! You can't just waltz into a fortress full of vampire hunters and expect either of you to come out alive."

Oh god, it _was_ crazy. Not only was she accomplishing nothing by arguing with Aidou, on top of it all she was losing her mind.

"Look, this is my cousin we're talking about here. You think I don't know how you feel?" The blue of his eyes brightened, and his face hardened with determination. "But we're just going to have to trust Akatsuki to stall them until we can figure out a way to get him out of there. I know it seems impossible, but believe me, he's a pretty smart guy. He'll probably have them scratching their heads for weeks trying to figure him out, and we won't even need that much time."

It sucked to admit he was right, but if she wanted to help save Akatsuki, she needed to pull her act together. Breathing deeply, she tried to slow down her heart. "Okay."

Letting out a breath as if he had been holding it for hours, Aidou's shoulders slumped in relief. "That's more like it. For a minute there I thought I was going to have to slap you, and then I thought I would end up running for the rest of my life so Akatsuki couldn't kill me. And wouldn't it be such a shame if I had to hide these marvelous features from all the ladies?"

Pushing him aside, Ruka headed in the direction of the passenger door. "You are such an idiot." But she had to admit he was good at distraction.

Aidou laughed as he followed her. "You're just pissed because you know it's true. And you just proved that you're not immune to my charms, Ruka-chan. Nobody is."

As Ruka got into the passenger seat, her only answer was to slam the door.

* * *

Ruka had thought she'd known physical pain.

She'd been wrong.

"Ahhhhhh!" She snatched her bare feet away from the heating vents and pulled them up on the leather seat. "My god, I can't take this!"

"You're definitely frostbitten." Aidou said as he took a turn. "Hurts more when you warm up."

"Yes. I know that now." She hissed in a breath through clenched teeth. "Thanks so much for warning me."

"The condition is really interesting actually." Aidou went on as if he hadn't heard her. "I read about it while I was into anatomy. You see, exposure to freezing temperatures for long periods of time results in the formalization of crystals from water molecules located within biological tissue. If it continues, a shift in intracellular water to the extracellular space leads to intracellular osmolarity. Which basically means the ice crystals expand and.."

"Oh will you ever shut up?" No wonder Kaname had slapped him so many times. "I'm not one of your research projects."

"Well, I thought it was kind of cool anyways." He grumbled to himself.

Ignoring him, Ruka squeezed her toes, wishing she could just rip the burning flesh off.

"Don't do that." Aidou scolded as he caught her rubbing at them. "Your going to damage the tissue. Just keep them still. Put your feet back on the floorboard and don't touch them."

Bitter, but acknowledging that while he was a complete and utter moron he was also some kind of genius, Ruka did as he asked.

"Yeah." He nodded approvingly. "Now just leave them like that. It shouldn't take too long."

Biting her lip until she drew blood, Ruka gazed out the window in search of distraction, but they were in the middle of nowhere and the stark winter trees only made the situation seem bleaker. "You never answered any of my questions." She pointed out, deciding there would never be a better time to get Aidou alone and unable to avoid her.

Lifting a hand off the wheel to scratch his blonde head, Aidou laughed uncomfortably. "Oh you were serious? I thought you were just ranting."

"Of course I was serious." For such a smart guy, his attempt at evasion was pathetic. "It's obvious you all know something. Something everyone's decided not to tell me about."

Aidou's gaze remained on the road, but his jaw visibly hardened. "There are some things you're better off not knowing."

"Is that something you decided on your own? Or has someone ordered you not to say anything?"

Shifting in his seat, he evaded again. "Believe me. It's for your own protection."

"Protection? My protection?" Her voice started to rise. Okay, so she could understand they had good intentions, but this was just taking it way too far. "You do realize that I've been drugged, near date raped, tracked down by vampire hunters, and shot at, don't you? If this is everyone's idea of protecting me then you've all failed miserably."

A moment of silence passed before he relented, "Okay. I see you do have a point. So, what were your questions again?"

Feeling like she was finally getting somewhere, Ruka jumped right in. "First, tell me what you know about these drugs the vampire hunters are using. How did they..."

"Nope." He cut her off. "Definitely can't answer that. Next question."

"You don't know or you won't tell me?"

"_Can't _tell you." He emphasized. "Next question."

Her nails dug into the leather upholstery of her seat. "You mean to tell me that although I've been forcefully subjected to these drugs on multiple occasions, you won't tell me anything you know about them?"

"Its not like I...Hey! Stop that!" He yelled as he noticed her grip on the seat. "You'll rip it!"

"Oh this?" She asked sweetly, as she put a neat hole in the leather with her pinky finger. "What? Is this old thing expensive?"

"Old thing?" Flustered, he almost spat the words. "I'll have you know this is a 1967 Jaguar. You can't find cars like this in mint condition just anywhere. So yes, this _old thing_ is fucking expensive!"

"Hmmmm" She hummed thoughtfully as she gracefully placed a hand on the door handle. "I wonder how difficult it would be to replace some of its parts."

His every muscle went tense. "You wouldn't dare."

"Talk, Hanabusa." With one hand on the door and the other digging into the seat, she threatened to torture. "Talk before I start ripping pieces off one at a time."

"Okay, okay! You don't have to do that!" As he leaned over to grab at her hands, the car swerved to the side. Letting out a peculiarly girly sounding scream, he threw his hands back on the wheel to get control.

"You were saying?" She prodded as he regained his breath.

"What was it you asked again?"

The sound of leather tearing echoed through the car as the hole under her nail got just a little bigger.

"Oh it was about the drugs right?" He spoke quickly, sweat forming on his brow. "The drugs. Oh, Jesus. Okay."

He took in a deep breath and let it out sharply. The blue of his eyes seemed to darken as his lips firmed. It was like watching a transformation. Ridiculous and extravagant one minute, smart and cool-headed the next.

"I just want to start out by letting you know that in our defense, we didn't actually realize what it was you were given until after you had already left with Akatsuki." He began, "I mean, we had no way of knowing the hunters had obtained the formula."

"Wait." She stopped him. "They obtained it? You mean they didn't make it themselves?"

"No, they didn't." He affirmed, then corrected, "Well, they did but it's based off of a formula they somehow got their hands on. They just don't have the right chemicals."

"Okay, because Zero said something..." She trailed off.

"What?" Aidou's head jerked around to face her. "What did he say?"

She pressed her fingers at the bridge of her nose as she felt a headache coming on. "I can't remember exactly. It all kind of blurs together."

"Well try, Ruka." He insisted. "Seriously, anything you can remember, anything they said, even if it seems unimportant, it could make a big difference."

Struggling to sort out her fuzzy memory but determined to be of any use she could, Ruka mumbled some of the things she remembered. "He said it took them years, that it was difficult to make it strong enough to affect us."

"Hrmph. Amateurs." He said haughtily. "I could have crunched those numbers in a few hours. I did actually."

Blocking out Aidou's voice, Ruka sorted through the terrifying events. "He also said that they tested it out on him because he wouldn't test it on Level E's."

At this, Aidou sucked in a breath.

"What? Is that something important?"

Nodding solemnly, Aidou said. "It means they know about the lab."

"Lab?" Ruka started putting the pieces together. "You mean there was a lab somewhere where they tested on Level E's? Why would vampire hunters do that? I would think they would find that inhuman."

"They didn't." His voice lowered. "We did."

For several seconds, Ruka just stared at him.

At her silence, Aidou took a glance at her and then almost jumped out of his seat at the look of horror that must have been written all over her face. "Look, I've done some things I'm not proud of but this isn't one of them. I didn't mean _we _as in me and whoever else your thinking. I meant we as in vampires, as in the council."

That didn't make it much better. "I think you'd better start from the beginning."

The sunrise lit the car's interior with an orange hue, but Aidou gazed ahead as if the light had no effect on his eyes. "Shortly after we arrived at Kaname's mansion, just days after leaving the academy, Kaname asked us to meet him - Seiren, Akatsuki, me and a few others. He wanted to go over the Council's eradication, if any members still remained, and if there were any followers that hadn't been uncovered. We went over a few names, talked about which ones needed to be eliminated, which ones could be persuaded to join our side. It was all mostly just clean up."

It hurt, the knowledge that Kaname hadn't even trusted her to be part of something that seemed like it was just normal routine to Aidou. But Ruka remained silent, biting down the feeling of betrayal, and let him continue.

"It was in this meeting that Akatsuki suggested we scout the surrounding areas of the Council's assembly building. You know, just to be sure that we'd covered all bases." He gave a shrug. "It all seemed kind of unnecessary considering all the powerful members were dead, but he mentioned the possibility that they may have had secret passages that lead to shelters, places of gathering, that we weren't aware of. Kaname agreed to it, but we had to do it quickly and quietly, before the hunters could find out the council was dead and realize what we were doing."

Ruka remembered those first few days after arriving at Kaname's mansion. None of them had stayed for long. Kain had said they should all go home for awhile to let Kaname and Yuuki have some time alone. Now she knew that while she had gone home to spend time with her family, Kain and Aidou had been doing something entirely different.

Aidou took her silence as an invitation to continue. "So we went out there three or four nights in a row. We found a couple hidden libraries, a few tombs where ancients were buried, some of their living quarters. Nothing really unexpected although some of it was a little creepy. Oh man, we found this one dude's house that had shiny skulls stacked up in the cellar with little nameplates on each of them like trophies. He was obviously rich but damn what a freak. He had this..."

"Hanabusa." Ruka got his attention. "Stick to the point. Tell me about the lab."

"Huh?" He shot a glance at her. "Oh right, sorry. Yeah, so we found it on our last night out there. Actually we almost walked right over it, but I'd been kicking dirt with my foot out of sheer boredom, when I walked over this spot that wasn't ground underneath, but cement. It didn't take us long to find an underground entrance, but it was at least a few hours before we could finally get through the lock. Inside, the walls were all white and shiny like a hospital or something. And then we found the bodies..."

Pausing for a minute, Aidou took a deep breath. "It was bad, Ruka. I mean real bad. The kind of stuff you have nightmares about for weeks after seeing. They'd been isolated from each other and had died from starvation before we'd arrived. They'd been strapped down, experimented on, their limbs all contorted. Most of them had already descended to Level E, but there were a lot that were just ex-human vampires." He shuddered. "I never cared much for ex-humans but to the council, they were nothing but lab rats."

It was difficult to believe there were people out there who were capable of such things, but the haunted look in Aidou's eyes spoke the truth.

"We found one that was still alive." He all but whispered as his eyes became haunted. "God, I think he'd gotten out of his cell and had survived off of blood from corpses. He was close to Level E, but hadn't turned yet. When he saw us he started rocking himself and saying something but we couldn't understand him because his tongue had been cut out. Actually, he must have just heard us, because his eyes were all fucked up like they'd injected chemicals right in them." Keeping both hands on the wheel, Aidou stared straight ahead as he recited the memory. "We just stood there, even Seiren didn't move. I think maybe we were in shock. Nobody knew what we were supposed to do with him. But then Akatsuki just walks right up to him and snaps his neck, just like that." He snapped his fingers as if to imitate the sound. "Then walks away and says, 'He was about to turn. There was nothing we could do.' all cool and calm headed-like."

"I think I'm going to be sick." Ruka managed as a wave of nausea made her dizzy.

"Your telling me." Aidou agreed. "I couldn't hold the contents of my stomach either."

"So that's where the drug was created?"

"Yeah." He gathered his composure and went on. "After that, we searched a few offices, grabbed some documents, and got the hell out of there. On the way back, I studied their research. They'd used a bunch of the same equations that were used to make tablets, but had managed to deconstruct them. I won't get into all the medical terminology but basically, while tablets provide us with the necessary blood essence to keep us alive, this drug does the opposite, to the point that it can actually cause any vampire to descend from one level to another, all the way to Level E."

Ruka thought she might pass out. "I'm going to turn into a Level E?"

"What? No, no Ruka-chan." He quickly amended. "You'll be fine. We got our hands on what the vampire hunters have and it's nowhere near as toxic. The worst it does to a noble is make you all dizzy and fatigued, with maybe some memory loss. Oh and then tablets are ineffective for a few months while vampire antibodies slowly work it out of your system." He added as an afterthought.

It still meant that she had to go awhile before she could take tablets again, but at least she wouldn't turn into a mindless blood-sucking fiend.

The council's purpose came to her before Aidou had to explain. "They were trying to make it strong enough to affect purebloods."

"Exactly." He confirmed. "The council wanted more power and purebloods like Kaname were in the way. They didn't quite have something strong enough yet, but they were close. Damn close. A lot closer than the hunters." As the sun began peeking over the horizon, Aidou reached into his jacket and put on a pair of dark sunglasses. "Anyways, when we got back we immediately reported everything to Kaname. By then, I'd been able to analyze their research and had a pretty good grasp of what the council was trying to accomplish. It was obvious we had to keep it quiet, I mean release of this kind of information could destroy all of us. So no one argued when Kaname said that talking about it to anyone, even family, would mean our lives were over."

"So how did the vampire hunters find out about it? Did they find the lab?"

Aidou frowned. "It's not there anymore. Kaname had it quickly demolished along with everything else in the area. No. Somebody definitely tipped them off. Someone who had access to everything we knew. The fact that the hunters were able to find you so quickly points to an informant even without all the other evidence."

"And all this time, I've known nothing." She had _been _nothing. Although she had followed Kaname, it was now painfully obvious that he considered her at best untrustworthy and at worst useless.

"Ruka-chan." Aidou said her name with concern. "It's not that we didn't trust you. Like I said, it was for your own protection. You said it yourself, if you had any knowledge of this the hunters would have taken you."

"Oh and taking Akatsuki is better?" She shot back at him.

"This is the way he wanted it. There were times I wanted to tell you, but Akatsuki was adamant that you never know."

God, Kain hadn't told her about this, about Kaname kicking her out of the faction, about her parent's abandonment. She could understand the good intentions behind some of his secrecy, but he'd taken it much too far. "What else did he keep from me?"

She'd asked the question to herself, but Aidou thought it was meant for him. "Jeeze, Ruka. There's probably a lot of stuff that he talks to Kaname about that he doesn't tell anyone. I mean, Kaname discusses things with him that he doesn't with anyone else. You know Akatsuki. He has this way of seeing a problem from every angle. I guess Kaname likes to get an objective point of view."

Akatsuki – her best friend and confidant, the one she'd trusted with all of her hidden feelings, who had never truly confided in return. His secrets ran deeper than she could imagine. Had she ever truly known him? While she had left everything in the open, he had lead two lives. Even after all they had shared, after the last night they'd spent...

Ruka's chest gave a painful squeeze.

She'd been both foolish and blind.

Filled with despair, no longer feeling the pain in her feet, Ruka gazed down at the scrapes on her knees and let her ratty hair cover her face. "Why does Kaname even want me to come back?"

She felt the warmth of Aidou's hand on her shoulder, but lacked the strength to push it away. "He hasn't stopped thinking of you, Ruka." He said gently. "You can talk to him when we get there. You'll see."

Ruka wasn't sure what he meant by that, but one thing was certain. She refused to be kept in the dark any longer. Maybe before she had only been on the sidelines, but now her life had become involved. She was neck deep in all of it.

Fatigued, but too worried to sleep, she leaned back and let the sun burn her eyes.

* * *

**Please feel free to let me know what you think. Your comments keep my muse talking. ^_^**


	22. Biting the Hand that Feeds

**Thanks to everyone for keeping me motivated! **

* * *

The hunter's interrogation room was impressively high tech. A double-sided mirror, recording devices, walls that looked like they were made of stainless steel. Vampires would have gone with a dungeon of the more traditional variety. Dirt floors, metal chains – that sort of thing.

Guards had marched on every side of him, their combat boots clicking against the tile floor. They pushed him forward with crafted vampire weapons: metal staves and guns that looked like M-16's.

No, Kaname, or any noble for that matter, wouldn't have gone with this show of force. The pureblood monarch would have kept his enemy close, invited him in with a warm fire and rich wine, waited for just the right time to stab him in the back and twist the knife.

_Are you my friend or my enemy? _Kaname's words from their last conversation pulled at his subconscious in a lurking whisper.

At some point, Kain would have to figure out which side he was on.

"Sit your ass in the chair, Leech." The guard to his right belted, before kicking him in the knees.

Something cold and hard was jammed into his back, a hunter device designed to paralyze. A jolt of lightning ran through his spine. Pain pierced his nerves like a thousand needles. The electricity caused tremors but was effective at keeping him in place.

Electric shocks, crunching bones, the scent of his own blood – Kain had remained resilient to their attempts to beat him into something they deemed less than human. Each time he had been careful to show no reaction, letting his mind wander to a place of solace. Ruka's soft skin, the gentle rhythm of her heart as she slept, the free smile he'd seen brighten her features in those last few days.

It seemed wrong to bring her into a place like this, even in his head. But she was about the only good thing in his life, and he would be damned before he'd let these bastards take that away from him.

And each hour he thanked whatever God looked down on vampires that Ruka wasn't actually here.

Kain kept silent as they efficiently rearranged locks and hatches. He'd thought about using his noble abilities to burn the place to the ground, just to amuse himself if nothing else, but they'd never left an opening. Stupid, but well trained dogs, these guards weren't about to make a thoughtless slip.

The beefy one moved in front of him, and if it weren't for the cold barrel of a gun jammed into Kain's cheek, the human wouldn't have had his attention.

"Only a few simple rules." The guard spat. "You move. We shoot. Say anything the boss doesn't like, we shoot. And if the temperature in this room goes up even a single degree, we shoot." He chuckled as if he'd told a funny joke. "Even a dumb beast like you should understand."

Something in Kain's noble bloodline was highly insulted to be treated in such a degrading manner. It was an abhorrent sensation. To think that he had fallen just as far into noble propaganda as his cousin. But there it was, that feeling of superiority, that he deserved something far better simply because of his birth.

At the creaking sound of an opening door, the guards suddenly stiffened and stood at attention.

"Leave us." Came an authoritative command.

"But sir!" One of the guards protested, "Our orders were to..."

"And my orders are to vacate the premises." A small pause, before a soft but deadly, "Now."

After that order there was only the sound of scuffling feet before the door slammed shut. Then silence.

The hunter stood behind him, like a hawk that wanted to study it's prey. Kain could recognize Zero's scent anywhere. It wasn't the pungent scent of an ex-human, but lacked the essence of a vampire. In fact, nobody knew exactly what Zero was at this point, but his scent was very recognizable, wild and exotic.

Kain heard Zero's slow pacing, heard the leather of his boots twist with each step, and quickly became irritated. Screw his current condition, screw the incessant torture, he wasn't about to let Zero have the upper hand. "This must be difficult for you." He forced his voice to stay casual. "You used to work alone, and now not only are you dragging along followers but they'd rather listen to orders of someone above you?" He tisked. "Have you fallen to the status of a henchman, Cross?"

"Don't waste your time, Vampire." Zero's voice was cold, unmoving. "Your status will be the only one up for discussion in this room."

Ah, so they were going to talk now. After all this time, Kain had begun to think his only purpose in this place was to be used as a punching bag.

Well, step one in interrogation, belittle and humiliate the subject. "My status?" He tried to sound casual. "You've said so yourself. I'm an advisor. With nothing to gain, I've never had enough ambition to move up the ladder. You, on the other hand, would see many benefits with a promotion. It must be grating to have all that political power just out of reach."

With his vocal chords raw, Kain's voice lacked the persuasion he would have preferred, but his strategy must have been working. The hunter's agitated breathing proved it.

"You fucking nobles and your politics." Zero's voice came out in a growl. "Pretty words won't get you anywhere here."

The hunter had walked right into that one. Moving on to step two then: point out flaws in the subject's reasoning. "And you hunters operate more like terrorists, striking weak points wherever you can. Your methods are bloodthirsty, reckless and unorganized. Vampires rely on you taking this path. It never fails to give us the upper hand."

That remark was rewarded with a forceful shove at the back of his head. His face smashed into the hard surface of the table causing it to crack. His fangs cut into his lips and the coppery taste of blood filled his mouth. Well hell, it's not like the hunter could do much more damage in that area. His nose had already been broken, not yet having had time to heal.

"Oh? Was that a weak spot?" Zero snarled in his ear. "Do you have the upper hand now, vampire?"

Tied to a chair with vampire hunter binds that made him immobile, the rich scent of his own blood dripping onto the table – Kain found it quite obvious who had the upper hand here.

But it didn't matter. Step three required him to be the interrogator rather than the prisoner anyways, and he could still savor the fact that he'd put Zero on the defensive. The hunter had resolve, he'd give him that, but the way he ran this organization was down right pathetic. For such a young generation, these humans hadn't been able to keep up with the times.

"Wars aren't conducted on a battlefield anymore." He managed to give his voice vehemence, even in his current position. "You're nothing without subterfuge and persuasion. Just a warrior, without a war."

At this, Zero began to laugh, filling the room with caustic chuckles. "Well, I can definitely see why Kuran keeps you around. Tell me, do you take him down a few notches whenever you give him advice? Or do you kneel and kiss the feet of _Kaname-sama?_"

Straightening, Kain felt the slices in his bottom lip seal shut. "He asks questions. I speak my mind." And yes, it was why Kaname kept him around.

Stepping around the small table, Zero eyed him with a measure of respect. "Good. You'll learn quickly to do the same in this room." Laying an open document on the table, he fell back in his chair and struck a relaxed pose. Dressed in what looked like military fatigues, strands of white hair falling haphazardly over his forehead, Zero did look like a soldier who had just stepped off the battlefield.

A moment of silence passed. Kain didn't bother to look at what was in front of him. He knew it was a map, knew what it represented.

"So..." Zero began slowly, his violet eyes lit with cunning. "If your little society were to find, oh lets say weapons of mass destruction, what would your advice be to your leader?"

With his eyes steady and his breathing even, Kain gave no indication of what went through his mind. "Such weapons yield power to those who have them and fear to those who do not. Ruling with fear has it's advantages but will eventually result in dissension and revolts." He gave a short pause to allow interruption, but when none came he continued. "Kaname's leadership is not on a basis of fear. I could advise him not to use such methods, but he wouldn't need to hear it. The option wouldn't even be up for discussion."

"Ah that's very poetic, vampire. Yet you've told me nothing."

"You are not listening." _You maniacal fool._

Zero clenched his jaw as if he'd heard the unspoken insult. "You believe wholeheartedly in your pureblood's mission, don't you? Peace between hunters and vampires – you think that's even a remote possibility?"

"It's a little idealistic, but a noble goal."

"Yes. Idealistic. I would agree with that statement. But what you fail to realize is that vampires already have weapons of mass destruction. They come in the form of your oh-so-noble leader." His gaze darkened as he leaned forward. "Purebloods are a poison."

Kain wasn't surprised that Zero saw the world this way. Being a human changed by a pureblood's power, Zero had experienced first-hand their ability to turn humans into slaves. Still, while understanding the hunter's motivation, Kain was still a vampire. There was no way he would be handing over the instrument to his own, and Ruka's, destruction.

"They are a necessary evil, the only beings capable of keeping vampire society in order." Allowing Zero to control this conversation was out of the question. Kain decided to push him to the point. "Without them, factions like the council develop far too much power and their methods would only become increasingly radical."

"Radical enough to develop biological weapons with the power to destroy purebloods." Zero delivered flatly.

"Which in order to create, required the torture and dehumanization of people like you."

Zero remained unaffected by the taunt. "If you think that you can appeal to my moral sensibilities, then you have another thing coming."

"And If you think I'll give you the means to genocide, then you're a greater fool than I gave you credit for."

With a sadistic twist of his lips, Zero glanced at him knowingly. "And _you _have that means. Now I am sure of it."

_Shit._

Thinking back on the line of questions, Kain realized that he'd been caught in a trap of his own making.

"You know." Zero continued thoughtfully, soaking up the glory of his small triumph. "It's not necessarily the death of _all_ purebloods that I'm interested in, but one imparticular."

Obviously.

Kain didn't bother with names. "It doesn't matter. Even if your intention is to only use it once, it will eventually leak to others. They'll want it, use force to get it, and more deaths will follow."

It's why they were both here right now. The second he'd stepped foot in that rotting laboratory, the second he'd made those last-minute decisions, Kain had known something like this would be in his future. The facts would only continue to spread from one ear to another. The proof was right here in front of him. The vampire hunters already had far too much information.

But something was wrong with it. The hunters knew about the drug, but didn't have the right formula. They knew of the council's laboratory, seemed to have some idea of what had gone on in it, but didn't have the right details. Which could mean one of two things, either their informant was dealing their merchandise in small doses, or the informant didn't have access to it.

Tapping his finger at a point on the map, Zero watched him for reactions. "If I were to search this area, what would I find?"

"Why don't you go look and find out?"

"Maybe I will." He threatened. "Maybe I'll tear the place down in my search."

Kain wasn't moved. "Good luck getting approval for that from your superiors."

The finger Zero had been using to tap rhythmically on the table, tightened into his fist. For a minute, Kain thought he had successfully pushed his interrogator over the edge.

Then he watched as the ex-human visibly forced himself to relax. Quite an epic accomplishment considering that it appeared to require every ounce of Zero's control.

A light flickered in Zero's eyes, and Kain knew to prepare himself.

"After what he did to that pretty little vampire you've been snuggling up with, I'm surprised you aren't jumping at the opportunity to slay him." His voice dripping with fake concern, Zero seemed to enjoy taunting him."It must be difficult to remain loyal knowing he's...indulged himself with her."

Kain could force his breathing to remain practiced and even, he could keep his facial features relaxed, but he couldn't stop the skip of a heart beat. And the bastard ex-human had definitely heard it.

His only resort was to make his voice sound stern. "I won't play a part in the destruction of the vampire race simply out of jealousy."

Realeasing a breath, Zero straightened."Well, I'd thought to offer you a boon in the form of protection for her, but did you know? She's already run back to the pureblood you've devoted yourself to. Ah, I can see by the look in your eyes that you didn't."

No longer able to hide his thoughts, Kain payed no heed to the lurching of his heart. She had gone back to Kuran? So quickly? She wouldn't.

No. He knew better. She _would. _After all, wasn't it one of the things he loved about her? Her determination, her forgiveness, her unfading devotion. But Christ, if there was ever a time for her to hold a grudge!

The light in Zero's eyes became something demonic. "What do you suppose he's going to do with her? He practically keeps his own harem, and Yuuki's heart isn't exactly faithful. When she isn't there, will the Souen girl be used as a blood source? Maybe even sexual fulfillment?" His voice lowered, conspiratorially. "Will you bow your head to Kuran while he's fucking your girlfriend?"

The map on the table lit up in a blaze, a reaction Kain couldn't control. Fire shot across the floor, raising the temperature in the room by what seemed like a hundred degrees. The door burst open and armored guards came in like a swat team. With rage boiling his senses, Kain didn't react until it was too late. He felt the pain near his heart, heard a gun shot, then noticed that there was a needle rather than a bullet lodged in his chest. They surrounded him, taking him down as the room spun in slow motion.

"Take him away. He's not going to cooperate. Not tonight at least." He heard Zero ordering his men as they dragged him from the room. "We need to take this up a step, but keep it gradual. Fingers maybe. Find out if they grow back..."

* * *

For years she had thought of the underground mansion as her home, but now Ruka wondered if she was walking into a well-decorated cage. Seiren stood alone in the foyer, either there to guard the door or lock it behind her. A tingling sensation ran up her spine. Maybe returning here had been a bad idea.

Ruka put on a brave front. "If I decide to leave, I certainly hope, for your sake, you don't try to stop me."

Unaffected by the warning, Seiren sauntered past her. "I will do as Kaname-sama commands."

And that sounded like a warning as well, so Ruka took it as one and decided she didn't care. If she wanted to leave, then she would leave. Nobody would stop her. She wouldn't let them.

Well, Kaname could, but he wouldn't resort to physical force. And he'd never used his pureblood powers to control them. It was one of the reasons he had so many followers. She could place her trust in him in that regard at least.

"Kaname is expecting you." Glancing over her shoulder, Seiren gave her a cold-hearted once over. "At least you look presentable."

Aidou had brought a change of clothes, at Kaname's suggestion of course. It was only a simple black skirt and blouse, but it gave the impression that she was in mourning. Ruka hated it. Akatsuki wasn't dead. He may have been a sly and deceitful imposter who withheld crucial information from her, but he wasn't dead.

He needed to live so she could scream at him.

With her chin in the air, she spoke to Seiren's back. "Just be silent and lead the way. It's my understanding that you're not kept around for opinions."

Seiren's steps faltered, but she kept moving. It was a low blow, Ruka knew, but Seiren couldn't be trusted. Why nobody else had suggested that Seiren could have been their conspicuous informer was beyond her. As Kaname's personal body-guard, she seemed the most obvious suspect. An overabundance of loyalty would be the perfect cover. Plus, she was among the few in Kaname's inner circle.

But then again, Seiren wasn't the only one who had known about everything.

"Yikes." Aidou whispered, surprising her. She had forgotten he was behind her. "I know you have a mean streak, but maybe you should pick your battles."

Advice from none other than Hanabusa. Ruka fought the urge to snap at him.

"Shouldn't you be babysitting Yuuki?" She managed sweetly.

He sidled the jibe and stood tall. "I thought I'd stay as moral support."

"It's not needed. I assure you."

Deflating, he blew a breath of relief. "Alright, just making sure." He took a step back, "Break a leg." Then sidestepped down another hallway, all but vanishing.

_Coward._

Ignoring their conversation, Seiren continued to lead her in Kaname's direction. Rather than heading downstairs as Ruka had first thought, they stopped at one of the sitting rooms. The door was closed. Neither of them made a move to knock.

Like a trained robot, Seiren stood at the side, just waiting for Ruka to walk in on her own.

Ruka wasn't nervous at all.

She _wasn't._

She was only planning to tell off the most powerful pureblood she had ever known, after she had utterly disgraced him. No big deal.

"I think you should have been included from the beginning."

At the sound of Seiren's voice, Ruka startled. Annoyed that she'd revealed her apprehension, she gave Seiren an exasperated look. What, did she feel the need to get in the last word now?

"You're right, like you, I'm not asked for opinions." Seiren continued with her monotone voice. "You didn't ask either, but that's what it is."

Shocked, Ruka looked at Seiren – really _looked _at her. With her eyes averted, the unemotional vampire seemed uncomfortable with what she had just revealed. This olive branch seemed to have come out of left field, but it made an excellent point.

Seiren was used to display strength. While Ruka had always felt as though she herself was being treated as a decoration, Seiren was like a weapon held in check, put on display for any who would wish to oppose Kaname. They had both been silent props.

Well, that would be ending.

"I agree with you." Meeting Seiren's eyes Ruka spoke to her, for the first time, without hidden hostility. "And for the record, I think we should both be giving opinions whether we're asked for them or not."

A woman of few words, Seiren only gave her a brief nod before stiffly walking away.

Despite whatever Seiren's intentions had been, her words gave Ruka strength. With a purpose, she stepped into the sitting room.

But what she saw inside caught her off guard.

Kaname. Brooding.

Oh, that was nothing unusual. It wasn't the way he was sitting, in front of the fireplace, legs crossed, watching the flames with a hand over his chin. Accustomed to reading his emotions, Ruka had learned that they were only expressed in subtle ways. A light jest was a revelation of truth, an arched brow usually insinuated humor, and whenever he pretended to ignore everyone, it most often meant he was worried.

But she had never seen him with such a look of devastation, as if the world had been taken from under his feet.

He didn't speak. He so rarely spoke unless someone addressed him, and for the first time, upon entering a room he inhabited, she wasn't sure if he realized she was there.

Lord, he had always ignored her anyways.

Fine. This time she wouldn't speak first. After all, it was his turn to provide explanations. Shoulders straight, Ruka sat primly in the opposite chair, stalwart in her determination to wait through the silence.

It seemed to take hours before he finally provided a sigh. "It seems you're doing well. I'm relieved."

_No thanks to you._

Anger itched under her skin, but she held it in check. It wouldn't serve her. Not yet. "I'm not broken. If that's what you mean."

"That must make me a clumsy fool for trying to prevent you from a fall, even when it resulted in failure."

"What? You were trying to..." Of all the things he could have said! She couldn't stop herself now. "If that is indeed what you were trying to do, then yes. You've failed miserably."

It was by far the most disrespectful thing she had ever said to him, and yet he said nothing. His eyes remained glued to the flames as if they contained some grave truth.

Ruka realized that this was why she had asked for punishments. It wasn't because she hated herself or felt she deserved them, although that had been part of it. It was because she couldn't stand his complete disregard. During those times she had wanted to scream at him, _Look at me! _

But of course, he never had. He'd only pushed her farther and farther away.

A very old and long-endured ache reformed inside her. She should be used to this. She really should have known that this time would be the same as any other. Sitting here, being ignored, tolerating his lack of interest, made everything rush back to her, as if it had been only yesterday that her heart had been broken.

"Is it because I gave you blood? Is that why you can't stand to have me around?"

He didn't really show a reaction, but she could tell that she'd shocked him. It was in the twitch of his index finger.

His dark eyes met hers, glanced at her neck, then looked away quickly.

So, he wouldn't answer that question. In the end, his reasons still didn't matter.

She pushed on. "Despite what you think, I followed you because I believed in you, because I wanted to be a part of your cause, but if my role is so pointless, then I should have left before you dismissed me."

Rising from his chair slowly, Ruka watched as he tiredly put a hand on the mantle as if needing to put some distance between them.

He spoke with his back to her. "The Aidous have withdrawn their support."

Just when she thought things couldn't possibly get any worse. "When?"

"This morning. Too much damage has been done to their relatives and family friends." He paused and took a deep breath. "It was a gamble I took, and lost."

Ruka withheld from pointing out that after his actions, he probably deserved it.

"Does Hanabusa know about this?" He would be crushed.

"He's learning of it as we speak."

How he knew that, she couldn't guess. Her mind was full of the implications. The Aidous were the strongest backing to Kaname's faction, if they left other families would follow. The foundation he'd worked so hard to build would crumble almost instantaneously.

If only she could go back to that night and undo her decisions. Her own stupidity had set off an avalanche and everyone she had once trusted was being hurt because of it. If not for her, then Akatsuki wouldn't have ever been taken, she wouldn't have driven a wedge through the faction, and the Aidou's would still be a part of their family. None of this would have happened.

But then again, if none of this had happened, she would still be in the same place as she had been before – brushed aside, ignorant, and hardly even worth being used as a pawn.

As if giving her time to digest this information, Kaname lifted a poker, and stirred the flames. "I'm going to need you to win back their support."

Her immediate reaction was to say, _Yes! Let me be a part of this, _but it wasn't the reason she had come here. "But what about Akatsuki? Hanabusa said we would be saving him."

"And we will need a show of power to retrieve him." He easily interjected. "Once the hunter society hears word that we've lost numbers, they won't see the point in releasing him." He turned to watch her. Despair must have been written all over her face, because his next words came gently. "Have faith. I won't let anything happen to him, and he is intelligent enough to keep his head above water."

That was no consolation. Not only did she want to see him alive, but she wanted to see him alive and all in one piece. Regaining a noble family's support wouldn't just be done in a brief meeting. It would take social events, benefits, negotiations. She could not, _would _not, do it while Akatsuki was being kept in a cell with the company of killers.

"I can't wait that long." Even another hour seemed like it would be torture.

"You must. It is the only way to make this a peaceful transaction."

"But just think of how he must be suffering!" God, he couldn't be asking this of her. "Hunters are still only humans, surely you have the power to..."

"I will not destroy everything I've worked for." He cut her off, his voice gaining dominance. "Retrieving him by force is not an option."

His eyes had flashed with ferocity, but her heart wouldn't let her give up. "Why not meet with the hunter society now? Before they find out about your losses."

"Do not seek to pressure me, Ruka." He seemed to tower over her, his gaze foreboding, and she remembered the severity of his commands.

Nobles everywhere shuddered and rushed to obey him when he used that tone of voice, and Ruka would be lying if she said that her heart hadn't leapt to her throat.

"I don't see why. It's not like you would need noble family members to be present." Good. Her voice sounded steady. "Besides, I would think it would be in the best interest for all of us, considering that he knows about the council's laboratory and the poison they were making."

A crease formed in Kaname's brow. In a being capable of total destruction, that simple gesture was enough to be threatening. "I see someone doesn't feel that there are secrets worth keeping. Do tell, was it a certain self-proclaimed genius that has enlightened you?"

"I uh..It wasn't..." She found herself stammering, trying to save Aidou's skin, then shook her head to clear it. "That's besides the point. I know of it now. Akatsuki, I'm sure, knows more than I do."

"You think he will share his knowledge?"

Surprised by the question, Ruka quickly replied. "No. Of course not."

This seemed to reassure him and he brushed off her last logical argument. "Then he can be trusted to remain silent. It will give us time to develop a more secure backing."

"But you can't just leave him there!" Each of her attempts were too easily thwarted and Ruka lost herself in her desperation. "If you don't help me get him out now, don't think that I'll stick around to help with your reputation. You dug your own grave, and I'll leave you to rot in it!"

The outburst escaped her before she could realize what she was saying. Oh God, she'd just given none other than Kaname Kuran himself an ultimatum, as if _he_ would obey her command. Glancing up at him she noticed his stillness. The aura of power that followed his every step, his lithe grace – it was uncalculated. Effortless.

And she remembered being at a very young age, when she had been suffocating under the whims of her elders, forcing herself to fit into a god-like image. Then the pureblood, Kaname, had been introduced to her, and nothing had ever been the same.

He was the personification of elegance, the representation of vampire perseverance. His humble demeanor only garnered reverence from all around him. Her parents, who's eyes had always seemed to look through her, gazed at Kaname with a love she had never seen in their faces.

Like a bright light, Kaname had seemed to be leading her out of a fog where all of her attempts to find her place had been clumsy and misdirected.

The seed had been planted. The desire to gain his approval buried itself deep, impossible to extract, and each time his eyes had trailed away it had hurt more than anything she could imagine.

And it had all been unintentional. He hadn't tried to make her fall in love with him, hadn't asked to become her idol.

Ruka looked up to his eyes, dark and despondent. When compared to him, she was nothing. Her meager attempts to move him were worthless. A feeling of true failure assailed her, the understanding that her own capabilities would never lead her to the end of the tunnel.

And she felt like she was falling, felt the heat rise in her cheeks. Her chest lowered into a bow, she looked at the floor and felt the weight of all of her failures. "I know I've disappointed you. I know I failed to be what you wanted. I was weak when I should have been stronger. I burdened you when I should have left you in peace." Humiliated, she felt hot tears press at her eyes, and reduced herself to begging. "Please, if you just help me save Akatsuki. I can't live with myself while he's being mistreated. At least arrange for me to turn myself in and I can take his place. If anything happens to him I..."

A warm hand on her shoulder stopped her from attempting to choke out the words. "Don't." His voice was strained. "Don't debase yourself like this. I cannot bear it." When she didn't move to rise, he added a soft, "Please."

Still sinking with shame, Ruka stood upright, but couldn't look at his face. He was standing closer than she had remembered. Her eyes were level with where strands of dark brown hair that met the collar of his shirt.

"Such blame you place on yourself, when I should be the one begging for forgiveness." The tone of his voice was melodious and strangely soothing. Taking one of her hands in his, he ran his fingers over her nails.

Shocked, she drew in a breath and held it. His hands were cool, his skin soft. Feeling separated from herself, she looked down at where their hands met.

His nails were manicured, his skin almost translucent. Her hands were damaged, her nails rough and broken from falling in snow. Scrapes marred her knuckles.

"I've long known the feeling of remorse." He moved on to study her newly formed callouses."But, like many other things, I have never managed to express it accurately." In an uncomfortable pause, he appeared to search for the right words. "Relationships...friendships, are difficult to come by with a life like my own. And I believe I've allowed myself to become blind."

She already knew he didn't express himself freely, but actions spoke louder than words. "All I ever wanted was to be able to support you."

"Ah, but you lie to yourself, Ruka." It was almost a whisper. "You seek much more than that, more than I am capable of giving, I'm afraid."

It hit home, striking something inside her that needed to be brought out. Years ago she had told herself she wanted him to love her, but that had never been true. It was as if she had somehow replaced her parents, with the possible gratification of Kaname's approval, as if he could relieve her fears of abandonment.

But Akatsuki had shown her that love didn't have to prove itself.

Kaname's eyes fell back to her fingers. "It is difficult...being near someone with whom you have shared something..." For once he seemed to be having trouble forming clearly spoken thoughts. "One can deny it, but there are always traces."

Taking a step back and pulling her hand away from his, Ruka felt the sudden urge to end this conversation.

"I think it would be best if I left now. You don't have to announce that I've been re-accepted. It will only cause future embarrassment." There was a quick end in her future. Walking into the hunter's lair on her own would be suicide, but it was the only choice left. She swallowed down a lump in her throat. "I realize this isn't a happy parting but...it's been an honor, Kaname-sama."

Without looking at him, she moved to the door, thinking she would bow as she left and shut it softly.

It wasn't until she reached for the knob that she felt a rush of wind on her cheek. His hand slammed on the wood, the loud sound reverberating to her bones. "You will not do this!" The force behind his command went through her like a freight train.

Her heart suddenly went into high gear. Energy seemed to leak off of him, nearly suffocating her with it's might. If he forced her to remain locked in his stronghold, she would be powerless to stop him. Dear God, and she had thought herself safe from him!

"Kaname-sama..." She had no idea what to do when faced with such an enormous obstacle. "I trusted you not to do this."

His nails dug into the wood, causing it to splinter and crack. Strain thickened his voice. "I will do as you wish."

Suddenly pushing himself off the door, he paced away from her. "I'll arrange for an emergency meeting. You will attend."

She turned to see him run a hand through his hair. It was an agitated gesture, one she'd never seen from him.

"They'll be expecting it. Their interrogations and evidence have been thoroughly prepared while ours will threaten us as soon as it's revealed. Much of this will have to depend on you. Their questions will be cruel, but if I interject, it will only reflect badly." He stopped pacing as his hand fell to his side. "Once we are inside, I will be powerless to help you."

But she wouldn't need it. She was sure of it. "I can do this. You've seen so yourself. I can swallow my pride if it means saving Akatsuki."

"Your pride?" His eyebrow lifted with the implication of humor. "Please don't. It is one of your greatest qualities."

Still reeling from the turn of events, Ruka only sought to reassure him. "I will do whatever's necessary."

There was a moment of silence, has he seemed to take in her determination. She held his gaze, refusing to budge an inch.

Finally, he let out a long sigh and looked down at her sadly. "Ruka." Her name sounded reverant when he said it so slowly. "I had hoped to protect you from this."

It seemed a strange thing to say. He had kicked her out of his faction. Under no other circumstance had she ever felt in so much danger.

"I realize my actions seem to oppose that intention." He said as if reading her mind. "But there are reasons I thought you would be safe. I had my mistrust directed at the wrong places and because of my error in judgment you have suffered. It is something I will eternally regret and seek to make up to you."

It wasn't exactly an apology, but saying _I'm sorry_, would be trite when compared to what she and Kain had gone through.

Oh but she should be angry! She should hate him, curse his name for discarding her like he had, but only one thing concerned her now, and that was bringing Akatsuki home. He didn't deserve any of this, especially when none of it was of his own making.

Once he was freed, she would do her part in bringing the Aidous back to the faction, but afterwards, she didn't think she could bring herself to stay under Kaname's roof.

Not wanting to push her luck, Ruka accepted that their conversation was over, but she would come back to it as soon as the opportunity presented itself. There were still far too many secrets that needed to be uncovered.

But on the way out the door, she couldn't stop herself from asking one question. "Kaname-sama, well this may seem like a strange question but, do you have the ability to shapeshift?"

His lips lifted at the corner. "No."

Well, that answered that. It must have been the drugs then. A black panther. Really! She should be laughing at herself.

Brushing it off, Ruka moved to leave, but his voice stopped her.

"I can create a reprojection to see through eyes in other places." He sighed. "It fades once you acknowledge my existence."

In awe, Ruka wanted to ask a million more question, but when she turned he was already gazing out the window with a far away look in his eyes.

* * *

**Too sleepy to edit. I'm going to go pass out now.**

**Please feel free to tell me what you think! I would have never made it this far without your comments. ^_^**


	23. The View from the Other Side

**I'm not sure why, but this chapter was agonizing for me to get through, and I feel horrible that it took so long for me to post it. **

**But, as always, a HUGE thank you to all of you who have stuck with this story and to everyone who has written reviews. I can't even tell you how much your words of support have pulled me through this. **

* * *

The bright sun was nothing less than shocking. Inside his cell, Kain had been living in perpetual evening. Outside, even with his eyes downcast, the sun nearly blinded him as it glared off of the asphalt.

They kept him cuffed and slightly sedated as they escorted him through the back parking lot, and it wasn't until they got to the van that Zero dismissed his entourage of guards. As the men shuffled away, Kain didn't give it much thought. He wasn't looking for an escape, didn't really care where they were going. Hours of torture and pain had numbed him to his surroundings. By now, he was merely going through the motions, waiting until the time would finally come for his execution.

The door was opened for him and playing the obediant prisoner, Kain silently took his seat. Thick glass blocked the front seat from the back. The windows were darkly tinted and his eyes adjusted as he settled into the leather seat.

Surprisingly, Zero followed him into the back rather than taking the passenger seat next to the driver. Maybe the hunter thought it a better way to keep an eye on him, or maybe somewhere behind that thick head of white hair, Zero thought himself just as much a threat to the world as the rest of the vampire race.

Doubtful.

They were silent as the driver steered the car away from the Hunter Association Headquarters. Kain's body was already halfway to the grave. His eyes were dry and bloodshot from lack of sleep. His muscles ached from confinement, and with an overbearing thirst, his body constantly sought to remind him that he needed sustenance.

As much as he relished a break from that dark oppressive cell, there was no reason for optimism, but while listening for hints in Zero's breathing and heartbeat, Kain heard no indication that the ex-human was agitated and wondered if that was a good or a bad sign.

Deciding he might as well try to get a feel for the hunter's mood, he broke the silence. "The drugs and hand cuffs are pointless, you know. If I wanted to break away, I would have already tried it."

Uncharacteristically calm, Zero gazed out the window. "Since you've used your powers so rarely, the Association is unsure how far your capabilities extend. They fear the unknown."

"Remove the cuffs, give me enough time to let the drugs wear off, and I'd be delighted to show you."

"Hmmm" Unimpressed, Zero maintained a bored expression. "I have a feeling you wouldn't show your true power unless I was holding a knife to Souen's throat."

Shoulders tense, Kain tried not to let the image get to him. The asshole was only trying to get under his skin. But screw it, somewhere in the midst of eternal darkness, torture, and raging thirst, Kain had lost sense of rationality. "Touch her and you'll regret the day you were born."

"Relax, Vampire." Zero replied casually. "Did you forget? Kaname is keeping her nice and close. We couldn't even get to her if we wanted to."

Wonderful. Just the image he wanted in his mind right now. If he stepped away from it all, he could see that this was Zero's goal. The hunter thought that if he could instill enough doubt, Kain would be persuaded to help them.

Tapping a finger against his knee, Zero continued to gaze out the window, watching an empty field of grass pass by. "I think you'll find this educational. Since torture has been ineffective, this might be just the thing to pull you to our side."

Yeah, he was going to become _educated_ and decide to release a substance that could destroy his entire race. Not going to happen. If torture didn't work what in the hell did Zero think would? Kain didn't bother repeating this. It seemed that Zero was incapable of seeing the opposite side of a coin. Besides, he might as well enjoy his time off the torture chair. These small breaks from hell were all he had to live for at this point.

The facility they pulled up to looked like a mental institution. It was gated. The grass and shrubs were groomed into a perfectly manicured landscape. Hunters usually dwelled in crowded urban areas, but the modern architecture practically announced that this was one of their constructions.

Zero opened the car door and waited for Kain to get out, his combat boots and black duster contrasting sharply with the flower beds along the driveway.

As he stepped out of the car, Kain felt totally out of place. They'd dressed him up like a puppet in shiny black shoes and a suit. He hadn't thought much of it at the time. Maybe they figured he should dress nice for when the ax sliced through his neck, but now he found himself standing awkwardly, staring at the clear glass doors of the building's entrance and wondering what the hell he was doing here.

Reaching into his pocket, Zero took out a key chain, then stepped around to unlock the cuffs at Kain's back.

So, the hunter thought this was in the bag. Stupid.

"If I were you, I'd keep those on." Hell, he was a breath away from blowing up everything around him.

"You're not going in as a prisoner." Unfazed by the warning, Zero headed up the steps. "You'll treat these people with respect. They deserve at least that from your kind."

"Fascinating." Sarcasm made Kain's voice flat. "You understand polite behavior, but not political concepts."

"Only results." Zero replied curtly as he waved a card across the scanner allowing the doors to slide open. "I'll understand politics when they show me results.

The doors closed behind them, cutting off the cold winter air. They were in a lobby of sorts, with chairs, sofas and potted plants. It was all terribly clean, like a dentist's office, but not quite as uninviting. It was mostly quiet. There were sounds of movement from other floors, footsteps above him, a radio from another room. Nothing a human would have been able to pick up. The fact that he wasn't surrounded by guards threw Kain off a bit, but he rolled with it, pretending like an afternoon stroll with his captor was nothing out of the ordinary.

The lone receptionist nodded to them as they passed , only speaking a simple, "Good afternoon Cross-san." as if she had seen Zero every week at this hour.

Silently observant, Kain followed Zero into an elevator and watched pensively as Zero hit the button for the eighth floor. Kain remained quiet, on edge but willing to wait for the hunter to explain.

He didn't have to wait long.

"We built this facility five years ago." Zero watched the numbers over the elevator doors as they ascended. "One of the hunters in upper management launched a campaign to help victims of pureblood attacks. She had a family member that was bitten." He shrugged. "In our line of work, it's not uncommon to see the people close to you suffer the same fate. The Association formed a humanitarian branch. This institution is the result of their efforts."

None of this came as a surprise to Kain. Kaname's faction had kept close tabs on the hunter association since before the academy. He knew that while being vampire hunters, they took a lenient approach to ex-humans, letting them fall on their own rather than taking the initiative. It often resulted in devastating situations in which the person became a monster in the spur of a moment.

Killing the ex-human before the change would have been more pragmatic but was also inhumane so to speak. Although the root cause was a bite from a pureblood, the level-E dillema was essentially seen as a human problem. Kaname had decided to follow in the hunters' footsteps, sending nobles in the academy off to take care of rogue Level-E's, but only exterminating those who had completed the change. Kain more or less agreed with his logic.

"So, what is this place then?" Kain asked, finding the whole situation ironic. "A nursing home for ex-humans?"

"You could call it that." Zero replied. "We find ex-humans, educate them about their fate, and offer this to protect their families from themselves."

"And if they choose not to come here, then what?"

"Then nothing. It's _their_ choice." A flash in the hunter's eyes betrayed the man under that calm facade. "You think we should take after the vampire model and turn them into mindless slaves to do our bidding? Or better yet, why don't we just lock them in labs and experiment on them?"

The elevator doors opened, thankfully cutting off that line of conversation.

"Cross-san!" Just as they stepped out of the elevator, a middle aged man approached them. His brown suit was well-worn, and crooked glasses hung at the bridge of his nose.

Kain immediately sensed that it was an ex-human.

The man stopped in front of Zero, bowing vigorously before straightening his badly wrinkled tie. "Did you see Anna?"

Sidestepping the shorter man, Zero dismissed him abruptly. "I don't have time for this right now, Hideki."

Following at his feet, the man wrung his hands nervously. "I know you said you were busy this week, but I was just wondering if you'd had a chance to deliver my letter."

Appearing slightly uncomfortable, Zero maintained his stride, only giving the other ex-human a quick nod. "She wasn't home when I stopped by, but I left it at the doorstep."

The man looked crestfallen at the news, his shoulders drooping. "Oh...I had thought maybe..."

Finally, Zero stopped trying to escape the little man and put a hand on his shoulder. "I'll try to make another trip next week, but I'm not promising anything."

Walking off as the man thanked him, Zero checked his wrist watch then gave an order over his shoulder. "Follow me."

Assuming that was meant for him, Kain strolled behind at his own pace. The hunter could take the lead if he wanted, but Kain sure as hell wouldn't be jumping to follow orders. He took his time, eying the pathetic looking ex-human as he passed by. The change must have been recent. This ex-human didn't appear to be showing signs of strain or agitation and hardly had the scent of a vampire at all.

Once Kain caught up, Zero spoke without preamble. "He was bitten at a night club. We approached him soon afterwards, but he didn't come in until he found himself wanting to bite his wife." Shrugging, he kept a steady pace. "We've had a few cases like this, although most of the victims are women. They are seduced and bitten, then left unaware that anything has changed until months later."

"He's barely showing signs of the change." Kain commented. "How did you find him?"

"Med files." He replied simply. "We've obtained access through several contacts. They're most often found in dental exams."

"Not blood tests?"

Sighing, Zero explained, "Blood samples don't usually show signs until it's too late."

He should have been embarrassed that vampires weren't aware of this, but Kaname's faction hadn't kept track of the hunters' more humanitarian efforts. This division of the association was non-threatening and didn't wield enough power to move political decisions. But it seemed that the hunters had actually become quite resourceful. Slightly impressed, Kain kept the thought to himself.

Zero was approached by a few more ex-humans but he managed to dismiss them far easier than he had the first. As the hunter checked his watch a few more times, Kain wondered if they were dealing with time constraints. So far, Zero had been running the show, but he certainly wasn't at the top of the ladder. The sadistic hunter must have had one of the superiors breathing down his neck.

They passed several rooms, some with their doors open, some closed. In one room there were two middle aged women drinking tea. In another, a teenager was playing video games. There was a lounge with people, all ex-human, sitting on couches and chairs watching an action movie on a small television. The windows were covered with blinds allowing only slight streaks of sunlight to slip in at the corners.

The stench became almost overwhelming. An ex-human's scent was repugnant to a natural vampire of any status. It was like the scent of a vampire, but sickly, almost as if it was possible to mix vampire blood and cancer.

And it reminded Kain of another facility that had been stocked with ex-humans. A place he'd rather forget.

"You would do them a favor by keeping your mouth shut and hiding your fangs." Zero said coldly, his excellent hearing picking up the change in Kain's breathing. "Many of them have suffered traumatic experiences at the hands of your race. You can tolerate breathing through your nose like the rest of us."

Opening his mouth and covering his nose was the last thing Kain had planned to do, but he didn't bother defending his honor. "And how do they tolerate you?" he asked instead. "You're not the same as them." _Whatever __you __are__._

"Foolish question." Zero replied harshly. "I may not be the same but you know I come from the same place as them. I'm not of the same breed as the leeches that ruined their humanity."

"There are madmen of every type. Human as well as vampire." Following a few paces behind, Kain pointed out the missing logic. "You have your rapists and serial killers. We have errant purebloods."

Moving in a flash, Zero swung around to grab Kain by the collar. Kain could have dodged it. He could have launched a counter attack that would have brought the roof down over their heads, but he chose not to. He simply braced himself as his back slammed into the wall with a crash.

"You nobles are all so fucking ignorant!" Zero lashed out with a snarl. "You think it's the same? Do you have any fucking idea what kind of oppression they've suffered just so a pureblood could have a snack?" His lips pulled back from his teeth as he jerked at the fabric in his grip. "Your purebloods will _feel_ what it means to lose everything. They will _know_ the degradation of becoming a slave. Then we can see what they think is comparable."

And thus, Zero's intentions with the drug were outlined succinctly.

Zero's eyes had begun to glaze over with red, but Kain watched him dispassionately. From spending far too much time with the neurotic hunter, he had come to realize that these temper tantrums were much less threatening than they first appeared. This was more like a child lashing out. It was the brief moments of calm calculation that Kain had learned to look out for.

Pushing himself away, Zero stalked a few feet ahead, hiding any self-inflicting pain, lust for revenge, or whatever it was that caused his mental imbalance. He spoke over his shoulder. "Just keep your thoughts to yourself and pay attention. These people don't deserve to hear your careless judgments."

Frowning, Kain followed a few paces back. He'd always considered Zero to be at least marginally intelligent. Until a week ago, he'd even had respect for the guy. Now, he wasn't sure how he could have made such a gross misjudgment of character.

As they turned another corner, Zero suddenly stopped. A few doors down, a group of humans dressed in scrubs were cleaning out one of the rooms.

Lips in a grim line, the hunter marched towards them. "Is it finished?" He demanded as he approached.

One of the men turned and said, "No, she's been taken downstairs."

Short tempered as always, Zero snapped impatiently. "Well who's taking care of it?"

Under that sharp violet glare, the young man shifted on his feet then looked to the others as if hoping they would offer some assistance. The two men removing bed sheets kept their heads down as if the task required great concentration.

"W-we called in for a hunter." The guy finally stammered. "That was yesterday, but no one's shown up yet."

Making a sound of disgust, Zero turned away from the scene, swiftly marching in the other direction.

The hunter seemed to have forgotten Kain was even there. As the distance between them grew farther, Kain found himself eying a door with a lit sign for the stairs. There was no logical reason for him to stay put. Sure, he wanted to be the one held captive so the Association didn't come up with some bullshit excuse to bring Ruka in, but he didn't need to be _here__._

The humans clearing out the room ignored him as they went about their work. A little curious and having nothing better to do, Kain stepped inside.

It was a cozy living space. Shelves with children's books and toys lined one of the walls. Family photos featuring bright smiling faces sat on the nightstand. He picked one up. A woman with dark hair smiled towards the camera, a young child stood at her knee.

"That's Atsuko." said one of the young men, the one who had shaken and stammered in front of Zero.

"She was the one who lived here?"

"Yep." He replied nonchalantly as he picked up a wooden train and threw it into a bag. "Kept to herself. Most of them do. She always sent letters home though. Every day at two o'clock, she'd come out and drop one in the mail box."

"Her family didn't visit?" Not that he really cared.

The human looked at him as if he was some kind of imbecile. "Of course not. None of them do." At Kain's frown, the human went on to explain, "Look, if you knew someone was going to turn into a blood-thirsty beast would you want to have anything to do with them? Would you want them around knowing they might kill you or the people you care about?" He shrugged as if it was nothing. "Can't really blame them for it, can you?"

Well...no, he guessed he couldn't. Still, it seemed strange that ex-humans would come here, willingly cutting themselves off from the people they loved. On the other hand, wasn't it better than living next to someone and knowing that one day you might lose yourself to insanity and kill them?

The woman who had lived in this room wasn't here, but a longing for her child was written in every detail of the room. The toys were kept in impeccable condition, shining and new, each in their specified place on the shelf, as if she had been keeping them in hopes of seeing the little boy in the photo just one last time.

And for some reason, it made him think of Ruka. All this time, he had been consoling himself with memories, telling himself that knowing she was safe would be enough. But to see her just one last time, to smell her hair, to hear her voice – a few words or even a sigh...

"I wonder what she's doing now." He spoke of the blue.

Brushing beside him to clear out the dresser drawers, the worker assumed the question was directed at him, "When they get close to falling, they get taken downstairs to live out the last of it. You understand, we can't have them endangering the others."

Forcing his mind away from a wish that would never happen, Kain said. "And when they turn Level-E, you call in a hunter to execute them."

"Execute? Hell, the hunters are doing them a favor. Go see for yourself. The stairs will take you straight there." He snatched the photo out of Kain's hand. "Now, if you'll let us finish? We gotta get this room cleared up for the next resident." He shouldered Kain aside to throw the rest of the woman's cherished possessions into the bag.

With his presence clearly unwanted, Kain backed out of the room.

The humans continued with their tasks, uncaring. It was just another day on the job. One more ex-human had fallen and was scratched off a list of residents. So much was revealed in their blank expressions, in the boring routine.

Just how many people came through this place? Using heightened senses, Kain cut off the sound of the workers and listened. There was the heater, electronic devices, then the sounds of shuffling feet from various floors, pieces of conversations, and heartbeats. There were too many, all suffering loss only to be fated with an agonizing death.

And they had each been afflicted by the whim of a pureblood.

The very same purebloods that noble society put on pedestals and practically worshiped.

Kain didn't know what made him start walking. Finding himself in the stair well, he descended, his gut sinking as the stench grew stronger. The smell triggered memories – clean white walls, chemicals, dried blood, then everything burning. The last ex-human he had ever slain lying motionless in a contorted heap on the floor.

It had been the only time the light of a fire hadn't made him feel alive. Instead, he had felt cold, even as the flames had consumed all around him.

Had his face had that same blank expression?

Cover ups. Assassinations. They had become routine, just another day on the job. He'd consoled himself with the thought that it was for the greater purpose of protecting his race, but look at how that had turned out. Sure, thousands of vampires lived their lives in relative safety, but secrets had failed him when it came to the one person that mattered.

The dark atmosphere of the basement suited his mood. Brick lined the walls. The floor was covered in a layer of dust. It was just as well. This level of the facility represented a lair for death. Any cheap attempts to cheer up the place would have been insensitive to those who lost their souls here.

Venturing further, he came to a heavy gate blocking off the rest of the basement. Inhuman screeching was coming from one of the cells on the other side.

A large guard dressed in black folded his arms and stepped in his path. Quickly assessing the guy, Kain determined it wasn't a hunter. The scent wasn't right and the human didn't have any visible tattoos.

"Just who in the hell are you?" the guard grunted.

Never one to instigate a confrontation, Kain figured he'd try name dropping. "I'm with Cross."

The guard didn't budge, but Zero's voice cut through the bars. "Let him in."

Casting another glare, the guard slid open the gate.

As Kain passed through, Zero was loading a clip into the Bloody Rose, his face an unreadable mask. The screeching was coming from the other side of a heavy door. There were no bars, no windows, not even a slit in the door, but the scent of the Level-E oozed through the cracks. The door shook as the once human creature repeatedly rammed its body at the other side.

No doubt it could smell them as well.

"If you were hoping for a show, your out of luck." Zero said, his voice without any trace of emotion. "She wouldn't have wanted anyone else to see her like this."

As one of the nobles Kaname had assigned to kill Level-E's on the streets, Kain had seen this far too many times before. Back then, he had considered it a noble deed. They all had. Now the thought made him sick. They had only been cleaning up after some pureblood's mess, then patting themselves on the back for their _generosity_. It did nothing to solve this problem that had truly become an epidemic.

For the moment, Kain decided to forgive Zero for being a bastard. Seeing this kind of shit every day would make anyone disagreeable. "Did you bring me here with the intention of meeting her?"

"Maybe." Zero replied noncommittally. "She was bitten shortly before me. That was almost ten years ago, but it doesn't matter now." He rubbed his eyes for a second, and the gesture almost made him seem human. The type of thing a guy did when he knew he'd already lost.

_Ten __years__. _That was way too long for an ex-human. It was true that Zero had made it longer than that but that was because he'd had Kaname's blood.

Which could only mean... "Someone's been feeding her." Shocked, the words just slipped out of him. "A pureblood."

Clicking off the safety of the gun, Zero seemed to compose himself. "Don't fly off the handle. It's not like we're keeping purebloods locked in a lab somewhere and draining them dry."

Without another word Zero swung open the door, slamming it behind him. It only took a few seconds, too fast for there to have been any kind of struggle. The booming sound of a shot echoed down the hall. The animalistic screeching suddenly stopped, leaving only deafening silence.

In a matter of seconds, everything had become clear. The Kuran faction was done. The hunter's wouldn't even need their anti-vampire drug. _This_ would be Kaname's undoing.

The sound of footsteps brought Kain out of his dark thoughts. Zero was just stepping out of the cell as Toga Yagari and none other than Kaien Cross himself emerged from the dark hallway.

The second he was within reaching distance, Yagari grabbed Zero by the shoulder and tossed him against the wall. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouted, his one eye glaring ferociously. "You were supposed to bring him in an hour ago!"

Not backing down an inch, Zero spat back. "I figured he should have some perspective before he sees us bowing our heads to a pureblood like dogs."

Yagari took a step back as if he'd been struck.

Kaien just sighed and shook his head. "Parenting is never easy."

Not really paying attention to their antics, Kain's eyes wandered to another figure. A person dressed as a nun stood at the other end of the hallway. Her face was hidden by a hood, her body surrounded in shadows. Kain took in a breath to distinguish a scent and came up with nothing.

Looking to the hunters, he wondered when they would address the fact that someone else was here, but they were too busy arguing about what to do with him.

"You lost your chance, Zero." Yagari was saying. "You fucked it up and now you have to pay the consequences. We're taking it from here."

His violet eyes lit with hatred, Zero glared at his superiors. "He's all yours. We can't leave Kaname-sama waiting can we?"

With that last spitting remark, the stark hunter turned and walked away.

If looks could kill, Yagari's one eye would have torn a hole through Zero's back. "I didn't teach him this."

"Let it go, Toga." Kaien said reproachingly. "He's old enough to make his own choices." Turning to Kain, he gave a slight bow of his head. "I'm sorry, but we've kept you longer than we intended. Please come with us."

Still puzzling over the figure of the nun in the distance, Kain decided not to let the polite dismissal of a week of nonstop torture piss him off. Squinting his eyes, he thought he saw the silhouette flicker as if it was an image on water. He blinked, and it disappeared.

The damned drugs were screwing with his senses.

* * *

Kaname sat with a poise Ruka had spent her entire life trying to master. How he managed it at a time like this, she could only guess.

Sitting in the back of the limo, she addressed him for the first time since they'd left, "Aren't we rather late?"

The way Aidou was haphazardly flipping through one document after another was distracting, but Kaname didn't seem to notice. "We are not missing anything." He replied without so much as a glance in her direction.

"Ruka, did I tell you what to say if they ask about Shirabuki?" Aidou interjected, as he scanned another page. "It's not related, but if they ask, make sure to tell them we are not affiliated with Sara. Tell them you lack sufficient knowledge to make comments on her activities."

Rolling her eyes, Ruka held her tongue. Kaname had asked Aidou to brief her so she would be prepared for anything, but Aidou had taken on the task with so much zeal that she found herself wanting to throttle him.

"Especially if they bring up anything about her biting humans, or any other pureblood doing anything against the treaty for that matter." Aidou went on. "We lack sufficient knowledge to admit or deny. Just stick to that phrase even if you're unsure."

Enough was enough. "Aidou, I'm only uninformed because all of you have kept things from me. I'm not stupid."

Flustered, Aidou sat at the edge of the seat. "This is serious, Ruka! You can't give away anything. If he's not there when we arrive just stall and if he doesn't show up you have to back out like I told you even if..."

"That's enough Aidou." Kaname cut him off, his tone patient. "Thank you for your assistance, but I have confidence that Ruka is prepared."

Stopped mid-sentence, Aidou's eyes widened but his mouth snapped closed. Ruka suddenly found herself feeling sorry for him. After all, by simply being here the young noble ran the risk of being disowned from his family, not to mention the fact that his cousin's life was on the line.

The thought made her insides twist with fear. All day she had been dangerously close to cracking, but had managed to keep it together by a thread. She could not lose herself at a time like this.

But she didn't have to go in unprepared. Kaname knew they weren't going to be late, but didn't appear to be worried. Perhaps he had been using his powers? Maybe he had seen more than he'd let on.

"Kaname-sama, is Akatsuki..." Nervously, she tried to put the question into words. "I mean...has he been..."

She couldn't finish the thought. What if they had disfigured him? What if they brought him to this meeting and he was missing an eye or had scars that would make him unrecognizable? She didn't think she would be able to hold it together.

Glancing up from wringing her hands, she found Kaname watching her, his eyes dark but gentle. "You needn't worry about his physical condition. He is in good health."

Aidou must have been latching on to every word as well, because Ruka heard him let out a long sigh of relief, mirroring her own feelings. It wasn't much, but Kaname's words eased some of her worry. Now all she had to do was make sure Akatsuki stayed that way.

* * *

If there was ever a time he wanted to be someplace else, it was now. The meeting was taking place in a room he recognized, a location both sides had agreed upon as neutral territory. Everything was almost too familiar. High ceilings, hardwood floors, the bare décor – nothing had really changed.

Except this time Kain found himself sitting on the opposite side of the room.

The suit and tie made sense now. The minute Kain had sat down, the hunters had looked him over from head to toe. Of course, they wouldn't want the vampires they intended to bargain with knowing they had damaged the goods.

Kaien Cross leaned over to speak to him confidentially. "Please feel free to speak if you'd like to add anything during the discussion."

No longer surprised at the president's stubbornly polite formalities, Kain just nodded as a courtesy. He should have burst out laughing. What a joke that was. If anything had changed, it was that his fate had just been made that much more bleak. A hasty meeting shortly after his capture could only point to one conclusion: Kaname didn't trust him. And at a time when top secret information was being handed to vampire hunters on a silver platter, not having Kaname's trust put him in a dangerous position indeed.

One of the guards at the door announced that Kaname's party had arrived and several of the Association's highest ranking officials moved to take their seats.

Seiren entered first, her sterling eyes efficiently scanning the room for signs of an ambush. Upon determining the area was neutralized, she stepped aside, allowing Kaname to pass through.

Graceful as ever, the pureblood monarch strolled into the room. Taking off his coat and handing it to an attendant, he somberly addressed the hunter's leader. "It has been too long Cross-san." Polite yet calculated, the pureblood's voice resonated with that of an old friend. "It is good to see you are doing well."

Kaien Cross responded in kind, but Kain had stopped listening. Aidou had walked in, and in a way they had been doing since they were five, the cousins' eyes met in silent communication.

While it wasn't uncommon for Aidou to overreact emotionally, he always maintained a professional demeanor for these types of things. But this time, Aidou appeared to be a nervous wreck. He was holding a binder stuffed messily with paper that stuck out on all sides. His blonde hair was frazzled as if he hadn't touched it in days. For Christ's sake, the playboy's tie was crooked. His cousin would never go out in public like this.

Raising an eyebrow, Kain looked at him as if to say, _What __the __hell __happened __to __you__?_

Aidou turned his head, nervously glancing behind him in the direction of the doorway, then turned back to Kain. His blue eyes fell into a pleading look that Kain instantly recognized as, _It__'__s __not __my __fault__! __I __didn__'__t __do __it__!_

Which, of course, was always a lie.

But it wasn't until the last person walked in, that Kain understood what it meant.

His first sensation was a feeling of pure joy. The warmth of elation mixed oddly with a painful twist in his chest.

God, she was beautiful.

Ruka stepped in proudly, her chin in the air, her chestnut hair cascading over her shoulders. Her rose eyes were filled with that same determination that could take him to pieces in a matter of seconds. In an instant, the room disappeared. He saw himself alone with her, burying his face in her hair, confessing his every last regret.

Under long lashes, she snuck a discreet glance in his direction. Then, after closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath, she resumed her posture.

And Kain snapped out of it.

Wait. What the hell was she doing here?

They had taken their seats and Kaname was speaking, "I apologize for any inconvenience that may have been caused by my haste in calling this meeting, but I speak on behalf of all nobles that make up the Kuran faction when I state that we consider the death of any human to be of a most severe and urgent nature..."

The political speech went on, a dull murmur in the background of Kain's tulmultuous thoughts. This was not an offer to exchange prisoners. It couldn't be. Aidou wouldn't have agreed to that. His cousin would understand that he had put himself in this position willingly. Besides, Aidou cared for Ruka like a sister, it was surprising enough that he had even consented to bringing her here in the first place.

But it didn't matter if she was here to take his place or not. The minute she had stepped through that door, she had become a target. Kain's heart began to pound in fear for her. God, he hoped she didn't know anything. He prayed with everything he had that the hunters wouldn't decide that she would be worth pursuing.

The thought of her going through even a fraction of the hell he'd been put through in the past week...

Christ, it was everything he had worked to avoid, the very reason he'd made this sacrifice..

Kaname went on to explain why Ruka was here - to shed some light on the matter at hand - or so he put it.

And Kain felt his mind turn black as the pureblood laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. Long white fingers caressed the soft fabric of her chemise. The gesture was slightly nurturing, yet almost possessive. Kain's stomach fell to the floor as Ruka's facial features relaxed. In a brief moment, her eyes closed as she drew on the support provided.

It all flooded back, that brutal feeling of inadequacy. Power streamed from the pureblood in waves. Even humans could sense it.

In the meantime, all Kain had been capable of doing was acting as a shield. His life, his honor, his self respect - he had sacrificed all of it, just so she wouldn't have to.

Kaien Cross followed this announcement with a series of questions. Why was her testimony important? What could she possibly know that they weren't already aware of?

It was then that her purpose here sunk in, and Kain wasn't sure if he would rather explode or disappear. She may not have been here to exchange her life for his, but Kaname's use for her was no less sacrificial.

And Kain had no control over it. He couldn't take on one pureblood and a room full of hunters. He couldn't stop it. All he could do was watch as everything he'd worked for - every cover up, every dirty political decision, every guilt rendering execution - was thrown to waste.

"Please understand." Ruka was saying, her voice soft and serious. "What happened that night, is not an isolated situation, and the events of that evening should be taken as a warning."

Kaien Cross, who had been taken off guard by Ruka's appearance, asked, "A warning for what, Lady Souen."

With the determination of a woman scorned, Ruka leveled her gaze on the Assocation's president. "This incident is a small consequence compared to what our two peoples could be facing in the near future."

She couldn't have stated it more eloquently, but Kaien's features darkened. It was unusual to see in a man who had often presented himself as a doting father. Slightly lifting his glasses, he looked at Kaname pointedly, "If this will begin with the issue of threats, then there is little point in having this discussion."

Unflinching, Kaname met his eyes. "Chemicals manufactured by the Hunter Association have resulted in the violation of one of my closest followers. And due to your relentless pursuit of her, I was forced to take evasive maneuvers, discarding her from my faction in an attempt to protect her." His eyes darkened menacingly. "Not only that, but you currently hold a person vital to the political prosperity of my faction." After pausing for a second, his voice lowered. "We've known each other for a long time Kaien. You know I will stop at nothing to protect what's mine."

The barely voiced threat was enough to cause the president to shift in his seat, "Very well." Kaien said, after only a brief moment of consideration. "We will listen to her story."

And with that final consent, Ruka was put on the stand. With steel resolve and an uncomparable bravery, she went over every jarring detail of that fateful night, everything from the material of her dress to each intimate place the perversive human had touched her. The hunters questioned her ruthlessly. How much leg had she been showing? Hadn't her actions given the impression that she wanted to be touched? Did he rip off her underwear or pull it down her legs? Didn't she make any attempt at all to try and stop him? Did she want to have sex with him? Did he achieve penetration?

Each question tore into Kain like a jagged knife, and it didn't take long before he had completely crushed the wooden edges of his seat in an attempt to stay silent. Sitting here, desperately wanting to protect her, but knowing that even a few words would only make her testimony seem that much less credible - it was by far the worst torture he had ever had to endure.

So he watched the woman he had been willing to give his life to protect become persecuted for an incident in which she had been an obvious victim. He knew they would latch onto her like a missing link. He knew that this meeting would not be the end of it. He knew it and he could do nothing to stop it.

A slow burning fire built into rage.

Once he'd said to Kaname, _If __you __ever __hurt __her__, __I __will __never __forgive __you__._

The pureblood had gone too far. _This_ was beyond forgiveness.

Ever the calm diplomat, Kaname watched Ruka with a stale, bored expression, as if they were all here for his amusement.

Kain turned his glare to the vampire he had once respected, not caring that his eyes betrayed murderous intentions.

But at some point - through a thick fog of fury - Kain registered a familiar scent in the air, an unmistakable fragrance that would put any vampire on edge. Seiren and Aidou turned their heads, unable to hide their wide eyes and shocked expressions.

"I ummm," In the middle of responding to one of Yagari's questions, Ruka's concentration broke and her eyes worriedly flickered to Kaname.

Recognizing that something was amiss, Kaien Cross spoke up, "Is there something going on here we should know about?"

All eyes were on Kaname, but he didn't balk, didn't voice the fact that his followers had noticed the scent of his blood. He simply released one hand from a fist and slowly flattened it on the table. The small specs of blood on his well-manicured nails were just barely visible.

"No." He replied smoothly, in response to the hunter's question as well as the concerned looks of his followers. "Please continue."

So, the pureblood was in turmoil as well. It served him right, but it wasn't enough. Never taking his eyes off of him, Kain hoped Kaname was tearing apart inside. He hoped that guilt was eating away at the pureblood's aristocratic soul.

After one long look at Kaname, Kaien Cross returned to Ruka, "You were saying, Lady Souen?"

With an admirable show of fortitude, Ruka resumed her composure. "Yes, about the substance that was added to my drink. I believe it was the very chemical Kaname-sama mentioned earlier. In essence, the attack against me that night, was caused by actions taken by your association, even if it was indirectly."

The room grew still as she finished, and Kain felt as if he was reliving a memory. It was like a dream, or more accurately a nightmare, the one night of his life he would never outlive.

Ruka was a grown woman. She could make her own decisions. It was perfectly obvious that she could hold herself up among men, but if he hadn't been a man of reason, if he had been more like Aidou, would he have walked into that room when Ruka made that decision to donate her blood to Kaname? Would he have stopped her from hurting herself?

Kaien was addressing Kaname, asking if the Kuran faction shared her point of view.

There was a furtive exchange of words. Ruka's face was gaunt, her eyes almost red with fatigue, but Kaname placed a hand on her back to support her. Seiren guarded her charge with watchful eyes. Aidou looked at Kaname as if he wanted to fall to the floor in absolute worship.

The decision was made. Akatsuki Kain could return to the faction, with the condition that the Lady Souen would consent to a written statement, and that the vampires would provide full disclosure, allowing the Association to watch her every move.

No one seemed to notice that she had given up her one chance at freedom, and in stunned dismay, no one said a word when Kain walked out of the room.

* * *

**Meh, there are so many things I wanted to be able to write better, but I hope you were able to enjoy it a little bit at least. As always, feel free to let me know what you think, and don't worry if you want to tell me you didn't like it. I have thick skin. **

**Besides, I have big plans for the next chapter...**


	24. From Silence to Mutiny

**Your going to want to kill me cause this chapter has been sitting on my computer for 2 weeks now, but the thing is, I really wanted to write the next part too and give it to you in one lump sum. Ugh, oh well, hopefully you still enjoy this. **

**I know the updates have been coming slowly, so thank you so much for your patience and dedicated reviewing. And don't worry, there is no way this story will ever get dropped. Kain and Ruka will get their HEA. They certainly deserve it after all the hell I've put them through. :p**

* * *

Standing over Kaname's desk, Ruka went over the list yet again, memorizing the feel of each name on her lips. The benefit was being held to promote research of blood disease, sickle cell anemia specifically - a cause Ruka had chosen herself after great deliberation. The Kuran faction needed to prove that an alliance with humans could only further enhance the well-being of vampire society, and no vampire liked the thought of drinking sick blood. As devious as the plan was, Ruka was surprised nobody else had thought of it before.

The Tanaka's, the Kinjo's, and of course Aidou's father would all be in attendance. Then there would be the Shiki's and Ichijou's, who would only have a few members present to display good relations. The Touya's, however, were her target, so to speak. They had defaulted when the Aidou's had announced their break from the faction, and even though the Aidou's support had been restored, the Touya's, like Rima, had a stubborn streak in their line that required greater convincing.

All she had to do was help Kaname get the last noble family back under his wing, and then, finally, the Kuran faction would be restored and her mission completed.

Exhausted, Ruka set the list down and leaned against the edge of the desk to rub her eyes. The past two months had been the longest of her life. Hours upon hours of plannings, meetings, dinners and events had drawn out each night until she'd thought this day would never come.

Looking down at her sore feet, she cursed her shoes. What she wouldn't give to spend an evening in sneakers rather than stillettos.

"The guests should begin arriving any minute now." Seiren, who had been diligently standing guard at the doorway, reminded her. "You still need to check on Yuuki-sama."

Enviously, Ruka looked at Seiren's flat, rubber-soled shoes. "Do you think I could pull off a tuxedo as well as you do?"

"Only if you plan to become a body-guard." Seiren replied stoically as she gave Ruka a once over. "Silver suits you just fine."

"Thank you." Having come to understand the subtleties in Seiren's speech, Ruka now knew a compliment when she heard one.

When Kaname had ordered her to guard Ruka, Seiren had at first resisted. It had been the only time Ruka had ever seen the obsessively devoted vampire show a disagreement with Kaname in anything. Despite the affront at Seiren's insistance that guarding Ruka was a poor placement for her superior abilities, Ruka had encouraged the silent body-guard to speak her mind. Then, as Ruka had proved herself to be more than useful in restoring the power of the Kuran faction, so too had she gained Seiren's respect.

Even though Ruka no longer felt the same animosity, Seiren's hatred of her was deep rooted. The lackee may have always been civil on the surface, but Ruka knew that when all was said and done, Seiren's devotion only lead to one person.

Speaking of which, "Where is Kaname?"

"He said he needed to speak with Aidou." Seiren replied. "Something about preventative discipline."

Of course. "And Yuuki?"

"Still in her room."

A familiar feeling of dread made Ruka close her eyes in fatigue. Why Kaname continued to ask her to do this, she could never understand.

"You are pale." Seiren said, her voice almost mechanic. "Your insistence upon working underfed is unprofessional."

Was there a hint of concern in that reprimanding statement? No. She must have imagined it.

Ruka side-stepped the subject. " It's getting late and like you said, I still have to check on Yuuki. Are you coming with me or not?"

Another nod was her only answer, and Ruka stole the opportunity to escape the room.

Her fall from grace had been quickly followed by the realization that as long as these drugs were still lingering in her system, she would be incapable of true independence. Her very life was dependent on the generosity of others willing to donate their blood. Kaname didn't even need to hold his threats over her head to keep her in line.

Seiren followed at her heels. Silent and observant, she shared many of Akatsuki's traits. Except Kain would have seen right through her facade. He would have known she was lying when she said she wasn't thirsty, and he would have made her take his, slowly and sensually.

The feel of her heart breaking almost caused her feet to slip from under her. That's what it felt like now. Every thought of him - every little inconsequential reminder of his manner, his voice, his crooked smile - made the pain come back like the cutting of a fresh wound.

Now she knew that focusing all of her attention on work could be her recourse, but during those first few weeks after the meeting with the hunters she'd felt as though she had nothing. Akatsuki had walked out of that meeting and had utterly disappeared. Weeks of scouring every last place he could possibly be, sleepless nights of wracking her brain trying to think of where he might go, countless visits to his family's home - nothing had uncovered him.

Eventually, it had sunk in that he had left her, and after struggling to hold herself up for so long, Ruka had finally broken down. She'd had no family to go home to, no person she could trust. Aidou seemed to think this seperation was for the best. The mere mention of Akatsuki's name caused Kaname's eyes to darken as if he relished the thought of murder.

Her name had lost every last trace of respect it once held. She'd had to do all of her work in discreet meeting rooms at the corner of every gathering while her parents walked amongst aristocrats, seemingly unaffected by her shame. They had abandoned her, just as they had always threatened. Her deepest childhood fears had become reality.

And on top of it all, the man she loved more than the earth itself had walked out of her life. She should have known it would happen, should have seen the signs. He'd never said that he loved her. There had never been any promises. She should have realized that just like with her parents, she hadn't met his expectations. But how could she when she'd never even learned what they were?

It embarrassed her now, how pathetic she must have seemed then, but at the time the pain had been fresh, yet unrelenting. Locked in her room, she had endured it for days on end.

Aidou had visited her repeatedly, desperately trying to cheer her up by bringing old friends from the Academy to visit, but words of consolation had only seemed petty and transparent.

Somehow, he had even managed to convince her mother to visit, who had proceeded to scold her for indulging in self-pity. Despite the fact that she had been disowned, she still carried Souen blood, and no Souen woman would ever allow herself to be taken down by a man. Her mother had insisted that since Ruka would no longer be receiving funds from their household, she needed to pick herself, get out of bed, get a job of some sort, and move on with her life.

The picture her mother must have made, scolding her depressed and vulnerable daughter, was almost comic in a dark sort of way. Still, her mother must have given it up at some point, because before she left, Ruka distinctly remembered feeling an awkward pat on her shoulder as her mother said, "It's only a first love, deary. We all go through this at some point in our lives."

But it wasn't a first love, or a second or a third. There wasn't a replacement. It hadn't been some fickle infatuation to be forgotton at the sight of a new handsome face. Even now, standing in the halls of Kaname's grand mansion, Ruka knew there would be no one else for her.

And she had never felt so alone.

"Are you going to knock?"

Jolted to the present, Ruka gave Seiren her back and hurriedly rubbed the dampness away from her cheeks. "Oh, excuse me." She managed to keep her voice level. "A bit of mascara seems to be caught in my eye."

A tissue appeared in front of her, and Ruka took it, muttering a polite thank you to Seiren, who stood next to her glaring, as if disgusted with herself for doing something kind.

"Yuuki-sama is waiting." Seiren pressed impatiently.

Wonderful. Here she was again, standing in front of Yuuki's door, preparing for another awkward interval of stilted conversation and cloaked glances. Guilt set in like a murky cloud, but Ruka swallowed it down. She sucked in a breath, before knocking on the door. Losing herself to those emotions now would be inexcusable.

The door swung open before she could give it a third knock.

"Ruka-chan! I was about to come looking for you." Yuuki's large innocent eyes met hers in a look that was far too supplicating for a pureblood princess. Dressed in a button down coat and wool cap, she appeared as if she was either on her way out or just getting in.

Either way, it was a problem.

Faced with this entirely unexpected dilemma, Ruka's solemn thoughts vanished. Every grueling dinner spent with a fake smile plastered on her face, every suffocating conversation with condescending diplomats, pompous nobles, and people like her parents who wanted nothing more than to use her as a prop. It had all accumulated to this last night. This benefit meant everything to the Kuran faction.

"Good lord, Yuuki-sama. We have to get you changed!" Honestly, at times like this she felt like she was taking care of a child.

Being in the basement, Yuuki's room had no windows, but the young princess had managed to make it cozy with a few thow pillows and soft lamps. Still, Kaname indulged his fiance with every luxury, including a rediculously large bathroom with marble floors and a jacuzzi.

Ignoring proprieties, Ruka passed the canopied bed and antique dresser as she marched to the walk-in closet. Scanning the abundant contents of lace and silky fabrics, she hastily picked a dress - off-white, simple but elegant - it would have to do.

"Oh, you don't have to do that." Appearing worried, Yuuki twisted her hands together as Ruka laid the dress on the bed.

"Take off your hat so I can brush your hair." Forgetting to use formalities and honorifics in her rush, Ruka fumbled through the vanity drawer for a barrette.

"Wait. There's something I wanted to talk to you about." Yuuki tried to stop her as Ruka stalked towards her charge, armed with a barrette in one hand and a hair brush in the other.

Every single time Ruka had been in this room, Yuuki had been quiet and withdrawn, obviously holding something in but not willing to discuss it. And now she wanted to talk? They didn't have time for this!

"I'm sorry, but whatever you have to say can wait ,Yuuki-sama." Ruka cut her off. "For now, lets just focus on fixing your appearance."

She didn't want to talk about anything. Talking made things real. It forced her to admit her weaknesses, forced her to remember. Only by keeping everyone at arms length had she managed to get through it.

But as Ruka lifted the hat off Yuuki's head and began to undo the buttons of her coat, Yuuki stopped her with the singular act of lifting one small hand and placing it gently against Ruka's cheek.

"Please, Ruka-chan." Her voice was as soft as a whisper, her dark eyes forlorn. "I can't bear to go on without speaking to you about this."

Kneeling on the carpet, having just undone the last button of the spring coat, Ruka looked up to the face of their pureblood princess and went totally still.

There was deep sadness in Yuuki's eyes that almost looked familiar, but Ruka couldn't put her finger on it. Was it regret? Maybe fear?

Yet again, this was all her fault. Her actions, no matter how involuntary, always hurt the people around her. That awful feeling of guilt came back in full force, making her wish more than anything that she could go back in time and undo the past.

She had no right to deny Yuuki this conversation, no matter how ill-timed.

Without averting her eyes, she spoke to Seiren, who stood guarding the open door. "Seiren, do you mind giving us a few minutes?"

There was a moment of hesitation before Seiren responded, "Shall I tell Kaname that Yuuki-sama will be fashionably late?"

Lifting herself to her feet, Ruka nodded gratefully. "Yes that would be very helpful. Thank you."

The white haired vampire looked from Yuuki to Ruka, her face revealing nothing of her thoughts. Then she gave a swift bow and left the room, softly closing the door behind her.

After keeping silent for three months, Ruka found herself rushing to get the talking over with. "I'm so sorry, Yuuki-sama, but I want you to know that I didn't plan this. I didn't come back here with the intention of taking anything from you." The words poured out in a torrent, and she paced the floor in agitation, pressing a hand against her stomach as the shame of such an atrocious sin made her feel ill. "I know people say this all the time, but it means nothing. Truely."

"I think it means something to him."

Yuuki had only murmured the words, but they hit like a blow to the head. "Oh Yuuki no." Ruka said, shaking her head at how totally wrong that was. "He just does it to keep me here. But not because it means anything. It's just so he can use me."

Frowning, Yuuki said, "I know he can be selfish at times, but onii-san isn't that heartless."

Embarrassed that she had just insulted their pureblood leader, in front of the princess no less, Ruka found herself taking it back, albeit tartly. "I spoke out of turn. You know him better than any of us."

"Yes."

That single word, spoken softly, had the saddest tone, as if it was something heartbreaking. It left Ruka in total consternation. Had she missed something? Was there some other secret that no one was letting her in on?

With a guilt stricken look, Yuuki gazed at her hands as she spoke. "Actually this isn't what I wanted to talk to you about."

How embarrassing. And here she could have avoided all of this. "Oh, when you said you wanted to talk about something I just thought..."

"Yes, I know." Yuuki said, then added helpfullly, "We can if you'd like to."

"No." Good god, no. Ruka was more than ready to change the subject. "What is it then?"

"Well...the thing is.." After twisting her hands several more times, worry etched into the corners of her lips, Yuuki finally let out a breath. "I think I know where Kain-senpai has been all this time."

* * *

"I'm surprised that you've decided to come out tonight." Opening a metal case, Lord Aidou leaned across the seat and offered a cigar.

Momentarily distracted from the passing scenery outside the limousine window, Kain declined the offer with a slight shake of his head. As much as he enjoyed smoke and flames, he could never understand why older vampires picked up the habit.

"To be honest, I would have expected Hanabusa to be sitting where you are now." His uncle went on. "He has a propensity for getting himself involved in mischief. It must come from his mother. You, however, have always been the cautious one."

"I suppose I'll take that as a compliment." Kain replied flatly, his eyes trailing back to the window even though there wasn't much to see. It was the darkest of nights - a clear sky but no moon. They were passing through the last residential area on the outskirts of town, heading towards Kaname's mansion.

"As well you should." Lord Aidou affirmed. "The Kuran faction needs someone of your stature. Someone who can handle the unsettling realities of our business."

A bitter taste formed in Kain's mouth. "Kaname has never failed to use me for those exact purposes."

With a knowing look, Lord Aidou muttered, "Yes, I suppose he has..." then waited as if expecting Kain to expound.

Silently, Kain extended a hand, letting out a small flame from his index finger to light the distinguished noble's cigar. As Lord Aidou took a puff, Kain took the time to re-evaluate his next course of action. Like himself, Hanabusa's father was a man who could keep secrets, and Kain would only be able to guess at how much he knew. His instincts told him that Lord Aidou knew enough. After all, Hanabusa wouldn't be able keep his mouth shut with his father.

Assumptions weren't enough though. It would be better to err on the side of caution.

"Your father was a man of reason." Leaning back, his uncle looked at him with a hint of pride. "You've taken after him you know. Though, I wish I could say it came from my side of the family."

"I'm not so sure about that." Kain kept his voice nonchalant. Lord Aidou had made a hefty investment when he'd reaffirmed his support for the Kuran faction. It would take time for that transaction to begin paying off, which meant now was the time to strike. Now, he would be vulnerable. "You were the one to teach me everything I know about the business. Who says it didn't come from you?"

Waving a hand, his uncle replied, "Whatever you've learned, you've learned on your own. I never taught a thing."

That wasn't true. Even as a young child, he'd had ample learning opportunities from watching his uncle. Just like the rest of the world, vampire society was driven by money, and the Aidou's had most of it. But unlike a CEO of some major corporation, Lord Aidou operated in the business of politics. He bought debt. He sold favors. He created names.

It was all about knowing what someone wanted, what they would pay for, and most importantly what they feared.

Everything was in place. Everything he wanted was within his reach. Kain felt his blood rush with adrenaline. He was tired of waiting.

"I have an offer that may interest you."

Lord Aidou's thick eyebrows lifted with intrigue. "I expected that you'd called me because you wanted something, but an offer?" He took another drag, and the light of the cigar flickered in his aged eyes, revealing a touch of arrogance. "Smart of you to come to me first, by the way."

"I thought so."

A moment of silence passed as Kain mulled over his pitch one last time. One wrong word, and the plan he'd taken months to formulate could be ruined in a matter of seconds.

But just like Hanabusa, Lord Aidou could be impatient. "Well, out with it then. Tell me your offer, and I'll decide what it's worth to me."

Although his uncle's manner was flippant, Kain knew the older vampire too well to underestimate him. Lord Aidou was ruthless in a way that Kain was now learning to admire. Unfortunately, that meant he wouldn't get a good price unless he pushed the right buttons.

Well, drastic measures often provided the best results. "What if I told you I had access to a substance that could kill purebloods?"

It took a lot to shock a man who'd been around the world a few dozen times, but with his hand still just out the window to ash his cigar, Lord Aidou froze for a split second, then quickly covered it up with a shrug. "Then I'd say you're either insane or you have a death wish. Considering you're my nephew, I'm hoping it's the former."

Amazing. The vampire was sitting in front of him, purposely covering up any knowledge he had about the council's actions, probably plotting exactly how he would rat him out to Kaname-sama the second they arrived.

How comforting it was to know that his own uncle would throw him to the dogs if it meant conserving the hypocrisy of the pureblood monarchs.

Any trepidation Kain had once felt for what he was about to do faded away. "I suppose you could say I'm insane. Or you could say I have more power at my fingertips than the purebloods and the council combined."

"Please don't insult my intelligence, young man." he scolded. "We both know the council has been extinguished."

With a smirk, Kain replied, "Would I be insulting your intelligence if I pretended you have no knowledge of what they left behind?"

Lord Aidou tensed. "_Everything_ was extinguished." Although his voice held confidence, his eyebrows were drawn together with worry.

Kain took advantage of it. "Or maybe that was something I told your son so he could get a full night's sleep on his lavender scented pillows.

All appearances of family congeniality vanished from his uncle's eyes. Lord Aidou turned to him with icy forbearance. "I've always liked you, Akatsuki, and I know you don't want to bring your own uncle to ruin. So I'll give you a head start. Once we arrive, you have one hour to get down on your knees in front of Kaname-sama and tell him everything you know. Beg him for mercy, and you might survive."

The irony of it was almost comic. Kain glanced out the window. They'd come to the right place. This area was deserted. Bracing himself, he gave the punch line, "Or I could just kill him."

When the attack came, Kain was ready for it.

His uncle launched at him with such velocity that the car almost flipped over. The old man was powerful, but fortunately Kain was already a step ahead of him. Even so, he just barely managed to dodge the blow. Dropping to the floor, he let out a curse as a stone fist that would have detached his head from his body whizzed just over his hairline. The window Kain had been sitting in front of exploded with a crash.

Glass shattered. The limousine fishtailed along the road, rocking the car from one side to the other. As Lord Aidou turned to face him, the motion cause him to lose his balance. Kain stole the opportunity, not wanting to give the other noble another chance at a blow. Elbow first, Kain shoved his weight into the older vampire's throat.

Lord Aidou's head fell back, his neck pressed against the broken edge of the window, his blonde hair flying in the wind. Using all of his strength, Kain kept up the pressure, cutting off his air and possibly crushing his jugular. The scent of the older man's blood filled the car as pieces of glass dug into his skin As the limousine swerved to a stop, Kain had to grab hold of the handle above his head so he didn't accidentally crack his uncle's neck.

He hadn't meant to actually cause damage, but there was no time for regret. Before his opponent could even think to start using noble powers, Kain lit the ground on fire. Just enough for show.

He wasn't sure if he would even need it. Lord Aidou was dazed, his normally intelligent eyes dulling over as he scratched at the arm cutting off his air. Ignoring the gashes the man was digging through his sleeve and into his arm, Kain kept a fierce hold and counted down from ten. Backup should be arriving any second.

Now that the limousine had come to a complete stop, the driver's side door opened and slammed. The driver, another vampire, sprang out of the car yelling curses. "What the hell was that?"

The other vampire was inferior, nowhere near the power of a noble, but he was one of Lord Aidou's trusted servants. Kain knew. He'd looked into all of them. He was nothing if not prepared.

The servant caught sight of his master and froze. "Shit..."

Grinding his teeth from the force it took to hold his uncle down, Kain wondered if it would be possible to take down the other one without releasing Lord Aidou.

Then he heard the sweet hum of an engine. They couldn't have had better timing.

The servant turned to see who was coming. "What the..." It was all he managed to get out before the other car pulled up behind him. The black sedan screeched to a stop. Two figures got out. Kain kept his eyes on his captive as he listened to his allies struggle to contain the vampire servant.

Lord Aidou appeared to be losing consciousness, but the limpness in his arms and legs could be a ploy. Kain wasn't about to let down his guard in front of a vampire so notorious.

The sounds of the struggle outside the car ceased and a voice asked. "Do we kill him?"

That had been quick. Kain chanced a glance towards the servant. The vampire was on his knees on the asphalt, his hands bound, duct tape over his mouth. Execution style.

Jesus, the last thing he needed was more blood on his hands. The servant had seen him, but if he played his cards right then in the end it wouldn't matter.

"Take him out of earshot." His head tilted to the side as he thought about what that would be for the weaker vampire. "At least half a mile." He decided.

As the driver was dragged into the other car and driven off, Lord Aidou's eyes became alert with realization. Ah, a ploy after all. But at least the man's eyes still contained fear. Kain wouldn't be surprised if the distinguished vampire had never truely had his life held in another's hands.

"You know who that was?" Kain asked him.

With his air still cut off, Lord Aidou could only nod.

"Good." Now he had his attention. "I'm going to release you, and you and I are going to sit down and have a chat. As you said, I'm quite reasonable, but make a move, and the days of your pureblood will be numbered. Understand?"

By this time, Lord Aidou's cheeks had taken on a purplish hue, but he managed to jerk his chin against Kain's forearm, signaling he got the message.

Carefully, Kain lifted his weight and positioned himself on the opposite seat, watching as Lord Aidou hunched over, coughing and wheezing.

Kain kept his voice calm as he watched the other vampire struggle to regain his breath. "I want you to know that despite what I said, I'm not planning to kill any purebloods unless I have to. As much as I would like to see Kuran's end, I'm not out for vengeance." Lowering his voice, he reiterated his threat. "But if you don't cooperate, I might not have a choice."

It took several minutes for Lord Aidou's crushed throat to heal and regenerate, and when he could finally speak his voice was a mere rasp. "We should have killed you the second you deserted."

Unscathed, Kain said, "Probably."

Propping himself up against the seat, Lord Aidou no longer appeared to be anything aristocratic. His tie was crooked, his jacket torn. Wet blood shone like grease on his neck. His hand had been cut up when it went through the window. The minor injuries had healed but his cuff was stained red.

They would have to fix that. The man wouldn't be able to parade into a noble's benefit looking like he'd just walked out of a brawl at some local dive.

Having managed to compose himself, Lord Aidou let out a self-deriding chuckle that lacked even the slightest trace of humor. "I wouldn't consent to having you killed because I didn't want to be the one responsible for the death of my son's closest cousin. Can you believe that?"

Touching. "It does seem quite unlike you."

Kain had thought it odd when Lord Aidou had dropped his support from the faction, his reason being "the poor treatment of family and friends." But when Kaname had regained the noble family's support so quickly, Kain realized the man had done it simply to protect his own skin. It never hurt to remind your superiors of your worth, especially during times of strife.

Showing some manner of dignity, Lord Aidou attempted to talk down to him, "You can tell me what you want, but know that I'm not going to make this easy for you. Once Kaname finds out, you'll be finished." Although his shoulders were slumped in defeat, his eyes remained hard, unforgiving.

Kaname's eyes had been much the same at that meeting three months ago. Kain had felt them burning into his back as he'd left the room.

But he hadn't reciprocated the animosity. By that time, he'd already lost the anger, the jealousy.

To disappear, to forget - that had been what he'd wanted then. Calling himself a fool for spending a lifetime longing for something he could never have, he'd tried to let her go, tried to tell himself that it was out of his power. The amount of his life spent in Kaname's shadow, pathetically hoping to catch a glimpse of Ruka's smile, desperately longing for more than friendship - it had been a painful existence.

An eternity of unrequited love was no way to live.

But letting her go was beyond his abilities. After days in isolation, he'd come to the realization that, like a beating heart, there were some things he couldn't live without. The desire had been a part of him for so long that it had become entangled with his very soul. He knew nothing else, didn't even know who he was if she wasn't in his life.

Without Ruka, his name had no meaning.

A part of him despised her for being able to so easily undo him, but he couldn't change it. He couldn't change who he was, a vampire destined to be chained with a desperate and obsessive love.

Maybe he was hightailing it to his own death, but without her he was dead anyways. Now, he possessed the freeing yet destructive nature of a man with nothing to lose.

Hell, maybe Lord Aidou was right, maybe he had gone insane. Something had snapped when he found out what had been going on in that mansion while he'd been grieving.

But there was no time to brood over what had been given without his consent, so Kain buried the useless anger.

It was the past. He would make it the past.

"Now that you know I have allies, you can stop indulging in thoughts of killing me." Kain said now as he watched the other man silently plot his future demise. "With my death, they'll simply finish what I've started. Believe me when I say that things will go much better for you if I remain alive." He reminded himself that he needed to drill it into Lord Aidou that his threat wasn't idle. Unfortunately, talk wouldn't be enough, but soon he'd have the highest ranking noble eating out of the palm of his hand.

"As for what I want," He went on, keeping his voice level despite the anticipation that made his heart race. "Well, I believe attending this party and letting everyone know that I've spent the past few months as your honored guest would be a good start."

Frowning, Lord Aidou gave him a look of beligerent disbelief. "You can't expect us to walk in like this."

"No." Kain lifted the corner of his mouth in a grin. As much as his uncle had stroked his ego earlier that night, the man really didn't give him enough credit. "Your spare shirt and tie are on their way."

With that, he opened the door and stepped outside, quickly scanning the perimeter for anything that might be watching, supernatural or otherwise. An image of a nun indeed, he should have realized what that meant the second he'd seen it among the hunters.

Two white lights shone in the distance. The other limousine was exactly on time, identical to Lord Aidou's in every way. Nobody would suspect the very vehicle that Lord Aidou himself arrived in was in fact a trojan horse. It was almost too perfect.

Maybe he should have felt remorse for the trust he had shattered, the bridges he would destroy, the blood that would spill. But Kain no longer cared how many others he would have to burn at the stake to get what he wanted. He was through with patience. He was through asking. He wasn't going to stand outside the door and listen to another man take her.

It didn't matter if he had to be ruthless, if he had to use force, if he had to destroy the very foundation under Kaname Kuran's feet. This time he wouldn't wait for someone to hand him his just reward. Everyone else could go to hell, meanwhile he was going to take for himself what he wanted.

And what he wanted was Ruka Souen.

He soaked in the cool night air, feeling alive for the first time in months. Then he leaned over to peer into the interior of the limousine where his uncle was still busy wiping a bead of sweat from his slightly wrinkled brow.

"Get out and get cleaned up." Kain ordered curtly. "Our ride is here."

* * *

It wasn't until Ruka shut the door to Yuuki's room that the ramifications of what she had just agreed to set in. She had played the fool. Again. Would she never learn?

"I take it the mission didn't go as planned?"

Seiren, who had apparently been waiting for her outside Yuuki's room, stood at attention. Her silver eyes didn't miss a beat.

Had she heard their conversation?

No. That was impossible, Ruka assured herself. If nothing else had been gained from the past few months of hell, she still had her sharpened senses. She would have known if Seiren was standing outside the door listening in.

Striding past the other vampire, Ruka spoke over her shoulder. "Listen, Seiren, I'm going to need your help. We need to plant a rumor. Actually, we need to plant several."

Seiren kept pace behind her. If she had any suspicions she hid them well. "Do I look like the gossiping type?"

Stopping, Ruka turned to take in the bodyguard - a tuxedo, business-like hair, cold eyes that would scare off the bravest admirer.

"Good point." She agreed. "I'll have Hanabusa do it. He's still with Kaname, right?"

"Actually, his father arrived thirty minutes ago." Seiren corrected. "They're already in the ballroom with the others."

"Half an hour ago?" Ruka exclaimed.

Seiren gave her a look that seemed to question her intelligence. "Yes. You were in Yuuki's room for almost an hour."

Great. This was just great. Yuuki had taken her so off guard that she'd completely lost track of time, and in the meantime the benefit had already begun. By now, the reception would be packed with aristocrats who would pass judgment on any who didn't meet their high standards.

A lifetime ago, she could have easily gone out into the crowd, danced with a few gentlemen and donned a meek smile as she whispered a few falsehoods into the ears of vampire society's nosiest gossips. Now, she was shunned, an embarrassment to the public world.

"Alright, have Hanabusa meet me in the sitting room on the east wing. He can bring his father if he'd like." Lord Aidou would be on board with it. He'd made a large investment in the Kuran faction, and if nothing else, that man followed his money.

"About Hanabusa's father," Seiren started, "I think you should know that..."

"Wait. Scratch that." Ruka interrupted, her thoughts running a mile a minute. "There's no time. You'll have to get the message to Hanabusa for me."

"And what's the message?"

"Yuuki isn't coming."

Seiren's face deadpanned. "She isn't coming."

It was a bad sign when even Seiren showed a reaction.

"I don't have time to explain." Just this last night. She just had get through one last night of this. "Hanabusa can tell them she's overseas re-establishing ties with distant pureblood relatives. He can tell them she has taken a mission to negotiate another noble family under the faction. Tell them anything, I don't care, just keep any insinuations of discord out of their mouths."

Because those insinuations would be the truth.

"And what of Kaname-sama?"

"I'll deal with him." Ruka said with more confidence than she felt, and turned in the direction of Kaname's chambers.

Seiren stopped her. "There's something else you should know."

Bending her head to pinch the bridge of her nose, Ruka took in a shaky breath. She didn't want to let on just how nervous she was about being in a room alone with Kaname, especially in front of Seiren.

"Please don't tell me something else has gone wrong." she said, casing her voice in irritation.

Several seconds of silence passed as Seiren seemed to think it over. She opened her mouth and then closed it. It was odd to see the normally unimpressible vampire so unsure of herself. "Nevermind. Just take this." She said finally, and thrust her hand forward, lifting a glass of wine filled with red liquid. "You'll need it."

Ruka stared at the glass warily. "Is that what I think it is?"

"No. It's the beverage we're serving for refreshment. A simple mix of blood and liqueor."

_A __simple __mix __of __blood __and __liqueor__._ Ruka couldn't imagine ever drinking the stuff again, but nevertheless she took it. "Thank you." she replied hesitantly.

"Drink it slowly." Seiren instructed before disappearing in the direction of the party.

Finally alone, Ruka felt the world coming down on her shoulders. Kaname. She had to speak with Kaname.

_What __makes __you __think __he __trusts __me__? _She'd asked Yuuki moments ago.

_It __doesn__'__t __matter__. __He __can__'__t __read __minds __unless __he __drinks __blood __and __he __wouldn__'__t __drink __yours__._

Apparently, no one had ever informed Yuuki of just how untrue that was. Ruka hadn't had the heart to inform the young princess of that sordid detail, which was why she found herself in this position.

She should feel honored that Yuuki had placed so much trust in her, but it didn't ease her sweating palms. Maybe Kaname couldn't read minds, but he could read people. With the eyes of a hawk, he could catch the slightest inconsistency, the smallest slip.

There was no away around it. Mistakes would be fatal. So she would simply have to make sure she didn't make any.

Ignoring her instincts to run in the opposite direction, Ruka made her way towards Kaname's upstairs chambers. She took the back stairway, then crossed a balcony that overlooked the festivities. Glancing over the railing, she caught site of some of the highest ranking vampires in the world - celebrities, politicians and the like. The orchestra was playing an uplifting tune. The chandelier hung in a grand display of crystal and sparkling light.

She wanted none of it. Attending these functions would never be the same without Akatsuki. The thought gave her heart a sharp twist.

One of the nobles below looked up towards the balcony, and Ruka ducked into the shadows, reminding herself not to lose focus. Taking this short cut ran the risk of exposure, but the sooner she got this over with the better. Lifting her skirt in one hand, trying not to spill the contents of the glass in the other, she rushed out of view.

Opening another doorway, she stepped into the long hallway that lead to the back rooms. At first, she'd thought it was empty.

"Going somewhere?"

Ruka stopped dead in her tracks, the glass nearly slipping from her fingertips. It came from behind her. That voice...

Her senses branched out, an attempt to remind herself that she was alive. A breeze fluttered over her shoulders; a tingle ran up her spine. The light in the hallway flickered once, causing shadows to dance across the floral carpet. Vines and roses seemed to move in the dim light.

"And here I thought I'd find you downstairs." Again, he spoke, his voice as deep and relaxed as she remembered.

Reality came slowly, a prolonged and painful transition. This wasn't a dream, but her heart had stopped and wouldn't start beating. She didn't dare take a breath.

"Akatsuki..." Her voice came out strained, somewhere between deep fear and a plea.

She heard the sounds of his footsteps, felt him move behind her. A masculine arm reached around her torso.

The warm fabric of his jacket brushed her bare shoulder, making her shiver.

Steady fingers took the glass from her hand. "I never thought I'd see you drinking this again."

Slightly dizzy, she closed her eyes, forcing herself to take in a deep breath. The memories she'd craved for so long returned the instant she took in his scent. At one time she would have called it a mix of aftershave and pine, but she could no longer describe it. It was the scent of safety, of comfort. Of home.

Every bone in her body ached with the urge to turn around and throw herself into his arms.

"What are you doing here?" It took all of her concentration to keep her voice steady. _Just __keep __it __together__, _she told herself.

"Isn't it obvious?"

No. No, it was not. "You've been gone for three months." She whispered, wondering if he had any understanding of the anguish underlying those words.

"I know how long it's been." he said softly. He was standing too close. She could hear his even breaths, his heartbeat.

"So, why come back now?" Her voice had risen ever so slightly. If only she could have been more prepared.

He was silent for the longest time, and she envisioned him turning around, walking away with that same steady gait that had announced his indifference to hunters and vampires alike, when not even crying out his name had brought him back. She'd watched his back as he'd left and had felt a part of her go with him, leaving her crippled with loss.

But there was no sound of footsteps, no change in the air. Instead, she felt her hair move over her shoulder, and then his hand on her neck - just one slow finger, the slight coarseness of his knuckle, trailing ever so lightly over her skin. The hairs of her neck stood on end, as she bit back a moan of longing. Every part of her body, her very being, attuned itself to nothing else but that small touch.

"Your hair..that dress..." He stopped himself, then let out a chuckle. "I had a speech prepared but one look at you and I sound like an idiot."

His hand fell lower, his fingertips running slowly along her collar bone. "This dress is stunning." he said as if stating a fact.

"Why are you here, Akatsuki?" She forced her voice to remain even, but her mind was spinning in circles.

"I want you to come with me." he said, laying a hand over her shoulder, gentle but firm. "It's not safe here."

It was so tempting...

Ruka felt as if she was overlooking a cliff, one slip of her control and she would fall. Her heart began to pound, beating a rhythm of longing so intense that it almost seemed easier to jump over the edge. But she couldn't give in to the temptation. The risks were too great, and if there was one thing she'd learned in the past three months, it was that no one was standing at the bottom, waiting to catch her.

But it hurt, standing here, trying to stay strong. Oh, how it hurt.

And then his words came back to her.

_It__'__s __not __safe __here__._

Lord, what was he planning?

Her conversation with Yuuki was still fresh in her mind.

_I __think__...__no__, __I __know __that __the __Hunter __Association __has __been __hiding __him__. _Yuuki had said.

Ruka's first reaction had been fear for him. _Oh __God__, __do __you __think __they__'__re __torturing __him__?_

_No__, __it__'__s __not __like __that__. __They__'__ve __been __meeting __with __him__, __but __I __don__'__t __know __what __for__. __Kaname __must __know __of __it__, __but __he __hasn__'__t __said __anything__. _Yuuki had seemed so confident when she said, _The __Hunter __Association __is __planning __something __and __Kain__-__senpai __is __helping __them__._

Ruka's fear only worsened. God help her. Yuuki had been speaking the truth.

"The sooner you come with me the better." Kain was saying, "There's going to be a..."

"Stop." she cut him off. "Just stop talking."

After discovering so many secrets, so many of the things Akatsuki hadn't told her, for the first time Ruka found herself not wanting to know. Deception had never been one of her talents, but she _would_ have to lie for him. Before, a mistake would have meant her own doom. Now, it could mean his as well.

She did not want him telling her anything. She wouldn't even look at him.

"Let go of me." she commanded forcefully, her voice raw with the difficulty of enunciating those four words.

His grip tightened.

Just when she thought she might have to scream to get him to release her, she was saved by the sound of an opening door.

Her heart leapt to her throat. Did anyone else know he was here?

His grip didn't loosen. Rather, he took her by surprise. With a sharp tug, he pulled her back against him. One strong arm wrapped across her shoulders, as he pressed her back against every hard edge and muscled curve of his chest. Heat radiated from his body at every place they touched. Raw desire lashed through her, forcing Ruka to bite her lip in a desperate attempt to fight the craving.

"Don't go anywhere tonight." He whispered, his breath hot against her ear. "I'll be coming back for you soon."

And then he left her.

Suddenly devoid of his warm presence, Ruka felt a swift sense of loss. Even though she had determined not to look at him, she found herself turning around, her eyes searching for him in the darkness.

But he had disappeared.

Hearing approaching footsteps, she used her keen senses to determine who was coming. And when realization hit her, she desperately tried to compose herself.

But she hadn't been given nearly enough time.

A shadow moved next to the wall, before Kaname turned the corner. "Did you have a good chat with him, Ruka?" Dark eyes met hers knowingly. "Tell me everything."

* * *

**lol, Akatsuki is a ninja! **

**...**

**haha, sorry if you found that ending cheesy. Hopefully you'll like the next one better. ****And is anybody still reading the manga? Ahhhh god it's killing me! I just had to add Hanabusa's dad into this story...**

**Anyways, let me know all your likes and dislikes or whatever you feel like sharing. I welcome all of your comments.**


	25. A Bitter Pill to Swallow

**So again, I was originally going to have a really long chapter, but it's been split in half, as the second part still needs some work.**

**And I know you're all probably getting sick of hearing this, but you have my deepest apologies for the long wait. These scenes have been running through my imagination for years, and when I finally got the chance to write them, they became ridiculously important to me. So thank you so much for your patience, your reviews and pm's. **

**But hey, the good news is that the next chapter is almost done! So you will be seeing an update from me within the next couple of weeks.**

**And before I forget, if you like this story, or just feel like reading a really great oneshot:**

** GO READ THE TWO MINUTE RULE, by WittlessFool!**

**It's an adorable and well-written short story based off of the little anecdote in chapter 2 of this one. ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight. It owns me.**

* * *

_Tell me everything._

Tall, looming over her in the dark, Kaname awaited her confession.

Feeling small and insignificant, Ruka found herself consumed with the inane idea that she could be swallowed by the mere passing of his shadow.

In an instant Kain had disappeared, but she could still feel the warmth of his embrace. His earthy scent still lingered in the air.

Now, alone and faced with Kaname's daunting presence, she wished she had gone with him.

"Kaname-sama..I.." Shakily, she pushed a wayward strand of hair away from her face, knowing she appeared every bit as disheveled as she felt. "This isn't what it looks like."

"Ah, such a cliché response." Kaname replied in a strangely melodious tone. "Do I seem the scorned lover in this act?"

"What? Of course not." _Of all the... _

"Has he been visiting you these past months?" His features were difficult to make out in the dim light, but his voice carried smoothly. "Perhaps when the rest of the house is asleep? Has he been sneaking in through the window of your room?"

Still off balance from the sharp turn of events, it took Ruka longer than it should have to realize Kaname was toying with her. He watched her gravely. His arms were folded as if to show disappointment, but the rich tone of his voice gave him away.

Ruka had seen him do this to others, to Aidou especially, but he'd never done it to her. With her, he'd always remained somber, treating her as though her presence disturbed him. In the past, Ruka had considered it as further evidence of his dislike of her. Now, under the scrutiny of his ominous gaze, she found it unsettling.

She managed a steady reply. "No, to all of it."

"No?" He sounded doubtful as he idly straightened the cuff of his sleeve. "Yet here I feel that I've interrupted an intimate moment between the two of you."

Feeling heat flush her cheeks, Ruka averted her eyes. "I was just...surprised to see him. That's all."

"Oh, is that all?" Lifting his head to watch her, he stepped into the light. A flicker revealed black eyes. There was no amusement there.

"Yes..." Her voice trailed off.

"Ruka," her name passed his lips like a term of endearment.

It was not comforting.

Taking another step closer, his voice lowered ominously. "It is not wise to hide things from me."

Grateful that she wouldn't have to lie when it came to this subject, Ruka found her voice. "He only said that he wanted me to go with him. He didn't say where."

"And did he tell you his purpose here?"

"No he didn't, and I didn't ask." She added stubbornly.

As if struck with a sudden headache, Kaname pressed two fingers against his temple. "Still, you wish to protect him after all he's put you through."

More than that. She would give her life for him.

"I'm being nothing but honest with you, Kaname-sama." she insisted. "Surely you can see that."

For a long moment, he remained silent. Afraid that she might lose her courage if she looked straight at him, Ruka stared at the buttons of his silk shirt. He was dressed down for the occasion, but then again, Kaname could attend a noble gathering in pajamas and slippers, and nobody would question him.

In the past few months, she should have become accustomed to being near him. But it had become more and more tense with each encounter. It wasn't that what happened had put distance between them. It was the fact that he'd become far too close.

"Just tell me one thing." His voice was so low that she wouldn't have heard it had he not been standing so near.

Surprised by the sudden seriousness of his tone, Ruka glanced up to find his face a mere inches from hers.

Sucking in a sharp breath, she opened her mouth to speak. "I don't..."

"Has he fed you?" He interrupted, leaning in to give her his ear as if waiting to hear a secret. Strands of dark glossy hair moved against his cheek with each of her short breaths. His eyes were looking at some point just behind her shoulder.

He was smelling her. Inspecting her, really. But why the intensity? He could have taken in her scent several feet away just as easily as he could this close. Was he surprised that she didn't smell like blood? Did it even matter?

Suddenly, she had the overwhelming urge to put both hands on his chest and shove him. It felt like insects were crawling over her skin. She imagined the vines of the floral carpet creeping up over her legs, binding her in place.

"No. We didn't...do that." Her voice came out strained.

Her answer didn't relax him. "How long has it been?"

"Since what?"

"Since you've fed."

She couldn't stop herself from taking a step back then, revealing just how much his question unsettled her. Her heart sank to her stomach, her throat clenching as she fought to control the quick onslaught of panic.

He couldn't ask her this. Not now. Not after she'd just seen Akatsuki. He couldn't possibly be that cruel.

Desperate, Ruka found herself blurting out, "Yuuki-sama has decided not to come tonight."

Suddenly, Kaname's expression transformed from one of idle amusement to something much darker.

Oh dear, she really needed to think things through before she opened her mouth.

"Very well." He straightened to his full height, his jaw hardening. "You may have it your way tonight."

Turning, he strolled ahead and spoke over his shoulder to give a command, "Accompany me."

Stunned, Ruka stared at his back for several seconds before remembering to fall into place behind him. His clothing had the faint scent of smoke, as if he had been standing near a fireplace. He'd been brooding again, most likely. Depressing thoughts crept his mind incessantly. She was sick of being inside his head.

But even as she followed him, Ruka couldn't help but wonder his purpose in asking:

_How long has it been since you've fed?_

And she wondered if anything would have changed if she had answered him.

_It's been four days since I last drank your blood._

_Kaname._

* * *

"It's late. He isn't coming. _He knows._" The young man dressed as a servant gripped the serving tray so hard the crystal glasses wobbled. He was as white as a ghost and smelled of sweat.

Kain sighed, he'd been under the impression they'd gotten only the best for this job. "He's coming." He spoke under his breath as he took one of the offered refreshments. "The trap has been laid out and he'll fall for it."

The human nodded shakily, not appearing reassured in the slightest.

In a sarcastic tone, Kain added. "Please tell me you're not the one serving him."

"No, that's Jenks."

Thank God, or whoever, for small favors.

"I was told to let you know they're ready for you." The boy added in a whisper that any vampire that was listening in could have heard. Even in a ballroom this large.

Kain knew that everything had to go perfectly, but hell, a part of him just wanted to get this over with.

Eying the glass of liqueur in his hand, Kain asked. "This drinkable?"

"Yes."

Downing the contents, Kain placed his empty glass back on the tray. "Try not to get eaten." He mumbled, before turning to leave the "servant" to his own devices. He'd bet his last dollar that the kid would be somebody's dinner before the end of the night.

Ah well, all's fair in love and war, or so they said.

Which made him think about Ruka. Upstairs.

With Kaname...

Cutting a line through the dance floor, he sidestepped gentlemens' feet as swishing skirts brushed his ankles. The sour scent of alcohol came from their breaths, the air littered with sweet perfumes and the distant odor of blood.

All of his careful calculations had gone down the drain the second he'd gone up to see her. It had been much too soon. Even at the time, he'd known he should have waited. There had been no valid reason for it. It hadn't been part of the plan.

But his eyes had been starving to see her in person. He'd been shaking with the need to feel her silky hair thread through his fingers. He'd needed to see that she was alright, to know that she hadn't broken under Kaname's harsh rule.

And she hadn't even looked at him. As if _he_ was the one who had betrayed them, as if it had been _his _decision for her to throw herself at the pureblood like a love-ridden fool.

Yes, this was guerrilla warfare. Kain wanted to see Kaname suffer. If he could, he would fucking kill him.

Once he made it away from the bulk of the crowd, Kain managed to stick to the shadows - a difficult task at his height. From the corner of the room he scanned the sea of nobles.

Lord Aidou was holding up his end of the deal. The aristocrat was conversing with one of the heads of the Touya family. They were undoubtedly droning on about business investments which simply boiled down to schemes to make more money. Being that his uncle was normally sturdy and sober, Kain doubted that anyone noticed the way Lord Aidou's fist was strangling the stem of his glass.

Escaping from the scene, Kain slipped through the hidden door unnoticed. Sure, he had been one of the main topics of gossip that evening, but nobles were quick to outcast those that didn't keep up appearances in social circles. Luckily, his lowered status had made it much easier to maneuver tonight. And of course, the fact that Lord Aidou had told everyone that Kain had been spending these past months as an honored guest of the Aidou family, immediately absolved him of any possible sin.

Down the maze of darkened hallways, he found the room that was awaiting his arrival. They'd managed to take out half of the guards, picking them off one by one. Which meant the bulky guard in front of this door was one of their own.

So far it had gone smoothly, but Seiren was going to be a problem. One that Kain sincerely hoped wouldn't require drastic measures. Even so, hoping that she would be among the vampires Kaname sent after Yuuki would have been an oversight.

"How'd it go?" Kain asked as he approached the "guard."

"Came straight here just like you said he would. Almost exactly to the minute." He sounded impressed. "How did you know?"

With a faint smirk on his lips, Kain said "He can be a loose cannon, but in some things he's completely predictable."

The guard shrugged, "Well, we had no problems. They're getting it cleaned up now."

Hoping that "getting it cleaned up" didn't imply scrubbing blood off the floor, Kain headed inside.

He'd always found it odd that there were guest rooms on the main floor, but Aidou certainly had no problem finding a use for them.

This time, it was one of the richer family's daughters. Her diamond necklace hung limply to the side, her dark hair tangled over her face. There were three people working the room - rearranging the sofa and picking up clothes that were haphazardly strewn about the floor. The two serving carts were going to be used to move the happy couple upstairs.

"They didn't even see us coming." The woman who was extracting a dart from Aidou's neck informed him. She was the leader of this team.

Glancing at his cousin, Kain couldn't help but let out a small smile. Even with lipstick on his collar and half of his shirt buttons undone, Aidou still managed to look like an innocent as he lay passed out on the sofa.

"Lucky for you, he was distracted." Kain pointed out.

"I still don't see why we don't just set them up here." She argued. "Two lovebirds sprawled in a side room... Nobody would suspect a thing."

"Yes, but we all know that at some point tonight, things are going to get ugly." Kain said, hiding his concern. He sincerely hoped that the body count would remain at zero. "Two hours from now, who knows what this place is going to look like."

"But this place is huge. There are thousands of rooms just like this one"

"Better to be safe than sorry." When she still looked doubtful, Kain pointed to his cousin's sleeping form. "That one is the Aidou heir. We lose him and you guys get nothing."

It appeared to be all the motivation they needed, because the woman immediately began barking orders to her men. "One of you help me lift this one up. Lets get this done quickly before any of the leeches come snooping around." Wincing, she gave Kain an apologetic glance. "No offense."

"None taken." He'd become accustomed to their slander of his race over the past months. It was just the hunters' way of dealing with their natural fear of vampires.

Seeing that things were going smoothly, Kain turned to leave them to their work.

But the door opened before he could reach it. Another hunter stumbled in, stinking of blood and fear. The guard was trying to rush him inside so he could shut the door, but the sweating human fell to his knees.

"A monster.." The shaking hunter whispered, staring off at nothing. His face was white with shock as he pressed a hand over a bleeding wound on his side. Blood soaked the front of his shirt, oozing to the floor by his knee.

Immediately kneeling to grab the human by the shoulders, Kain ordered. "Tell me what happened. How many did we lose." Goddammit, this wasn't supposed to happen.

Eyes rolling to the back of his head, the hunter continued to mumble meaninglessly, and Kain just barely managed to catch a few words before he found himself holding up nothing more than a limp body.

Something about w_hite hair_ and _monster._

Seiren.

He hadn't meant for it to go like this, but he had the sinking feeling that this was going to get very ugly, very fast.

* * *

It wasn't until they reached the double doors of the foyer that Ruka understood what Kaname had meant by asking her to accompany him.

But she still hoped she was wrong. "Shall I await you in the meeting hall?" She asked.

Stopping, Kaname turned to look down at her. "In light of recent events, I feel it prudent that you remain at my side." He said, easily matching her formal tone. "For safety reasons, of course."

Before she could come up with a way to respectfully disagree, someone called out from behind them.

"Kaname-sama!" The vampire moved quickly, coming from out of nowhere to kneel at his feet. "There is an urgent matter of which I must speak with you."

Out of breath, her hair mussed and her clothing ripped in several places, Seiren looked as if she had just returned from a vicious fight. Ruka stared in horror at the blood dripping from her hands.

None of it was Seiren's. In fact, it smelled like it came from a human...

"Rise." Kaname commanded, his voice carrying with authority. "Speak freely."

Standing, Seiren gave a worried look in Ruka's direction, as if she thought it unwise to reveal anything in her presence. Nevertheless, she obeyed her leader.

"We have been infiltrated by hunters." she stated. "While scanning the perimeters one of their teams attempted to take me out. I was able to eliminate most of them but I was outnumbered and one was able to escape." She paused to catch her breath, but her voice remained stone cold. "As many of our forces have been dispatched..." another glance at Ruka, "...elsewhere. There is reason to suspect that both the grounds and interior have been compromised."

Kaname grew quiet, eerily so. Gazing at some point in the distance, his brows drew together as if in concentration. With a patience that was at odds with the urgency of the situation, Seiren calmly awaited his response.

Realizing that Kaname was using his pureblood abilities to look in on some far off place, Ruka wondered if Seiren also knew of his powers. Or perhaps the quiet bodyguard was simply accustomed to their pureblood's odd behavior.

But none of that mattered. Akatsuki's presence tonight and this incident was no coincidence. It couldn't be.

Ruka felt as if she was being sucked in by a black hole. Oh god, if Akatsuki was the one behind this, Kaname would kill him. Of that there was no doubt in her mind. She couldn't stay here. She needed to find him. Suddenly, nothing else mattered.

Her mind racing, her heart hammering in fear, Ruka felt the compelling urge to flee. Unconscious of her own movement, she took a step backwards.

Like a hawk, Seiren's sharp silver eyes snapped to hers. They seemed to say, _Take one more step and it will be your last._

Without changing the direction of his gaze Kaname reached one hand behind him, circling icy fingers around her wrist. Ruka felt a chill go through her bones. She fought back a helpless cry as sheer panic overcame her.

"You will keep this situation monitored." He calmly addressed Seiren, "Do not kill. Do not attack unless they attack first or threaten the safety of our guests. You are free to subdue and restrain those that you can, but do not draw attention to your actions. Keep this quiet."

Eyes widening, Seiren took a step towards Kaname. "Sir, I believe the best course of action would be to move you to another location. We can secure your safety and then retrieve the princess."

With a wave of his hand, Kaname dismissed the idea. "Your concern is appreciated but unnecessary." He said, then tugged at Ruka's arm until she was forced to take a step closer. "I have all the protection I need."

Unable to hold it in, Ruka heard herself gasp, but Seiren ignored the sound. "And what shall we do about Kain-san?"

His eyes going black, Kaname's voice lowered, "It appears that my former advisor is attempting to dig his own grave."

"You mustn't hurt him!" Ruka couldn't stop herself from crying out, even while knowing it was hopeless. "I know how it seems, but he can't be the one behind this. He simply wouldn't!"

Seiren glared at her. "They used an entrance that only your closest followers would know about, Kaname-sama."

Trapped between a lethal assassin and the most powerful pureblood known to existence, Ruka found herself a captive. She didn't consider herself a weakling but even in her current state of panic, she wasn't delusional. Either one of them alone could easily overpower her. She couldn't flee, and fighting would get her nowhere.

Refusing to move, Ruka felt herself falling to her knees, her voice coming out strong as determination fueled her to the core. "I will not become an accomplice to his death." She declared. "You can either spare his life or slay me here and now. I'll not follow you one step further, Kaname!"

In a flash, Seiren was standing over her, and Ruka felt the cold harsh steel of a dagger against her throat. A well-trained assassin, Seiren held herself still. "She has betrayed you! If it is your wish, I will make it happen, Kaname-sama."

They said that right before your death, your life flashed before your eyes, but all Ruka could think was, _Akatsuki, please survive this night. Please stay alive._

"Enough!" Kaname bellowed in a voice that seemed to move the very walls. It was as if he had radiated an electric current, and Ruka instinctively closed her eyes against an invisible force that shoved its way through her system.

Instantly, the dagger was gone from her neck, and Ruka opened her eyes to find Seiren staggering back from the force of some unseen blow.

Looking up at Kaname, Ruka found him unlike anything she had ever seen before. His eyes were red, blazing brightly as if lit with fire. The air around him became a dark cloud, his skin a white but translucent glow.

Being near him made it difficult to breath, and each time she tried to take air into her lungs, she only drew in a thick mist. She found herself unable to move, yet barely able to keep herself from cowering in fear.

Seiren had not been so lucky. Visibly shaking, silver eyes the size of saucers, she stared up at Kaname as if she was seeing the grim reaper. "K-Kaname-sama," she stammered, "I only wanted to..."

"You will do as I have asked and nothing more." His voice was a whisper, but Ruka felt it as if it was reverberating off the insides of her skull.

Somewhere off in the distance, a part of her knew that this was what purebloods were truly capable of. This was that formidable power that kept all other vampires bowing at their feet.

They could control any lesser vampire, become the master of their minds. With a mere thought, Kaname would be capable of turning them all into nothing more than drooling slaves. It was the sole power he had sworn to never use against them.

Yet here she was, unable to even lift a finger. She tried to move her head, to take a breath, but she no longer had even that much control.

At some point, her mind must have acknowledged that the order was meant for Seiren. Because as the white haired vampire walked away, mechanically doing his bidding, the building pressure inside her head began to ease. She closed her eyes then opened them again, relief washing over her at being able to control even that small movement.

But she would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't scared out of her mind.

Kaname was quiet for a long time. Like a statue, he stood, his eyes closed, his cheeks pale, his expression a mask. The smoke screen around him began to dissipate.

Ruka was unable to take her eyes off of him. His skin was gradually returning to normal, the glow fading along with the strange dark aura that had surrounded him. When he opened his eyes, she startled, but they were back to their normal dark color. Even the familiar sadness had returned.

Feeling a chill run through her arm, Ruka noticed that he still had his hand wrapped around her wrist. He had been holding it the entire time.

"It appears that even Seiren has a rebellious streak." Now relaxed, he spoke as if they were having an idle conversation. "I admit, I was not prepared for it."

Speechless, Ruka could only stare at him. She no longer knew what to think of his actions.

"But it appears that you are much stronger than she." He tilted his head to the side as if viewing her from a new angle. "How interesting..."

How could he act like this after what had just occurred? If she didn't know better, she would think that the pureblood she had been following her entire life was actually insane.

They needed to address the matter at hand, but to her horror, Ruka found herself unable to speak. She had maintained control over her thoughts, but her body was another matter.

"Walk with me, and I will consider your plea for his life." He said, giving her hand a slight tug to lift her to her feet.

Her knees felt week, and Ruka was certain her legs were shaking underneath her gown, but as if in a trance she found herself able to put one foot in front of the other. His long fingers slid from her wrist, wrapping around her hand in the way a gentlemen would lead a lady.

The large double doors seemed to magically open on their own, and as they stepped onto the grand stairway, they were bathed in the golden light of the ballroom. From here the crowded nobles below were a collage iridescent colors and glittering jewels. A few noticed their arrival and turned to stare.

The announcer at the top of the staircase saw them enter and puffed out his chest, "Entering the hall: First of the Kuran line, the pureblood Kaname," he called out and the room silenced, all heads turning to face them. "At his side stands Ruka S-..." he stuttered to a stop, then looked at her in a panic, at a loss for what to say.

"Of the Kuran faction." Kaname supplied.

"Thank you, sir." The announcer whispered, then cleared his throat before shouting, "At his side stands Ruka of the Kuran faction!"

There were several gasps and Ruka was sure that if she had been standing amongst them, she would have seen their mouths gaping open.

God, how had she ended up in this position? Walking in with Kaname like this - the things it would imply! He couldn't have possibly wanted this, even if it was only a means to use her as some sort of shield.

As they took their first few steps down the staircase, Kaname spoke in a voice that was for her ears alone. "The relationships among purebloods are often beyond a noble's understanding."

Ruka found herself lifting her skirt in one hand the way she had been trained to since childhood, taking one step at a time, matching his pace.

All the while, Kaname continued speaking. "Our lives last an eternity. Yours are but the blink of an eye." He gave a bow of his head to one of the head noble families, his voice low and secretive. "In the endless sea of time, our parents become allies. Aunts and uncles become enemies. Siblings are often lovers."

Like a puppet, Ruka felt herself going through the motions of formality. She kept her chin raised. Her posture aligned itself in a perfect perpendicular angle to the floor. She imagined herself pacing in ladylike steps across her mother's sitting room, listening to the tap of a ruler, books balanced on top of her head.

"And so, those that we allow to be close, become a dear family." Kaname scanned the crowds as he spoke to her. "Seiren is my stern yet over-protective mother. Aidou is the grandchild I have shamelessly spoiled."

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Kaname stepped ahead of her, then turned to give her a graceful bow. Ruka felt her head lower meekly, her knees bending in a deep curtsy. As she rose, he said. "Kain is the brother that has betrayed me."

Again, he offered his hand and as the guests watched and scrutinized her every movement, Ruka was forced to take it.

"But you are different." He went on, his voice was an odd lilting melody, both warm and disturbing. "You are my creation, my precious daughter."

Now that they were only a few feet away from the crowd, Ruka noticed that none of the other nobles were looking at him. Although his voice carried smoothly, somehow he was speaking so only she could hear him.

Frightened, wanting nothing more than to turn and run, Ruka felt her feet move underneath her, taking the last few steps to the main floor. A servant kneeled before them, offering a tray upon which sat two crystal glasses - one was for Kaname, the other had been originally intended for the pureblood princess.

As was customary, they would drink before the noble vultures would descend upon them. But this time, there was no pureblood princess to admire and adorn with compliments. In fact, this entire evening had become an alternate reality, and Ruka couldn't even guess at how the nobles would react to her stepping in to take Yuuki's place.

Pulling her closer, Kaname spoke confidentially, "A daughter is the sparkle of her father's eye. He wants to be her sole provider. He wants to be the one to solve all of her problems, to take away her fears." There was a brief flash in his eyes. "And he despises those who attempt to steal her heart. There are good men in the world, but none are good enough for her."

Knowing she was supposed to take a glass, Ruka tried to move her hand but Kaname's grip tightened.

Reaching across them, he lifted his own glass, then held it between them. "If you didn't matter to me..." He paused to give the glass in his hand a meaningful glance. "If I was truly heartless, I would give this to you."

In a daze, Ruka's eyes fell to the red liquid. To her, it signified an ominous turn of events, a warning.

"It is intended for me, you must realize." As if completely unaware of the turmoil she was experiencing, Kaname swirled the contents of his glass and sighed. "If I forced you to drink it, then it would surely kill you."

Confused, unsure if she was still herself or if Kaname had been the one controlling all of her movements up until now, Ruka tried speaking.

But her lips wouldn't move.

"This would all end. My enemies would fall back, and I would stand the victor. It would be too easy..." Then he leaned in to whisper. "He's watching, you know. He knows this to be true."

He paused, and Ruka's heart began to pound. Again she tried to speak, tried to scream, but all that came out was a wheeze. Feeling like she was slowly suffocating, Ruka looked up to find Kaname watching her with a fierce concentration, as if it was taking everything in him to bind her to his will.

"But alas, I have made a horrible father." He continued, as if he hadn't just threatened her life. "I have hurt you in a most grave manner. I cast you away, used your strength to lure my enemies."

Someone was shouting behind her, but their words were muffled as if they were coming from miles away. She wanted to turn her head, to see what was happening around her, but she found herself captured by Kaname's haunting gaze.

With his face a mere inch away from hers, he said, "So, although you don't owe me any favors, I want you to deliver a message."

His expression changed into one of determination and his hand moved to grab her wrist in a vice-like grip. With a yank, he forced her closer, until their hands were pressed between them. To the crowd, it would have seemed like a lover's embrace.

But the crowd couldn't see the darkness of his eyes, the forceful way he was squeezing her wrist. And because he was using the powerful abilities that only a pureblood could possess, they couldn't hear when he spoke to her harshly.

"Tell him that had it not been for you, this night would have ended differently. He may have outsmarted me this night, but if I had desired it, I would have had his head." He stopped suddenly, his eyes closing as if in defeat. "Tell him I did this for you."

And with those final words, he straightened, bringing the glass to his lips. Throwing his head back, he drank deeply, consuming the entire contents, one gulp at a time.

When the glass was empty, his fingers grew limp. His eyelids lowered, and her wrist was released from his grasp. The glass slipped from his hand, shattering in an array of sparkling crystals on the marble floor.

Instantly snapping out of her hypnosis, Ruka felt like she'd just been slapped. In a rush, her head cleared, and a chill spiked through her. It was as if she had been surrounded by a bubble, and when Kaname let go of her, it popped. Suddenly, she could hear everything around her, and the music and murmuring of the crowd blasted in her ears.

Kaname staggered backwards, his head slightly swaying to the side, then collapsed to the floor.

All chaos broke loose.

Nobles rushed them in a stampede. There was a flash of silver as the servant who had brought the glasses pulled a gun out from under the tray. A woman screamed.

Ruka heard shots go off, saw red out of the corner of her eye, but was unable to see anything else before she was hit by what felt like a brick wall.

It all seemed to happen at the same time. With dizzying speed, she was lifted off the floor. Something black was forced over her head, arms as hard as steel wrapped around her.

She heard someone yelling above the crowd. "Where's the Souen girl? Don't let her escape! She must be questioned. She must be..."

A shot rang out and the voice was cut off, overwhelmed by the roar of the crowd.

As if a thousand needles laced with adrenaline pierced her skin, Ruka panicked. Using every ounce of strength she possessed, she struggled against whoever was holding her. She needed to get away! Oh god, they were going to kill her!

Kicking her legs, she elbowed her captor in the chest as hard as she could, hearing him grunt in pain. His arms loosened for a second, and she tried to use the opportunity to get away, but whoever was holding her was much too strong.

"Stop. It's me." He whispered, his voice strained. "Damn it, I didn't know you could hit so hard. I think you might have broken a rib."

In shock, Ruka went still in his arms, then heard herself let out a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh. If she hadn't been in such a panic she would have recognized his scent earlier. Now, she turned her face into his chest, gripped his shirt as tightly as she could, and breathed in his wonderful aroma.

"Oh Akatsuki," She whispered his name in searing relief. "You're alive. Thank God."

Although she still couldn't see him, she felt him pull her closer. It was then she realized that the black cloth covering her face was actually his jacket. They were moving quickly, the sounds of the crowded ballroom growing farther and farther in the distance.

From under Kain's jacket, she couldn't see where they were going, but the lighting changed slightly. Eventually she heard a door open and shut.

He gently set her on her feet, lifting his jacked to rest it on her shoulders.

Ruka had hoped to be able to see him, but the room they were in was pitch black. Disoriented, she found herself asking, "Did I really crack one of your ribs?"

"It's already healing." He said as if it was nothing, turning to bolt the door shut behind them.

Noticing that she had lost one of her shoes in the chaos of their escape, Ruka bent down to remove the remaining stiletto as she took in her surroundings. She quickly realized she was in a part of the mansion that she had never seen before. It was a long hallway that seemed to to lead to nothing but more darkness. The ceiling was low. The walls were solid cement. The floor was cold against her bare feet.

"Where is this exactly?" She asked, trying to draw a map of the main floor of the mansion in her mind. They couldn't have gone far, and it hadn't felt like he'd gone up or down any stairways.

"We have to keep moving." He replied curtly, not answering her question.

Taking her hand, he lead her down the hallway at a brisk pace. She had to jog a few steps here and there to keep up with him, holding her skirt in one hand to keep herself from tripping. It was eerily quiet, with only the sound of their heavy breathing and footsteps echoing in the dark.

It didn't really surprise her to learn that the mansion had secret passageways. She'd always suspected that there was one that lead to the basement as a means for Yuuki to escape in an emergency. The fact that Kain knew about this place shouldn't have surprised her either. But for some reason, it made her feel uncomfortable. It was yet another secret. Something to add to the list of things she didn't know about him.

But her own secrets were now so much worse...

Ruka's heart sank. Once he found out where her sustenance for the past few months had come from, she would lose him again.

But there was no use thinking about this now. They needed to get out of here first.

Kain stopped before they reached the end and traced his hand against the cement. In disbelief, Ruka watched as he expertly found a hidden latch in what looked like a flat wall. He stood still for a second, listening. Nervous that they might still be discovered, Ruka held her breath.

When it became apparent that all was quiet, he pushed the hidden door open, allowing orange light to crack through. Kain went inside without hesitation. Ruka peered in after him.

She sucked in a breath when she saw that it was Kaname's office. Earlier that night, she had been in this exact room. The list of noble family names was still lying on the desk. Had it really only been a few hours ago that she had been sitting here, dreading another dull evening?

Stepping inside, Ruka turned to see that the hidden doorway was attached to the book case. How disappointingly unoriginal.

When she heard a rustling sound, she turned to see Kain with his hand in the fireplace, rummaging through ash and burning wood. The flames were dying, and although Kain was immune to it, he'd rolled his sleeves up so they wouldn't catch fire.

Maybe she was in shock. Maybe the relief from seeing him alive simply overshadowed everything else that had happened that night. Because now that there was enough light to see him, Ruka couldn't help but admire his form.

Like the other nobles that evening, he was dressed in a suit, minus the jacket of course. His white shirt pulled across his broad shoulders. As usual, his hair was a little unkempt, falling slightly over his forehead. She'd always liked when he rolled up his sleeves just so. It seemed to accentuate the sinewy muscles of his forearms.

He must have found whatever it was he was looking for, because something clicked under her feet. Still on edge, Ruka let out a squeak, jumping away from the sound as if it would bite her.

Kain's head shot up, and his face transformed into a gentle smile when he noticed that she'd only been startled. That lopsided grin was enough to make her heart skip, and when he straightened to stroll towards her, Ruka found herself unable to take her eyes off of him.

Placing his hands on her hips, he pulled her towards him, "A few steps this way." He said, his breath brushing over her ear. When she did as he asked, a small panel on the wooden floor popped open.

Bending down, Kain pulled a box out of the hidden compartment. He set it on the desk, then sat in Kaname's chair and opened one of the bottom drawers

Ruka stared at the box. It was made of steel, and was about the size of a briefcase. It was apparently locked, the latch at the front contained a hole for a small key. With an expression that revealed nothing of his thoughts, Kain retrieved the key from the bottom drawer then slid it into the lock.

Curiosity got the better of her, and Ruka peered over his shoulder as he opened the container. Inside, there were various papers, but she was only able to catch brief glimpses of their contents as Kain shuffled through them. Some seemed to be diagrams, others contained long lines of numbers in what looked like mathematical equations. There were old black and white photographs of buildings and people she vaguely recognized as members of the council.

"You may want to avert your eyes." Kain said, as he continued flipping through the images, searching for something.

But it was too late. Gasping, Ruka covered her mouth as the images became more gruesome. Suddenly, there were photos of body parts, people with their limbs contorted into odd shapes. One photo showed a woman lying on a table with needles protruding from her arms; her mouth was wide open in a silent scream, her eyes missing.

Ruka averted her eyes.

Apparently finding whatever it was he was looking for, Kain took several pages, then snapped the box closed. Straightening, he folded the papers, slid them into his back pocket, then quickly returned the box to it's original location, stepping on the floor panel until it sealed shut.

Just then, Ruka heard the sound of running footsteps approaching from the hallway outside. They both froze, staring at the door. Closer and closer, the pounding steps grew louder, but the beating of her heart seemed to roar louder still.

Oh god, what would they do if someone found them? If they were seen together like this, snooping around Kaname's office no less, their guilt would be decided. Then it wouldn't simply be her head on the guillotine, Kain would be marked as well.

But as the footsteps ran outside, they passed the closed door to Kaname's office, and again grew softer as they headed in another direction.

Relieved that they wouldn't be exposed right then and there, but still tense from the close encounter, Ruka found herself pressing her single shoe against her chest, squeezing the stiletto heal until her knuckles turned white.

Moving to stand next to her, Kain was a strong yet comforting presence. He placed a hand at her lower back, leading her back to the hidden doorway. "Don't worry." He whispered calmly, and she could feel the warmth of his hand through the thin layer of her silk gown. "I'll keep you safe."

Trying to take comfort in his words, Ruka forced herself to proceed ahead of him and stepped quietly back into the darkened passage. What Kain didn't seem to understand though, was that she was far more worried about his safety than her own.

The stark hallway was far longer than she expected, and although they were moving quickly, it felt as though it took hours to reach the end. All the while she silently prayed. _Please don't let anyone see him. I don't care what happens to me. Just keep Akatsuki safe._

Finally, just when she thought her knees might buckle underneath her, they reached the end of the tunnel.

Unlike the hidden door leading to Kaname's office, the exit was already slightly opened. Ruka could see the crack in the opening, could hear the soft breeze. The light peeking through was soft and white like the moon.

Bracing his foot against the side wall, Kain used his weight shove against one side of the cracked opening. And as she heard a scraping sound, Ruka realized that it was actually a very large bolder. Amazingly, using the strength of what would normally take a hundred men, Kain was able to push it all on his own.

When he'd slid it far enough, he took her hand again, helping her through. Outside, the wind was blowing, the sky clear. They were in a clearing surrounded by tall lurking trees and the black car was reflecting the light of the moon.

But her feeling of relief had come too soon, because as soon as Kain stepped around the hood of the car, a white haired figure dropped in front of him.

Seiren landed on her feet as if she were as light as a feather, and something silver flashed in her hand. Ready to attack anyone who dared threaten his life, Ruka took a step towards them.

"Tell your dog to stay." Seiren sneered as she pressed her dagger into Kain's neck, drawing a sliver of blood.

Utterly still, Kain's voice remained calm, "Get in the car, Ruka." He said slowly, never taking his eyes off of the white haired assassin. "There are directions in the glove compartment. I'll catch up with you shortly."

Like hell. What did he think, she was just going to leave him here? Taking a step towards them, Ruka prepared herself to attack.

"Move another inch and I will not hesitate to slit his throat!" Seiren shouted, her eyes turning deep red.

Wide eyed, Ruka looked from him to Seiren, shifting slightly as gravel scraped her bare feet. Dear lord, she'd seen how fast Seiren could move. There was no way she would be able to get to them in time. And while Kain was most likely the stronger of the two, she doubted he would be quick enough to escape before Seiren could make her move.

But even as Ruka was cycling through her options, it occurred to her that something was off.

Why hadn't Seiren simply killed him when she had the chance? Her power was unquestionable. She was stealthy and agile. She was an expert at getting in and out before anyone could even notice her presence.

And while her eyes were red, indicating that she was in either bloodlust or rage, it was actually more of a dull color, like rust. In fact, now that Ruka was assessing her more closely, Seiren didn't appear to be showing any emotion at all. It would have been considered normal behavior for her, except for the fact that her eyes were vacant, her pupils missing entirely.

"Seiren." Ruka drew out her name slowly, not wanting to startle their attacker as an idea occurred to her. "What was it that Kaname ordered you to do?"

Her brows drawing together as if in intense confusion, Seiren's grip on her knife faltered, and she pulled back slightly from Kain's throat. Slowly, her features relaxed until she appeared to be in some kind of trance.

"Do not kill." Her voice was a drone. "Do not attack unless they attack first. Protect the safety of the guests. Restrain, but do not draw attention. Follow these orders and do nothing else."

It was eery, the way she spoke. It was as if she were a robot, her voice a computerized recording, and although Seiren normally lacked emotion, it was not at all similar to her normal tone of voice. Slightly dismayed, Ruka realized that Seiren had spoken Kaname's orders almost verbatim, as if they were a mantra that had been repeating over and over again in her head since the moment Kaname had uttered the words.

Was this the true extent of the power of purebloods? What if Kaname had died that night? ...which seemed very likely. Would Seiren continue to follow his last order for the rest of her life?

Dear god, she had been in that room when Kaname had used this technique. How was it that Seiren had become nothing more than a robot, while Ruka remained unaffected?

His brown eyes wide with a look that seemed akin to fascination, Kain watched as Seiren backed away from him. She lowered her arm and held the dagger passively at her side. With a vacant expression, she became a statue - not moving, not speaking.

After several moments passed with nothing else happening, Kain whispered, "I can't believe he did this."

"It was one of the most frightening things I've ever experienced." Ruka told him, unable to take her eyes off of Seiren. Even though the stoic bodyguard had tried to kill her, and even though Ruka had been ready to tear her apart for threatening Kain's life, it was somehow saddening to see the once formidable vampire reduced to this.

"Jesus." At Kain's whispered curse, Ruka looked up to find him watching her, worry etched in the lines of his face.

It occurred to Ruka that the reason she had been able to withstand Kaname's mind control might have very well had something to do with the fact that he had been the one feeding her these past months. The blood of a pureblood vampire certainly must have held power that no normal noble would possess.

In shame, she turned her head away from Kain's caring brown eyes. She didn't deserve his look of concern.

And as he opened the passenger door, waited for her to get in, then jogged around to the driver's side, Ruka felt like her heart was slowly being ripped into shreds. She wondered if Kaname had known that one day, Akatsuki would return to her. Had giving her blood been an attempt to get back at the follower who had betrayed him? Had Kaname intended to drive a wedge between them?

She thought back to that first night - the first time Kaname had broken his skin, allowing his blood to flow freely into her mouth.

* * *

It had begun during those dark days after the meeting with the hunters, when she had finally come to the realization that Akatsuki had no intention of returning. She'd remained locked in her room for weeks, the days growing long, the nights growing longer.

Looking back on it now, Ruka acknowledged that allowing her thirst to progress had been the catalyst that caused a slow decline to tumble to rock bottom. She didn't know how long she went without blood. But it must have gone on much longer than the time she'd spent hiding from Akatsuki at their secluded hideout. Because this time, it had been exponentially worse.

Beginning with tremors and ending in hallucinations, it had spread from a dull ache in her chest to wracking pains throughout her body. Like a deadly disease, the symptoms had worsened with each passing hour.

Akatsuki had once accused her of attempting to starve herself, but that had been a different time, when the thought of committing suicide had seemed abhorrent and foolish.

But during those stark weeks of grief at Kaname's mansion, she had almost succeeded in doing exactly that. She was pathetic - a weak and spoiled girl who used her own heartbreak as an excuse to make those around her fraught with worry. Now, Ruka felt an incredible sense of guilt for what she had put her childhood friend through.

Aidou had been the first to offer, and oh how she now wished she had taken him up on it. He had spent weeks trying to cheer her up, but convincing her mother to visit must have been his last card, because after that he gave up on trying to console her and had settled for simply trying to keep her alive.

Offering blood from his wrist, from a glass, and even a willing human donor, Aidou's attempts to make her drink had bordered on desperation. After this had gone on for several days, she vaguely remembered him pacing the floor of her room, "I swear to god, when I find Akatsuki, I'll beat the living shit out of him, drag him back here and feed him to you." He'd muttered in anger as Ruka lay unmoving on the bed.

Ruka hadn't said anything in response. By that point, she had begun drifting in and out of consciousness, her body gaunt and too weak to move.

Later on that night, Yuuki had been in her room. Ruka hadn't opened her eyes, but she remembered the sweet scent of the pureblood princess floating under her nose.

"Can't you use your pureblood abilities to make her do whatever you want?" She remembered hearing Aidou's voice again. "Just make her swallow."

"But I've never done anything like that before." Yuuki's voice was strained with concern. "I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Well just try it. _Please _Yuuki-sama."

It had been silent for several seconds, and although her memory was fuzzy, Ruka thought that there might have been small and gentle hands pressing against her cheeks.

"It doesn't seem to be working. I'm so sorry."

"Where's Kaname then? Do we even know when he's coming back? God, she looks horrible. Will she even make it until he returns?"

After that, the voices faded away as Ruka's mind fell back into that bleak emptiness. Numbness to her surroundings had been her sole comfort and she'd actually relished in those moments when she'd felt near the end. The pain in her chest would stop and she would imagine her body floating away. The night she'd nearly been raped, the drugs had offered that same temptation, only this time she embraced it. She was letting her mind deteriorate into nothing, letting her body dissipate as if it was nothing but smoke.

But some indeterminable amount of time later, her static dream had turned into her darkest nightmare.

It was as if her soul had left her body and entered someone else's, like a strange vision, only it was far too vivid. She was looking at scenes around her from various times. In one, she was walking the streets of a city she'd never scene before. There were people around her sick and dying, moaning with a deadly illness as their bodies deteriorated. In another, she was among a crowd watching an execution. A woman in a tattered dress was dragged and tied, then lit on fire, her screams reaching a deafening pitch as her skin melted. Later, she found herself in the middle of a battlefield. Swords clashed and axes swung. Blood splattered as a full grown man lay on the ground, grasping at a stump where his leg had once been, crying for his mother.

The visions became more and more horrifying until finally Ruka shot awake. Her eyes snapped open, only to find that a wrist was pressed against her mouth. She was gripping a pale forearm, her fangs were buried deeply into the skin. Blood more potent than anything she had ever tasted was pouring down her throat.

Revolted by what she found herself doing, Ruka tried to pull back, only to feel a hand grip her hair tight enough to pull against her scalp as she was forcefully pressed against the bleeding wrist.

"You will drink until I order you to stop." Kaname's voice sounded in her ear, soft yet menacing. "See others who have struggled desperately to keep their lives, and reconsider what you have been doing to yourself. _This _is your punishment."

With tears streaming down her cheeks, Ruka sobbed against his wrist as she continued to swallow. The visions of death went on relentlessly, each one more horrible than the one before. As his blood continued to poor down her throat, her body grew stronger even as she thought her mind might break.

She thought it would never end, but he eventually let her stop.

Releasing the grip he had on her hair, he spoke in an oddly gentle tone, "That is enough."

Though she was no longer swallowing, Ruka felt the raw power continue to course through her veins. Whether it be from fear of what he had shown her or the waves of adrenaline that came from taking in so much, her hands began to shake.

Appearing indifferent to the fact that he had just turned the most intimate vampire act into the worst nightmare she had ever experienced, Kaname straightened his sleeve. "You will not starve yourself again." He said. "Since you are unable to decide for yourself when your body needs blood, then I will decide for you."

Defeated, Ruka could only stare off into nothing. The full weight of his "punishment" only just beginning to sink in.

"You will drink from me whenever I deem it necessary. You will not protest. You will not argue. In this, you will be obedient." When she tried to look away, he took her chin in a firm grip, forcing her to face him. "Is that understood?"

Repulsed by the very idea of it, Ruka heard herself answering him even as she felt her stomach churn. "Yes, Kaname-sama."

It had felt like the beginning of the end.

Now, she gazed at Akatsuki's face as he steered the sedan. Moonlight crept in through the window, outlining his profile. The masculine strength he carried with an easy stride, his woodsy scent, his red hair that had felt so soft the one night she'd been able to bury her hands in it - she wanted it all.

It seemed like he'd been gone from her life for centuries. She'd despaired in the thought that she would never see him again.

But now he was sitting next to her, close enough to touch, and she felt like bursting into tears.

* * *

**Heavy stuff. I know. **

**And as long as I'm on the soap box I might as well say, I've always thought that reading is all about trust. You take a risk when you read a book, novel, story or whatever. You let the author take you for a ride, begin getting emotionally involved, and pray that the author doesn't cut you to pieces.**

**Anyways, my point is to let you know how much I appreciate all of you who are reading. Feel free to tell me what you love, what you hate, or just whatever you're feeling. **

**And this author is going to desperately try to earn your trust.**


	26. Throw Down your Cards

**So excited to bring you this update. I sincerely hope you enjoy it...**

**Disclaimer: This story is free.**

* * *

The building they drove to was gothic in it's design. Ruka recognized it because she'd seen pictures of the structure and had been told to stay as far away as possible.

But tonight she said nothing as Kain steered the sedan into the underground garage of the vampire hunter base. In fact, neither of them had spoken a word since they'd left Seiren standing alone in the clearing outside Kaname's mansion. The silence hadn't necessarily been uncomfortable, but the atmosphere seemed to fall on her shoulders like a heavy weight.

When Kain parked the car, turned off the ignition, and got out, his face was totally unrevealing.

She didn't wait for him to open her door, but he stepped around to give her a hand. When she was standing outside, he shut the car door behind her. Barefoot, still carrying her single shoe, Ruka felt him rest a hand at her lower back.

Looking down at her bare feet, his lips quirked. "I don't suppose you'd let me carry you."

"It's fine. I can walk." She would love to be lifted into his arms.

He sighed, but the half-smile was still there. "I assumed as much."

With a quiet confidence, Kain lead her towards the underground entrance. Two intimidating guards, equipped head to toe in various weaponry, stood at the door. They seemed to ignore Kain as he approached the entrance, but Ruka hesitated. She couldn't help it. Everything she'd been taught said that she should feel fear when faced with a hunter, and Kain was just going to waltz her right past them.

When she began dragging her feet, pressing herself back against Kain's guiding hand, he slowed down to accommodate her. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he squeezed her hip reassuringly. "It's alright." He said, gently nudging her in the direction of the door, "You're safe here. I promise."

Ruka didn't know how she did it, but she managed to keep her feet moving. The guards ignored them as they passed, neither of them lifting a brow as Kain lead her through the sliding door.

Inside, it reminded her of a police station. There was a reception area, holding cells, various offices with desks and chairs. The place was empty, but it had just recently been filled with people. They'd left they're work half done, snacks half eaten. Their scent still lingered in the air.

Her mind felt numb as he took her to a back stairway. A few flights lead to the bottom floor. Once they were in the basement, she followed him down a narrow hallway, and when he opened a door for her, she went into the room.

Flipping the light switch, he stepped inside, shutting the door softly behind them. The first thing she noticed was that the room smelled richly of him. A door lead to a small bathroom in the corner. One wall comprised a small kitchen - a sink lined with drying dishes, and a yellow refrigerator.

It was obvious that he had been living there for quite some time, however it looked nothing like any place he had lived in before. It was a mess. The single bed was undone, the covers slanted and touching the floor on one side. There was a round dining table in the middle of the room. It was completely covered with paper: maps and photos and various hand-written notes. Posted on the wall was a series of blueprints, and after a brief glance she realized that they illustrated an outline of each floor of Kaname's mansion.

Kain was standing next to a dresser. He'd retrieved the pages he'd stolen from Kaname's office and was setting them in an open drawer.

Still standing just inside the door, Ruka watched him with a feeling of uncertainty. Seeing him here, in this messy room, among these things, made her wonder if she really knew him at all.

"I know you have questions." he said as he removed his watch. "Ask them later."

And then she knew for certain that she'd been in shock, because the questions began pouring through her mind the second he mentioned them.

Exactly how many secrets did he have? She was dying to know what he had taken from Kaname's office. Was it something incriminating? A secret formula? Evidence?

She looked at the man standing across from her as if he were a stranger. Where before, his secretive nature had seemed charming, even bashful, she now saw that it was his way of life. Just what kinds of things had he done for Kaname that she'd never been told about?

And as long as she was asking herself questions - Why did he leave her for three whole god-forsaken months?

He was strolling towards her, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders relaxed.

Despite her fear that this might be unknown territory, despite the nagging sense that she had stepped into some kind of trap, Ruka couldn't help but feel a sharp tug of sexual awareness as his eyes met hers. She watched him as if he were an approaching storm, her breath becoming shallow as he drew nearer.

Yet even as she wanted to run into his arms, even as she fantasized about kissing those tender and well-sculpted lips, her mind continued to race. Why had he decided to return to her tonight? What had been his purpose in all of this?

His expression was somber, but his brown eyes were caring as he withdrew the stiletto from her grasp. After setting it next to the door, he stood before her. She found herself lost in his coffee brown eyes. There was so much there but so little said. Her eyes fell to his loose collar, and the smooth skin revealed at the base of his neck was enough to make her hands itch.

He moved first, gently brushing her cheek with a knuckle before sliding his hand behind her neck. As if sensing her tension, he massaged her lightly. Muscles and tendons seemed to melt under his persuasion. It took everything in her not to let out a moan. Leaning in, he pressed his lips to her forehead, and that single chaste kiss was enough to make her knees go weak.

"Akatsuki..." she whispered, her heart pounding.

"Hmmm." He hummed in response, and she felt the vibration of the low tone run through her. His lips brushed her cheek.

Feeling her heart twist painfully, Ruka turned her head to avoid his next kiss. She didn't know what he'd done, or what he was even capable of, but she knew for certain that she didn't deserve any of this.

He must have sensed her withdrawal, because he brought a hand to her upper arm, pulling her closer. "Don't think." he whispered, "Just let me hold you."

His hand began sliding along her back. The jacket he'd loosely draped over her shoulders slipped and fell to the floor. Her dress was provocative, nearly backless, and every inch of her exposed skin felt cool, except where he touched it.

Ruka wanted to bury her face in his chest. She wanted to hold onto him and never let go. But the way he placed a careful kiss on the spot just below her ear, was enough to make her feel like her heart was being slowly torn apart.

"I can't do this." She forced herself to speak through the tight knot in her throat. "If you knew what I...that I..." Tears pressed at her eyes. She couldn't finish.

The warm hand on her back froze, and he lifted his head to study her face. Feeling about as worthy as a spec of dirt, Ruka stared at the floor. His hands fell to his sides.

"You sure you want to have this conversation?" He asked, and it sounded like a warning.

Thinking he couldn't possibly have the slightest clue of what she was about to tell him, Ruka nodded. "Yes."

"Right now." He pressed, waiting for a confirmation.

In an attempt to prepare herself, Ruka took in a shaky breath. "Putting it off will only make it that much harder."

He sighed, dragging himself away from her as if he thought this was the worst idea ever, then he walked towards the bed. Blinking through unshed tears, Ruka watched as he picked up a manilla folder from the nightstand.

Casually, as if it was nothing important, he began pulling out sheets one by one and tossing them on the table. They were heavier than normal paper, glossy looking, and seemed to easily fall face up on top of all of his other scrambled notes. His face remained stark as he completed the task.

Not understanding his actions, Ruka took a step towards him, leaning over the table to take a look.

When she saw what they were, her hand shot to cover her mouth.

Lying on the table, in perfect clarity, were various photographs. Some were in black and white. A few were in color. Most were a little fuzzy since they had been taken from outside a window - but they all had one thing in common.

They were all pictures of her and Kaname, his pale wrist pressed against her mouth.

How odd that the first thing she noticed was that she had always kept her eyes open while feeding, red though they might have been.

Throwing the now empty folder on the floor, Kain leaned against the back wall, ankles crossed, arms folded. His eyes were closed but his brows were drawn together, as if he was in a state of severe concentration.

Feeling like she had just been caught naked in headlights, Ruka looked from him then back to the photographs. In a haunting dream, she recalled the events that had lead to each moment. One from outside Kaname's office, where she had gone to discuss the attendees of an exclusive meeting, only to be confronted with his demand that she drink.

Another displayed a view through her bedroom window. She had been dressing for an evening dinner. He had knocked on the door, but hadn't waited for the invitation, shaming her with his order that she feed.

Then inside Kaname's sitting room. He had sent a servant to request her. She had dragged her feet, her stomach sinking as she'd knocked on the door, but she had obeyed.

"It's not the same as it looks." She said lamely, even though it was true. None of the pictures could display the strong aversion she'd felt, even as she was compelled to swallow. None of them could show that each time she'd done it, she'd died a little inside.

"I suppose you're going to tell me you were coerced?" he said, although his dry tone indicated that he didn't believe it.

"No." She replied sadly, never lifting her eyes from the table.

"Did he threaten you? Starve you until you couldn't resist?" The questions were loaded, she could tell, but his voice remained level.

"No. Not exactly."

Apparently finished, he grew silent again. Glancing up from the photos, Ruka noticed that his head was turned. His eyes were focused on some invisible spot on the opposite wall.

He looked elegant, reserved. With his head turned to the side, she could see the distinguished outline of his profile, the masculine cut of his jaw. The suit fit him perfectly, the white shirt falling loosely over his flat stomach, the black belt cinched over narrow hips.

Even though he appeared relaxed, there was a rigidness to his form. As always, his emotions were guarded behind a wall of brutal self-control.

If he had known all along, why had he held her so gently? Why had he kissed her forehead? Why had he even come back for her at all?

Her heart aching, Ruka's eyes fell back to the table. She didn't know why she'd continued to follow Kaname's orders after the first time. Perhaps she'd never truly gotten over the desire to gain Kaname's approval. Or maybe she'd hoped that if she did as he asked, he would be able to return everything that she'd lost. It was stupid really, when she would have gladly given it all up just to keep Akatsuki in her life.

"Is he really dead?" she asked now, hardly believing it herself.

"Jesus, Ruka." Kain said her name like a curse, as if the very question repulsed him. "No. He's not dead."

"He looked dead." Ruka mumbled, almost to herself, remembering the sickly pale color of Kaname's cheeks as he lay motionless on the marble floor.

Kain's voice was tight with leashed frustration. "We gave him enough to put him out, maybe even for a few days, but unfortunately, it wasn't nearly strong enough to kill the bastard."

Surprised, she blurted, "Then what was the point?"

There was a moment of hesitation before he responded, "It was a warning."

Not missing the edge in his tone, Ruka thought it may be better if she dropped the subject, but she couldn't keep from asking, "A warning for what?"

His eyes narrowed, even though it seemed he'd expected her to ask. "Despite how strong you think he is, Kaname isn't all powerful. He can't control every vampire, let alone every pureblood." His voice became flat, devoid of emotion. "So when they go around creating hundreds of level E's, he does what we did with the council's lab. He covers their tracks."

"But the peace treaty..." She started.

He cut her off. "The peace treaty is just a means to keep the hunters off his back."

Despite the calmness with which he'd said those last words, Ruka had trouble believing it. She'd seen how fierce Kaname could be when the lives of humans were threatened.

"So he just lets the other purebloods do whatever they want?" she asked. "He doesn't try to do anything about it?"

Kain let out a chuckle, although there was no humor in it. "Oh no, if they gain enough power to threaten his dominance, he takes them out."

Ruka sucked in a breath. "He kills them?"

"Well, not at first." Now that it was out in the open, he seemed to have no problem divulging the details. "It starts with their followers. They begin to disappear one by one. And when no one else is alive to discover the evidence, he goes in for the kill."

Shocked, not only at the sheer atrocity of Kaname's actions, but by the fact that this had all been going on without anyone knowing, Ruka had trouble accepting it. Sure, purebloods would sometimes disappear, but they were always going in and out of one of their hundred year sleeps. Surely people would begin to notice that some of them weren't waking up.

"How many?" She asked, though she wasn't sure she wanted to know.

Kain lifted a brow. "What are we counting? Nobles? Humans? Those he killed himself or those he dictates to his assassins?"

Humans? Dear God. "Purebloods."

"Five."

And with that one word the number of purebloods in the world was cut by nearly a third. The thought made her dizzy.

"How do you know all of this?" Ruka found herself asking, even though she feared she already knew the answer.

His voice dropped to a low rumble. "I've been working for him."

His body was still, his breathing nearly silent, but his eyes seemed to become darker. Secrets hid behind their coffee brown depths. Ruka's heart sped slightly as she began seeing the man she loved in a different light. He was still the same boy she had grown up with, but somehow his presence had altered.

For the first time, she looked at Akatsuki and found him dangerous.

"What did he have you do?" Her voice was so soft, she'd practically just mouthed the words.

He didn't answer immediately. For several seconds, he just watched her with an unnerving composure, until finally he closed his eyes. His head lowered slightly, as if he had resigned himself to a choice.

"Mostly just cover ups." He let out a sigh, but his eyes never opened. "For vampires who consider themselves to be supreme beings, it's amazing how much of a mess they make when they kill each other."

He'd settled for a lie by omission. His guarded tone gave him away, but Ruka didn't push further. For whatever reason, he didn't want her to know. It didn't matter anyways, she realized. It wouldn't change how she felt about him. For now, she would trust in his judgment.

She began hesitantly. "I want to explain..." She stopped, searching for the right words, then gave up. "...what happened."

"I don't want to hear it."

"But-"

"I said," He paused for emphasis, enunciating the words. "I don't want to hear it."

Ready to argue, Ruka opened her mouth, but stopped once she noticed the way he was watching her. He remained lethally still, tension underlying the edges of his frame. The mahogany of his eyes was slowly transforming to red.

Good lord, she wasn't sure if she'd ever seen him this angry.

But even while a part of her feared what would happen if she continued, she just couldn't just leave it like this. "You disappeared. I didn't even know if you were alive, much less where you were. I thought you'd left me forever. I was devastated." When he didn't reply, she added. "There was so much of that god-awful drug in my system that to this day, the tablets don't work."

"And he just happened to be around when you needed a fix." His tone was too flat to be considered sarcastic.

Gritting her teeth, Ruka ground out, "No. He found me trying to starve myself so he forced me to drink."

"And did you enjoy yourself?"

She sucked in a breath at his softly spoken question. "No, Akatsuki. It was frightening."

"So that must explain why you proceeded to drink from him over and over again."

"It wasn't like you're thinking. It wasn't even anything close to how it was with us." Fraught with emotion, Ruka desperately wished there was a way to explain how it had happened. "After the first time, he would order me to drink and I just...I just didn't argue."

His shoulders visibly tensed, his dark gaze becoming even more severe. "He orders you to engage in an act more intimate than sex and you 'just didn't argue.'"

God, she was making a mess of this. "Please understand. At the time, it felt like I had no other choice. Would it have been any better if it had been someone else? The only other person to offer was your cousin. If I had accepted it from him, would that really have made any difference?"

One of his hands had clenched into a tight fist, and she could tell he wanted to throw her words back in her face. But he regained control quickly.

Taking a deep breath, he released the tension in his hand to rub the space between his eyes. "I think I've heard enough."

Despite herself, Ruka felt her frustration begin to rise. Okay, so she knew she wasn't completely innocent, but she couldn't help but feel that his complete lack of understanding was just a little unwarranted. "_You__'__re _the one who left _me__,_ Akatsuki. You were gone for three months! I assumed that you no longer cared. What else was I supposed to think when you just walked out on me like that?"

If anything, that only seemed to anger him further. "Forgive me if I didn't want to stay and watch you throw yourself at his feet."

Gasping at his audacity, Ruka snapped. "Alright. Yes! I threw myself at his feet. You have me there. I literally got on my knees, on the floor, and begged him for your life." Her pride ruined, she couldn't help but raise her voice. "In fact, I did it twice!"

He was quiet for a minute and she thought that maybe she'd been able to get through to him. But when he spoke again, his voice still had that same quiet intensity. "You know what I did when tablets didn't work?"

Ruka assumed it was a rhetorical question and so she didn't answer. Lord, she was sure she didn't want to know.

But when his gaze continued to burn into hers, she shook her head.

He took his time strolling to the tiny kitchen, then he opened the refrigerator, perusing the contents. One by one, he took out three bags and tossed them on the table. They were red and air tight. One had cut open as he tossed it carelessly, spraying thick red droplets all over a black and white photo of her and Kaname. The scent of blood filled the room.

"Blood packs. They've got so many level E's on their hands that the hunters have these in abundance." Kain said. The only indication that he was at all upset was the slamming of the refrigerator door. "Although, they sometimes ran out. You know what I did then?"

He was still withholding the full force of his anger, but she could tell it was close to the surface. It tore her apart to have made him this upset, but what could she possibly say? In a way, his anger was justified. He had every right.

Feeling increasingly uncomfortable, Ruka could only shake her head mutely.

There was a glass on the counter, he picked it up, strolling towards her. "One of the hunters would slit their wrist into a glass. Can you imagine?"

Even though he'd seemed to calm down for a second, Ruka went tense as he approached.

Then the storm hit it's peak.

"A fucking glass!" He held it in a fist as he slammed it on the table, the resounding crash nearly causing her to jump out of her skin.

Ruka didn't move. She could hardly even breathe. The crushing outburst echoed into silence. Something that had been rattling on the table, slowed and died to a stop. The glass between them became an elephant in the room.

She'd known Akatsuki could get angry, or rather, she'd known _of _him getting angry, but it had never been directed at her. Never once had he even raised his voice.

His gaze held hers with unleashed ferocity.

"Never assume that I don't care." He ground out, gripping the glass so hard his knuckles had turned white. "Three months, three years, a fucking century... I don't give a shit how long it is. _Never_ assume that I don't care about you."

Ruka's throat clenched with emotion. She found herself wanting to say something but she didn't know what. There was nothing she could say, really. No words would undo the damage. It wouldn't be enough.

Oh why had she given up on him so quickly? At the time, it had seemed like she had waited for him for an eternity, but looking back on it now, she realized that the three or four weeks she'd spent mourning the loss of his presence had been nothing in the great scheme of things. He'd always stayed by her side, always supported her. Through all the years that she'd known him, he'd never gone back on a promise. To her, he'd always been loyal.

What on earth had she been thinking?

After a long and dreadful silence, the sound of his voice startled her. "Did you ever...do anything else with him?" But he spoke again before she could respond. "Christ, don't answer that."

It had obviously pained him to ask, and from the strain in his voice, she could tell he had been imagining the worst. She didn't even want to think about how long that question had plagued him.

Gesturing to the photographs, she told him, "No. It never went beyond this."

She'd hoped that would at least ease his mind a little, but it didn't seem to. He was leaning against the table. The muscles of his forearms were pulled taut with strain. He had closed his eyes, but he remained stiff, as if he was barely able to keep himself from lashing out again.

The volume of his voice was so low it was nearly a whisper. "Tell me he didn't hurt you."

Right then, she wanted to take everything she'd said to him back - all of the things about him leaving her, how she'd thought she had no choice, how she'd felt devastated. Now it was too late. He was already blaming himself.

"Oh Akatsuki," She said his name sadly, wishing she could offer some comfort, but his bearing was too formidable. She didn't dare approach him. "He didn't hurt me at all," she said, "not in the way you're thinking."

She realized her mistake too late.

His fist tightened around the glass, and a muscle ticked at the side of his jaw. "It was a simple question, Ruka." he bit out, opening his eyes to give her a hard look. "Did he hurt you? Yes or no."

"No, he just..." She caught herself and stopped.

"He just what?"

"He just..." She wasn't sure how to explain it. "He showed me things...in his head," Waving a hand in a dismissive gesture, she added, "It was nothing really."

He wasn't buying it. She could tell. Hiding her emotions from him had always been impossible, and he knew she was trying to downplay what had happened. Slipping anything past Akatsuki was a futile effort.

He didn't repeat the question. He didn't have to. The glass was still being strangled by his fist. His shoulders didn't relax. With a patience that slowly became more and more suffocating, he just watched her. Waiting.

Holding a piece of her dress in her hands, Ruka twisted the fabric nervously. "The first time I...well, I wasn't exactly awake when it started. I was seeing things, awful things. People dieing, people screaming in pain, people..." Her voice cut off, the memories coming back in waves. It was too horrible to speak of, and even though she was sure she'd deserved it at the time, there was no use in dwelling on it now.

Jumping ahead, she tried to get through the rest of it quickly. "I thought I was dreaming, and when I realized what was actually happening, I tried pulling away, but he wouldn't let me. So I-"

"Wouldn't let you." he repeated, and she could have sworn she heard his teeth grinding.

Oh dear, how was she supposed to put this diplomatically? "Well, he ummm...held me in such a way that I couldn't remove myself." she explained before quickly moving on, "He said it was my punishment."

The glass shattered under the pressure of his grasp. And when the sound didn't startle her, she realized she had been somewhat expecting it.

But nothing could have prepared her for the heady aroma of his blood. The cut on his finger was small, but it bled profusely, falling over a broken edge of the glass in heavy drops. A slow stream slithered to the table. As if he hadn't realized he'd done it, Kain glanced down and let out a nearly silent curse.

But Ruka barely heard it. Her throat was dry. Her breathing had become ragged. She knew her eyes were turning red, but she couldn't stop it. For what had seemed like an eternity, she'd longed for his blood. The hunger ran deep. It wasn't just about a taste. She wanted all of the intimacy that came with it.

She couldn't seem to drag her eyes away from the broken glass, but she heard him speak softly.

"How long has it been?" he asked.

"Four days." she whispered.

It was too long. They both knew it.

A moment of silence passed before his voice cut through her hunger. "This _punishment_." He said the word as if it tasted like acid. "Was it what you wanted?"

The question caught her off guard. Tearing her eyes from the glass, Ruka thought she must have heard him incorrectly. "Excuse me?"

He ignored her shocked expression. "He treats you like shit. You _know _this. So why did you crawl back to him?"

"I don't think-"

"That's right, Ruka. You don't think." he cut her off harshly. She winced, but he didn't let that stop him. "You don't think about how much you're hurting yourself, how much you're hurting the people who worry about you."

His words cut her deeply. God, did he hate her that much? Forcing down the biting pain in her chest, Ruka started, "Akatsuki I..."

But he didn't let her finish, "Admit it. You _love_ being punished. You love it when he hurts you, when he ignores you and throws you away."

Stricken silent, she could only stare up at him blankly, too shocked to even shed tears.

The severity of his harsh gaze didn't ease in the slightest. "Your parents raised you to believe that you're worthless, that you'll never be good enough. So when somebody loves you without you having to earn it, then it means there's something wrong. Doesn't it?"

Numbly, Ruka found herself slowly shaking her head, more to ward off the venom of his tone than to answer him.

When he took a step towards her, she nearly flinched, but he only grabbed one of the photographs. As if he thought she was blind, he held it a mere inches from her face. It was the image of her and Kaname in the sitting room. She remembered feeling horror when she'd been in that room, but none of it was displayed in the picture of her face.

His voice became thick with barely controlled rage. "When he ignores you and throws you away. When he hurts you." His hand tightened, causing the blood on his finger to smear over the image. "When he treats you like _this__, _it confirms everything your parents taught you, and then _you_ think the world makes a whole lot more sense. Isn't that right?"

Hot tears began to press at her eyes, her throat constricting until it felt almost impossible to breath. Oh why was he doing this? She wanted him to stop. God, he was tearing her apart.

But his sharp gaze was merciless, and if anything, his voice became even more urgent, more demanding. "So even after everything that happened between us, you still ran to him the second you had the fucking chance. Just so he could hurt you again and make everything right."

"No, Ruka." He immediately stopped her when she opened her mouth to argue. "I won't listen to any bullshit excuses. I want you to look at me and admit it. This punishment. You wanted it. You _craved _it, didn't you?"

This time, he was baiting her, and despite the daggers that pierced through her chest with his every word, she felt like she was being reeled in. His eyes were fueled with determination. They burned into her soul like a hot blade.

Oh how she wanted to be able to tell him he was wrong.

With an overbearing stillness, he stood over her, but the tone of his voice became just a little bit softer. "Admit it, Ruka. "

For reasons she couldn't understand, her palms began to sweat. She found herself gripping the fabric of her skirt so hard she was losing sensation in her fingers. The walls of the tiny room began to cave in.

Nearly shaking, she somehow managed to find her voice. "Yes, everything you said...it's..." Her voice broke, and she felt herself caving. "Oh god, it's all true."

His eyes widened slightly, and she wondered if maybe he had expected a different answer. Whether he'd taken what she'd said as good or bad, she couldn't tell. With a ruthlessness she hadn't known he possessed, he had ripped the truth from her. She wasn't sure if she'd willingly given him her soul or if he'd simply taken it, but the result was the same. It was now his to do with as he pleased.

He broke through her anguish with a harsh command. "This ends here." he announced, his voice leaving no room for argument.

Not knowing what to expect, Ruka gave a slight jerk when his hand suddenly lit with a ball of flame. The fire vanished as quickly as it had appeared. The photograph had become nothing but ash in his palm.

In a daze, Ruka stared at the ashes as he let them flutter in small specs to the floor. They became lost in the carpet, mixing in with the synthetic fiber until they all but disappeared.

"I can put this behind us, but I'm not going to stand by and let you use him as some twisted means to hurt yourself." he told her, the conviction in his voice unmistakable.

Shame filled her. There was nothing left of her pride. Too humiliated to even look at him, she watched one shiny black shoe take a step closer.

When he spoke next, it was with a stern whisper in her ear. "This will never happen again. I won't allow it."

She wanted to look into his eyes, to tell him that she wanted nothing more than to stay at his side, but his voice was doing the strangest things to her.

First, there was a rush of relief. If he meant to protect her from herself then he didn't intend to leave her. That alone was enough to make her feel like she could breathe again.

Second, her insides began to stir in a way that was not entirely unpleasant. That demanding edge to his voice - was it possible that she was actually finding it...erotic?

Putting his hands in his pockets, he began to leisurely pace around her, taking small steps as if he had all the time in the world. Her senses heightened apprehensively. Butterflies began fluttering in her stomach.

"I don't care how much you think you want to see him." he was saying as he moved behind her, "I don't care if I have to tie you up and drag you to another part of the world. And don't think that tonight was the extent of it. If it takes killing the degenerate bastard, I'll do it."

Surprised by the boldness of his tone, she strained her neck to look over her shoulder. The fire in his eyes was enough to convince her. If there was a way for anyone to kill a pureblood, she was sure Akatsuki would be the one to find it.

This new side of him was fascinating in a way that she found oddly arousing. Arrested by the hardened lines of his features, Ruka wanted to continue gazing up at him. But his hand grasped her chin firmly, and with a sharp twist he turned her head, forcing her to face forward.

Her back went stiff, nervousness causing her breath to come in shallow pants, but he only spoke to her softly, his breath brushing over her ear. "Now, I am never going to hurt you." he whispered, his voice sending chills down her spine. "There won't be any punishments. With me, you will never go ignored."

The hand on her chin gentled suddenly and he stroked a line over her jaw. "I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted." He said, and she felt him move closer, the heat of his body inches from her back. "But I will never become that for you."

His other hand wrapped around her upper arm in a light hold, his thumb brushing back and forth over her skin. And for a moment, he seemed to savor the feel of her skin beneath his hand, unaware that her body was humming with anticipation.

"I don't want you to change." she whispered, desperately trying to keep her knees from buckling underneath her.

"No?" And she thought she heard a smile in his voice, if one could hear such a thing.

Still grasping the cloth of her skirt in her hands, Ruka shook her head, wishing she could at least stop her palms from sweating.

Her body was so high strung that when his lips pressed against the slope of her shoulder, she gave a small flinch. But it was only a long, chaste kiss. And when his mouth trailed upwards, pressing gently over the side of her throat, she couldn't help but suck in a breath. In a comforting gesture, he gave her arm a small squeeze.

"Good." He whispered, his lips brushing over her skin. "That's good."

She thought he might bite her then. She even anticipated the feel of his fangs digging into her skin. Her thoughts lingered on the possibility - the luscious waves of release, the strong sense of belonging. But he seemed to have his own goal in mind, and his mouth continued to trail upwards until he had reached that sensitive spot by her ear. The softness of his lips as he kissed her there was enough to make her heart ache.

The room still buzzed with tension. His harshly spoken words were still fresh in her mind. He had taken her apart, completely disassembled her into a thousand broken pieces. Reeling from the change in the air, she found herself stunned by what he was doing now. Kind words. Soothing caresses. They contrasted so sharply with his earlier demeanor that she felt like she was standing in the dark, unable to see her next step, let alone his next move.

Just so, her heart sped when his fingers began gliding over her spine, his touch so light that it caused her hair to stand on end. God, he was barely even touching her and already she was melting.

But after all that had happened, he still wanted her? She couldn't understand why.

"Akatsuki..." She tried turning her head to look at him, but he still had one hand on her chin.

And then she lost everything she had been about to say, because one of his fingers began trailing over her lips - the very same finger that he'd cut on the broken glass. The tiny injury had healed but the skin around it was still red and wet.

Suddenly, her senses became overwhelmed by the intoxicating scent of his blood. Her entire body froze to ice. With nothing but a gentle persuasion, he held her captive, and it took her a moment to realize that he'd left her no room to escape. One small movement, and her control would snap.

He knew it too, she realized. He knew that he was teasing her pitilessly, because even though she didn't move, he slipped his index finger between her slightly parted lips. She could already catch the feint taste of his blood, and her eyes began to water. Turning his hand sideways, he pressed the pad of his finger against the tip of her fang, hard enough to draw blood. A single drop fell on her tongue, and a strange, helpless sound escaped from her lips.

His voice was so hoarse it was nearly unrecognizable. "Suck on it." And when she did as he asked, he let out a long groan, his forehead falling to her shoulder. "Ah, fuck."

Her eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head as she stroked her tongue over his skin, greedily licking for every last drop. He took a deep, shaky breath - a sigh that he couldn't quite seem to control. One arm snuck around her waist and he held on, his forearm taut against her belly, tension seeping through the layers of their clothing.

Seconds passed, her mind flooding with the silky sweet taste of his blood, and he seemed to take a moment of consideration before easing her back slowly, until her shoulders were flat against the wall of his chest. His arousal pressed against her hip, shockingly hard. Unyielding. A flush of desire pooled between her legs in response.

"You have no idea how stunning you are in this dress." His voice floated over her, and something inside her softened at the sincerity of his compliment. Releasing another long sigh, he continued, "And now all I can think about is getting you out of it."

Disappointed that there was nothing left, Ruka released his finger from her lips. "There's a zipper...at the waist." she said, having to pause between words to catch her breath.

But he didn't seem to hear her, he was too busy toying with the thin strap on her shoulder, his finger still damp from her tongue. A light tug and it slipped off the edge of her shoulder, then all it took was little nudge from his knuckle and it loosely slid down her arm.

This wasn't a dress that she could have worn a bra with. The silk clung to the tip of her breast, a last feeble attempt to cover her where she was most sensitive. But it was no match for the gentle coaxing of his fingers, and with a smooth caress, it succumbed to the pressure, falling to expose one rosy peak.

The arm around her waist pulled tighter, and the beat of his heart drummed against her back. Carefully, he cupped her with his palm, his thumb sweeping back and forth over her until her nipple tightened into a hard bead.

"You are so beautiful, Ruka." he whispered, and she latched onto the husky sound of his voice as he stroked her, rolling the peak between his thumb and index finger. "Seeing you like this...you make me forget myself."

He gave her nipple a gentle squeeze, but even as she felt a sharp tug of desire pull at her abdomen, a knot of emotion formed in her throat. As always, he was being too good to her. She didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve him.

"Akatsuki, why..." The ache in her heart was almost too much to bear. "After everything, how can you still want to be with me like this."

"Shhhh, no more thinking." he shushed her, his hand sliding to her other shoulder. The second strap didn't stand a chance, and much like the first, it caved easily, falling down her arm in a quick surrender.

"I'll always want you." he said, pausing to admire her. "Don't question it."

He covered her with both hands and for a stretch of time, she was struck speechless, her skin absorbing the heat of his touch as he stroked and massaged.

It took her several minutes before she could remember herself, "I want you too but...ahhh" Her words dissolved into a sharp cry as he pinched both of her nipples. Hard.

"That is all I want to hear." He said, his voice surprisingly rough. "There will be no more questions. No buts."

"But-"

He pinched her again. Harder this time, and Ruka was shocked to feel a flood of arousal wash over her. Her knees began to go weak, and she reached a hand behind her to hold onto his belt, barely managing to steady herself.

His breath was hot in her ear, his voice teasing. "Now, you can moan all you like." One hand slid down her stomach, drawing a path of fire over the thin silk layer of her gown. "You can cry. You can beg me for more." When his hand arrived at the aching center between her legs, he pressed her through her dress. His voice deepened. "And when you come, you can say my name. I want you to scream it."

Dear god, she was close to screaming right now. With her back pressed against his body like this, she could feel every hard ridge of him. His muscled forearm pressed against her stomach, his confident strength binding her to him, even after she'd already become subdued.

It wasn't fair. Who had decided that she should be the only one on the receiving end? As much as she enjoyed learning every nuance of his personality, she wasn't sure that she should have to tolerate such blatantly presumptuous behavior. Letting her body go slack, she bit her lip against the pressure of his fingers between her thighs and pretended to readjust her grip on his belt, slowly sneaking her hand just a little bit further.

She had just managed to feel his impressive size through his clothing before he hissed in a breath and snatched her hand away.

"There'll be none of that." he nearly grunted, dropping her hand to fumble with the zipper at her waist. "This comes off first."

Since he was standing behind her, the effect of her pout was lost on him, but she couldn't help but notice that his movements were no longer as smooth and in control as they had been just seconds before. His breathing became heavier. The zipper came undone in two rough jerks. Then he was pushing down the scrunched fabric at her waist, until it slipped off her hips and fell to the floor.

He let out a surprised curse. "Oh hell, what is this?"

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "It's called a thong." she informed him.

"I know what it is but...damn." When his voice trailed off, she turned her head to find him rubbing a hand over his mouth, his eyes glued to the garment in question.

"If I wore something else, you would see underwear lines through the dress." she explained defensively.

She felt awkward with him standing behind her, and she found herself becoming increasingly aware of every inch of skin exposed by the thin string. She tried turning around completely, but he was quick to catch her.

"No. Stay like this." He said curtly, holding her shoulders so he could continue to gaze down at her from behind.

It was unnerving, not being able to see him. The slip of a string did nothing to hide her nudity. In fact, it's design only resulted in flaunting her curves. With nothing blocking his view, she could feel his eyes on her. Where would he touch her next? It was all she could think about. Her senses heightened in anticipation. Her muscles began to tense. The hair on the back of her neck stood on end.

Attuned to every sound behind her, his breathing, his heartbeat, the rustle of his shirt as he moved, she shouldn't have been startled when his finger skimmed along the string, but even that light touch made her breath catch.

"I was going to take this off." he said, tracing all the way down and then up again. "Now I'm not sure I want to."

He had to have noticed her choppy breaths, her speeding heart, but it didn't seem to phase him in the slightest. As if he could spend the entire evening doing nothing but this, he continued his leisurely perusal, exploring every exposed curve, until she felt her thighs begin quiver. Hooking a finger under the string at her hip, he pulled slightly and let it snap back.

She startled noticeably, and her cheeks burned when he let out a chuckle.

"Sorry," He apologized insincerely, "I couldn't resist."

She tried to appear convincingly affronted, but it was a pathetic attempt. Maybe if desire hadn't been coursing through every inch of her body, she might have been able to scold him for toying with her. As it was, she could hardly keep herself from collapsing.

Unaffected by her embarrassment, his hand moved to her inner thigh, pressing slightly. She knew he wanted her to spread her legs, but she refused. What did he think she was? His puppet?

She steeled her resolve, even when she felt his other hand traveling to her breast, even when his index finger began to draw slow circles around the distended tip. But when he took her earlobe between his teeth, biting her gently, her control began to slip at an alarming rate.

"Spread your legs, Ruka." He whispered, and his husky tone was incredibly persuasive. "Let me touch you."

Her thighs began to tremble. The muscles in her stomach clenched. Lord, she wanted him to touch her there. She didn't think she'd ever wanted anything more.

Unable to hold out any longer, she let him coax her into taking one small step, making enough room for him to freely explore. She had hoped she would receive instant gratification, but of course, he wasn't in the slightest hurry.

All she could hear was the relentless pounding of her own heartbeat as his hand trailed upwards at an agonizingly slow pace. Despite her acquiescence to his earlier request, the battle inside her continued, and she didn't know if she wanted to persevere or break down and beg. For the time being, she was making every effort to keep her lips sealed, mentally urging him to move to that spot that was now soaked and throbbing in agony.

Finally, with a touch that was almost painfully gentle, he pulled the slip of fabric between her legs aside, and slowly slid one finger inside her.

She did moan then. Holding it back would have been impossible, and she found that she suddenly didn't care to try.

"Christ, you're wet." he rasped, and the shaking in his voice confirmed that she wasn't the only one hanging on by a thread.

In slow, excruciating strokes, his finger moved in and out, mimicking the act of making love. Unable to help herself, she clenched him with her inner walls and was rewarded with his soft groan. God, she didn't know if she could take this much longer. She silently prayed for him to move faster, for him to move his finger just a little bit higher. Her clitoris was there, left alone and aching for his attention. He knew where it was, damn it. He was doing this to her on purpose. She wasn't going to beg. She wasn't!

A pitiful, whimpering sound started to emerge with each of her breaths. The hand on her breast moved to her cheek, and he gently urged her to face him. Knowing that turning around would cause his finger to dislodge from inside her, effectively ending all of this delicious torture, it was suddenly the last thing she wanted to do.

"Come on, Ruka." he spoke softly, his voice deep and enticing. "Turn around so I can kiss you."

As much as she longed to feel his lips against hers, Ruka could barely move. Her entire body was shaking. The death grip she had on his belt was the only thing holding her up.

He must have understood her dilemma, because he let out a sigh. As his finger slowly withdrew from inside her, she tried clenching it again, tried to hold it inside her for as long as she could. But he wouldn't be dissuaded, and when his hand left her completely, she had to bite back a moan of despair.

With a hand on her hip he guided her around, until she stood at eye level with the first few undone buttons of his shirt. Off balance, still dizzy from the swift loss of his touch, Ruka blinked a few times in an attempt to regain her focus. His lips brushed her cheek first, then lightly trailed to the corner of her mouth. Sliding a hand behind her neck, he angled her head to the side.

When his lips pressed to hers they were soft and supple. Her knees gave out, but he supported her with a strong arm around her waist. His kiss was thorough, but always languid and slow. When she parted her lips to brush her tongue against his, he groaned deeply, his hold tightening around her like a vise.

Grabbing fistfuls of his shirt, she held onto him for dear life, moaning at the erotic feel of his coarse clothing rubbing against her naked skin. His hard length was pressed between them, and as if unable to stop himself, he rocked his hips against her abdomen.

Distantly, she noticed that they were moving. With clumsy steps, he was leading her backwards. Then suddenly, he dragged his mouth away from hers.

Disoriented by the sudden loss of his support, she swayed on her feet. "Akatsuki, what are you..."

A crashing sound cut her off, and she only had a split second to see that he had swept everything off the table before he was grabbing her hips and lifting her up. Setting her on the cold surface, he pressed feverish kisses down her neck.

"Oh god, Akatsuki..." she heard herself mumbling mindlessly, her body thrumming from what they'd been doing, for what they were _about_ to do. "You're driving me..."

Her voice broke into a sob as he captured a nipple between his lips. Her hands buried into his bright hair. He pulled her deeper into his mouth, sucking and stroking her with his tongue. She let out one helpless cry after another, pressing him to her as hard as she could.

And she snapped, so far gone she no longer knew what she was begging for, "Please, Akatsuki...please..."

With a groan, he dragged himself away from her breast, grasping the thong to practically rip it off of her legs. As he straightened, his hands moved to undo the clasp of his belt. She fumbled to help him, but her clumsy attempts were only slowing his progress. Giving up, she moved to his shirt, trying to undo the buttons with shaking hands.

But she'd only managed to unbutton a few before he was leaning over her. With one hand cradling the back of her head he laid her on the table, his arousal hot and heavy against her inner thigh.

Oh god, she wanted him so badly there were tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. Pushing her hands under his shirt, she grasped the muscles of his shoulders.

"Now, Akatsuki..." she pleaded, her nails digging into his skin. "Please. Don't make me wait."

But he remained still, threading his fingers through her hair to hold her captive. His eyes met hers, their normal mahogany color now burning crimson with desire.

He held her gaze, his voice as rough as gravel. "Biting. Blood. _This_..." he ground out, nudging her sensitive flesh with the hard ridge of his erection. "Only with me."

She clutched his waist between her thighs, desperately trying to pull him inside her. "Yes. Yes. Oh god, you're driving me insane."

As his head lowered to her throat, his breathing became heavy and ragged. She felt the light scraping of his fangs.

"I am not sharing you." he growled, his fingers digging into her thigh, nearly hard enough to bruise. "You belong only to me."

Ruka distantly heard herself moaning in anguish. He began to push inside her, just barely giving her an inch. She'd thought his self-control was infallible, that he could hold that position for hours, but soon he was fighting to keep still, his muscles trembling under her palms.

His voice was so soft it was almost a whisper. "I need to hear you say it."

The weakness revealed in his words struck her like a blow, and her heart twisted painfully. "Oh Akatsuki," She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding him close. "I'm yours. Only yours."

She felt the sharpness of his bite first. Then, in one solid stroke, he thrust inside her. The forcefulness with which he claimed her should have been intimidating, but she needed it. Shocked by his size, his heat - shocked by _him_ - Ruka found herself in a near state of paralysis.

For several seconds, he just held her like that. His fangs clamped down on her neck possessively as her body slowly stretched to accommodate him.. He was sucking her blood in long draws, and with each pull, his chest vibrated against her in a low groan. It should have hurt, but nothing had ever felt so good.

Then he began moving.

She'd thought she'd known pleasure. She'd thought she'd known love. But it all paled in comparison to this. His pace was steady, his strokes hard and demanding. Each slow thrust drew a moan from her lips, and too quickly, she felt the building pressure begin to rise.

Just when she thought she was done for, he paused abruptly. Her ears began to roar, her mind screaming in distress at the thought of more slow torture.

"Akatsuki," she sobbed. God, she was so close it was almost painful. "I can't...I need..."

She hadn't realized that he was no longer drinking until she heard his gruff voice.

"I know." he said, sliding a hand under her knee to lift her leg higher. "I've got you."

When he drove inside her again, the new angle brought him deeper, and they both moaned in gratification.

It didn't take her long after that. He'd managed to reach that spot that sent a searing pulse of heat straight through her center. One more sure stroke, and she went soaring, her insides clamping around him in hot spasms, his name tearing from her throat in a moan of sheer ecstasy.

His lips came down on hers, devouring her cries as his pace became more insistent. She heard him suck in a breath, felt his body go tense, and his mouth broke away as if he had no choice.

"Ah, Ruka..." he groaned, between heaving breaths. "You feel too good."

Defeated, he pulled her tightly against his chest, burying his face in her hair as he came in a drawn out release.

* * *

Drained to the point of exhaustion, Kain let her take his weight. He remained in that position until his heart slowed, her skin cooling against his.

She was in his arms. That was all that mattered.

But when he lifted himself up to give her room, he noticed that her breathing was choppy. The tendons in her neck were strained. Her fangs were lengthened. Her eyes were an alluring deep red.

"Oh hell," he said as he let out a breath. "Ruka, I'm sorry."

He'd gotten carried away, completely swept up in the intensity of his emotions. So much so that he'd forgotten how long it had been for her.

Realizing that his hand was still in her hair, holding her against the table, he released her. He stood up to rip off his shirt, then gathered her in his arms.

She wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face into the space between his neck and shoulder. Her weight was feather light as he carried her towards the bed.

When she spoke she sounded as if she was in pain. "I have to..." Her fingers dug into his back. "...can I?"

"Of course." Surprised at her hesitation, his voice came out soothing, his heart giving a sharp tug at her pleas. "You don't have to ask."

Her thirst must have been incredibly intense, because she bit him instantly. He hadn't even made it to the bed yet. Stunned by the quick pricks of her fangs, he nearly lost his footing.

Anger spiked through him. He couldn't help it. That pureblood monster must have relished keeping her in a state of near desperation. He should have killed him when he'd had the chance.

She gave a small shiver, and as he sat on the edge of the bed, he grabbed the blanket to cover her naked skin. Holding her close to his heart, he felt a sense of contentment. This was where she belonged.

Finally, after years of agony, he could let himself relax. There were still a few more steps, but he'd overcome the biggest hurdle.

Sighing as she took long draws of sustenance, he reflected on how much he'd gone through to get to this point. From the moment they'd met the pureblood in that small playroom of Aidou's mansion, Kain had felt her being pulled from his grasp. It had escalated so quickly. One minute she had been his alone, and the next, another had torn her away.

It hadn't been a conscious decision, following her into Kaname's dominion. It had simply seemed the only solution to a man with little else left. But as Kaname's orders and dictations had become more demanding, he'd felt himself sinking deeper, until he'd been completely dragged under, completing even the most appalling of tasks.

Had there been a point? Had it even been worth it? It certainly hadn't felt like it that night he'd stood outside the door, listening to Kaname drain her, his heart breaking in two. It hadn't seemed worth it when he'd been walking through that laboratory, destroying everything in his path - medical instruments, files and records. Bodies, both dead and alive...

With a swift intake of air, Ruka's head snapped away from his neck. She was shaking profusely, her rose eyes wide in horror.

Oh hell, what had he been thinking about?

She went limp in his arms, sobs wracking her body. "Oh god, Akatsuki, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Disgusted with himself, Kain's stomach sank. He pulled her tightly against him, leaning over her slightly. "Shhhhh," He tried consoling her, desperately wishing he could erase his dark past. "Damn it, I didn't mean for you to see any of that."

But his whispered words had no effect, and she continued to apologize in agony, her tears dampening his forearm. With a feeling of helplessness, Kain tried rocking her against him.

"Shhhh, sweetheart, you don't have to apologize for anything." He made his voice low and soothing. "I would move the earth for you. This was nothing."

Lying back on the bed, he pulled her with him, never releasing his hold even as she trembled. "It's not your fault." he continued, "It's not something you could have changed even if you'd tried."

He'd had years to accept it, but she'd just been swamped by all of his painful experiences in the span of less than ten minutes. It shouldn't have surprised him that she would react like this. With the darkness of his memories, anybody would have been affected.

Still, he didn't stop stroking his hand down her back. He didn't stop whispering words of consolation in her ear.

And when her sobs turned into hiccups, he closed his eyes.

"I'll always love you, Ruka." he whispered, "That's just how it is."

* * *

**ok ok, I know hardly any questions were answered in this chapter, but hell, sometimes I just have to sit back and write a nice juicy lemon.**

**Seriously though, I spent hours upon hours working on this chapter. It was so important to me that I even denied my boyfriend sex for a 2 weeks just so I could stay in the mood...**

**And that is not a joke.**

**So, no matter what you thought of it, I'd love it if you'd drop me a line. A few words or an essay, whatever you're in the mood for. I'm dying to hear your thoughts.**

**And now, where is that boyfriend of mine...**


End file.
